u/kalak242

Our car is beyond repair and we are looking at buying something as cheap as possible to get us through the next year or two before we can make a better investment. I see a lot of cheaper used cars on Facebook that say they haven't been safetied. Do you always have to get a safety inspection before registering a new car? Back in Alberta it was basically a free for all when it comes to used cars but it seems more complicated here. Basically we are trying to figure out what the cheapest way to buy a used car will be without MPI fees or inspections being too much.

You spend 27 years being the perfect son, brother, whatever, and the moment you reveal you're straying from their stupid ideals all respect and love goes out the window. They say they love you but they "can't support you", they say they're not transphobes and then proceed to be the biggest transphobes imaginable. You question where in the Bible it even talks about trans people (it doesn't) but it doesn't change anything. I've lost my siblings, my parents, I'm not allowed to see my nieces ever again because they don't want to "confuse" them. They don't agree with my "decision". Like I'm fucking sorry for deciding to live instead of killing myself. No hatred is stronger than Christian love. They don't even follow their own teachings. If any of it is real I fucking hope they go to hell for all the pain they cause. So fucking delusional and yet they think the same of anyone who doesn't share their views. Fucking hell, how do you even fix a delusion that's been beat into them since birth. How the fuck did none of my siblings figure out it's all bullshit we went through the same shit. Idiots.

Rant over, I'm getting drunk today

I'm 27, married, live away from parents, so I'm not dependent on them at all. We've always been at odds due to my lack of belief in their religion since I "came out" to them about that when I was 14. Things got better throughout my late teens and 20's and we were a really close family (mostly because we just didn't talk about our differences). That's part of why it was so hard for me to accept that I'm a trans woman. Obviously there's a lot of internal shame and we were taught to judge queer people from a young age so I know that's fucked up on their part. They are Pentecostal Christians and so are all my siblings (somehow I'm the only one who didn't follow in their footsteps). Also me and my siblings were all homeschooled so we were extra close having spent so much time together.

I came out to one of my sister's early this year and it went horribly. Said the devil is tearing apart our family and she can't support me due to her faith and threatened to tell my parents within 3 days of me telling her if I didn't do it myself, which she followed through on. My parents haven't taken it well. I've answered all their questions and tried to help them learn but it doesn't seem to do anything. They say they love me and want a relationship but can't use my name or pronouns and still try to convince me I'm wrong everytime it comes up. I also have been extremely defensive since it all happened so fast and this happened when I wasn't even a month on hrt so I was very emotional. Since then I've came out to my other siblings and none of them want anything to do with me. My parents still talk to me but refuse to try to help my siblings change their minds even though the whole reason they hate me is because of what our parents taught us. Most recently they told my grandma without asking me first, my extremely evangelical maple MAGA Alberta seperatist anti vax grandma. They said they thought it was best before she hears it from someone else? Even though last I visited we literally talked and made a plan on how to tell her and I was the one who was to do it. I'm upset I'll never have another normal conversation with my grandma again or be able to go to her farm again without being preached at and disrespected the whole time. I also am not sure if this one is their fault but when I came out to my little brother in person he was totally chill and accepting and gave me a hug and I was so relieved. But 3 days later he texted me he didn't want anything to do with me, trans people aren't real, he doesn't want to learn, and he used to look up to me. I think someone talked to him to convince him not to be okay with it. He said he just didn't know what to say when I told him and that's why he pretended to be okay with it but I didnt get any hint of that when we talked.

My parents keep saying they want a relationship and they love me how I am but how can that possibly be true with everything that's happened? Everytime I bring up how much things they and my siblings have hurt me they seem to think it's my fault and get defensive. They still want me to apologize to my sister for forcing a big secret on her and think I was completely in the wrong about it (she's 23 and doesn't live at home) I was pissed after they told my grandma and I called my dad by his legal name that he doesn't use, he goes by a different one, and my mom said that was "low". My mom half assed apologized and said "I'm sorry that's how you feel". I called it a worthless apology and now she's saying the love and respect I expect from them needs to go both ways. Said she's heartbroken this is where our relationship is at and she's the worst mom ever and whatever else.

