u/potentialgranny64

during 14-20, I literally looked pretty chopped and I was literally a ghost despite me trying to make friends or just talk to people in general. tried going on those chatting sites because I was bored out of my mind and this girl literally bursted out laughing looking at me and I was just like “damn🥲”

so it just reached a point of hating the way I looked so I took it upon myself to go to the gym to lose my weight and took better care of myself. fast forward a year and a half, I actually look somewhat attractive.

the difference of the attention people are giving me is wayy different then what it was before. there’s women who actually pay attention to me, and people tend to be more friendly with me.

all I wanted to say, das crazy.

I get up, and the first thing I think of is just dreading the fact that I got to live another day, which I should be grateful to live man, but shoot. I don’t know how to. I don’t even wanna exist.

get a job and then what? get money and then what? get a girlfriend and then what? life just feels so pointless, but does there really need to be a point? I don’t know fucking know, I just wanna feel okay for once in my life.

I should start by quitting alcohol. maybe then, I’ll feel some sort of control over my life.

If I’m ever in a relationship going forward, I just wanna make sure that they know how to keep their composer if I’m staying with them. I’m literally always staying calm when something gets heated and just usually try to calm the situation down, well her on the other hand is going crazy yelling while practically spitting on my face.

I’m just glad to be outta there, and something to definitely look out for in the future.

composure *

I just keep waking up to the same thing everyday, and I can’t help but think that there’s no real point to me living. It feels so hard to break out of this cycle, and I know what I should be doing, it’s just that I’m not doing it. It’s a choice to keep living, but I also don’t want to die. I just want to feel some sort of purpose or just some relief from the way I feel.

I really just want out of this life. I don’t get how people even keep on living, are they happy? are they just choosing to keep living because they feel they have no choice? have they found some sort of purpose? I’m not even sure.

I’m not talking about a remake, but like an actual new game. I always wanted to see a new splinter cell game but it just feels like they abandoned splinter cell as a whole🥲

whenever that remake gets released though, I hope they introduce a multiplayer mode on there instead of just the campaign. I feel like it would be a missed opportunity to not add a multiplayer mode…

I had always grew up playing conviction so naturally that was my favourite game that I played. I never tried a new splinter cell game until like 8 years later, and that game was called blacklist. I always wanted to try it but I just never got around to it.

anyways, I finally tried this game and it just felt so different compared to conviction and it just had way more new things about it, and the movement also didn’t feel as clunky. controls were also way better as well.

I finally got a taste of what stealth actually felt like, but I feel that I haven’t got the full experience until I finally try out chaos theory. I’m gonna try chaos theory soon.

I’m not going to explain the dream but I was in grade 9 at the time and haven’t really experienced sexual pleasure like that before, and so when I woke up I was like “wtf? did I just piss myself? why did it feel good tho?”

I went to the washroom and yeah you know. that was the first time I’ve ever experienced nutting.

this is the first and last nsfw post I’ll ever post.

I already went there for them to fix the issue of my cast being so fucking tight and now I’m back home, and now I’m beginning to face the same issue that they just finished fixing bro.

holy shit, I’m just tryna chill out and wait for my next appointment. can they please just do this right am. ffs.

now I gotta go alll the way back there just to get this redone and I gotta wait another 5+ hrs bro. cmon.