u/lilpiggyvortex

I've been with my bf (we're both 23) for 2 years. We're both working fulltime and we live 40km away from eachother, we meet on weekends sometimes sleepover during the weekend. When I go to his area we usually just hang out for the day since we can't be at his moms house.

I moved out 2 months ago to live alone, and it has been great both for me and for our relationship since we now have more freedom for all the sleepovers we want. Since he still lives with his mom and she not an amazing person, he comes over more times, which also means he sleepsover at my house everyother weekend. When I lived with my parents, we would only sleepover when they left for vacation, so this newfound freedom has been amazing.

It's always great, and I love being able to be with him, but it also left me with a bigger urge to spend even more time with him. It's starting to frustrate me when I have to meet him and we have to just figure out what to do since we can't even go to his house and relax, we always have to be out or going for a walk or staying in the car.

Recently (and many times before) we've talked about where our relationship is going. I told him I wanted a few months to experience living alone first, but would like to live together. Since we live far away I realise I can't pressure him to come, I realise he works far away, but it makes more sense for him to come here because I own my house I pay less mordgage than we would pay rent.

He had a job interview yesterday in a bigger company and it would mean he would be working closer to me than to his house, so the oportunity for him to move in might be closer than ever. I'm very excited about it but also told him several times that I don't wanna pressure him into moving because I know it can be a big decision and he needs to actually be ready to move out.

But yesterday he started saying that he wouldn't move in permanately and would still have his things at his moms house and would still spend weekends away at his moms house, and honestly we have talked about this since we started dating, and everytime we talked about it he gave me the impression that it would take years before it happens. First he said he would only move out when his father died which at the time caused us to have an argument about how strange that was. Then his father died last year from dementia, and I thought that the time frame he gave me had shortened since he didn't have that pressure anymore of having to take care of him/helping his mom take care of him, but he still says he doesn't wanna abandon his mom so he wouldn't actually move in, he would just spend a few days over sometimes.

Look I don't wanna rush into anything, and I don't need him to move in with me tomorrow, but if we know we work, I wanna spend as much time with him as possible, I wanna start living a life together, I want him to want to do that as well. But it feels like he's still so stuck in place and doesn't give me the impression that he actually wants to do that.

One year ago when he had this conversation I gave him the benefit of the doubt, the relationship was still new, we were still young, but now two years in, I'm starting to become more attached and realising that we could very well share a life together in the future, but I'm scared that we're growing at diferent rates and that it will actually take years before he wants to live together or settle down. And honestly I would rather be single if the relationship doesn't evolve. I don't need marriage nor am I thinking about kids at all, I don't need to be in a relationship right now, I'm chosing to be in a relationship because I love him, and since we go well together, since I know I can share a life with him and be happy, why wait longer? We're gonna die oneday so I wanna spend as much time as I can with him. Knowing we can be together everyday instead of only on weekends or one day a week is a huge motivation in life for me.

I feel like this is a red flag, knowing he doesn't seem all that interested or isn't on the same page as me about this. It feels like if he got the job and started working much closer to my house, he would want to move in right away because our biggest stoplight just turned green, he would have nothing pushing him to stay. He could still see his mom everyweek like he could go there and have lunch with her or something, but saying he would still want to live there permanately just made me think I'm kinda wasting my time. Made me think that he doesn't want this as much as I do, and If he isn't willing to move in after 2 years of relationship, I don't think he's willing to to other stuff in the future, like if we ever were to get married we would be together for 10 years before he decided to propose. I would like to know that I'm with someone who's willing to do anything to be with me and who's willing to fight for us, and the way he talks about this makes it seem like he doesn't wanna do that right now. I don't know if I wanna wait around until he's willing to do that.

So I have a 6 year old cat, Maia. I recently moved out of my parent's house and took her with me, it was a big adjustement because she had a big yard to play with and recently my mom had adopted a kitten and they acted like mother/daughter...

Anywho, she had been biting for attention before I moved out, but now that we live just the two of us she has been biting a LOT more, especially at 6 am when I'm trying to get the final moments of rest before I wake up, and has also started biting my boyfriend as well when he comes over. It's not angry bites and it doesn't hurt, but it's starting to become really annoying waking up with bites.

