u/modestknowledge

I’m 39, 6’0”, around 280 lbs, married with children, and I feel like I’ve slowly lost the version of myself that used to have energy and take pride in himself.
My wife sent me a picture of myself from when I was significantly skinnier and looked full of life. It honestly hit me hard. I realized that I don’t necessarily miss just being thinner — I miss the person I was.

Right now I have a gym membership that I haven’t used in months. I stay up too late, sometimes fall asleep at my desk, eat too much sugar, spend too much time gaming/doomscrolling, and generally choose easy stimulation when I’m tired.
I also have sleep apnea, which I’m realizing may be contributing to how exhausted I feel.
I have a wife and children and I want to be energetic, present and healthy for them. But I also want to do this for myself. I don’t want my entire identity to become being a parent who has no time or energy left for himself.

I’ve tried intermittent fasting and different workout routines before. Sometimes I get motivated, lose some weight, then fall back into old habits.
I’m not looking for a crash diet or a 30-day miracle.
I want to rebuild my life.

If you were in my position, what would you focus on FIRST? Sleep? Gym? Diet? Cutting social media/gaming? Walking? Something else?

What habits actually helped you get your energy, confidence and self-respect back?
I’d especially appreciate advice from people who were overweight, had kids, and felt like they had lost themselves but eventually turned things around.
I’m looking for practical advice, not perfection. I genuinely want to become the best version of myself again — for myself, my wife and my kids.

I’m 39, 6’0”, around 280 lbs, married with children, and I feel like I’ve slowly lost the version of myself that used to have energy and take pride in himself.
My wife sent me a picture of myself from when I was significantly skinnier and looked full of life. It honestly hit me hard. I realized that I don’t necessarily miss just being thinner — I miss the person I was.

Right now I have a gym membership that I haven’t used in months. I stay up too late, sometimes fall asleep at my desk, eat too much sugar, spend too much time gaming/doomscrolling, and generally choose easy stimulation when I’m tired.
I also have sleep apnea, which I’m realizing may be contributing to how exhausted I feel.
I have a wife and children and I want to be energetic, present and healthy for them. But I also want to do this for myself. I don’t want my entire identity to become being a parent who has no time or energy left for himself.

I’ve tried intermittent fasting and different workout routines before. Sometimes I get motivated, lose some weight, then fall back into old habits.
I’m not looking for a crash diet or a 30-day miracle.
I want to rebuild my life.

If you were in my position, what would you focus on FIRST? Sleep? Gym? Diet? Cutting social media/gaming? Walking? Something else?

What habits actually helped you get your energy, confidence and self-respect back?
I’d especially appreciate advice from people who were overweight, had kids, and felt like they had lost themselves but eventually turned things around.
I’m looking for practical advice, not perfection. I genuinely want to become the best version of myself again — for myself, my wife and my kids.

I’m 39, 6’0”, around 280 lbs, married with children, and I feel like I’ve slowly lost the version of myself that used to have energy and take pride in himself.
My wife sent me a picture of myself from when I was significantly skinnier and looked full of life. It honestly hit me hard. I realized that I don’t necessarily miss just being thinner — I miss the person I was.

Right now I have a gym membership that I haven’t used in months. I stay up too late, sometimes fall asleep at my desk, eat too much sugar, spend too much time gaming/doomscrolling, and generally choose easy stimulation when I’m tired.
I also have sleep apnea, which I’m realizing may be contributing to how exhausted I feel.
I have a wife and children and I want to be energetic, present and healthy for them. But I also want to do this for myself. I don’t want my entire identity to become being a parent who has no time or energy left for himself.

I’ve tried intermittent fasting and different workout routines before. Sometimes I get motivated, lose some weight, then fall back into old habits.
I’m not looking for a crash diet or a 30-day miracle.
I want to rebuild my life.

If you were in my position, what would you focus on FIRST? Sleep? Gym? Diet? Cutting social media/gaming? Walking? Something else?

What habits actually helped you get your energy, confidence and self-respect back?
I’d especially appreciate advice from people who were overweight, had kids, and felt like they had lost themselves but eventually turned things around.
I’m looking for practical advice, not perfection. I genuinely want to become the best version of myself again — for myself, my wife and my kids.

I’m 39, 6’0”, around 280 lbs, married with children, and I feel like I’ve slowly lost the version of myself that used to have energy and take pride in himself.
My wife sent me a picture of myself from when I was significantly skinnier and looked full of life. It honestly hit me hard. I realized that I don’t necessarily miss just being thinner — I miss the person I was.

