u/mills992922

Everyone turns nasty and abusive towards me and distances themselves, but they’re nice in the beginning. I would never turn nasty and abusive to them, and they don’t give me closure or tell me what i did wrong because they have no answer if i ask them. I know my actions and how i treat people. I was brought up and taught to never disrespect or be abusive to anyone and to always help and support everyone, so that’s what i have always done. The people who got abusive and nasty to me said how loyal, kind, and pretty i was to my face.

I wish all the time for someone who will truly stay by my side and not just leave, not turn nasty and abusive, and treat me amazingly.

I've been thinking about this guy every day for years, even though we were never friends. We hardly knew each other. It's been years since I last saw him, and we haven't been in touch in years.

Whenever I come across his girlfriend on social media, I find myself obsessively checking her profile every single day for years now. I often feel upset and compare myself to his girlfriend, even though I don’t know her at all. I can't help but compare my appearance to hers, which makes me upset. I often wish I could be her, look like her, and have her personality.

I get attached to people i barely know.

I often find myself getting really attached to people I don’t know from the very first day. It’s not something I do on purpose; it just happens naturally. For example, when I meet new people, I feel a strong urge to spend a lot of time with them, and I tend to think of us as friends right away. I always try to talk to them and be around them every day.

For many years, i endured relentless bullying from both boys and girls, starting in my childhood and continuing through my teenage years and into adulthood.

I often reflect on why i was targeted for such mistreatment and why those around me chose to treat me so poorly throughout my life.

I've never had anyone in my life who truly values me, treats me like i'm everything to them, promises to always be there, and genuinely wants me around.

I frequently experience a sense of sadness when i observe others relishing moments with their friends, feeling cherished and loved; it strikes me that i have never genuinely experienced that level of connection.

I feel a sense of sadness when i see others enjoying things i never had the chance to experience.

I find myself hesitant to make friends because every single one i've had in the past has turned out to be abusive and has abandoned me. They all seemed so nice at first, but eventually, they betrayed me. This has been a recurring theme in my life. The thought of going through that same painful experience again keeps me from forming any new friendships.

I often find myself dealing with strong emotions that can shift dramatically, going from feeling fine to experiencing a completely different state of mind.

Something as simple as noticing a beautiful girl can make me obsessively check her social media for months or even years, feeling emotional and wishing I could be her instead of myself.

I constantly find myself battling flashbacks from my past it's not just one or two, but a whole flood of them that play on repeat in my mind, day in and day out.

I experience limerence.

Every day, I catch myself comparing my life, my body, and my face to every girl I come across. It really gets to me when I think they are prettier than I am, and I often wish I could look like them. I also find myself wishing I could have their personalities. Their friendships and love lives leave me feeling upset and envious.

Being out in public all alone really makes me anxious about strangers and on edge about my surroundings. I hardly ever venture out by myself because I get so nervous and feel like everyone around me is a potential threat. But when I have someone by my side, it definitely helps to calm those fears.

I often find myself getting really attached to people right from the start. I feel like I’m friends with someone after just meeting them for the first time.

I tend to overthink how people act, and I often find myself feeling emotionally hurt by things that might seem insignificant to others.

I struggle every day with my self-identity and often feel unhappy with my appearance, thinking my face is unattractive. I hate everything about myself. I dislike my body and who I am, and I often wish I could be someone else. This has been a recurring issue for me since childhood, through my teenage years, and into adulthood.

I often struggle with intense emotions and can shift from feeling fine to completely overwhelmed and sad in no time.

A minor incident, seeing a girl who is pretty, will lead me to start checking her social media every day for maybe years or months. Comparing myself, I will get jealous of her friendships and relationships, which can impact my mood for the whole day.

I deal with constant flashbacks, not just one, but so many, and I can picture them from my past 24/7, all day, every day, good or bad ones.

I deal with severe limerence.

I compare myself to every single girl on social media and in public. I’ve been doing this for years.

