u/meatfrappe

I live in a nice neighborhood where a bunch of us are friendly with each other. One of my neighbors, Mike, has a pool, and today he invited me and a few other neighbors over for a little pool day. Music, beer, wine, pool floats. Everything you need for a nice suburban pool day.

At one point, another neighbor was walking her dog past Mike’s house. His pool is mostly behind the house, but you can see part of it from the street, so we waved and yelled hello. She waved back, and we invited her to come join us. She said sure, came through the gate, and pretty soon someone had handed her a glass of wine.

About ten minutes later she realized her husband Dave might be worried that she was taking so long to return, as her dog walk was becoming an extended expedition.

She said, “Hey, Meatfrappe, I don’t have my phone. Can you just text Dave real quick and tell him I stopped at Mike’s for a glass of wine?”

“Sure.”

So I pulled out my phone and texted Dave:

“Hey FYI your wife is over at Mike’s house having some wine.”

Then I put my phone down, jumped into the pool, climbed onto a floatie chair, and spent the next hour drinking beers and enjoying my afternoon. Eventually I got out and picked up my phone to check the time. I had about a dozen messages from Dave.

Except… to my horror...

Not the correct Dave.

I had texted a completely different Dave in my contacts with a very similar last name. Think “Dave Smith” versus “Dave Smithers.”

And unfortunately, Wrong Dave apparently knew several people named Mike.

Even more unfortunately, his wife was also out of the house running errands at that exact moment.

And even more unfortunately than that, Wrong Dave apparently already had some concerns about how friendly his wife might be with one particular Mike.

So while I had been peacefully floating around drinking beer, this man had been experiencing the worst hour of his marriage.

Wrong Dave's texts went something like:

“WTF? She said she was going to Walmart and the library.”

“How do you know? Thanks though.”

A few minutes later:

“I called her and she didn’t pick up.”

Then:

“She called me back and is claiming she’s at Walmart. Can you see her with Mike? Can you take a picture and send it to me?”

Then:

“I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.”

Then:

“Dude what the fuck?”

And, just to complete the experience, I had also received a text from Wrong Dave’s Wife:

“Why the fuck are you making up shit about me?!”

I stared at the screen for a few seconds as my soul left my body.

Then I immediately texted both of them:

“My bad. I texted the wrong Dave by mistake. Meant to text Dave Smithers. Sorry for the confusion.”

At that point I decided the most responsible course of action was to grab two beers, get back in the pool, and try to avoid the universe for a while.

When I finally checked again later, there was about a 45-minute gap in the conversation Then one final message from Wrong Dave:

“You have no idea how much shit you have caused.”

For what it’s worth, Correct Dave apparently never even noticed that his wife’s dog walk had taken longer than usual.

TL;DR: Neighbor asked me to text her husband that she had stopped at Mike’s house for a glass of wine. I texted the wrong husband, who apparently already suspected his own wife of something involving a different Mike. Accidentally may have detonated somebody else’s marriage while I floated around in a pool drinking beer.

I’m currently planning a March 2027 northbound thru-hike, with the goal of becoming the first person to complete the Appalachian Trail while eating only food purchased from Burger King.

To be clear, I plan to rely exclusively on Burger King items that I purchase in bulk from Burger Kings close to the trail. I’ll pack and carry these with me until I reach the next BK resupply.

I’ve mapped Burger King locations throughout the 14 trail states. Some sections appear surprisingly manageable, particularly in the Mid-Atlantic. Other sections will require much more careful planning and potentially carrying substantial quantities of Whoppers at one time. For example, after stopping at the BK in Farmington, Maine, more than 100 miles of trail remain in what could only be described as a Whopper desert. I expect to purchase and pack 47 double Whoppers with cheese for this section (9 days x 5500 calories per day / 1060 calories per burger = 47 burgers.) Fontana Dam to Davenport Gap and Franconia Notch through the Presidential Range toward Gorham will be similarly challenging BK gaps.

I understand that long-term food safety is probably the biggest obstacle. I am planning to use an insulated food pack combined with chemical heat packs similar to disposable skiing hand warmers. My thinking is that, with enough insulation, I should be able to keep the Whoppers/fries/onion rings/etc. within a reasonably safe temperature range for several days. I may also rotate the items inside the pack so that the ones closest to the heat packs do not become overly warm.

