u/kwnlo

How long did it last, and how did you get through it?

Looking for solidarity during this time, I’m trying really hard not to spiral.

I returned to work part time this week and now have to pump for my baby. Baby is with my MIL from 9 am to 1 pm, and she usually feeds her around 8 oz during this time. Today, however, she fed her 9.5 oz.

I get around 4 oz. with my morning pump and 2 oz. with my mid day pump using my Eufy 1 wearables for an average of 6 oz in the same timeframe. Then I EBF for the rest of the day.

My questions:

1. Is it possible I’ve been under feeding my baby this whole time? She is currently 14 weeks.

2. How can I increase my supply to match what she’s currently eating? Should I add a power pump? If so, what time of day?

This morning my husband left me and the baby again to go to the gym. I have been feeling resentful about this for weeks, the fact that he can spontaneously leave us and the house with no consequences. Meanwhile if I have to leave the house, it requires military precision planning and an unhealthy dose of mom guilt. I’m on maternity leave, and he has been taking advantage of when baby and I are asleep, but when we wake up and he’s gone, I’m left to my own in the mornings with no time for anything.

We were sitting down for breakfast when he asked if I was excited to be spoiling him on Father’s Day. He is already going golfing with his friends on Saturday. I snapped and said when would I have time to do that? I’m holding the baby all day long. I am also currently nursing her to sleep for all naps and handling all night wake-ups (Thankfully, she sleeps through a decent amount of nights.). He takes on the groceries, sometimes cooking, the occasional wake window, and puts her to sleep at night.

We have piles of laundry everywhere, dishes in the sink, bottles that need to washed, diapers that need to be thrown away, and the bathrooms that haven’t been cleaned for months. Most days, I can’t help thinking I would be better off doing this by myself. Because then at least I wouldn’t be cleaning up after someone else and feeling resentful every time I look at him. He has so much more free time compared to me, but he spends it decompressing with TV or doom scrolling.

He asked me why I’m always annoyed. Then he asked why can’t you just be happy? I have a house, a husband, a dog and a healthy baby. Why am I annoyed all the time? I feel sad because I know he’s capable of being a better partner, but I can’t get him there. I think he may have PPD, he’s so focused on how different our lives are now or what we would be doing if we didn’t have a child. I know he’s having a hard time accepting this is our new reality. I’m not sure why I’m writing all this, just looking for a place where I can vent and feel sad without being judged.

My little beebs is almost 3 months old.

We EBF and have been nursing to sleep for both naps and evenings. She normally feeds every 1.5-2 hours and then sleeps through most nights. The past three days, however, she has not been happy. She will pop on the boob and pop off over and over, obviously frustrated. She will whine and cry. She refuses to nap. Her feeding times have decreased from about 8 minutes per boob to now about 5 minutes per boob. I’m not sure if my supply has dipped? Maybe she is not getting enough?

Is this the 3 month nursing strike? How long did yours last? Between this and the lack of naps, I don’t know how I will persevere. She is still having a regular amount of wet and poopy diapers.

My LO is almost 3 months old, so we will be transitioning from wrap to carrier soon. We have the Wildbird Aerial Buckle, but I’m already having a lot of issues with it. The waist strap is too big on me, it’s tedious to put on and adjust, and my LO screams bloody murder when she’s in it.

What carrier would you recommend that we can grow into? I was hoping for something easier and softer, the fabric on the Wildbird carrier is quite scratchy as well.

My mom is visiting for the weekend. The first day was rough - baby missed all her nap windows and was crying up a storm all day because she was overtired.

My mom made a few comments yesterday about how I hold my baby too much. That I needed to put her down to help “straighten her spine” because she’s too tense. That my grandma always made her put us down. Yesterday I ignored the comments.

This morning I was holding my LO when she told me to put her down to play, so I did. Then she started crying, my husband came downstairs and picked her up. My mom told him to let her cry it out, that it’s good for her lungs. I heard her and said no, that’s not what we’re doing. She said I’m making things difficult for myself, that I will never be able to get anything done. I said, she’s a baby and this is what she needs right now. We took the baby upstairs and are currently putting her down for a nap.

Am I wrong? Baby girl was in my stomach just 9 weeks ago and wants her comfort and warmth. I don’t think it’s fair to force her to cry to make my life “easier.”

My LO is 7 weeks old and is EBF.

The past few nights I have tried to put her to sleep to no avail. She wails in my arms and will not settle no matter what I do. I will try to soothe her by breastfeeding, but she will fuss and cry. Or she will fall asleep at the boob and wake up crying when I go to burp her.