I don’t like being by myself in public places. I hardly go out in public by myself because I get so nervous and feel unsafe and hypervigilant. However, if I have someone with me, I feel more comfortable and not nervous.

I also tend to get very attached to people the first time I meet them, especially thinking I’m friends with a person the first day I meet them, and I constantly worry that they secretly dislike me.

I find myself spending way too much time overthinking everything throughout the day; my mind just won’t take a break—it's a constant whirlwind, nonstop, 24/7.

I will also analyze how others behave and feel emotionally hurt by things that might seem trivial to others.

My sense of self feels shaky, as if I don’t quite know who I am, and I hate everything about my appearance, body, and who I am. I always wish I could be someone else.

I often struggle with intense emotions and can shift from feeling fine to completely overwhelmed in no time.

Seeing a girl who is pretty, will lead me to start checking her social media every day for maybe years or months. Comparing myself, I will get jealous of her friendships and relationships, which can impact my mood for the whole day.

I deal with constant flashbacks, not just one, but so many, and I can picture them from my past 24/7, all day, every day, good or bad ones.

I deal with limerence.

I compare myself to every single girl on social media and in public. I’ve been doing this for years.

I don’t like being by myself in public places. I hardly go out in public by myself because I get so nervous and feel unsafe and hypervigilant. However, if I have someone with me, I feel more comfortable and not nervous.

I also tend to get very attached to people the first time I meet them, especially thinking I’m friends with a person the first day I meet them, and I constantly worry that they secretly dislike me.

spend a lot of time overthinking everything all day; my mind never switches off—constant, nonstop, all day, 24/7.

I will also analyze how others behave and feel emotionally hurt by things that might seem trivial to others.

My sense of self feels shaky, as if I don’t quite know who I am, and I hate everything about my appearance, body, and who I am. I always wish I could be someone else.

Confession i often struggle with intense emotions and can shift from feeling fine to completely overwhelmed in no time.

A minor incident, seeing a girl who is pretty, will lead me to start checking her social media every day for maybe years or months. Comparing myself, I will get jealous of her friendships and relationships, which can impact my mood for the whole day.

I deal with constant flashbacks, not just one, but so many, and I can picture them from my past 24/7, all day, every day, good or bad ones.

I deal with severe limerence.

I compare myself to every single girl on social media and in public. I’ve been doing this for years.

I don’t like being by myself in public places. I hardly go out in public by myself because I get so nervous and feel unsafe and hypervigilant. However, if I have someone with me, I feel more comfortable and not nervous.

I also tend to get very attached to people the first time I meet them, especially thinking I’m friends with a person the first day I meet them, and I constantly worry that they secretly dislike me.

I spend a lot of time overthinking everything all day; my mind never switches off—constant, nonstop, all day, 24/7.

I will also analyze how others behave and feel emotionally hurt by things that might seem trivial to others.

My sense of self feels shaky, as if I don’t quite know who I am, and I hate everything about my appearance, body, and who I am. I always wish I could be someone else.

From a young age and into my adult years, I've always found myself comparing my appearance to every girl I encounter. I scrutinize their bodies and faces against my own on a daily basis.

There are moments when I can't even stand to see my own reflection in the mirror due to the disgust I feel. Frequently, I contemplate the notion of starving myself, wishing to become so thin that I might finally learn to appreciate myself more.

My comparisons extend beyond real life; I also measure myself against girls I come across on social media. I can spend hours feeling emotional and envious of their friendships and relationships. On top of this, I also grapple with the challenges of CPTSD.

I wish I could transform into someone entirely different, longing for the looks and physique of another girl.

I find myself imitating traits, styles, and personalities anything that might help me feel more accepted. Yet, when I gaze into the mirror, I feel disappointed that I’m still just me.

It can be incredibly exhausting to constantly feel like every other girl possesses something I’ve missed out on, especially while dealing with CPTSD and those flashbacks.

I still ponder who I might have become without the bullying.

For years, I endured relentless bullying, beginning in my childhood, continuing through my teenage years, and extending into my adult life.

