(I don't have an onlyfans, he was shouting it to many people)
Five minutes later, long after we'd passed him, I yelled to a confused street "How did you recognise me with shoes on?"
(a sorta-true story, expanded from a comment in another thread the other day)
Before Nibor became a Priest, he was indentured for a number of weeks as a Temporary Administrative Scribe at the Council-chambers of an exceedingly average City. The councilmasters put him to work in the Internal Forms Department, a magnificent subterranean Temple to Bureaucracy where all the Forms needed to pretend to run an exceedingly average City were stored in a Great Hall of Filing Cabinets, lining the sides of a deep corridor of some hundred cubits’ journey. There were Forms for Hiring and Termination, Forms for Requesting Office Supplies, and Forms for the Creation of New Forms: xeroxes of xeroxes of xeroxes, their Ancestry descended back through the Ages unto some distant Eden wherein were created the First of All Forms. And the greatest of all the Forms was Form RF-001, the Form Requisition Form.
Oftentimes, some superior Scribe from another Faction of the Council-chambers would approach the Desk of Nibor, and speak thusly: “Can I have some more Handy Adhesive Notes?” (or some similar Material or Clerical Desire.)
To which Nibor would reply: “Certainly. Submit thou Form RF-523, Handy Adhesive Notes Requisition Form” (or whatsoever the appropriate Form), “and we shall Sort Thee Out for Handy Adhesive Notes” (or whatsoever the Scribe desireth.)
And if the Scribe replied, “But alack! I have no such Handy Adhesive Notes Requisition Forms to hand,” Nibor would further beseech them: “Then submit thou Form RF-001, Form Requisition Form, and we shall Sort Thee Out for Forms.”
And so it went on until it came to pass one day that a Scribe, wailing and gnashing his teeth, exclaimed unto Nibor: “Woe is me! For in my entire Subdivision of my Faction of the Council-chambers there are no Form Requisition Forms! Without these, how do I express any Material or Clerical Desire? For the Form Requisition Form is itself a species or instance of the form ‘Form’, and cannot be itself Requisitioned in Its own Absence! And with no Form Requisition Forms, how shall I ask thee for the appropriate Form upon which to express my Material or Clerical Desire?”
This Nibor pondered for many hours, then decreed: “I shall give thee a Form Requisition Form.” And taking the Keys to the Filing Cabinets, he opened the Drawer concerned and handed a copy of Form RF-001 unto the Scribe, though the Scribe had formally Requisitioned it not. And nothing bad happened.
Presently, the Scribe completed and returned the Form Requisition Form, and Nibor obliged the Scribe with a Handy Adhesive Notes Requisition Form; and this the Scribe again completed and returned unto Nibor, who furnished the Scribe with a Pack of 50 x Handy Adhesive Notes. But though the Business of the City continued, Nibor was troubled, for a Form had been issued without the appropriate Supplication. Nibor meditated five days and nights upon these happenings.
On the fifth night the Minion of Eris, Saint Monkey, appeared and spake unto Nibor: “It were Quicker, Efficienter and Coster-Effectiver hadst thou merely given the Scribe the Handy Adhesive Notes Requisition Form with no need for a Form Requisition Form thereof.” To which Nibor responded: “Then were it Efficienter Still had I given him the Handy Adhesive Notes, and neither Form coming in to the matter.” And Saint Monkey said: “That is so.”
The next day in the Council-chambers, Nibor spake to his Overseer of this Great Discovery. For what a Great Discovery it was! If the Form Requisition Forms could be handed out without formal Supplication, then so could any other Form; and so indeed could Office Supplies, or personnel, or any Material or Clerical Desire! Why, NONE of the Holy Forms were in fact the least bit necessary! All could be removed from their Drawers and folded into Paper Aeroplanes or Origami Cats! The Great Hall of Filing Cabinets could be repurposed into a Room of Games and Slacking Off, and all the Scribes and Overseers of the Forms Department freed to quit their Offices, emerge from the subterrenes, and Go Play in the Sunshine! The Scribes of Other Departments could simply GET THEIR OWN DAMN POST-IT NOTES, and none would be any the worse off; indeed, the City Council would run faster, smoother and cheaper than ever. Why, the Citizens' taxes could even be lowered!
