u/minno308

I just did my 3rd session and 56mg I think? Im only taking two doses right now. I'm feeling any different, Im still overwhelmed, i get randomly sad throughout the day. I cant even imagine a future where I dont end up killing myself tbh. Im so miserable, and im addicted to my phone cuz I cant handle these constant negative thoughts. Im just hoping it kicks in soon, i have no will to do anything. I look forward to my appointment though ! I dont dissociate, I just get really happy and dizzy and time goes by really fast. I was scared too start it because I used to dissociate but im not really having that problem!

I'm at my breaking point. I have been doomscrolling since I got my first phone at 13 and Im still doing it at 23. I've been doing it for so long idk who I am anymore. I keep trying to stop, I set limits on my phone, i tried dumbphones, etc but nothing really worked. All I do all day is pace back and forth and doomscroll, and playing video games that dont even interest me anymore. Nothing interests me anymore.

I feel like husk of a person. I been depressed for as long as I can remember and I have no will to change, no will to do anything, I have no hope for my future. Everytime I try to think about my future I get incredibly anxious. I am on medication and its not working. Im pretty sure I have treatment resistant depression. I am working on a alternative way to treat depression, but im waiting is all I can do right now.

I think I lost all hope of changing. I dont remember the last time I was truly content and happy. My phone ruined my life. I need to change but at the same time change is scary. So idk what to do at this point.

I've only been listening to finnish and doing my finnish anki deck, I haven't touched the grammar. I dont even know English grammar how do I grasp finnish grammar? idk how to study it which is the problem, I also dont know where to start. I tried a tiny bit of grammar but it goes one ear and out the other. I'm not comphrending anything.

My way of studying is reading whats on Uusi kielemme over and over again. But that website has so much information on it idk what to do with the information. I found an A1 section and i still just am not comphrending it. Maybe theres something wrong with me. I know finnish grammar is just hard, but i like grammar, I just dont really understand what im reading if that makes sense.

All I know about finnish grammar is vowel harmony but its very surface level.

But yea, the problem is mainly not comphrending the grammar and idk how to study it basically.

When I look into the future I get fill of dread. I have no skills, I have no hobbies. I get anxious cuz eventually ill have to find a new job and I have no hireable skills. All I do all day is doomscroll and pace back and forth. I genuinely get stuck all day, but i dont have any will to change either. I dont wanna write anymore, I dont wanna read, I get anxiety when I need to leave the house. I'm medicated but nothing seems to be working. I dont want to go on an ssri because I heard awful things. I have no ambition, no drive. I dont want to die but at the same time I do because I dont want to deal with the consequences of my own actions. Everything I did in my life as lead up to this moment and I keep making the same mistakes and idk how to change. Change feels impossible, like its just out of my grasp. Im tried all the time, but i cant sleep. I just want life to end already.

I never had any snakes or reptiles before, I thought about getting a BRB but theyre a bit too fragile for my liking. Im thinking about getting a bigger snake because their more engaging tbh. The problem is im wary of the size and the strength. My friend thinks its a bad idea because if they wrap around my chest they might restrict my airflow, or around my neck. And I heard the bites can be pretty bad, Im still in the research phase, I dont plan on getting on soon. But I also heard their pretty docile and easier to handle. What your opinions?

I wasn’t a religious person until I found paganism back in 7th grade, but I want to start taking it more seriously. Idk really know what being a pagan consists of. Idk how to function as a pagan if i’m making any sense. I’m not sure what to do now. I believe in the gods great but like what do I do with this information? You know what I mean, my question would look different if I was a witch because the answer would be just do witchcraft but I’m not a witch I just like talking to the gods sometimes, i’ll probably dabble in witchcraft but I wouldn’t call myself a witch.

Any tips and help would be appreciated ! What does being a pagan look like in your daily life? Cuz rn I have an altar to Apollo, and I prayed to Mercury about having a safe flight which never praying to Mercury again (long story) But other than that I’m kind of lost.

I have pauresis which is shy bladder syndrome, which makes it almost impossible to pee in public or with people around and I took a solo trip to New Mexico, and I was in fight or flight mode for 4 days straight, and I was able to pee for the first day or two, but then I just stopped. The day I left I didnt pee all day, and I didnt pee until I landed in Chicago for my layover by that time it was around 10 hours since I peed, and I had to pee the entire time, from my arrival at the albuquerque airport until I landed in Chicago. I thank god peed before my next flight, but my stomach still burned. Now I feel like I have to pee all the time, I got tested for a UTI and I don't have one.

I've had this problem before but it usually resovles itself. since I have a bad anxiety disorder, I'm constantly thinking the worst senario. Maybe I didnt pee ENOUGH, do I have to pee right now? How long should I go before I try to pee again. I am able to pee, I have peed around 5 times today. But it just feels like pressure.

This condition is ruining my life and Idk what to do. I need to be able to pee in public, I've tried 5 times on the plane and I just couldnt go. I'm loosing my mind. I'm scared to drink water, to leave the house, go on trips.