u/mrfreeze782

My GF and I dated over a year and a half. The relationship has been very fulfilling but we have faced some challenges lately. She lost her job in June and decided to move out of state with her daughter that can help her financially and logistically. Problem was, she ghosted me a few weeks back and I came to find out she was just going to leave without telling me. I had to knock on her door after 12 days of not hearing from her and fearing something happened to her. She said it would just have been easier to go and not tell me. I told her I understand her need to go but that we can make the most of our time together and it hurt me that she had planned on not saying anything to me. She was very cold for about a week before finally opening up and agreeing to make the most of our time.

So, come time for her to leave, we agreed to remain close and see what the future brings. We are not officially in a relationship anymore but as I said, you never know. I told her I wanted to visit her in a few months and she became irritated saying it "stressed her out" and that she might not be ready to resume a relationship then. I told her it didn't need to be like that and we could just hang and see what's up. I put in for the vacation time as I have to get it done before PTO is shut down in November and everyone floods the requests.

In our last encounter, I took her out for a mani/pedi as a going away present and told her the vacation was approved and that I would work on the tickets. Again, she seemed irritated so I asked if she just didn't want to see me and she said "that's not it". We said our goodbyes and she didn't even really have a lot to say.

I'm very puzzled and this whole thing has left me questioning her feelings toward me. Why ghost me in the first place then take it back? I know she has a lot to work out in a new place which is why I'm waiting 3 months to see her, but why does the thought of somebody she claims to love taking time out of his life to see her cause stress? I still plan on going, but don't really know what to expect. Maybe she will warm up after getting used to things there?

So I met his woman at work about 3 years ago. We always were cool and over time our relationship grew and we started dating over 18 months ago. On the whole, it was a great relationship and we were very close. There were a few things here and there that made me question her commitment to me. She wouldn't let me meet her female roommate/best friend. There was always an excuse and as a result, I could only go over when the roommate wasn't home. I finally got to meet her and it was presented that I was "the man for the job" when they needed help with a car and with moving. She also stayed very close with one guy in particular she used to date and was always shady about him. Several other things here and there didn't quite add up but I am horrible at picking up on things and can over analyze, so I tend to let things go. Anytime I would broach the subject about her commitment I would always be told "of course, why would you even question it?" She would send some mixed signals like she needed me around more often but also need her space. In May, she got her own place. There was talk of me moving in with her but we decided financially and logistically it would be better to wait, but at least we'd have a place to spend more time together. Well, she lost her job in June and was going through a bit of a rough patch, so I spent a lot of time over with her to be there emotionally and to help out with things she needed. I thought about bringing up the subject again but was worried she might think I was pushing too nard at a bad time A few weeks ago, she told me her 32 year old daughter was coming into town. Her father is deceased and according to my gf, she told the daughter all about me and that I would get to meet her and we would do some things together. Come the day of her arrival, I did not hear from her for a bit so I texted her to ask if everything was ok. She told me that the daughter did NOT want to meet me. I asked what brought that about and she said that "she just said it and I can't force it". It all seemed very strange as it went against what she said and she didn't even provide any sort of explanation. So I left it be for a couple days until my birthday came and I didn't even get any sort of acknowledgement from her.. I texted and called but with no response. It's not like her to not contact me every day so I suspected something was very wrong. I did not go over as I did not to intrude on the daughter. After she had left, I finally had to go over there to see what was going on as it had been almost 10 days. She was a completely different person when she answered the door. I asked her what was going on and why was I ghosted. She finally broke down and told me due to her circumstances that she needed to join her daughter out of state and that she had planned to just go and not tell me because it was "easier". Of course that turned into a back and forth. Like why would you end a 19 month relationship with just silence? We both said some things we shouldn't have said. I told her she should have just been real with me as I understand her need to go and that we could enjoy the time we have left and remain close. She told me she needed to think. We exchanged texts for a couple days and it was like talking to a wall. I said it's like we don't even know each other and she said because it is. She said we could meet up sometime before she moves if I want, but I don't want to remember her as this cold, standoffish person. I want to remember her as the amazing woman I've known for years. I went over and told her that leaving things on good terms is the most important thing to me so hopefully we can still have a friendship and that I had to say goodbye but that we can keep in touch.

It makes me wonder if all the little things I noticed were indicative that she really wasn't all in with our relationship. How could she end things after all this time fully intending not to tell me? I poured my heart into it and if I had to leave, would certainly be up front and do what I can to make our final times memorable. It seems like it was all for nothing.