She's a really sweet cat and had never done it when she was younger. She's also very vocal so usually when she meows I instantly go see what she wants and giver her food or let her go to the patio or give her some cuddles, but sometimes I'm doing something else like cooking or cleaning, I don't give her attention right away, and she starts nibbing on my legs and yall know how overstimulating it gets while cooking dinner and being busy and having a cat meowing and biting.

I've tried pushing her away, I've tried pretended like it hurt a lot, I've tried hissing to see if she understood in her own language that I dont like it, but nothing seems to be working and I dont wanna reach the point where I might start mistreating her out of frustration like spraying her with water or anything, as I know that can be really traumatic for cats.

What can I do in this situation? I've had dogs my whole like, If a dog bites you can teach it not to bite and they learn, but cats are so dificult to train...

So I wasn’t particularly interested in this group, but heard the songs, they sounded nice, started casually looking into news and stuff, got excited to see Ayana and wanted her to win because that would mean the group would be cohesive, interesting, talented.
Its no surprise Sakura got chosen considering how Son looked at her like a chocolate bar. It’s gross that they once again made the terrible decision to add someone to the group that lowkey brings nothing, is a minor, is so far behind the other members in skill.

It’s the friken Manon crap all over again, but even so, Manon had the audience backing her up and was overall liked, Sakura is hated rn, and it’s just gonna get worse and worse. And HxG sucks for bringing a literal child into this situation like that. Cuz the group is gonna get hate, Hxg is gonna get hate and Sakura, even if she’s literally no ones first choice, is gonna get massive hate.

Its crazy that they can absolutely make the choice the audience wants to see, and every friken time, without shame, they always make the wrong decision, starting a whole new group with controversy.

honestly and from the bottom of my heart: Fuck Hybe, Fuck Geffen, Fuck Son, Fuck Mitra. wtf.

So my father wasn't at all present in me or my siblings' lives. We were raised by my mom and it wasn't easy for many reasons (money was short, lack of emotional needs, parent fights etc.). My father essentially only did the basic court-mandated things, payed for allimony and called us weekly and used to spend a week in the summer and some 2/3 dinners per year. He left when I was 5, we used to spend every-other weekend with him but he ended up moving countries so the meetings were shorter and shorter with time. I'm the youngest and probably have the worst relationship with him, my middle sister has a better but weird relationship with him and my brother probably has around the same contact as I do.

This was just some context, but here's what i need help for:

I don''t usually give him gifts since he's never around for his bday or christmas, so I never get him anything because I eventually forget and enough time goes by that It stops being needed. But this time he invited us for his big 60 years dinner and I was thankfully raised well so I gotta give him a gift. But I have no idea what to give him given the context. I can't give him a "best dad ever mug" because that would be a lie and just weird, but I also don't feel right giving him a shower-gel pack since it feels a bit impersonal.

The second question is if I should ask my boyfriend to come with me. My father didn't invited him, though I've mentioned him before. they never met.

I would like my bf to meet him since we've been dating for 2 years and it feels like a good step in our relationship and a way to also let my bf into this hurtful part of my life, but at the same time my brother is literally having a baby with his gf of 1 year and I don't think he's told our father that he's having the baby and idek if my father knows he's dating and living together with this girl. I'm saying this because idk if this is the type of situation where I should be introducing my boyfriend, or if it's too soon for the type of relationship my father and i have.
I want to do this for my relationship but at the same time I'm scared it's too soon for this.

Internet parents, please help?

So my bfs (m23) birthday is coming up and I'm casually thinking about what to gift him, and thought about a new office/gaming chair, since his chair is literlaly from 1990 and is constantly descending, making him need to pull it up again.
I'm just afraid that this gift might be too specific and maybe he wants to chose his own chair? Should I gift him this, or should I include him in the choice? I really don't like including people in the gift since it takes away the surprise..

Does anyone know a chair good enough that anyone will want it, ergonomic but cool, handy etc.?