I'm so fucking mad at them all the time and I'm so hurt that I'm losing my whole family over just being happy and myself. I just want to know if I'm expecting too much. One of my friends who's been transitioning for 3 years said to give it time and her parents still don't use her name and pronouns but at least dont give her shit anymore and I just can't imagine waiting that long to not even be truly accepted. But I also know it's only been 5 months since my parents found out so this probably feels quick to them even though it feels like a lifetime for me. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Or realized they're the problem with how it's gone with family? I can't tell if I've been too aggressive and upset with them I'm just making it worse or if I can really never expect them to change and accept me for who I am. My wife is fully on my side and I worry we are a two person echo chamber because we're so annoyed about how our families have taken it. To us being trans is no big deal but I recognize it is to some people. Things could be worse with my parents, they've never threatened to disown me or said they want nothing to do with this but I don't think they've handled it well at all, but maybe I haven't either.

I would appreciate any outside perspectives on this, I'm just so sad and angry I can't even think straight about it.

I don't know if this will be welcome here but I'm a trans woman working at a tiny consulting company with 3 men. I'm the most junior employee only 2 years out of school and came out to them as trans a few months ago. They've been supportive but I'm worried I'm being taken less seriously (big surprise /s), and I wonder if part of that is how I'm dressing. I toned it down at first just high waisted pants and professional blouses but it's summer and I've been loving wearing dresses with brightish colours and a bit more jewelry just whatever makes me feel good. I'm not wearing anything I consider inappropriate, but I don't see much colour or personality in the way other women dress at networking events and such so I'm wondering if there's a reason for that. My office is very casual compared to an official event but still. As supportive as they've been and even though I've been excelling in my role based on what they've told me I'm extremely nervous about losing this job. Interviewing as a fresh trans woman in this job market sounds terrifying and I don't want to give them any more reasons to judge me even subconsciously.

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Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I don't want to limit my personality since I did that for my entire life until now but I also want to be professional and being so new to being a woman in this field I don't really know what the best course of action in this field or how worried I should be or what the expectations are. For context I'm in Canada in a progressive city but work in a typically male dominated (like 95 percent) and conservative field. But I don't directly interact with clients often and it's usually just us in the tiny office.

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Thank you for reading, I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this.

So I'm a transgender woman, and I don't know if this is the right place to post since it is not my partner who feels this way but some of our family members. If there is a better place to post this please let me know. Totally understand if this gets removed also.

I'm having a really hard time understanding the reactions people have had to my transition. My partner was completely nonchalant about it, fully accepting me immediately, it helps they are also queer. My workplace is chill, my friends are all accepting. But my parents, siblings, and my partners parents have all described feeling shattered or like they're grieving or "this is the worst news we could have gotten", etc. They are all either Christian or Catholic and are all conservative for context. Can someone explain these emotions? I just don't understand being heartbroken about someone being a happier and more complete version of themself, and in the case of family I don't see how it even affects them since it's not their life. And like I'm still here, I'm not dead or dying and I just don't understand why it is such a big deal.

Again, maybe not the right place for this, but I want to understand why people feel this way and maybe people here will be able to explain and understand that better than I can.

Thank you!

Going to be back in my hometown for the first time since transitioning and just putting this out there to see if anything has changed or not. Title pretty self explanatory.

I got harassed for the first time yesterday, after an already shitty week with some relationship issues and coming out to my religious sister.

I'm not passing at all only 4 months hrt and I'm big like 6'2" and 300 lbs but hadn't had any issues dressing fem in public before other than some stares so this caught me off guard. I was walking by and the kid just starts yelling in my face all variations of the f-slur and "what the fuck is that" "ugly fucking f**" and it just startled me. I just didn't make eye contact and kept walking, thankfully they didn't follow me but should I have said anything? I just froze basically. I already felt pretty shitty from everything else in my life so it didn't really change the state of my day but I just feel awful and disgusting now. I feel like I need to put more effort into my appearance or start boymoding again but I felt so safe before and it sucks. I know I'm risking this kind of thing going out without makeup and just generally in my current state but I want to be prepared if it happens again. Does anyone have any advice or did I handle it as best I could?