Right now I have a gym membership that I haven’t used in months. I stay up too late, sometimes fall asleep at my desk, eat too much sugar, spend too much time gaming/doomscrolling, and generally choose easy stimulation when I’m tired.
I also have sleep apnea, which I’m realizing may be contributing to how exhausted I feel.
I have a wife and children and I want to be energetic, present and healthy for them. But I also want to do this for myself. I don’t want my entire identity to become being a parent who has no time or energy left for himself.

I’ve tried intermittent fasting and different workout routines before. Sometimes I get motivated, lose some weight, then fall back into old habits.
I’m not looking for a crash diet or a 30-day miracle.
I want to rebuild my life.

If you were in my position, what would you focus on FIRST? Sleep? Gym? Diet? Cutting social media/gaming? Walking? Something else?

What habits actually helped you get your energy, confidence and self-respect back?
I’d especially appreciate advice from people who were overweight, had kids, and felt like they had lost themselves but eventually turned things around.
I’m looking for practical advice, not perfection. I genuinely want to become the best version of myself again — for myself, my wife and my kids.

I’m 39, 6’0”, around 280 lbs, married with children, and I feel like I’ve slowly lost the version of myself that used to have energy and take pride in himself.
My wife sent me a picture of myself from when I was significantly skinnier and looked full of life. It honestly hit me hard. I realized that I don’t necessarily miss just being thinner — I miss the person I was.

Right now I have a gym membership that I haven’t used in months. I stay up too late, sometimes fall asleep at my desk, eat too much sugar, spend too much time gaming/doomscrolling, and generally choose easy stimulation when I’m tired.
I also have sleep apnea, which I’m realizing may be contributing to how exhausted I feel.
I have a wife and children and I want to be energetic, present and healthy for them. But I also want to do this for myself. I don’t want my entire identity to become being a parent who has no time or energy left for himself.

I’ve tried intermittent fasting and different workout routines before. Sometimes I get motivated, lose some weight, then fall back into old habits.
I’m not looking for a crash diet or a 30-day miracle.
I want to rebuild my life.

If you were in my position, what would you focus on FIRST? Sleep? Gym? Diet? Cutting social media/gaming? Walking? Something else?

What habits actually helped you get your energy, confidence and self-respect back?
I’d especially appreciate advice from people who were overweight, had kids, and felt like they had lost themselves but eventually turned things around.
I’m looking for practical advice, not perfection. I genuinely want to become the best version of myself again — for myself, my wife and my kids.

Hello all,

I’m from Canada and I want to start investing through Wealthsimple for the long term. My plan is to keep buying ETFs consistently for the next 20–30 years.

I can only invest in halal ETFs because I want to avoid companies involved in haram industries and avoid interest-based investments (riba).
I’m currently looking at:

SPUS
HLAL
WSHR

My question is whether SPUS or HLAL are worth it compared to WSHR because they are U.S.-listed and I would have currency conversion fees when buying and eventually withdrawing.
For example, if my portfolio grows to $1 million one day and I withdraw 5% per year to live, would the USD conversion costs make a big difference?

For Canadians who invest halal:

Which ETF do you use?
Do you think SPUS/HLAL are worth the extra FX fees?
Or is WSHR better because it’s Canadian-listed and simpler?
Would you use a TFSA for this?

Looking for a simple long-term buy-and-hold strategy.

Hey everyone,

I’m currently working in the federal government (IT stream). I recently qualified in an IT-02 pool and I’m now in a situation where I may have an opportunity to move up from IT-01 → IT-02.

The thing is, I’m a bit conflicted.

A few years ago, I stepped away from a developer-type role and moved into an indeterminate position for stability. Since then, I haven’t really been doing development work, and I’ve been missing it. My long-term goal is still to get back into a developer/software engineering type role.

Now I’m thinking about whether it’s worth taking an IT-02 promotion if the role might not be exactly what I want (possibly more support/IT operations or less dev-focused work).

My concerns are:

• The financial jump is obviously important
• I’m a bit worried about turning down IT-02 and not getting another opportunity for a long time
• But I also don’t want to get “stuck” in a role that moves me further away from development

My question is basically:
Is it better to take the IT-02 for stability and progression, and then try to pivot internally later to a dev role once I’m already at that level?

Or is it better to wait for a more aligned developer-focused IT-02 role, even if that takes longer and is less certain?

Would really appreciate any advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.