u/madman1255

It leaves on October 25th, how devastating 😔

One of few shows that I rewatch and enjoy often

Rip talamasca you are suffering another L

I forgot how good it feels to throw on a CD, I'm surprised this dvd player still works, had it since like 2008 only works when it's plugged in lol

Sound quality is bad but it adds to the experience I missed this, gonna pull out the rest my CDs from the attic so I can start putting them on more regularly

Ah how I missed using physical media

I'm actually so desperate for this show to come back but I don't want have an ounce of hope if it doesn't happen but then they posted that reel and I'm like 👀👀👀 is there hope after all or are they just being mean 🤣

Was asked why don't I do weight lifting bulk up as that's typically what butch's "do"

Like sorry?? While I do want to bulk up and have more muscles I cannot afford to do that right now. I cannot afford the extra food I'd need or the new clothes for when I need to up size, nor can I afford a gym membership

Pilates seems like the next best thing for me, focus on slimming and toning, ect I know I won't build the physic I want but I can revisit that once I have a job

I don't like how I had my identity questioned because it didn't fit into this person's view of how butches should apparently be

Trying to verify myself by a selfie and it's not working, I cleared my cach, I signed in on the web but when I try to use webcam it says I need to use the mobile app to verify myself. I go back into the app and try again and it comes up with "something went wrong"

Only thing so far that's come out of is I've realized how ugly I actually am by these selfies I took 🤣

"winter arc" when it starts in the autumn (fall) and ends ten days into winter I have never understood it lol why not just call it fall arc considering it takes place most of fall

Can't call it winter if the challenge itself is meant to end on Dec 31st that's only ten days into winter lol

I don't understand it maybe I'm just dumb

That you either follow along to do at home workouts or just watch for motivation/inspiration

My laptop did an update last night, and deleted all my apps. And one of the apps that got deleted was my notes app that I used to write my fanfiction on.

I was working on 4 stories, two was almost complete the other two I was about half way. And I was really proud of one of them that was almost done. It's all gone, months of writing and re writing and tweaking just gone.

I'm so angry and upset, I have memory issues so I can't even re-write them back to the same standard because I am struggling to recall everything I wrote previously because it's been something I have been working on for several months.

The update told me this wouldn't happen unless I signed on manually to continue getting the updates and it still did it.

I want to cry I'm so angry

My normal baseline of depression doesn't stop my tics, but when it gets bad (to the point of considering something) my tourettes completely vanished. I haven't had a single tic In two weeks because of how bad my depression has gotten

What's the reason for this?? Is it lack of dopamine/energy? I've pretty much been in bed these last two weeks haven't had the energy or motivation to get up

It's so twisted, it's either remaine severely depressed and be tic free or try and fix the depression and have to deal with severe tics/tourettes

I really want to see him perform but I can't find anything on where to stream it (if it's even going live for those at home??)

Monday night I attempted, nothing out of the ordinary happened I was just putting clean bedding on and I just stopped and started going through with an attempt, I didn't think about it I didn't plan it nor did I have an urge I just did it.

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And if it wasn't for my neice I likely wouldn't be here now, half through it I realized it would be my neice who would find me in the morning and I couldn't do that to her she's only 6 she doesn't deserve to be exposed to that so I stopped the attempt and carried on putting my bedding on

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It's Wednesday now and I think it's just starting to hit me with what I did, I feel like I need to cry I can't comprehend that I was actually attempting I can't stop thinking about it like ...I was just doing my usual weekly bed change one moment and the next moment I was trying to end it

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I'm also feeling extremely irritable idk if that's an after effect of what happened, but I'm not gonna lie it's scary what if it happens again and this time my neice isn't the thing that stops or pulls me out of it. Because I wasn't panicking during it I made peace with what I was doing even when the effects of what I was doing started I was content to just go

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Please I hope I'm not alone in this happening

My family doesn't know I don't know if I'll tell them

Just needed to get this off my chest

The whole day Saturday I felt a seizure brewing I seriously thought I was going to have one

I ended up having a nap in the evening to try and see if sleeping would get rid of the feeling like I was about to have one.

I got up a few hours later

That night I was downstairs saying goodnight to my mum then I'm waking up on top of my bed wearing the clothes I had on the previous day

I have no memory of leaving the front room, walking up stairs, entering my room or getting on my bed

The only thing I remember was giving my mum a hug goodnight then I was waking up Sunday morning

My back was sore but I'm pretty sure that was because of the awkward position I passed out in all night, as I was laying on top of my cushions and whatnot rather than because of a seizure

I'm just confused I don't know what caused that or why it happened but it isn't the first time this has happened a few times in the past, there's been times where the whole evening/night has been wiped or times like this were only a portion has been wiped

I guess it's possible I had a small seizure between saying goodnight and going upstairs, but I genuinely have no memory so idk

Was feeling exhausted today and ended up having an all day nap, during the nap I had several vivid dreams that I was having a seizure

I woke up to pick my neice up from school and I noticed that my left leg hurts (didn't hurt this morning when I got up)

I have no other sign that I might have had a seizure apart from the dreams (that felt so real) and the leg pain that I still have two hours later