u/pumpernickle_bread

hi! i'm 17, and the title says it all.

i'm a really social person and i love talking to people but i guess i'm not pretty enough for guys my age.

today i was on the bus and i was helping this older guy with the buses and he told me stories and asked what i was doing in school.

somewhere in the conversation he mentioned he's from BC and told me i should go to BC to model. i laughed and said thank you.

it was obviously a friendly joke, and i took it as such. but i always get comments from older guys like that.

i swear i'm not a pick me and i don't dress or act in any seductive way, i do initiate friendly conversations though, so call me a slut, i guess.

i really don't mind the comments, sometimes they're creepy but i always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

now this whole post just sound like i'm looking for attention, and i am, but i'm only getting it from older guys.

i hate this whole non chalant thing that people do and how everyone thinks everything is so cringe and embarrassing and they're too cool for small talk or don't wanna lose aura.

fuck off.

current situation, please read to the end, the beginning is just context:

my dad was invited to a wedding, he wanted to go, my mom also wanted to go.

my dad kept asking my mom if she was sure she wanted to go

my mom said "for the past 3 weeks, every 2 days, you ask if i wanna go"

my dad made multiple excuses "you weren't feeling well!" "your work starts then." "your uncle died recently, it won't look good if you go."

this upset my mom and made her think that my dad doesn't want her to go, my dad is denying this saying he wanted her to go.

my mom broke and said she didn't wanna go "take the kids and go"

my dad then cancelled the whole trip

(for context we live in a small town in alberta lol, the wedding was in a bigger city where my dad would get to see his brothers)

my dad has been really upset about this whole thing because he really wanted to go, therefore he's been ignoring my mom, and when he needs something from her he's just rude about it.

my dad has been looking for "activities" for us to do in town since we missed out on the wedding

since we were going to a bigger city, he had stuff planned out.

but of course, he blames this on my mom, saying she's the reason we can't have fun.

(keep in mind he's the only person whos mad about it)

this strikes an argument and i encourage them to talk it out.

yelling, arguing, pointing fingers.

yesterday my dad was being petty and put up some pictures (text he typed) to remind us that the wedding was soon and we were going to miss it because of my mom.

he was getting mad when we tried to take them down.

i again stepped in and told him that this was unnecessary and that he needed to talk it out with my mother.

except im really just summarizing everything because maybe i was provoking him, i was asking what he was gaining from this, and other questions until my mom chimed in and they start arguing again. which is what i wanted because the house hasn't been so nice with them like this and they havent figured anything out.

during this argument, my mom had extremely valid and personal points (i hate both my parents and im more likely to side with my dad, so i'm not being biased here)

my dad lost the plot "i don't remember that, it doesn't matter" and other things to get her off his back.

none of them swore at each other but my mom tried to bring up something and when she did my dad repeatedly said "shut. your. mouth!" and saying he didn't want to talk about it in front of the kids.

my mom brought it up again and he stood up and got in her face (both of them furious) and yelling, and then my mom said "punch me, come on, hit me"

my dad said "don't bring it up, do you understand?" (about the topic he didnt want us to hear)

after a long and intimidating stare down, my mom said yes.

but then she said "i dare you, hit me"

my dad said, "ha, no, you already said yes"

which made me think that he would've hit my mom if she didn't say yes..

for context, i have no knowledge of my dad hitting my mom (my parents don't hit us either)

more arguing, more back and forth, towards the end, my mom said "don't worry, i'm thinking of something too." i don't know how to explain it, but from the feel of everything going on, it sounded like she was thinking of divorce.

now, i know that's no concrete evidence, but everything has been piling up over the last while:

- my dad mentioned twice that he was going to begin recording my mother, for "proof"

- when my dad put up the printed text, my mom took pictures of it, in front of him.

everything has been really tense between them (i'm excluding a lot of personal details)

both times they argued was because i initiated it, i thought they would understand eachothers perspectives and sort things out, but adults don't like to admit they're wrong.

for context, i'm 17 with 3 younger siblings, both my parents are too cocky and prideful so no one is managing the house rn...

