u/othermegan

I should have learned my lesson last year when my husband procrastinated on installing our AC units and left me to get heatstroke during a 105° heatwave while he worked in an air conditioned office. But I didn’t.

So here we are, our second heatwave of the year. In my mind, it’s still too early for ACs to be installed because I want to capitalize on the cooler days to have the windows open. But after the first heatwave earlier this spring, I told my husband that we needed to get one of those standing fans for my office because it is a tiny, closet-like room with zero airflow or ceiling fan and you can feel the 5-10° difference by just walking out into the hallway. I am also historically intolerant of the heat and am currently pregnant. He said he was on board, just find one and we’ll talk about it. I looked online because I wanted one of those quiet, standing fans that oscillate (I’m on calls all day) but according to him, $50-70 is too much.

We’re in heatwave number 2 now and it’s currently 90° in my office. In a desperate attempt, I look on marketplace. Someone has a fan similar to the style I’m looking for. $25 cash, can be picked up now, 2 miles away. I go to my husband and say, “hey, this guy has a fan like the expensive ones we looked at but significantly less. Are you cool with me buying it and would you be willing to pick it up today for me since I have meetings for the rest of the afternoon?”

Here’s where he went from being annoyingly frugal to rage-inducing cheap. First he asks, “you really want this?” I remind him I’ve been talking about getting a fan for weeks. Then he asks, “and you want me to pick it up for you?” Well yeah… I’m dying in here and have back to back meetings for the rest of the day. “So this is the one you want to get?” Well it’s the only one available at a price you’re willing to pay. And it’s local. But I’d rather buy a new one. And the questions start to repeat themselves over and over with the only break in the repetition is him saying “I don’t see why you can’t just use one of the box fans from the garage.”

Eventually I just stormed out saying no I don’t want the fan and I don’t want him to get it so just forget I even brought it up. But, of course, that was met with a “what? I was just asking!”

For someone who hasn’t worked for the last 7 months and is dragging his feet on actually submitting for his unemployment payments, he has some pretty big opinions when it comes to me wanting to spend a small bit of the money I bring in on my own comfort.

I have been gluten free for the last 3 years for medical reasons. Our wedding was gluten free, my baby shower was gluten free, every holiday we have with his family they make something gluten free. This is not news to anyone. I have also had a severe shellfish allergy since I was 10. So, again… not new news.

There was a funeral yesterday and his aunt held a luncheon after at her house. I didn’t have time to eat before because the whole thing was right in the middle of nap time and my husband was reading. So I spent what would have been “lunch time” unsuccessfully fighting to try and get a toddler down early.

We decided we were going to skip the luncheon after because she didn’t nap. I’m still so confused as to what happened but somehow we ended up there anyways. Appetizers come out and there’s salad, fried broccoli bite things, cocktail shrimp, and chicken wings marinated in beer.

The main courses come out and there’s chicken in a sauce thickened by flour, battered and fried fish, and shrimp & rice.

As I’m looking over the entree options, his aunt and mom say “oh you can’t eat the chicken or fish but you can eat rice, right?” I said, “yeah I can eat rice but I’m allergic to shellfish.”

His aunt rolls his eyes and says “so what CAN you eat?” At which point his cousin pipes up and says, “you can have some of the chicken nuggets we’re making for the kids.”

Like, I would happily eat the chicken if you used cornstarch instead of flour. Or the fish if you didn’t fry it. Or the wings if you just grilled them like a normal human instead of marinating them in beer.

But no, I get snarky comments about being a picky eater and to chase around an overtired toddler for 6 hours on nothing but salad mix and blueberries. Also, who holds a 6 HOUR post-funeral lunch- especially when there are going to be multiple toddlers and babies there?!?

When we had our first, we had no idea what we were doing and didn’t start the daycare process until she was 5 months old (my husband had 2 months left on leave). We ended up on a daycare waitlist that was 12 months long.

Fast forward and we are pregnant with number 2. I’m 4 months along. We are planning on splitting our leaves again to have 7 months at home with the baby. We officially put our daycare request in for baby number 2. I figure if I have another 5 months until term and then we have 7 months of leave, we should be good, right?

NOPE. Our new spot isn’t open until 2028. Our baby will be a toddler by the time they start. Which means I need to figure out a plan for 9 months of childcare. With our oldest, we used my in laws, but family situations have changed and they have their hands full with our niece and my SIL’s dogs so that’s not an option.

At this point, if we decide to have a third, I’m just going to reserve a spot once we start trying. If I wasn’t the breadwinner, I’d quit today and be a SAHM because I’m left with no other option.

As I sit here with my toddler screaming and crying because I cannot humanly pour milk into her cereal fast enough and there’s a piece of her dinner she didn’t want within her eyesight, I have to wonder…

Did Mary deal with this stuff? Did toddler Jesus go through picky phases where everything you offered Him was met with “no!”? Was He inconsolable until you deciphered his baby gibberish? Did she live that season of life where it feels like you’re always trying to play catchup because every time she tried to get a chore done, He’d get into something He wasn’t supposed to? Was there a time in life she had to share every single food on her plate to get Him to eat? I know for toddlers it’s not misbehaving. It’s just trying to understand the world around them. Was Jesus the same way?

Did Mary get to enjoy the backwards lap sits? The delight of hearing her toddler toddler singing songs to Himself? What did it sound like to hear that little voice say “I love you?”

I know Jesus is fully God, but He is also fully human. And I can’t help but wonder if He was the perfect unicorn child or your average 2 year old.