u/mstarrbrannigan

Stumbled across this song, I guess it’s a cover of a Phil Ochs song updated a bit for more modern victims as well. Thought others might enjoy it. This band has a couple other great leftist tunes like The Trolley Problem and Bread and Roses.

A guy came up and set a stack of five cell phones on the desk and asked about our rates. I told him the rate and about the security deposit, he said "What?" so I repeated it again. He asked if he still had to pay the deposit if he booked online and I told him he did.

He shuffled through his five phones for a moment then used one to book a room. He searched through his five phone cases for his ID then handed it to me and started complaining about how deposits are a scam and how he never gets them back. So I started wondering what kind of damage he was doing to rooms.

I asked him for his card and he said he paid online. I reminded him I needed it for the security deposit. He shuffled through his phone cases again then handed me a card. The card declined and I informed him of this. He was paying more attention to one of his phones so he said "What?" and I told him his card declined. He said he already gave me his card, so he obviously wasn't paying that much attention so I confirmed that yes, he'd given me his card, and it declined. He says oh, let me turn it on.

Then he starts laughing and saying his card knows it's a scam, and it's trying to protect him from the scam. Or something stupid like that. I was thousand yard staring out the window waiting for the exchange to be over. He told me it was good now, it wasn't, so he asked how much I was trying to run it for. Just the $100 deposit I told him. He fumbled through his phone then announced that he'd forgotten he cancelled that card. Right. He asks to do tap to pay, which we don't do. (We can, but the owner thinks it will increase chargebacks and doesn't want us to accept it.)

He toys with his phones some more then flips one to face me with a picture of a card on it and says to just to use that one. I explain that I cannot accept a picture of a card. I should now add that he was standing next to a sign that says we require actual physical cards, not mobile pay or pictures of cards. But as we all know no one reads signs.

I then had to explain to him the various reasons why we don't accept pictures of cards, but I might as well of been explaining music theory to a donkey. Likewise for when I had to explain why we don't take cash deposits. He wandered the lobby for a moment saying "Bruh, what the hell" several times before he finally asked for a refund.

If you've been on this subreddit for two seconds you know where this is going.

It was a prepaid nonrefundable reservation through a third party. Ding dong isn't getting his money back unless the manager feels bad for him tomorrow.

He said "bruh, what the hell" one more time as he gathered up his phones and left.

Was reminded of this event from earlier this month by a detective stopping by to follow up.

A few weeks ago I checked a woman in, and it was quite uneventful other than her asking me about the local nightlife. I’m 36 and my idea of a good time is getting stoned with my cats and playing video games. I can direct her to the clubbing district, but I can’t offer specifics. She decided I needed to go out clubbing at some point so I can direct people to the coolest clubs. Yeah, no. I just awkwardly laughed it off.

Another guest came in immediately after her and checked in, and it was seemingly uneventful. This was near the end of my shift, and about an hour later I found myself at home hanging out with the aforementioned cats when my phone rang. It was the NA, asking if a guest had left her card at the desk. I hadn’t seen one and told him as much. He told me the guest was very angry and insistent and I told him there wasn’t much we could do; we didn’t have the card.

I didn’t think any more about it for the rest of the night, but when I came back the next day, I learned the whole story. It wasn’t just the woman’s card that was missing, but her whole wallet. And she was accusing *me* of taking it. The manager of course knew I wouldn’t do that so she reviewed the cameras to see what happened.

Turned out the woman had accidentally knocked her wallet to the ground without realizing. The woman who came to check in behind her had spotted it, and instead of doing the right thing, she grabbed it for herself.

After realizing her wallet was missing, the first woman decided not to lock her cards, but to leave them open so she could see where the thief went so she could catch them herself? Not sure how she expected that to go. The thief went on a shopping spree with her credit card and spent over a thousand dollars on handbags and… a plane ticket across the country.

They were able to get info about the plane ticket by giving the thief’s name to the airline. I don’t remember the details. But the plane had already left, the lady was well on her way.

I don’t know if anything will come of it, I don’t know if the cops where she landed will care to track her down. But considering she’s on camera, and we have a scan of her driver’s license, stealing that wallet might have been a pretty dumb move.