like i've been arguing with my little sister telling her to go to sleep and shes telling me she's allowed on her laptop at night by herself... (she is not)

and i don't wanna wake my parents because they are gonna argue and get mad at eachother and blame eachother about "you don't know how to raise kids or set rules in this house"

(this is a really cut down version that's missing a lot of details.)

i understand i shouldn't be getting involved but this whole situation isn't benefitting anyone.

i get that i should just shut up from now on but things will only get worse.

sorry if this is messy, i'm lowk just typing

i applied to McDonald's 2 weeks ago, got an interview set up, it got cancelled at 11:30 PM. the next morning (6:00am) i checked my emails and whatnot and figured out about my cancelled interview, i got another email to reschedule but all the dates and times were already taken, i was then redirected to a "wait a moment" page.

i checked and checked and checked, long story short, my interview was today.

when i got there a worker gave me a page to fill out, something you'd fill out on indeed

number, email, date of birth, postal code, availability, work experience, etc etc.

i filled it in and gave it to the front and the manager came to "interview me"

she did not ask me a single interview question, none of that "why do you wanna work here?" "what are your strengths and weaknesses" nothing, all she did is ask about my availability, and she asked if i could work more to which i said yes, she said "i'll check our availability and get back to you later, thanks"

that was it.

she called maybe an hour after to ask if i could work 3 consecutive days as well as a more flexible schedule, i told her i would have to look at my calendar and i'd let her know.

i called her back and i was just making sure of things and she literally said "i'm looking at other applicants at the moment, we will let you know if you get hired"

without me even getting the chance to tell her that i CAN work in alignment with her schedule.

i don't even think i'm getting the job, i'm seriously irritated.

__________________________

edit: i'm 17 and just starting college, gosh.

_________________________

edit #2: yesterday (the day this was posted) was my first day of college

- when i filled out the application form, i told her i wasn't available on school days, and i told her i was available every other day.

- when i was called back after the interview, she asked if i could work 3 consecutive days, all my available days didn't happen to be 3 consecutive days, so i had to check and see if i was able to work before and after my classes.

- she also asked if i was available to work up until 10:00pm

- i told her i'd get back to her because i 1. had to check what school days i could work (as i was not planning on working school days) and 2. check with my parents about timing as i am 17 and wasn't sure how my parents felt about me working up until 10 pm.

- i am female, for some reason everyone assumed i am a guy, i don't really care though.

- i did mention that i missed the bus twice, and i did try to start small talk with her about it during the interview

- i was NOT LATE FOR THE INTERVIEW, I WAS THERE EARLY

- transportation is not an issue, i live right next to the mcdonalds.

- i am not racist

thanks to everyone who explained where i went wrong, sorry for using profanity or coming across as rude, these comments weren't very kind and i was really irritated, i'm sorry.

i don't want to parent my sister.

probably sounds dramatic that i asked how to parent a child that isn't mine, but yesterday my 9 year old sister told me that i'm no longer a sister to her, i'm a stranger.

i'm 17, i turn 18 soon, and being at home is an absolute wreck. no one is respected or respects anyone. i try to mediate things at home and i'm always encouraging everyone to be nice to each other, but before i stepped in there was no mediator, so me saying "let's be nice" is apparently very comical and i get mocked for it.

my youngest sister has become increasingly disrespectful. she's yelling at everyone, mom, dad, me, siblings. arguing with everyone, and becoming physically aggressive.

my parents don't seem to care much. at least my mom doesn't. my dad works long shifts and is hardly home.

there is absolutely no structure at home. no bedtime, no rules, it's basically the law of the jungle.

she also likes to boss me around. my younger sister likes to tell people what to do by yelling things like, "go eat right now!"

she picks this up from my mom, but that's something i can't stop.

i try to really get in her head and understand where she's coming from. i know what it's like to be the youngest and want to feel like you have some kind of control or authority, especially when everyone can tell you what to do because you're little and you just have to listen.

but it's become a problem. the way she talks to people is genuinely so rude, and i'm afraid to say that it might have something to do with her watching youtube shorts all day.

which brings me to my next point.

