u/missy_got_this

So my husband and I had dated for about three months and I ended up pregnant. We had felt like we were the ones for each other anyways so we got married when I was about 7 months pregnant. Our daughter is two and a half months old and he’s back at work. But I’m realizing he’s a totally different person than I thought he was. It’s not a bad thing just some things I hadn’t noticed before. I’m noticing that he seems to think poorly of people with mental health issues. I have bipolar and ocd, I’ve started medication and therapy and have been doing much better. But while I was pregnant I wasn’t on anything or in therapy and I turned into a horrible version of myself. Like truly toxic. Now that I’m in a better place. He’s struggling to trust this person I am growing into. I am giving him grace and trying my best to communicate with him. But it seems like he’s given up on the relationship. He puts in MINIMAL effort. For example our engagement. He told me the week before that he was gunna propose then tried to tell me he was joking. Then told me to get my nails done (which he’s said only fake women have) and to go get an outfit. Like it was obvious but kept trying to tell me he wasn’t gunna propose. He proposed to a girl before and had told me about it when we first met and he put in a lot of effort for her. I appreciated what he did. But thinking back on it he really didn’t even try. I want to start going to mass (he’s catholic im Christian, he doesn’t want to learn about my faith so I’m trying to learn about his and show him respect for his religion) but when I try and get him to go he complains and acts like I’m his mom telling him he has to do something. We also are having our daughter baptized in the Catholic Church and I want to get her a baptism dress ( which I found out is something that their church does) he wants to borrow one from one of his siblings…. I want our daughter to have her own dress that she can pass down to her daughter one day or at least have for the memory of her sacrament to the church. We are arguing over how much they cost which is fair they are expensive and we don’t have a lot of money right now. So I’ve suggested looking on FB marketplace for a used one that’s much cheaper or going to a thrift store. Yet he still wants to borrow one. Another thing is that he always pokes my belly or plays with the fat on my chin. I’ve told him it doesn’t make me feel good about myself when he does that and yet he continues to do it. It makes me feel like he doesn’t care about me. I also have struggled with abusing stool softeners and came clean to him about it and asked him to hide them ( I still need them one in a blue moon) he hid them. Then three days later he left them right on the counter and stated that he left them there so he’d remember to tell me about something I needed to clean. I felt completely betrayed. It started an argument between us. He said he didn’t think anything of it and didn’t realize it would impact me that way. I just don’t understand how he couldn’t think it would trigger me after I told him about my issues with them. I told him he could have done a million other things to remember to talk to me than that. We are on a waiting list for couples counseling and he’s agreed to do it. But I feel so stuck right now. I try and talk to him about issues and give him space to talk about things I say or do but he says he has no problems with me… I know things I do bother him but he won’t admit it or address it with me.

Tl;dr I know I’m changing and working on my own issues and it will take time for our trust to return but is there any advice you guys can give me for the interim?

My husbands family is HUGE. I have a lot of social anxiety and have had a lot of trouble getting along with them. We have a two and a half month old and I’m exhausted everyday. (He’s back at work already). They constantly talk about how immature I am and that I’m irresponsible. I feel judged for every little thing I do or don’t do. This party has been stressing me out so much and I really don’t want to go. He wants me to try and connect with them. Which I am doing. But this whole party is going to be a LOT of people more than 40 probably and I can’t picture myself going today. I feel like it’s too much with the newborn.

My girl is two and a half months old and she can’t stand tummy time. She screams bloody murder and can only do it for a few minutes at a time. I’ve tried distracting her it’s contrast photos, mirrors, sensory objects touching her back, singing songs, just letting her cry for a few minutes. It doesn’t seem to be getting better and she seems like she’s in pain. I’m not sure if this is normal or if there’s something else going on. I’m a first time mom and never spent a lot of time around babies.

My husband and I are discussing if these videos are enriching for our baby to watch. I think it provides visual stimulation because of the colors and moving around. But he thinks it’s brain rot. What do you guys think? I only put it on for about 20 minutes one or two times a week. I do lots of play time and tummy time with her. We have a subscription box for Montessori toys for her age range and we engage in that every day. So she’s not sitting in front of the tv all day watching this. I think it’s fine but I also want to respect what he thinks too.

My system is pretty upset with me because we’re in therapy. They don’t want to relinquish their roles. I have a daughter now and need to seriously work through these things so it’s a non negotiable. I keep switching and it’s really frustrating for me today.

When my husband and I first met he had two cats from his previous relationship. I only minded them sometimes. One of the cats is devious and is always messing with things knocking over whatever he can. I’ve never had cats before and have been told this is just how cats are. Well it was pretty manageable until we had the newborn. He is constantly meowing, running around, messing with literally everything. Worse than before. I know he is just upset that he is getting less attention now but I am stuck at home trying to find my flow with the newborn while also spending time with the cats. His meows and knocking things over prevent my baby from falling asleep at times and then she gets even more fussy. I don’t know how to divide my attention appropriately or what to do differently to be there for my baby and the cats so they stop acting out. My baby is two months old

Is it normal to be so tired still at 10 weeks pp? I just ran a grocery run with my daughter and got home put all the stuff away and feel completely pooped. I feel like I should have more energy to get things done.

So my husband and I have a newborn she’s 2 months old and he’s been doing the night shift with her. Recently he’s expressed that he wants to fix his sleep schedule. I’ve been very supportive and we’ve been working on things he can do to get him tired before bed. He also stated how he wants to wake up early in the morning when our daughter usually gets hungry and all go outside feed her and journal to start off our days. I am in love with this idea and have been trying to implement it. The problem is becoming that I fall asleep around 8 and he won’t do any of the things we talk about him doing to get himself tired if I’m not there. Then in the mornings he refuses getting up and puts up a huge fight. Saying he’s too tired which is totally valid but this is a great opportunity to start a family routine together. I made him stay up for a full day after not sleeping to try to start to fix the sleep issue but the next day he went right back to staying up and not helping himself. I want to continue to fight for this change but am not sure how to approach it anymore.

Need advice of new ways to approach the situation.
Tl;dr need news ways to fix husbands opposite sleep schedule and start new family routine.

Does anyone else feel extreme anger and take it out on people around them? I feel like the worst person ever and like I’m going crazy. I’ve been doing grounding meditations and taking more time doing things which has helped gain more insight into how aggravated I truly am. Please tell me I’m not the only one?

Instead of dealing and admitting I have an eating disorder I projected it onto everyone around me. I’ve been slowly destroying all bridges with family and friends for years. I now have a daughter and am faced with overcoming this or it taking me out. I don't know how to walk away from the ed without walking away from my husband and family. I haven't gotten real help ever. I've always tried to manage it on my own but it's gotten out of my control. I am calling my doctor tomorrow to tell them how I'm feeling and whatever needs to be done im going to do it. Today I ate three meals AND snacks. I even went to my in laws house and retuned things I had stolen from them and apologized. I haven’t cared about anyone or anything because I didn’t believe I would be around this long. Now that I’m changing it’s a heavy feeling recognizing what I’ve done and how much I need to go about changing.