Also, I plan to gradually build up a tolerance to room-temperature fast food between now and March 2027. I’m going to start by making at least 50% of my diet consist of various two- to three-day-old fast-food items stored at room temperature. I’ll begin with fries and chicken nuggets before transitioning to burgers with mayonnaise.

I am looking for recommendations regarding insulated packs (ideally bear-resistant). So far I have not found anything that would suit my needs.

Any recommendations for chemical heat packs?

Also, what are your thoughts on using DoorDash or UberEats with regard to this being a supported hike rather than self-supported? My intention is to do the hike self-supported, but in many locations it would be far more practical for me to have my Burger King order delivered to me at a trailhead rather than me hiking or arranging a ride into town. Would the delivery car count as a support vehicle?

Finally, do you know of anyone else who has previously completed (or attempted) a single-restaurant thru-hike?

I recognize that this will add weight, expense, and gastrointestinal complexity to an already difficult hike. However, I believe the Appalachian Trail is ultimately about testing your limits, adapting to adversity, and having the courage to try new things.

Thank you in advance for the advice!

2026 FBS Long Snapper Rankings & Possible Spirit Animals

Tier 1

These are the strongest projected FBS long snappers entering 2026. They have the best combination of national recognition, documented performance, starting experience, specialist evaluations, and evidence of reliability under pressure.

Tier / Rank	Long Snapper	Team	Class	Jersey #	Projected Spirit Animal	Ranking Justification
Tier 1 / #1	Ben Anderson	Oklahoma	RS SR	49	Andean condor	A 2025 Patrick Mannelly Award semifinalist, Anderson owns the strongest national recognition among the projected 2026 starters and combines proven accuracy with high-level experience.
Tier 1 / #2	Bennett Brady	Tennessee	RS SR	48	Bennett's tree kangaroo	Brady enters 2026 with a documented record of successful college snaps and elite specialist-camp credentials, making him one of the safest projections in the country.
Tier 1 / #3	Alan Soukup	Minnesota	JR	80	Sooke salmon	Soukup pairs heavy 2025 snap volume and All-Big Ten recognition with a former No. 1 Kohl’s recruiting evaluation, giving him both production and pedigree.
Tier 1 / #4	Luke Raab	Purdue	RS SO/TR	46	Rabbit	Raab handled 94 special-teams snaps, made three tackles and earned All-Big Ten honorable mention in 2025, a résumé that supports an elite preseason grade.
Tier 1 / #5	Walker Himebauch	Colorado State	SR/TR	56	Himalayan woodpecker	Himebauch has extensive starting experience, prior SEC freshman recognition and a 2026 preseason all-conference selection, making him one of the most accomplished returning options.
Tier 1 / #6	Christian Epling	Virginia Tech	RS SR	96	Eel	Epling’s Patrick Mannelly Award watch-list recognition and veteran Power-conference experience give him a strong blend of consistency and tested performance.
Tier 1 / #7	Adam Booker	Miami	RS SR/TR	46	Book scorpion	Booker was nationally recognized on the Mannelly watch list and brings substantial experience into a high-pressure Miami special-teams operation.
Tier 1 / #8	Drew Clausen	Indiana	RS SR/TR	49	Clawson's lark	Clausen earned Mannelly watch-list recognition before transferring to Indiana, suggesting nationally respected accuracy and operation speed.
Tier 1 / #9	Dylan Black	USC	RS SR/TR	46	Black panther	Black’s Mannelly watch-list résumé and experience before transferring to USC make him a proven option with the tools to thrive in a demanding program.
Tier 1 / #10	Morgan Tribbett	SMU	RS JR/TR	48	Trilobite beetle	Tribbett’s Mannelly watch-list selection and Power-conference experience indicate dependable snaps across both punt and place-kick operations.
Tier 1 / #11	Shea Freibaum	Texas A&M	RS JR/TR	31	Shearwater	Freibaum arrives at Texas A&M with previous Mannelly watch-list recognition, giving him a stronger national profile than most transfer long snappers.
Tier 1 / #12	David Bird	California	SR/TR	45	Bird	Bird earned Mannelly watch-list recognition while operating in Alabama’s highly scrutinized special-teams unit, an excellent indicator of reliability under pressure.
Tier 1 / #13	Blaise Sokach-Minnick	Penn State	RS SR	35	Minnow	Sokach-Minnick’s preseason All-Big Ten recognition and development at Penn State make him one of the more credible high-end returning projections.
Tier 1 / #14	Trey Dubuc	Texas	RS JR/TR	47	Duiker	Dubuc brings a full season of starting experience and was recruited by Texas as an established solution, giving him both production and a strong role projection.
Tier 1 / #15	Cole Marszalek	Kentucky	RS JR/TR	40	Marsh deer	Marszalek earned first-team All-Conference USA honors before transferring to Kentucky, providing clear recent evidence of above-average college performance.
Tier 1 / #16	RJ Todd	Oregon	RS SR/TR	71	Toad	Todd has multiple seasons of starting experience and was targeted by Oregon through the portal, signaling confidence in his accuracy and game readiness.
Tier 1 / #17	Kaden Schickel	Vanderbilt	GR/TR	54	Chicken	Schickel combines major-conference starting experience with a five-star specialist background, giving him a high ceiling if fully healthy.
Tier 1 / #18	Will Snellings	Georgia	RS JR	39	Willow ptarmigan	Snellings was developed as an elite prospect inside Georgia’s nationally successful long-snapping pipeline, though he has less full-season evidence than the veterans above him.
Tier 1 / #19	Aiden Arias	NC State	RS JR	92	Arius butterfly	Arias already has meaningful ACC game experience on field-goal and extra-point units, giving him a solid foundation for a larger 2026 role.
Tier 1 / #20	Patrick Mahoney III	Illinois	RS JR	44	Honey badger	Mahoney handled Illinois’ place-kick snaps throughout 2025, making him a dependable Power-conference returner even with less documented punt-snapping evidence.

