u/nosebearnosebear

This is my first time trying heatless curl with heatless curl rods. Usually I use small hair rollers. For context, my hair is naturally wavy (2a), coarse, and quite a lot. When I use hair rollers, I usually leave them for 3-4hrs before going out. The blowout style can stay for 1 day before my hair goes back to its original wave. So I thought I'd do the same with this heatless curl rods and see how long the curl will stay.

I saw tiktok videos where they only use 3 rods for their whole hair so at first I only bought 3. As it turns out, not only did I get smaller rods (the usual marketplace photo scam), my hair is also too thick for only 3 rods. In the end I bought another 3 and used 6 in total. After 4 hours, my first impression was... I didn't like it lol. The curls kinda go here and there unruly. Idk if I rolled wrong (I rolled the same way like I do my hair rollers), but it just doesn't look as good as what I saw on most videos in tiktok. It only worked when I part my hair to the sides. I had to go out so I put my hair in half up with claw clip. When I got back home 2hrs later, the curls had loosen up and I actually kinda liked it.

I wanna try to leave the rods longer but I'm afraid if I leave it any longer, the curls will end up even crazier, and will take longer to loosen up lol. Anyone who's done heatless curl rods, any tips? Did I roll wrong? I roll mostly inward btw.

P.s. this was done on freshly dried hair after wash (shampoo only).

Chocolate and vanilla scoop

Smiling through the pain 🥲 ice cream is practically my best friend right now

Gonna have the best food coma ever

I was 4 she was 6. Now I'm 30 and she's 32. She lives abroad and I miss her a lot, but she's still my best friend and best partner in crime <3

34yrs of marriage 🎉 Dad was 32, mom was 24. Now he's 65, mom's 57.

Gonna go for a swim today 🏊‍♂️

I came across this in r/askmen and thought I'd share here. Original post about what are some things women do in early stage is a red flag. User was offended over the tone (?) of the other user if I got it right, that apparently warrants harrassment.

The parent comment is how a girl got upset if he didn't text fast enough and the relationship didn't last long.

OP comment responding to parent comment

Highlight

> I had a friend like this. She would send me texts that weren’t even urgent like “Prince Philip died” and I took a couple days to reply because I was super busy and also depressed, and then she told me she needs “space to rethink our friendship and decide if she thinks it’s worth continuing.” I should have blocked her then and there, but I waited and a week later she said this wasn’t a friendship worth having. Absolutely ridiculous how entitled people are to others’ time.

>> This isn't about being entitled to other's times, it's about different texting style. Some people text a lot and some don't, like how some people talk a lot and some don't. She wanted to talk to you over unimportant things via texts too and you don't. She realized you're not the type that text a lot and she knew she couldn't be friends with you and she said so. That is a good enough way to end friendship rather than ghosting or secretly hating you. Idk why you're upset, she did you a favor. You two clearly aren't good match at friends.

>>> “Idk why you’re upset” - maybe read what I wrote instead of being so damn snarky? It’s shitty fucking behavior on her end, especially when I was going through an awful time in my life and my dad died. Waiting a day or two for a response is not unreasonable.

>>>> I see why she cut the friendship now. You did not specify your dad died in your OC, you just said you were depressed. I'm sorry you went through that, but losing relationship over depression is bound to happen. As someone who went through depression, I know. It's shit, but it's reality. You don't owe her your time, and she doesn't owe you her time either. To her, you did not show up when she expected you to, whatever the reason might be, and she knew she did not want to deal with whatever you were going through. We cannot expect people to always understand what we're going through, and we especially cannot expect people to show up for us when we don't always show up for them. Again, if she ended friendship over it, it's a shitty thing, but she also did you a favor. She was also being very clear and upfront in ending it instead of trashing you to other people and make a bigger drama over it. So again, Idk why you're *still* upset over it. When you grow beyond misery, you come to understand people who left you during your hardest time really aren't worth to be offended over. They simply don't matter.