Whereupon Nibor’s contract with the Council-chambers was terminated, and Nibor was a little more Enlightened.
The image is Edward Burne-Jones's The Feast of Peleus (c. 1890), which contains IMO the greatest pre-Discordian image of Eris ever perpetrated. I have it on my wall and I change the speechbubbles occasionally. They're cut out of various comics that turn up in charity shops and so on, I think the oldest is from the 1950s or 60s.
I don't know how readable this will be once Reddit messes with the resolution, so here's what all the bubbles say at the moment. I'm not 100% on who the various deities and other wedding-goers figures are so these are my best guesses.
PELEUS: Mmm... I can enjoy a bowl of chocolatey Nesquik.
(Caption) BUT SUDDENLY:
APHRODITE: Say! What's going ON over there?
PASSING CENTAUR: What 'n tarnation?
ATHENA: YOU! What do you think YOU'RE doing?
FATE #1: No... no! It's IMPOSSIBLE! I'm dreaming--or LOSING MY MIND!
FATE #2: Ooo! Menace alert!
FATE #3: It's heading this way! It's going to crash INTO ME!!
HERA: You have no authority here! Now leave this zone before we--
ZEUS: I told you to stay out of this! Scoot!
SOMEONE WHO APPEARS TO BE WRAPPED IN BANDAGES AND BEING EATEN BY A GIANT RAVEN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IT IS: It... it can't be! It's IMPOSSIBLE!
PERSON NEXT TO THEM WHO I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS EITHER: It's probably just a friendly greeting.
NAKED GUY HELPING THE FATES WITH THEIR TAPESTRY: No! No! Leave it!
APOLLO, I'M PRETTY SURE: Except... that gold!
MERCURY: It's a special treat!
THE APPLE: [Batman "POW" style caption] *** ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION ***
WOMAN IN RED, I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS EITHER: What ARE you, woman? A secret weapon of our enemies?
SERVING-CENTAUR CARRYING PILLOWS (OK THEY'RE PROBABLY WINESKINS, BUT PILLOWS ARE FUNNIER): Oo-er! Don't like this!
DIONYSUS: Can't you do something more ladylike?
THETIS: I thought you said she was nicer when she vamps out?
ERIS: Grr! I'll fix you! I'll wipe the smile off your face! Nothing must stand in my way! NOTHING! I'll do it! I'm just itching to teach those jokers a lesson! FOOL! You should have finished me when you had half a chance... which is all you get!
(Any help identifying the unidentified guests would be welcome!)
The Jeffreycombs, if you will
Plus ça change or whatever.
I'm a level 30 Barbarian with Cleaver, Sunsword, Stormbringer, Trollsbane, blue DSM, fireproof WW boots, CoMR, helm of warning and gauntlets of dexterity. I've got the Bell, Book and Candelabrum stashed on the vibrating square. I have six (6) candles.
I THOUGHT I had 7 candles put aside in a chest in Sokoban. I do not. All the other candles I have polypiled. (The stash of 7 was probably in my first BoH, and I must have got mixed up after I blew it up. Keeping a separate BoH named "golfbag" for my weapons seemed like a good idea at the time.) Izchak's, Vlad's, the Mines, all out.
I have been to literally every dungeon level, twice I think, mugging everyone I can see, looking for either a seventh candle or a wand of polymorph so I can polypile for candles. No dice.
The castle wand, Vlad's throne, and two (2) magic lamps' worth of wishes have been used up on trivial things like armour and magic markers. I have plenty of supplies of almost everything else. Smoky potions are booze, but I flushed the contents of the Wine Cellar for holy water and I don't have any more. There might be a few fountains left on the upper levels, just in case I get lucky with a water demon, I suppose.