Tier 2

These players project as strong, upper-tier FBS long snappers. Most are experienced veterans with established college résumés, and many have already demonstrated the maturity and consistency required to handle high-pressure special-teams operations.

Tier	Long Snapper	Team	Class	Jersey #	Projected Spirit Animal
Tier 2	Alex Rozier	Alabama	GR	44	Roseate spoonbill
Tier 2	Carter Milliron	Florida	RS SR/TR	39	Millipede
Tier 2	Nico Crawford	Michigan	RS SR/TR	49	Crawfish
Tier 2	Dalton Riggs	Ohio State	RS SR/TR	48	Ridgeback
Tier 2	Caleb Bowers	Florida State	RS SR/TR	48	Bowerbird
Tier 2	Ronnie Thomas	Georgia Tech	RS SR/TR	49	Tomcat
Tier 2	Hudson Powell	Auburn	RS SR/TR	49	Powelliphanta snail
Tier 2	Walker Adkinson	Florida Atlantic	GR/TR	45	Walking catfish
Tier 2	Brett Le Blanc	Missouri	SR	49	White tiger
Tier 2	Salem Abdul-Wahab	UCLA	RS SR/TR	50	Salem black cat
Tier 2	Ryan Kean	Washington	RS SR/TR	33	Kean's antelope
Tier 2	Grayson Curtis	Arizona State	RS SR/TR	43	Gray wolf
Tier 2	Eli Stein	Cincinnati	RS SR/TR	48	Steinbok
Tier 2	Jack Carson-Wentz	Houston	RS SR/TR	64	Carson's mud turtle
Tier 2	Rino Monteforte	Kansas	RS SR/TR	39	Rhino

Tier 3

These players project as above-average FBS starters. They generally bring substantial experience, including transfers who have already competed elsewhere, but have slightly less individual recognition or documented performance evidence than the players in the top two tiers.

