u/lifesablurforsure

Just a bit of a vent here..
About 2 months ago my older sister and I moved into to our moms for a short time to get our own individual lives together (tragic I know). During this time I’ve been really trying to utilize it in every way by working out and working a lot to try and at least walk away from this humbling experience with some positivity. My older sister has been struggling with her drinking problem for a few years and it recently has sparked the worst in her thought processes. She started an argument with me over the smallest thing and said some terrible things. I in return was fed up and made the comment that I could smell the alcohol in her breath and her response was “ that’s why you have herpes” my heart sunk…
Because keep in mind I’ve never told her.
Not only that at least she can change her situation I CANT. I went on a 6 mile walk after that because wtf. Not only was that thrown in my face but my OWN sister?
I also have no one to talk to about it after so I had not only endure that but internalize as well.
I’ve tried to move forward and she gave a weak apology which I accepted because I don’t want to carry that conversation on any longer than needed.
I feel like deep down though I’m still hurt and afraid to make her angry because she may say something like that again but infront of people… sucks.

My older sister has been struggling with drinking wine for a few years now. I’ve caught her hiding boxes and bottles of wine to the point where years ago when I cleaned her closet for her I put them all in bags and left them for her to see. I used to say things from a caring perspective and try to not sound even a lick of judgmental. As of recently we both are staying together visiting our mom for a few months and I’ve noticed her behavior change when she drinks now. Regular conversations are terrible because her brain registers everything in the worst way and is immediately defensive over any and everything. She has said some terrible things to me before that I’d never even be able to bring myself to type or say again and that led to me shutting down and just basically having a front row seat to her own destruction. Not only that it’s affected her relationship with her son and it breaks my heart to watch because that little boy doesn’t deserve that. What is the best way to help?

Maybe I’m completely unaware but I feel like I don’t hear about a lot of women who struggle with addiction sexually. I’m a 25F and 100% feel that it’s ruined being able to build a genuine connection with someone. I’m just looking to hear about other women’s experiences and how they either are currently working on or have overcome that.

I feel that as of recently with my life presenting so many changes I have moments where I feel out of my body and act anxious around my own family and friends.
I try to talk myself through it by reminding myself that I’ve known everyone my whole life. Why am I even treating my own headspace like it’s a foreign place to be?
Does this have anything to do with anxiety at all? Or is it just because when I’m not in the best place in life it triggers the weird shit? lol

I hear so many stories about people contracting Hsv from someone they trusted or didn’t disclose to them. In a weird way I’m almost jealous and wish that was my story. I was in such a low low place in my life. I mean drinking so much that I was inflated and I felt like the liquor almost took over my mind, body and spirit to where I was almost a magnet to anything promiscuous. It felt like my body would go into auto pilot or something took over me and I’d get an overwhelming sense of needing to have intercourse. It was so bad I’ve blacked out and have been told the next day by people I’ve trusted that I’ve had intercourse with them. I wouldn’t make a deal out of it because I actually blame myself.. why would I expect someone to respect me if at that time I didn’t respect myself? That went on for so long until it caught up with me and I contracted Hsv. When they say you wouldn’t be able to tell who gave it to you genuinely I wouldn’t. The worst part is I have no idea why liquor gave me that subconscious mind like wtf was I running away from?! I don’t drink now because I feel like I can’t trust myself. I’ve been so sick to my stomach of myself for a few years and finally after a couple of years I feel like I’m at the end of that dark cloud of thoughts. I’m not that girl anymore and I feel like to truly understand her I need to actually talk about it? If that makes sense? Yikes right? 🙁

Hello,

I’ve had Hsv for about 2 years now, I’m a 25 year old female. I’m not necessarily new to having it but I feel like I am in a way because only recently have I internally accepted it. I didn’t realize until now that I covered a lot of my emotions with drinking and going out while others around me would say “you’re young it’s okay!” While having absolutely no idea I’m basically running away from myself all dressed up in club clothes. I have tons of friends and family that I know I could talk about this with but I don’t think I’ll ever really reach that point to face my fears and say it out loud to those that have known me. All this to say I’d love to find people that I could hear their stories and even a space to tell my own so I can try and understand and eventually embrace this part of me I’ve tried to shun for these couple of years.