Failing that, do I just have to trudge around until I get lucky? Is there anywhere that is particularly likely to yield a candle or /oP? (I hung out in the Gnomish Mines for a bit and didn't find a single gnome, I think I'm too high level for them to be generated, alas.)
Any suggestions?
I like to add silly little tricks to my games sometimes, 'side quests' if you like: make a set of tins of all the colours of dragon, or collect all the shopkeepers' skeleton keys, or in this case, get the cursed rings of invisibility from all nine Nazgul.
In my current game, there's a statue of a Nazgul on Medusa's Island, and sure enough, when broken apart, it contained a cursed ring of Invisibility as well as a long sword and a knife. Checking Nethackwiki, I see that these statues are generated with the inventories associated with their monster types, but I take it they don't check extinction, or count against it? Meaning that in this game, if all nine (un)living Nazguls get generated, I could end up taking ten rings of power to the Astral Bar. Tada, I guess?
Is it me or is the Astral Plane harder than it used to be?
These bastards have set up some sort of stage that looks like a viral game show or something. They "offer" you the chance to win a prize by watching a 3 minute video. They were extremely evasive about what the video was about. It's footage of animals being killed in slaughterhouses. Then the bastards film your reaction to it (they do not tell people they're doing this.)
I sat nearby and loudly informed everyone they approached of this for 5 minutes, till my cat got bored. If anyone else wants to take a shift, please go ahead
edit: hi mods. I'm guessing from the number of "shares" and the fact that I can't see this post unless I'm logged in that it's been shared around and reported by the weirdos. If it's actually against group rules, sorry, although I don't think it is. If you just can't be having with it, that's understood too. At least the time they spend downvoting this and anyone who comments supportively is time they aren't spending harassing people in the park. Cheers.
Oh cool, I didn't know there was an eighth one
...because Vlad's throne can now take away all your intrinsic protection.
"You feel vulnerable. The throne somehow seems to be amused."
This leaves my AC at a paltry -34.
Once I've pumped the whole of Ludios into a temple priest, if I'm Chaotic and they're not, I tend to murder them for their robes and spellbooks, and to get my money back so I can donate it somewhere else. Apart from the temples in Mine Town and the Valley of the Dead, there are no other attended temples in my game (unless they can be randomly generated in Gehennom now? I doubt it.) I had 11 or 12 points of AC. I'm crowned, so getting it back through prayer will take thousands of turns. I know the turn undead spell but the priests' corpses will be long rotted.
I don't suppose either a) a temples can be restaffed with a figurine of an aligned priest (not that I've got one - I'd need to get a bonus wish somehow), or b) the High Priest of Moloch accepts donations?
Is anyone else getting sick of the levels being taken over by Remembered Unseen Creatures? Especially when you have clairvoyance... look at this nonsense:
It's at least a bug that clairvoyance doesn't get rid of the existing I's when you detect a bunch more, since you're supposedly being given insight as to where the monsters are and aren't. For example, those houses that are full of I's on every space almost certainly contain exactly one (1) gnome; they've just been in different spots each time my clairvoyance kicked in.
Is there a way to get rid of them all at once? ^R to redraw the screen doesn't do it. Or even an option to stop them being there in the first place? At the very least, if you knew that an I represented a visible creature - as you do a lot of the time - it should disappear when you have a line of sight to that space. AFAICT the only way to get rid of them is to 'm'ove through them (just stepping into them wastes a turn "attacking thin air"), and even that is likely to waste several turns if you weren't walking that way anyway.
If such a command (or option, or whatever) doesn't exist, and a friendly dev or patchy person is reading this, can we have one?
In 5.0.0, the shopkeepers address me as 'hir' when I pick up unpaid items. It was 'sir' or 'lady' in 3.6. Is this a deliberately nongendered greeting (I've seen it as an objective pronoun, but not as a form of address) (even though my character's gender is set to male), a typo, or something else?
Been a fan for 30+ years, got as far as Fifth Elephant in my current full series readthrough, and I just noticed that "Uberwald" means roughly the same thing as "Transylvania": over/beyond the woods.
