u/l1nds3y4lon3

I'm a 49f living with my husband, 54 and son 23. At the beginning of COVID my husband had a heat stroke and hit his head causing hemorrhaging of his brain. He has since lost the left side and frontal lobe of his brain due to scar tissue. We spent 2 years trying to get disability, first time denied and second time accepted. Because he needed round the clock care with everything my son and I took shifts helping. During that period his family helped us out but that help has now run out. His dad and brother are in Florida and his dad is dealing with stage 4 lung cancer. My family is in Texas and at 75 my dad is a truck driver still just making it paycheck to paycheck but helps it when and how he can. However my issues just keep building. We live off my husbands disability. When everything began we had 1 car. 4 years ago before my husband lost his ability to drive he purchased a newer car and we paid for it before driving it off the lot. We also paid extra for a 3 year warranty. We've rented our home for 21 years and have not had an increase in it. We pay $550 a month. My son has had jobs but has not been able to keep him due to relying on friends to get him to and from. The closest public transportation access is 2 miles away. Outside of hospital visits and pharmacy visits I've been in my house for 7 months. I live on a road with speeds of 55+ and my backyard is utilized by my landlord who owns the golf course we live on as a cart parking lot.

So 7 months, no car, stuck inside has been hard on us all mentally but I had hope sooner or later something would come though, I'd find a way. Well in the state of Illinois they will not pay a spouse to be a caregiver because it's my financial responsibility. So I can not make money because he can not be left unattended for more than a couple hours at a time. I did a furniture restoration before losing my car and did make good money from doing so but without being able to collect or find pieces to restore O have lost that. We sold the older car believing the newer car would last longer. Until it didn't. We paid $19000 outright. That price was with the warranty we paid for. When the car died we had it towed back to the dealership who gave us a quote of $18000 to repair it. Due to money already right after the towing and the diagnostics and only having 4 days to remove it from the property before they claimed ownership we junked it. I had no one to ask for help to get it back to my house. I don't even have anyone to ask to take me to the pharmacy.

I searched loop holes. My son can be paid through Medicaid but Medicaid can only be applied if we pay a spend down of $91 a month. Doesn't sound like a lot except we already don't make it through the month without paying it and from my experience nothing is quick when done through the government and definitely not a definite.

This past weekend within one hour I had my vacuum motor die, and my washer stopped draining. I have already fixed the washer 3 times to salvage it. It's older than my son. I've tried taking it apart to check the pump but the clamps are so rusted I can't get them to budge. The bottom of the washer is rusted. The lid is hanging on by one side because the rust to the lid has eaten through completely. I bought a new vacuum of Amazon for $89. After tax being $107.

When I went to order groceries Monday being the first I found I now have had my snap benefits discontinued. I spent 3 hours on the phone yesterday reapplying and have to now wait for paperwork and send them what they require before I can be approved. The reason I was denied was because I didn't meet the work requirements although I've been told time and time again I am exempt from the work requirement because I'm my husband's caregiver. So now we are spending disability money to buy groceries.

I can not keep simply ex just to wake up to another struggle. I cry daily within hours of waking up because I'm overwhelmed. I have no where to turn. I opened a gofundme (or my son did and I shared it) in November. We have had 7 views, no donations. If we had transportation I could go to the laundry mat. If we had a washer I would have clean towels. But I can't do any of this. I can make call after call but am met this a closed door. My dad told me to call a dealership and plea my case hoping they would work with me which is my next task. I've lost all hope and find all of this exhausting. This is a long shot. I just know the worst that will come from it is exactly where I'm at. Thank you for your time.