She will, however, settle with my husband. He has been able to put her to sleep the past few nights, but the situation is not ideal. Tonight was especially rough because every time he put her in the bassinet, she would wake up crying. I could tell he was losing his patience. I would normally be able to swoop in and help, but now I feel completely awful and powerless.

I read that this happens because they can smell us and our milk. Has this happened to anyone else? If so, what can I do, and how long does this phase last?

TW: 4th degree tear

These posts were my favorite to read in the days leading up to my delivery. It's taken me some time to write it down, but I did it! I gave birth to a beautiful little girl on March 18th.

For background, I'm 35 years old and had an uneventful pregnancy. The only thing I struggled with was intense pelvic pain, which increased in the third trimester. I'm a fairly petite person, and OB predicted my baby was going to be in the 6 lb range.

I had a scheduled induction at 40+1. I was 0 cm dilated, so my induction started with a round of cervidil at 8 pm. To me, this was the worst part. Not in terms of pain, just that I was chained to machines for 12+ hours and needing to pee every 45 minutes while my cervix was shedding. It was awful, I didn't sleep a wink.

Fifteen hours later, I was 4-5 cm dilated, and they started me on pitocin. One of the nurses took pity on me and gave me wireless monitors so that I could move around before my epidural. I took a lap around the unit and then put on some fun music in the delivery room to dance out the nerves. My contractions started to ramp up, and I was aware that the delivery unit was filling up and short-staffed. I asked for the epidural at the first chance just in case. Epidural was completely painless and as soon as I received it, I took a blissful nap.

After the nap I was still about 5 cm dilated, and the nurse put me in different positions using a peanut ball. At this point I was very skeptical that this was really going to do anything. But lo and behold a few hours later, I was about 8 cm dilated. My nurse informed us that the patient next door was 9 cm dilated, so at this point, it was a race to see who was delivering first...

The patient next door won. While she was delivering, I felt an intense urge to get rid of pressure. Oh, and full on body shakes. No one tells you about the body shakes! My nurse told me the midwife was finishing up next door, but if I felt the need to push then she wasn't going to stop me. She helped me through a few pushes and I thought, oh my god, if this is what pushing is, I don't know if I can do this.

The nurse continued to encourage me to push, but I held on until the midwife arrived. I did a few big pushes, and they asked me if I wanted to feel my baby's head. I reached down, and there it was! This is where I lost it a little bit. I kept pushing but nothing was really happening, and I said, "I can't do this." I really thought I was headed to C-section territory. To which everyone in the room, midwife, nurses, my husband and mom all replied, "YOU CAN DO THIS!" Not Adam Sandler style, unfortunately. They told me they needed a few more good pushes. I thought about the cervidil hell I just went through, held on tight, and pushed with everything in me. After two pushes like that, the midwife asked if I had one more in me. I nodded yes and she said, "Go ahead." The next thing I know, my baby was out and on my chest. My husband said the love on my face was instant.

This is where things get hazy for me. Apparently, I was losing a lot of blood... almost a liter. They put something in my IV to stop it. In addition to that, I had what the midwife initially thought was a 3rd degree tear. She was not completely comfortable stitching me up, so they called my OB. He arrived about 15-20 minutes later, informed us it was a minor 4th degree tear, and stitched me up during golden hour. Thank the fertility gods for the epidural because I didn't feel a thing except for a little tugging. My baby was 7 lb 11 oz, so a lot bigger than expected and probably the main reason for my tear.

I am now seven weeks out from the experience, still processing and healing. I can't believe I birthed this entire human, though I definitely have the battle scars to prove it. I am very biased, but she is the cutest baby I've ever seen. To all moms out there, you are superhuman. The fact that our bodies do this, the fact that we have been doing this for centuries, the fact that men could NEVER. Cheers to you all, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading.

I’m currently in the newborn trenches and constantly worried about my supply and whether it’s enough. We are actually doing okay so far, but it’s hard not to second guess yourself when your baby is crying and you can’t seem to figure out why.

What makes it worse are people’s comments. Whenever we tell people our baby has been fussy or difficult to put down, the first thing they ask is, “Did you try feeding her?”

Oh wow, what a concept. Feeding our baby! We never would have thought of that!

We had a particularly rough night the other night and MIL asked if we tried giving her a bottle. I am exclusively BF except for one bottle before bedtime. I know these comments are coming from a place of care, but to me, it feels like they are suggesting that breastfeeding is (and therefore I am) not enough. MIL has especially been getting on my nerves, as she is constantly implying that a crying baby is a hungry baby.

I know I’m being overly sensitive but wondering if you’ve felt the same, and if so, how you overcame these feelings?