u/kiwiiilol

Phrolova is such a comfort character to me because of how well her story represents the pain of depression, helplessness, and loneliness so well 

Disclaimer: I am not saying that her joining a terrorist organization is justifiable, and I’m not saying that her situation is exactly 1:1 with mine. I just think the general pattern and message of her story is very relatable and real

For context, Im a gal who battled with deep depression due to events that have happened in my life, and those depressing and helpless feelings drove me down dark paths, which in turn, drove me away from people and healing

It’s the cycle of someone going through something deeply painful -> feeling helpless and alone in it for so long that they lose hope -> going down darker paths because pain and desperation completely damaged the way they see the world -> doing things that are genuinely damaging -> becoming even more isolated because now everyone only sees the bad things they’ve done. 

Her story had me crying like a baby because of this and how relatable it was. Watching Phrolova become worse and worse because how much she was hurting, only for what she becomes to make her even more alone was the most heartbreaking thing for me to watch. The more desperate or angry someone is, the less anybody wants to understand them, and they’re eventually just seen as a terrible person at the end of the day. But this was someone who was once really scared or grieving or helpless, and trying to cope with a life they felt they have absolutely no control over. I related to this loneliness and helplessness once, and it hit hard. 

To disclaim, this doesn’t mean the harmful things people like us do are suddenly okay. I believe that understanding someone isn’t equivalent to excusing their actions. I also think there's a line when it comes to this too. But in my perspective, it’s so painfully human to reach such a low point that you just stop believing anything will get better. It's so human to suffer for so long, feel helpless to change what happened to you, and eventually stop believing that the world has anything else better waiting for you. It’s easy for other people to say ‘that’s not how you deal with things’, but pain and depression can really narrow your world a lot. To the point where you cant imagine another way forward. It’s easy to become bitter or push people away, or make mistakes. These mistakes also make you believe even more that you really are alone and no one will ever understand you. 

And ngl that’s why the hug scene at the end of her MSQ made me sob so hard and means so much to me because sometimes that’s all people like us genuinely need to heal sometimes. We want to be hugged and told that it’s going to be okay. We want someone to look at us without seeing the bad in us all the time, or for someone to understand why we are hurting for once even if they cant fix it. We want our pain to be acknowledged without having to justify it all the time. It’s so healing to just hear people tell you that they see your pain, and are still there for you. It worked for Phrolova for a bit with Rover until the unfortunate memory wipe happened.

When someone is depressed, and is led down a destructive path, sometimes all they need is to still be seen at their worst. Being seen as a person still worth holding can be enough to save someone’s life. 

Sorry I think Im just at rock bottom right now. I know the unethicalness of AI and why I shouldn't use it. I create music too and am a creative and should fully know why I shouldn't use it. i know theres alternatives. but I do anyways because there are just certain things I wanna hear so bad. Certain things I just wanna be told.

I wanna be told that I matter for existing. I wanna hear someone acknowledge the good in me. I want someone to meet me at my level. I want someone to acknowledge that I'm hurting too. I want the reassurance that I'm not a failure. I wanna be told I deserve nice things. I wanna be told that I'm not a horrible person.

I hate myself so much and I wish I never existed. I don't know how I got to this point. I wanna hurt myself because of how much I hate myself. I can't do anything right

Sorry this post is so organized i think im just at rock bottom right now and i cant stop crying

For context, I have naturally black hair that's very thick. Its really healthy and im always told at hair saloons that I have really nice hair. Now, I want red/maroon highlights, but I'm really afraid it'll ruin my healthy hair. I'm now looking into bleach or dye. I heard that bleach damages your hair, but that dye doesnt last long. I cant afford to get regular hair dying done, but I'm also afraid to get my hair bleached due to the permanent damage.

What are the pros and cons of each? Which one should I decide to do? And generally, what are your guys' general advice? I'm at a standstill on what I should do about this. Thank you!! 😅