Tier	Long Snapper	Team	Class	Jersey #	Potential Spirit Animal
Tier 3	Peyton Warford	Stanford	RS SR/TR	93	Warthog
Tier 3	Caden Kellow	Boise State	RS SR/TR	61	Kelp crab
Tier 3	David LaGanga	Connecticut	RS SR/TR	59	Ganges river dolphin
Tier 3	Michael O'Connor	Rutgers	RS SR	99	Connemara pony
Tier 3	Jack Yates	Duke	RS SR	27	Yeti crab
Tier 3	Nick Duzansky	Michigan State	RS JR/TR	88	Dzungarian hamster
Tier 3	Gannon Burt	North Carolina	RS JR/TR	48	Burrowing owl
Tier 3	Don Volante III	South Florida	RS SR/TR	34	Flying fox
Tier 3	Aidan Fedigan	Tulsa	RS SR/TR	42	Fennec fox
Tier 3	Logan Castor	Utah	RS SR	44	Beaver
Tier 3	Macguire Moss	West Virginia	RS SR	38	Mossy frog
Tier 3	Parker Stone	Appalachian State	RS SR/TR	34	Stonefish
Tier 3	Gus Goodell	Kent State	GR	41	Goose
Tier 3	Hunter Sims	Louisiana	RS SR/TR	48	Simian
Tier 3	CJ Anderson	North Dakota State	RS SR/TR	48	Andean fox
Tier 3	Ross Pedro	Northern Illinois	RS SR/TR	44	Rockhopper penguin
Tier 3	Anthony Zaccaro	South Alabama	RS SR/TR	42	Zebra
Tier 3	Tyson Jacobson	UNLV	RS SR/TR	47	Yak
Tier 3	Wyatt Freeman	Wake Forest	SR/TR	48?	Free-tailed bat
Tier 3	Greg Rivera	Liberty	RS SR/TR	41	River otter
Tier 3	Carson Whitington	Sam Houston	RS SR/TR	46	White-tailed deer
Tier 3	Jackson Wheeler	Georgia Southern	RS SR	89	Wheel bug
Tier 3	Ean Burch	Louisiana Tech	RS SR	41	Birch mouse
Tier 3	Josh Hancock	UTEP	RS SR	39	Hancock's porcupinefish
Tier 3	Adam Johnston	Arkansas	RS JR/TR	51	Johnston's crocodile
Tier 3	Caden Britton	Ball State	RS SR	45	British bulldog
Tier 3	Ben Pratt	Central Michigan	RS SR	30	Pratt's leaf-nosed bat
Tier 3	Connor Dougherty	Middle Tennessee	RS SR	54	Conure
Tier 3	AJ Campos	San Jose State	SR/TR	44	Campo flicker
Tier 3	Emmet Rhoades	South Carolina	RS JR/TR	48	Roadrunner
Tier 3	Nathan Curry	Wyoming	SR/TR	49	Curlew
Tier 3	Owen Walter	Army	SR	55	Water buffalo
Tier 3	Rayne Fry	Navy	SR	92	Flying fish
Tier 3	Drew Nicolson	Arizona	RS JR/TR	43	Nile crocodile
Tier 3	Caden Yates	Oklahoma State	RS JR/TR	42	Yapok

Tier 4

These players project as solid and dependable FBS starters. They typically possess useful college experience or were highly ranked in high school and should provide reliable snapping, although their résumés contain fewer standout honors, national evaluations, or clearly documented high-level performances.

Tier	Long Snapper	Team	Class	Jersey #	Projected Spirit Animal
Tier 4	Fran Brown Jr.	Syracuse	RS JR/TR	21	Brown bear
Tier 4	Joseph Vinci	Notre Dame	JR	96	Vicuña
Tier 4	Luke Williams	San Diego State	RS JR/TR	64	Williamson's mouse-deer
Tier 4	Hyrum Hatch	Utah State	RS JR/TR	13	Hatchling sea turtle
Tier 4	Dylan Schaub	Baylor	RS JR	93	Shovelnose ray
Tier 4	Andrew Johnson	Kansas State	RS JR	33	Johnston's genet
Tier 4	Weston Simmons	Memphis	RS JR/TR	34	Simian
Tier 4	Evan Bishop	UAB	RS JR/TR	46	Bishop's o'o
Tier 4	James Roe	Wisconsin	JR/TR	46	Roe deer
Tier 4	Caleb Schmidt	Iowa State	JR/TR	46	Schmidt's guenon
Tier 4	Mitchell Dietzel	James Madison	RS JR/TR	47	Dik-dik
Tier 4	Nolan Wilson	Louisiana-Monroe	RS JR/TR	48	Wilson's bird-of-paradise
Tier 4	Brendan Durkin	Old Dominion	RS JR/TR	30	Duroc pig
Tier 4	Wyatt Rubinoff	Virginia	JR/TR	50	Ruby-throated hummingbird
Tier 4	Joseph Stoever	Buffalo	RS JR/TR	48	Stoat
Tier 4	Jack Kautz	Eastern Michigan	RS JR/TR	42	Kākāpō
Tier 4	Justin Wood	Florida International	RS JR/TR	47	Woodpecker
Tier 4	Ethan Rossetti	Fresno State	JR/TR	52	Rosy boa
Tier 4	Dixon Musgrove	Jacksonville State	RS JR/TR	45	Musk ox
Tier 4	Brock Walters	Kennesaw State	RS JR/TR	45	Water vole
Tier 4	Ryan Manis	Louisville	RS SO/TR	47	Manatee
Tier 4	Jack Wills	Nebraska	SO/TR	87	Willow ptarmigan
Tier 4	Nick Hemer	Ohio	RS JR/TR	46	Hammerhead shark
Tier 4	Jeremy Sousa	Washington State	JR/TR	47	Sousa's shrike
Tier 4	Nate Merchant	Coastal Carolina	RS JR	43	Merchant shipworm
Tier 4	William Hodges	UTSA	JR/TR	43	Hedgehog
Tier 4	Stone Dean	Akron	JR/TR	41	Stone marten
Tier 4	Kellan Sutton	Sacramento State	JR/TR	48	Satin bowerbird
Tier 4	Will Terry	TCU	FR	43	Terrier
Tier 4	Carson Perusse	Western Kentucky	JR/TR	40	Pérusse's bat
Tier 4	Jake Helms	Air Force	JR	42	Helmeted hornbill
Tier 4	Ty Smith	BYU	RS SO/TR	43	Tiger
Tier 4	Kyle Hicks	Central Florida	RS SO/TR	43	Hickory horned devil
Tier 4	Caleb Blankenship	Mississippi	RS SO	44	Blanket octopus
Tier 4	Jackson Reach	Clemson	FR	46	Rhea

