u/mbowishkah

As it says... basically, I keep going from one toxic workplace to another.

I have been at my new job for only 4 months now. The interview was amazing. It was so different to any other interview I've had. I felt so reassured, so positive, and so happy. It only took 2 weeks in the role for me to realise I was amongst a shit tonne of toxic people.

Only difference? My managers aren't toxic. My staff are... I manage two group homes for people with disabilities, and one of the homes is the most toxic workplace I've ever seen in my life. Like honestly, THE worst.

It didn't take me long to realise my staff hate me, for literally no reason. No workers from other homes want to work at that house. They always refuse, because the house has been toxic since forever.

Whether I'm nice, mean, or indifferent, they don't care. They're gossiping about me (and each other) even after being spoken to about gossip/code of conduct. Making up lies about me (and each other). And setting me up... they'll report things to me, I'll deal with it, and then the people who reported it to me (anon to others) will bag me out saying that I'm pretty?

My boss is lovely, but she keeps telling me not to worry about what they say and to let it slide. How can I? If the tables were turned, I'd be in a HR meeting.

I'm sick to death of it. Ive genuinely had enough. I haven't been to that second house for like a month because of this, and they're STILL talking about me. There's also been jabs at my age because I'm younger than their previous managers (who they also hated btw).

The disrespect is wild. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm sick of leaving jobs. I have been looking at what's out there, and the jobs are shit at the moment. As I said, I'm sick of hopping anyway.

Are there no normal workplaces? Why can't people just be fucking normal?

I'm struggling because in the real world, if this was happening to me, I'd confront and I'd rage. But I obviously cant do that. I'm at a loss. I want to scream. I keep falling into dark depression because of this shit.

Context:

In australia. Only started a few months ago and already seeing the toxicity. They don't care about mental health caused by burnout and everything else, so I've realised how much I need to fake how well everything is going.

I have a state manager who is a pain in my ass. When I reached out to her for help with toxic staff, she pretty much told me to get over it and get out; and they need someone strong, not someone who does half the job. Side note - they hired me to clean up the last manager's absolutely atrocious, chaotic mess. So that's pretty ridiculous.

I'm still on probation so I've been stressed out. I've had a few days of leave due to illness and bereavement. And although everything is going well at the minute, and my mid probation review went well, I'm still convinced she is trying to fuck me over and will make some shit up to get rid of me at the end of probation.

Incident:

Today, I slipped at work and hurt my lower back. I've got sharp, jolting pains. I let her know and she allowed me to leave, and told me to go to the GP asap. I got in tomorrow.

I've had a workplace injury elsewhere, and I have a feeling my GP will give me time off, so I'm freaking out. I'm considering just asking him to write up modified duties, I.e. working from home, if he agrees.

What should I do? Can they fuck me over for hurting myself because of THEIR worn out stairs? Can they say no to wfh with a GP letter/certificate of capacity?

I'm freaking out. Any advice would be great. Thanks a lot

RANT!!!

I just finished season 12, and honestly, I want to jump inside the TV and flip a table on her (that's putting it lightly).

Genuinely, what the actual hell is wrong with her? What is the obsession with blaming Marge for everything?

Side note: I've already seen The Last Supper S14, so I know who was actually in contact with Luis' ex.

BUT, whyyyyyyy is it always Marge? I absolutely adore Marge. Even the last episode of S14, she finds out who it was and that they lied, and she STILL blame Marge. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!

Other than that, why doesn't Teresa EVER listen? EVEEEEEER. She is such a freaking gaslighter. Putting Joe Gorga down and then doubling down that she "swears" she wasn't putting him down. Then the douchebag forgives her.

I mean, how many times can someone tell you who they are before you cut them off? Family or not. She is freaking insane and I can't handle her.

Her and red lobster are made for each other. There's pebbles between those ears.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Hi everyone. I'm still very new to this term, not realising what it was until I started EMDR. I used to dissociate a lot, but I think I'm currently in derealisation, but I'm not 100% sure. I also don't know what to do - my therapy strategies aren't working.

Over the weekend, out of nowhere, a major depression came over me. I'm currently struggling a lot. For the last 3 days, it just feels like nothing is real. I go through periods like this, but it's really intense this time.

My house doesn't feel like that cosy warm safe haven it usually is. My hobbies aren't fulfilling my needs. I feel numb - almost like my mind and body are not connected. I almost feel like I'm in a simulation. I know logically my surroundings are real, but it still doesn't feel... "real".

I struggle so much to describe this feeling; and I also hate feeling this way. I don't even want to exist - like even just seeing and thinking hurts my head.

I just feel absolute doom.

Is this derealisation? What has worked for you to come out of it? My therapy appt isnt for another 2 wks.

Thank you in advance.

I'm watching a show, and the girl's name is Cerenati (Serenity). It took me like 5 minutes to work out wtf the name was when I saw it. Why? WHY?

Hello everyone. I wish we all "met" under different circumstances.

I've been dismissed for years by doctors and incompetent Gynaes (one told me I have PCOS, and I don't).

Anyway, someone ended up recommending a specialist at a women specific clinic. I told myself this would be the absolute last attempt at finding out what on earth is going on with my body. Long story short, she has been nothing short of amazing. The first doctor to do actual and proper testing on me.

I finally got my answer.... early perimenopause. What a bitter-sweet moment. I'm happy because my feeling of having hormonal issues has been validated. All the issues I went to doctors for have finally been validated. But, I'm scared at the same time.

I don't have children. I'm 95% sure I want to at some point (I'm single but have thought hard for years about sperm donation), but I definitely don't want the option taken away from me.

I have a scan to check my eggs in a couple of weeks; and then I'm seeing a fertility specialist 2 days later.

Is there anyone around my age here? I feel so alone. I could understand if I was mid 30s, but I'm only 31. I know women even younger can experience this, I just don't know any...

Side note: I found out not long ago that there's a connection with ADHD, which I have. I am also on 2mg of oestrogen daily, as well as progesterone. It's helping a bit, but not a massive difference yet.

Thank you.

The older I get, the more I question wtf this life is.

I'm in my 30s, and it's getting harder and harder to face the fact that I have another 30+ years of this.

38hrs+ a week. 5 days a week. Being paid decently, but certainly not enough for what I do. What *we* do. It's just slave labour at this point.

How tf can the world justify 8+ hours a day of work, 5 days a week, and a measly 2 days off for "leisure"?

I'm so done. I'm genuinely struggling with this shit. And because of inflation and how difficult it is to survive, even on a "good" wage, I feel like I can't find something that makes me happy.

If I was in a position to, I would work part time, and I would go back to hospitality, or maybe even work in retail. Jobs where you mostly leave your work *at work*. But no, it's fucking impossible because I can't survive on less than what I am now.

I'm struggling something shocking. I hate my damn industry, I'm sick of being a slave, and all I want sooooo badly is to love where I spend most of my life.

Fts.