I'm a 49f living with my husband, 54 and son 23. At the beginning of COVID my husband had a heat stroke and hit his head causing hemorrhaging of his brain. He has since lost the left side and frontal lobe of his brain due to scar tissue. We spent 2 years trying to get disability, first time denied and second time accepted. Because he needed round the clock care with everything my son and I took shifts helping. During that period his family helped us out but that help has now run out. His dad and brother are in Florida and his dad is dealing with stage 4 lung cancer. My family is in Texas and at 75 my dad is a truck driver still just making it paycheck to paycheck but helps it when and how he can. However my issues just keep building. We live off my husbands disability. When everything began we had 1 car. 4 years ago before my husband lost his ability to drive he purchased a newer car and we paid for it before driving it off the lot. We also paid extra for a 3 year warranty. We've rented our home for 21 years and have not had an increase in it. We pay $550 a month. My son has had jobs but has not been able to keep him due to relying on friends to get him to and from. The closest public transportation access is 2 miles away. Outside of hospital visits and pharmacy visits I've been in my house for 7 months. I live on a road with speeds of 55+ and my backyard is utilized by my landlord who owns the golf course we live on as a cart parking lot.

So 7 months, no car, stuck inside has been hard on us all mentally but I had hope sooner or later something would come though, I'd find a way. Well in the state of Illinois they will not pay a spouse to be a caregiver because it's my financial responsibility. So I can not make money because he can not be left unattended for more than a couple hours at a time. I did a furniture restoration before losing my car and did make good money from doing so but without being able to collect or find pieces to restore O have lost that. We sold the older car believing the newer car would last longer. Until it didn't. We paid $19000 outright. That price was with the warranty we paid for. When the car died we had it towed back to the dealership who gave us a quote of $18000 to repair it. Due to money already right after the towing and the diagnostics and only having 4 days to remove it from the property before they claimed ownership we junked it. I had no one to ask for help to get it back to my house. I don't even have anyone to ask to take me to the pharmacy.

I searched loop holes. My son can be paid through Medicaid but Medicaid can only be applied if we pay a spend down of $91 a month. Doesn't sound like a lot except we already don't make it through the month without paying it and from my experience nothing is quick when done through the government and definitely not a definite.

This past weekend within one hour I had my vacuum motor die, and my washer stopped draining. I have already fixed the washer 3 times to salvage it. It's older than my son. I've tried taking it apart to check the pump but the clamps are so rusted I can't get them to budge. The bottom of the washer is rusted. The lid is hanging on by one side because the rust to the lid has eaten through completely. I bought a new vacuum of Amazon for $89. After tax being $107.

When I went to order groceries Monday being the first I found I now have had my snap benefits discontinued. I spent 3 hours on the phone yesterday reapplying and have to now wait for paperwork and send them what they require before I can be approved. The reason I was denied was because I didn't meet the work requirements although I've been told time and time again I am exempt from the work requirement because I'm my husband's caregiver. So now we are spending disability money to buy groceries.

I can not keep simply ex just to wake up to another struggle. I cry daily within hours of waking up because I'm overwhelmed. I have no where to turn. I opened a gofundme (or my son did and I shared it) in November. We have had 7 views, no donations. If we had transportation I could go to the laundry mat. If we had a washer I would have clean towels. But I can't do any of this. I can make call after call but am met this a closed door. My dad told me to call a dealership and plea my case hoping they would work with me which is my next task. I've lost all hope and find all of this exhausting. This is a long shot. I just know the worst that will come from it is exactly where I'm at. Thank you for your time.

49 (f) I want to give up.

I can't keep going because I don't have the means or people to help. For 6 years I've been taking care of my husband. Right as we were to finalize our divorce he had an accident that left him without half his brain and in a wheel chair. He's my best friend and knowing everything I had built I was walking away from I still did.

It's been hard, so hard. 3 ICU stays, his family calling me a free loader and a thief, no friends or family close by, but I made it. I learned to fix the dryer, get rid of black mold, take care of him and install everything he needs to live his life to the fullest.

I had my escapes, late at night when he was in bed and our son home I could just drive. Listen to my music and come home feeling better. It helped clear my brain. Or taking my dog to the park where we could walk and just be away from it all. I painted and loved going to the art stores just looking and getting inspiration. No matter what happened, I found a way to make it through.