>>>>> You could make your point without sounding so dismissive. Saying “Idk why you’re upset” and “I see why she cut the friendship now” is bitchy af. You don’t have to be that fucking rude. Edit: you can downvote me as much as you want. I don’t give a shit. You are so rude, truly. You sound like a very smug person, and you’re incredibly condescending. If you would like to make your point, you can do so without your patronizing behavior. You’re making a lot of assumptions and putting words in my mouth, and you didn’t understand the dynamic of the friendship at all. I was explaining context, not asking for a lecture.

OP's last comment to the other user with lots of downvotes

OP responding to another comment making it about the argument with the other user

>Expecting an immediate text response is an anxiety issue that is reinforced by texting. Dating anxious people is terrible in my experience. They create problems they manufacture in their minds that have no reflexion on reality.

>> Thanks for saying that. u /daysof_I seems to think I’m just some asshole that thinks I owe no one my time. I was just saying I won’t text back immediately for incredibly small stuff when I’m dealing with a stressful job and a dead father. I really didn’t like her tone saying “I don’t know why you’re upset” and “I see why she cut off the friendship now.” The condescension is horrible.

The other user said OP had DM-ed her to kill herself

> Men freak out when women don't communicate, and then some men also freak out when we do. This girl evaluated their communication styles and came to the conclusion they weren't compatible, and then relayed that in a decent enough way. Seems this guy is upset that she came to a conclusion that he didn't like. I'd rather end a friendship before things get serious over something that will bother me frequently enough to matter, than to try to stick it out and allow resentment to fester. To me, that's logical and kind to both parties.

>> OC accused me of downvoting their responds to hell before blocking me it seems. Now I can't see their comments anymore lol. I mean as far as friendship goes, yes it's a shitty thing to dump a friend just because they did not reply right away especially when they were going through hard times. But if they live with the concept of "I don't owe anyone my time", then they shouldn't be surprised others do the same to them. Idk how their friendship dynamic goes but clearly OC haven't moved on from said hurt. Hope for the best for OC honestly. Edit: update, apparently OC had messaged me to [kill myself](https://imgur.com/a/RB7O57G) lol

OP went on a rant in response to the same comment to defend herself again

> I’m not a man. I also wasn’t upset about the conclusion, I was upset about her execution of it all. The friendship was already serious for years, and because I was finally starting my career, deep in depression over everything including dealing with my dead father, I no longer had the time to communicate to this person the way she expected me to because she was unemployed and spent her time online lecturing people about anti-racism and the patriarchy and saying weird shit like “death to the imperial countries.” I just didn’t really have time to waste on performative activism, and was dealing with serious things in my life, like paying rent in a huge city on time.

> My problem with the woman who replied to me isn’t her message, it’s that she said “I don’t know why you’re upset” and “I see why your friendship ended.” It was so unnecessarily snarky. You can make your point without being so condescending you know? Like it costs zero dollars to not be a dick. Of course people seemed to disagree with my take on her tone, but we’re on Reddit so it’s whatever.

>But anyway, I was upset with how my former friend ended things. I gave her a call one day because I’m better at calls than texts, and I told her I was getting married. Her response? “You’re getting married? You couldn’t text that to me? I don’t understand friendships where calling just happens out of the blue. I need to think about how I want to process with this friendship but until then I’m not speaking to you.” I respected that, so I waited for like a week when she finally said, “I’ve made up my mind and I don’t want this friendship anymore.” All this after YEARS of friendship and after telling her I got engaged.

> But of course the other woman who replied to me thought it was okay to patronize me and then everyone thought I was the asshole for being upset about how rude she was. That’s the story. There was a lot more to it, but people just assumed I was a dick about things. I’m allowed to be upset at friendships that ended a certain way. I also don’t live by the concept of “I don’t owe anyone my time.” It’s more I don’t owe people immediate responses to trivial shit. That doesn’t make me a bad person. That doesn’t mean the woman who replied to me can feel happy saying things like “I see why she cut the friendship off now.” What an awful thing to say when you don’t even know the situation.