I often reflect on why I was targeted for bullying and treated so poorly by those around me throughout my life.

I find myself scrolling through this girl's social media every single day. I can't help but wish I could dress like her, have her personality, and enjoy her friendships and relationship. It honestly makes me feel so jealous that I sometimes end up in tears. I keep checking her posts throughout the day. She's not the only one, either; I've done this with quite a few other girls in the past. I get so hooked on following their lives online that it can go on for years.

From a young age and continuing into my adult years, I've been in a constant state of comparing my looks to every girl i meet. I analyse their bodies and faces against my own every single day. There are moments when i can't even stand to face my own reflection in the mirror due to the disgust i feel. Frequently, i find myself considering the idea of starving myself, day after day, in the hope of becoming so thin that i might finally appreciate myself more. My comparisons don't stop in the real world; i also measure myself against girls i see on social media. I can spend countless hours feeling emotional and envious of their friendships and relationships. On top of this, i also deal with the challenges of complex PTSD.

I still wonder who i would’ve been without the bullying

For years, I dealt with ongoing bullying, beginning in my childhood, continuing through my teenage years, and extending into my adult life.

Since I was a child and a teenager, and even now as an adult, I have grown to really dislike my face, body, and personality. I always find faults in every part of myself.

I wish I could be someone completely different, longing for the appearance and physique of another girl.

This habit of comparing myself to others has haunted me since I was a child and persists into my adult life.

I often think about why I was singled out for bullying and treated so badly by those around me my whole life.

I’ve spent my whole life feeling inferior to other girls

I really don’t think people understand just how damaging it can be to spend your entire life feeling inferior to other girls.

Every time I see a pretty girl, my mind goes into overdrive, comparing everything her face, her body, her personality, her life, her love life, and her friendships.

I analyse it all without even trying, and every single time, I end up feeling worse about myself.

Social media has only made this struggle ten times harder.

I can scroll for just five minutes and suddenly find myself hating who I am for the rest of the day.

Just one girl’s face can completely ruin my mood. One video can send me spiraling into wishing I looked different, acted different, or was just plain different. And the saddest part? I’ve felt this way since I was a kid.

I don’t think I ever really developed a strong sense of self because I was too busy wanting to be like everyone else.

I find myself copying traits, styles, and personalities anything that might make me feel more accepted.

Meanwhile, I look in the mirror and feel let down that I’m still just me.

It’s mentally exhausting to constantly feel like every other girl got something I missed out on.

Honestly, I can’t remember a time when I saw another girl and didn’t immediately feel inadequate next to her.

Whenever i come across a girl, whether in person or scrolling through social media, i can't help but start comparing myself to her.

Her face. Her body. Everything.

Every single time, it ruins my mood and leaves me feeling upset with myself.

It can be really exhausting to spend so much of your life constantly analyzing yourself and feeling like you don't measure up to other girls.

Comparing my face. My body. My appearance. Constantly wishing i looked different.

I end up feeling jealous, upset, and frustrated with myself everyday.

This started in my childhood, carried on through my teenage years, and still impacts me as an adult, as i face this issue every day.

I often find myself imitating the looks, style, and personality of different girls.

Each time i meet another girl i find attractive, it stirs up a lot of emotions in me, and i end up feeling distressed.

Since i was a kid, I've struggled with my appearance both my face and body. This struggle has followed me through my teenage years and into adulthood.

When i was a kid, i used to compare my face and body to girls every single day for years.

I frequently wish i could be like any other girl. There's a heavy sense of dislike for who i am.

I often feel jealous and upset when i see other girls enjoying their friendships, relationships, and experiences.

I’ve completely cut people out of my life without giving them any warning, acting as if they don’t exist to me anymore.

No explanation. No argument. No closure.

One day i decide i’m finished and remove myself from their lives for good. The worst part is that they don’t see it coming.

It happens when i’ve been disrespected, feeling like i’m the only one who cares, not being treated with respect, kindness, loyalty, and honesty, and having my messages left on delivered for days.