I've just had my patience thoroughly tested, and my head thoroughly baffled.

Two men just came inquiring about a room, and our conversation went as follows (to the best of my memory):

>Man 1: I'm looking for a queen bed.

>Bran: Okay, for rooms I've either got a king bed or a room with two queen beds. They're the same price.

>Man 1: I'm looking for a queen bed.

>Bran: I understand, we don't have any single queen rooms. All of our rooms either have a king bed or two queen beds.

>Man 1: I just need one queen bed.

>Bran: ...

I wasn't sure how to respond considering I'd just gone over his options with him. Fortunately his friend responded.

>Man 2: She said they don't have queen beds, just rooms with a king or two queen beds.

>Man 1: So it's either a king or two single beds?

>Bran: Two queen beds.

>Man 1: Oh, I only need one queen bed.

I glanced to the friend to see if he looked as confused and exasperated as I felt but he looked like it was just a normal day out with this guy. I guess he's never the sharpest tool in the Happy Meal.

>Bran: If you only need one bed, what I've got is a king.

>Man 1: I don't need a king bed.

>Bran: The other option is a room with two queen beds.

>Man 1: I don't need two beds.

Glanced to the friend again perhaps with a look in my eyes that expressed my desperation for help here. The thin facade I wear as a customer service representative was rapidly failing. I started to wonder if it was possible I was being fucked with. I contemplated what might happen if I walked into the back office and stayed there until they left. But then someone came in and stood in line behind them and I thought maybe I could suggest they step aside while they decided what room they wanted. The friend cut in again before I could.

>Man 2: Why don't you just get the king bed?

>Man 1: I don't want a king, I want a queen bed.

>Man 2: Then get the room with two beds, you don't have to use them both.

>Man 1: The room with two singles?

>Man 2: No, it has two queen beds, right?

He turned to me, breaking the fourth wall of their incredibly unentertaining bastardization of an Abbott and Costello bit.

>Bran: Yes, two standard queen beds.

They continued to talk amongst themselves for a moment as Man 1 decided if he wanted to stay or not, ultimately he decided he did and handed me his ID and his card. I was still missing however one important detail.

>Bran: So did you want the one king bed or the two queen beds?

>Man 1: I just need a queen bed.

>Man 2: They either have a king bed, or a room with two queen beds.

>Man 1: Well I don't need two beds.

>Bran: So would you like the king bed?

>Man 1: I don't need a king bed, I just want a queen bed.

>Bran: Sir, we don't have rooms with just one queen bed here.

He turned and talked to his friend for another moment, and decided to leave. I handed him his ID and card back, and plastered on the best customer service smile I could for the patient man who'd been waiting behind them.

He did not have a reservation either, but managed the question of "would you like a single king bed or two queen beds" much more handily. The only question he struggled with was whether he wanted to be on the first or second floor, but that has some pros and cons to weigh against each other so I would never hold that against someone.

I got him checked in and scooted my chair over to my laptop to begin sharing this tale while I still remembered it. I'd barely begun typing out the dialog when Man 2 walked back in. I sincerely hope my trepidation wasn't obvious when he announced that he had convinced his friend to stay.

Wonderful

Man 1 walked back in and handed me his ID and card again, and announced that he would take the king bed. I got him checked in as fast as I possibly could before any further vaudevillian nonsense could occur.

The other day I got a haircut right before work. My hairstylist is great, it looks great, and it always feels nice having a fresh cut right at the start of summer.

I got a few compliments from regulars during my shift, always nice, and one asked me where I got my hair done. I told her about my stylist and how I’d been going to her for years and I really liked her. Well it turns out what she really wanted to do was pitch her husband as my new barber. She gave me his card and talked him up and I awkwardly thanked her for the recommendation knowing damn well I’m going to keep going to my same hairstylist. I’m a lesbian who likes her hair short, and after years of listening to hairstylists say “are you sure? That’s really short” having a hairstylist who will cut my hair the way I want is really nice, so I’m loyal.

Anyway, so I got them checked in and later that night they called down and said their TV wasn’t working. I went to their room to help them figure it out, and noticed the room smelled like cigarettes. I didn’t see any evidence that they’d smoked in the room themselves, and they’ve been staying with us on and off for a few months so I thought maybe one of them had just come in from smoking and the smell followed.