Tier 5

These players have shown developmental promise and may possess meaningful upside, but they enter 2026 with less proven starting volume, less publicly available performance evidence, or greater uncertainty than the players in the higher tiers.

Tier	Long Snapper	Team	Class	Jersey #	Projected Spirit Animal
Tier 5	Ike Speltz	Iowa	RS SO	47	Spotted elk
Tier 5	Jack Florentine	Northwestern	RS SO	39	Florentine boar
Tier 5	Jonathan Zarut	Oregon State	RS SO/TR	40	Zarudny's jird
Tier 5	Cooper Crook	Boston College	RS SO	49	Crocodile
Tier 5	Sam Wolfenden	Temple	RS SO/TR	97	Wolf
Tier 5	Rylan Vagana	Texas Tech	RS SO	47	Iguana
Tier 5	Trey Young	Colorado	SO/TR	50	Young gazelle
Tier 5	Jack Mowrey	Hawaii	RS SO/TR	33	Moorhen
Tier 5	Silas Hall	LSU	SO	43	Harbor seal
Tier 5	Lincoln Epstein	New Mexico	RS SO/TR	50	Lister's sea squirt
Tier 5	Luke Beard	Southern Miss	RS SO/TR	46	Bearded dragon
Tier 5	Darian Snell	Texas State	RS SO	47	Snail
Tier 5	Quillan Jimenez	Bowling Green	RS SO/TR	41	Porcupine
Tier 5	Cole Walker	East Carolina	RS SO	97	Walking stick insect
Tier 5	Grant Mills	Massachusetts	RS SO/TR	41	Mill moth
Tier 5	Drew Doyle	Western Michigan	RS SO/TR	46	Dhole
Tier 5	Jacob Poff	North Texas	SO/TR	47	Puffin
Tier 5	Colton Walls	Troy	RS SO	87	Wallaby
Tier 5	Braxton Kitchens	Georgia State	SO/TR	36	Kitchen's mouse
Tier 5	Chase Ortiz	Marshall	SO/TR	43	Ortolan bunting
Tier 5	Kallen Cosper	Mississippi State	RS FR	39	Copperhead
Tier 5	Jason Arredondo	Tulane	SO	57	Red panda
Tier 5	Cian Stack	Nevada	SO	51	Stag beetle
Tier 5	Maddox Sills	Delaware	SO	49	Silkworm
Tier 5	Justin Schmidt	Pittsburgh	RS FR/TR	59	Schmidt's red-tailed monkey
Tier 5	Luke O'Hare	Maryland	RS FR	97	Hare
Tier 5	Henry Searcy	Charlotte	RS FR/TR	33	Sea urchin
Tier 5	Phoenix Derichsweiler	Rice	RS FR/TR	48	Phoenix
Tier 5	Brayden Boeing	Miami (Ohio)	FR	89	Boeing butterfly
Tier 5	Max Allen	Toledo	RS FR/TR	49	Alligator
Tier 5	Xavier Ross	Arkansas State	RS FR	31	Ross seal
Tier 5	Mitch Weisenborn	Missouri State	FR	91	Weasel
Tier 5	Braydyn Sage	New Mexico State	FR	41	Sage grouse