Then my car broke down, the dealership quoting me repairs for more then I paid for the car before driving it off the lot 3 years prior. I live in Illinois. I can not be paid to be his caregiver because we are legally still married. Medicaid wants us to pay for him to be on it. We don't even make it through the month with his disability check.

This winter was the worse. I spent 90% of my time in bed. Why get up? No one stops by, no one calls, no one to converse with. No support. So when the weather got better I started walking my dog. In that time I've been kicked off the golf course my landlord owns and I live on. My backyard is now used as a golf cart parking lot. My front yard is literally next to the parking lot where I get stared at and made to feel insecure.

So I started walking the road at hours when traffic was quiet. Walking with cars going 55+ on the side of the road is not peaceful. However I've done it, for my sanity.

Ive been stuck in my home since October. No Christmas celebration, no Thanksgiving, no birthdays, no easter. Just here. But I keep trying. And today I am doing his bedding, throw it in the washer and now it's not draining or spinning. Mind you I've had to repair this washer 3 times and it's older than my 23 year old son. I go to clean the living room and the motor in my vacuum just slowly dies. I have 4 eggs, a loaf of bread and am just making it work until his disability check. We already owe his friend and my dad money. Money which we tend to borrow every month.

I can't have anything just work without getting worse. I can't get ahead because I'm constantly pulled back down. I can't keep going like this and yet I don't know what to do. I just want to go back to bed when I wake up. I want to just give up and no I can't. But I want to, and I'm sure everyone outside of my "husband" would be happy I did and they could continue to say how they were right.

49 (f) I want to give up.

I can't keep going because I don't have the means or people to help. For 6 years I've been taking care of my husband. Right as we were to finalize our divorce he had an accident that left him without half his brain and in a wheel chair. He's my best friend and knowing everything I had built I was walking away from I still did.

It's been hard, so hard. 3 ICU stays, his family calling me a free loader and a thief, no friends or family close by, but I made it. I learned to fix the dryer, get rid of black mold, take care of him and install everything he needs to live his life to the fullest.

I had my escapes, late at night when he was in bed and our son home I could just drive. Listen to my music and come home feeling better. It helped clear my brain. Or taking my dog to the park where we could walk and just be away from it all. I painted and loved going to the art stores just looking and getting inspiration. No matter what happened, I found a way to make it through.

Then my car broke down, the dealership quoting me repairs for more then I paid for the car before driving it off the lot 3 years prior. I live in Illinois. I can not be paid to be his caregiver because we are legally still married. Medicaid wants us to pay for him to be on it. We don't even make it through the month with his disability check.

This winter was the worse. I spent 90% of my time in bed. Why get up? No one stops by, no one calls, no one to converse with. No support. So when the weather got better I started walking my dog. In that time I've been kicked off the golf course my landlord owns and I live on. My backyard is now used as a golf cart parking lot. My front yard is literally next to the parking lot where I get stared at and made to feel insecure.

So I started walking the road at hours when traffic was quiet. Walking with cars going 55+ on the side of the road is not peaceful. However I've done it, for my sanity.

Ive been stuck in my home since October. No Christmas celebration, no Thanksgiving, no birthdays, no easter. Just here. But I keep trying. And today I am doing his bedding, throw it in the washer and now it's not draining or spinning. Mind you I've had to repair this washer 3 times and it's older than my 23 year old son. I go to clean the living room and the motor in my vacuum just slowly dies. I have 4 eggs, a loaf of bread and am just making it work until his disability check. We already owe his friend and my dad money. Money which we tend to borrow every month.

I can't have anything just work without getting worse. I can't get ahead because I'm constantly pulled back down. I can't keep going like this and yet I don't know what to do. I just want to go back to bed when I wake up. I want to just give up and no I can't. But I want to, and I'm sure everyone outside of my "husband" would be happy I did and they could continue to say how they were right.