The next day they came back again and I checked them in and it was entirely uneventful. Until today, when I saw they had another reservation and the GM asked if I knew them. I said I did, they’d been staying with us regularly. Turns out, they’d gotten a little too comfortable. They hadn’t left any evidence of smoking aside from the smell behind in the room with the TV issue. The next room they weren’t so careful. Butts and ashes all over the floor.

And they made another reservation! The GM went to call them and tell them not to come back, but the lady’s phone number wasn’t working. Not wanting to have to deal with the confrontation myself in person, I remembered the husband’s business card still sitting on the desk and handed that over to the GM. She called the husband and explained to him that they were no longer welcome. We expected more of an argument, but he just accepted it.

Some weird choices, and I know I definitely don’t want him cutting my hair.

I wonder if we'll be seeing more Dan on QAA in the future. They have a number of colleagues who pop up every now and then to do a guest episode. It would be cool if we saw something from him, if he returns to some kind of right wing research in the future like he said he probably would.

He has chemistry with the QAA folks and they have very obvious respect for him. It would allow him a sort of freelance opportunity so he could work on a piece here and there as something interests him. We'd get our Dan analysis (Danalysis) fix, he'd get his research fix, everyone wins.

I was having a perfectly ordinary day and was checking in a perfectly ordinary guest. She told me she had a truck and a trailer and was asking about parking. Mounted on the wall where guests can see them are two security monitors displaying the feeds from our many cameras. They are handy for keeping an eye on the property, locating coworkers, and directing people with trailers on where to park. I turned to the monitors only to see a cop car had just pulled up out front and a second one was pulling into the parking lot.

I got a little worried because why the hell did something have to happen while I was checking someone in? I played it off with a joke saying, "I hope they're not here for you!" She laughed and didn't seem that concerned about the police, I directed her to the best spot to park, and then I saw the police car back out of its spot and go to leave so I thought oh, maybe it's nothing.

Except then a third pulls around the back and I see an officer get out and head towards the back door. We lock the door at night so I went to meet him. Humor is my only coping mechanism so I joked with him, "No offense, I don't really like seeing you guys when I haven't called you, is everything okay?"

He said it was, they were just investigating a theft from a smoke shop next door. Security cameras from the smoke shop showed the thief leaving the shop and walking into our parking lot. The cops know about our extensive camera set up, and wanted to see if we caught where the guy was going or if he was staying at the hotel. In my head, I'm like what kind of an idiot steals from a store right next to the hotel where he's staying? Well...

I pull up the feed and see the guy leave the smoke shop. He cuts through our lot and... heads towards a staircase. I switch which feed we're looking at to see where the guy goes and the answer is right into a room. When I say right next door, I mean right next door. I could have thrown a paper plane from his room and hit the smoke shop and I suck at making paper planes.

So the cop heads out to meet up with the other officers and I switch to a live feed of the camera so I can be nosy and watch the confrontation. I really didn't know what to expect. I'd checked the folks in the room in earlier, but didn't remember the guy I'd seen on the camera. He was also wearing a hood so not super identifiable. It was a large family who had checked in, and they got three rooms. The person paying had mentioned they had a family emergency and she had a sticker on her shirt identifying her as a visitor at a nearby hospital. They'd seemed like nice and normal folks.

The camera is positioned directly above the door, so I can see about half of what is going on as the cop knocks and identifies himself. Fortunately this also happens to be one of our only cameras with a working microphone so I'm also able to hear some of what they say. The thief answered the door with his hands up and his hood down and now that I can see him properly I realize why he thought this was a good idea. He was clearly a young teen. Fifteen, specifically, I'd learn later.

The confrontation was super anticlimactic, the kid immediately handed over what he'd stolen and I heard the police talking to someone else in the room about how he was going to call the boy's mom. The vehicle they'd arrived in wasn't there, so I'm guessing she was back at the hospital or something.

I was a little worried the family might come and cause a problem because we'd cooperated with the police, but they didn't. Whatever all happened, the police left shortly afterward and I was able to finish my shift in peace.