I can ignore calls, leave messages unread, avoid them in public, block them on everything, and never speak to them again without feeling guilty.

Throughout my life, I’ve always treated people with kindness, respect, loyalty, and honesty, yet I’ve often been met with cruelty in return. Every friendship I’ve had, from childhood to teenage years and into adulthood, has eventually become toxic, abusive, distant, or hurtful. No matter how genuine I am, I always seem to end up being the person people take for granted, disrespect, replace, or talk badly about behind my back.

What hurts the most is seeing other people experience the love, loyalty, and care that I’ve always wanted, while I sit here wondering what is so different about me. I’ve never felt like anyone’s first choice. I’ve never felt fully appreciated. I’ve never had someone look at me and think, “I don’t want to lose this person.” People always end up leaving, or they stay while treating me badly.

The hardest part is that I still care deeply about people despite everything. I still try. I still want connection. I still want to believe that one day someone will finally treat me properly. But after years of disappointment, betrayal, bullying, abandonment, and feeling emotionally overlooked, it becomes harder and harder not to doubt myself.

Every friend i've had from childhood to my teenage years and into adulthood has turned mean and abusive, even though i never treated them that way. I always treat people with kindness, respect, and honesty.

I have never been the ideal person that someone wants in their life, treated as if i mean everything to them, and having them remain with me without leaving.

Throughout my life, i’ve been bullied for 16 years by girls and boys without a break; it has been constant
and unending.

I have spent a significant portion of my life feeling emotionally insecure in the presence of others. Even when someone shows kindness towards me, a part of me anticipates the moment they will change, abandon, replace, humiliate, or cease to care for me.

Consequently, I tend to overanalyze every interaction. Minor exchanges linger in my thoughts for years. A fleeting glance, a compliment, an act of rejection, being overlooked, or someone opting for another person over me my mind assigns profound emotional significance to events that others would likely forget swiftly.

I find myself in constant comparison with other women. Not just occasionally, but incessantly. I scrutinize their appearance, personality, relationships, the attention they receive, their popularity, how loved they appear, and their innate confidence. I evaluate myself against all these factors, and I nearly always feel inadequate.

For years, I have held the belief that if I were more attractive, more lovable, more engaging, less emotional, or less damaged, then people would ultimately choose to stay.

Even when someone expresses care for me, I find it challenging to fully accept it because, deep down, I anticipate rejection more than acceptance. I often presume that people secretly dislike for me, tolerate my presence, feel pity for me, or will eventually leave once they truly understand who I am.

I obsessively replay painful memories. Feelings of embarrassment, bullying, rejection, awkward encounters, exclusion, and a sense of being unwanted my mind revisits these experiences repeatedly as if they are occurring in the present moment

I form deep emotional attachments, even when little has transpired between myself and the other individual. Sometimes, the attachment is not solely about the person themselves, but rather what they symbolize for me emotionally validation, being chosen, being acknowledged, and feeling sufficient. When I observe someone they have selected in place of me, or someone who possesses qualities I perceive as lacking in myself, it can evoke intense feelings of jealousy, sadness, and comparison.

I long for deep love, reassurance, safety, consistency, and emotional intimacy, yet I find it hard to fully trust it when it comes my way. This likely leaves me feeling emotionally drained, as my mind is constantly on the lookout for signs of rejection, abandonment, or comparison. I don't believe I hate myself because I was born with that feeling.

I think I developed it over time through ongoing emotional pain, comparison, rejection, loneliness, bullying, and feeling invisible. Eventually, those experiences shifted from being events that happened to me to becoming evidence of my identity.

Since i was a kid, all through my teenage years and into adulthood, i’ve constantly found myself comparing my face and body to other girls.

This habit of measuring my body and face against theirs really took a toll on my mental health, leading me to starve myself at a young age.

I often felt overwhelmed with emotions, never believing i was good enough, constantly thinking i was ugly and hating my body.

Unfortunately, this struggle continues to this day.