in canada, these kids don't start school for another 3 weeks, so she wakes up, watches youtube shorts for hours, eats breakfast late, comes back and watches youtube shorts for hours again. that's literally all that happens in a day. and she watches yt shorts up until 12:00 am.

i sound so fucking old saying this, but when i was a kid we had a bedtime. me and my siblings would strategically figure out what we wanted to watch and if we had enough time to watch it before BEDTIME.

with my sister, it's her way or the highway.

her bedtime was 10:00 pm, then it stretched to 10:30, then 11:00, then 11:30 because apparently it's summer and there is no reason to wake up early. whenever i'd say "we have to go to sleep now," i'd just get completely ignored.

i have 2 other sisters who will get up and go brush their teeth for bed, but the youngest one just keeps doing whatever she's doing.

there's just no reasoning with her.

i say, "c'mon, let's go to sleep."

"why?"

"because it's bedtime."

"i don't want to."

"c'mon."

"leave me alone."

"i just want you to get ready for bed."

"i can't hear my video, go away."

"can you please just get ready for bed?"

"stop."

"why don't you go to sleep?"

i can't ask her to do anything without getting a rude response.

my current issue is her coming into my room.

i share a room with one of my sisters and i'm not allowed to close the door. i don't complain, the door stays open. being practically an adult, i do appreciate some privacy, but my little sister comes into my room and won't leave.

i've tried ignoring her. i've asked if she needed anything. i've explained that i want privacy. but she does it anyway, and sometimes it genuinely feels like she does it specifically to irritate me.

one time i was quietly crying in my room and this rat comes in, laughs at me, and then goes to the living room to announce that i'm crying.

she's allowed to come into my room, so i can't really do anything about it. i always remind her that i respect her enough to not disturb her privacy in her room, like she does to me.

and everything she says is based off of what she watches on yt. she has no personality, she just says brain rot and thinks she's cute. honestly, that part makes me really sad.

yesterday she said she was going to sleep, so i turned off the tv, but she didn't go to sleep. instead she yelled at me to go to sleep.

i stayed calm. honestly, everything at home has made me so unfazed that yelling doesn't even really affect me anymore.

she kept telling me to go to sleep, i said i was waiting for her to get to bed, she told me i'm gonna be waiting all night, and it was just a bunch of back and forth.

i wasn't trying to annoy her.

i'm just older, and there's always been this long lost rule that the oldest has to turn everything off and make sure everyone is in bed. she just kept arguing and yelling.

that's when i told her that i would be reinforcing a bedtime, and that i would be talking to dad about it because in her eyes i'm no person of authority.

she literally just said no.

and i actually don't have authority when it comes to her.

she doesn't take things seriously. even in dangerous situations, she doesn't listen. she argues, yells, mocks, and doesn't care what i say.

so it's really just a lost cause.

i personally don't have a good relationship with my parents, so talking to them about this is useless. it's a lot of "what's wrong with her doing that?" or just nothing happening at all.

and that's what i'm struggling with. i can't enforce rules that my parents don't enforce.

you're probably wondering what i've been doing all summer.

i was taking a course in the summer, and i start college soon. i have an interview soon. they start school a week after i start college.

and it's not an excuse. i could have made time to go play games with her. i could have helped her. i could have done a bunch more.

but it is not my job.

does that sound selfish?

does it sound selfish that i don't want to do something that i can do just because it's not my job?

because my mom did nothing this summer. she's a teacher, she's OFF during the summer. i was taking courses, sending out resumes, getting ready for school.

so do i sound selfish?

i'm just so terribly exhausted, but i'm not here to talk about my life. i'm genuinely worried about my sister.

part of me just wants to give up on this because i don't have time for this, but another part of me feels maternally guilty even though it's not my fault.

i don't yell at her, and i don't want to. i don't believe yelling or hitting conveys anything in the right way.

i also don't want to involve professionals or counsellors because my family wouldn't take that well.

i just can't handle this mentally.

i try to be her safe haven because no one at home is respectful or kind. there are days where she comes and vents to me and talks to me, and i want her to feel like she can do that. but there are more days when she hurts me, yells, and argues with me.

