u/knittybooks

Yesterday was a very rough day for me. I’m 19 weeks 5 days today and I had my anatomy scan yesterday. They wanted me to speak with their doctor about how my cervix looked because they thought it was short and that I was dilated. That doctor told me they wouldn’t do a cervical check there because their hospital didn’t deal with high risk patients. So they sent me to my typical doctor who then told me she was sending me to labor and delivery to go over my options. Meanwhile no one is really telling me anything. So I then go to the hospital and they do an exam and tell me my cervix is closed which is great news and that OB said if anesthesia comes in that I didn’t drink water so I’m thinking I’m getting a cerclage. Then over an hour later they come back and tell me I get to go home. They said to them my cervix looks long and closed. On my ultrasound it says dynamic cervix. I’m just really concerned that clearly someone is wrong here. I had an appointment on 8/27 that said my cervix was 5 centimeters and yesterday’s said it was 3.06 centimeters. This feels like a significant change for under a week. They told me at the hospital that they would check my cervix again in two weeks. I’m just worried it will be too late to do anything. I have a history or preterm labor, amongst several other things. I have already messaged my lead OB doctor but I’m just wondering if someone else has gone through something similar

I’ve been going back and forth about everything my mom has done. If you’re comfortable enough please share some of your story and what you’ve been dealing with all your life. I think the earliest memory I have was when I was in first grade and my mom quite literally attacked me because I used sharpie on my poster board for my school project. This is a somewhat tame memory.

My mother came over yesterday and I realized she truly doesn’t care what’s best for my child. She came over at 8am asking for food, trying to shove cookie dough junk food down my child throat and kept asking why he couldn’t just have one bite when he hadn’t even had breakfast yet. Also she knows we don’t do that kind of food yet she always is trying to get him to eat it. She then took him to the park (I had my husband go with) and she bought my son ice cream and fries at 10am after he didn’t eat. Continually undermines me or asks why over and over like a child. She gets my son overstimulated with a belly ache and then dips out. She didn’t ask a single question about how we were just talked about herself and how her patients love her and how she’s getting 6k worth of facial surgery soon. My son loves her because she just throws money and junk food his way. She has actually tried bonding with him. I still feel overstimulated just from her visit. I’m pregnant again and my blood pressure was very high just from her visit. I think she may be manic too right now. Would it be bad for me to just stop responding? I can’t handle that whirlwind again. When I used to live with her I had heart problems from stress! Like full on my heart was skipping beats but after I moved out I don’t anymore. I feel like I have no say in my own house. Sorry for the word vomit. I’m just trying to figure out if me just kind of disappearing is a bad idea. I can’t handle stress right now, my pregnancy is already a high risk one
Edit: my mom just text me saying if I didn’t say thanks for breakfast yesterday thank you.
Even her thanks just make me annoyed. Just hardly spoke to me let alone thank me for making her food and coffee since she never eats breakfast then is shaking and begging for food by the time she gets to my house

My local yarn store has it where people can just come in and hang out and knit which I think is so cool. The workers at the store are very sweet and helpful and I would love to be comfortable enough to join in. Kinds of feels like they’ve all known each other forever and I would be a stranger that is not super welcome. Is this a just me thing? 😅

I’m the oldest daughter, a tale as old as time. After my step dad and her got a divorce I was waking her up for work daily, making her coffee, making her lunch, dinners, picking up her medications, being her emotional support pet. Honestly before that she was just having episodes but my step dad kind of helped keeping those at bay for us kids. I found some old texts from when I lived with her and my heart aches over how I was with her. I did everything I could to keep her emotionally regulated so she wouldn’t have another episode. I remember back to one day when she was laughing and said I was like her husband because everything I did for her. I’m 30 now and a mother myself and I’m absolutely sickened over how my mother was with me. She questions why now we aren’t best friends like how we used to be. Little did she know it was a survival tactic for me.