i genuinely don't feel treated nicely by her.

does it sound stupid that i don't like how my 9 year old sister is treating me?

i know she's nine. i know she's a kid. i know she's not going to act like an adult and i don't expect her to.

but it's mentally exhausting trying to be nice to someone while continuously being disrespected and hurt.

i'm planning on moving out soon, which is why i also don't want to take on some huge responsibility for fixing this. i'm going to be leaving, and i don't think it's fair for me to suddenly become her parent right before i leave.

at the same time, i don't want to just give up on her.

i don't want to parent my sister.

i want to be her sister.

i want to have a good relationship with her, and i want her to know that she can come to me when she needs someone. i just don't know how to do that when i'm also constantly being treated like shit by her.

so i'd appreciate advice, and criticism too. am i being selfish? am i expecting too much from a 9 year old? how do i support my sister without becoming her parent when my actual parents aren't really doing much?

i'm genuinely just exhausted and don't know what i'm supposed to do.

i've tried my absolute hardest to move out but i'm 17, and my only "legal" option is to stay with a friend. believe me i've done it all, i contacted the shelter, 211, OCYA, i went the police station, spoke to victims services, they again contacted the shelter, i'm out of luck, and i don't want to talk about my trauma.

my dad has made everything remarkably harder for me, he took my phone and is super controlling

(i turn 18 in december, for context)

i start college end of august, my schedule is super free and flexible so i asked if i could get a job, to which my dad agreed, this was literally a miracle because he never let me have a job before.

but there's a catch

despite him making 3 billion rules about "you can't work on weekends!" "you can only work in the plaza next to our house!" and just making more rules every time he senses i'm becoming independent, there was another catch.

every. single. dollar. i. make. goes. into. a. joint. investments. account

that was the catch, if i didn't agree, i couldn't get a job, so i agreed.

then there were more rules:

if i mention dropping out of college: i lose the money

if i focus on work more than college: i lose the money

i'm not allowed to take out the money

(losing the money means my dad's gonna take my money and give it to my siblings so i can't say he took the money, i'm dealing with a manipulator.)

we go to the bank, lady at the bank says i have to be 18 to create an investments or savings account, i was thankful, but then she says she can still create a joint account with my father.

so now i have an account, joint with my father, and that's where all my money goes, he can see it, he is capable of taking it all out even though i'm the primary owner of the account.

now, i want to move out, i've been trying for years, and i can't wait long, i literally have 1 day.

my dad said since he can't create an investments account, he's going to open a tfsa account for me the day after i turn 18, he has reminders set and everything.

so now i have to wait until my 18th birthday so i can go to the bank and take my own money and move out.

but there's a catch, my dad has all my banking information, passwords, everything, it sucks, but i had no choice, he's just controlling.

so i thought about opening a bank account at a different bank, so i can transfer/deposit the money from rbc to cibc.

now, i'm able to create a new bank account at 17, and i'm also able to take out my money, but there's a catch, you need 2 forms of ID.

why would this be a catch you may ask? i'm not allowed to have my ID's, i have stuff written down but none of it is valid enough to open a bank account. i currently luckily have my alberta health card, which counts as a form of ID, but i won't have it for long (i have frequent doctor appointments, and my alberta health card is needed, my dad forgot to take it back from me so i still have it, but only until my next appointment which is in like 4 days)

and i won't have my health card for long, without id i can't do anything at the bank. i am old enough to replace my id's but they take your address and it's a whole process that i'm scared of my parents figuring out.

what should i do?

i appreciate any advice and criticism!

i've tried my absolute hardest to move out but i'm 17, and my only "legal" option is to stay with a friend. believe me i've done it all, i contacted the shelter, 211, OCYA, i went the police station, spoke to victims services, they again contacted the shelter, i'm out of luck, and i don't want to talk about my trauma.

my dad has made everything remarkably harder for me, he took my phone and is super controlling

(i turn 18 in december, for context)

i start college end of august, my schedule is super free and flexible so i asked if i could get a job, to which my dad agreed, this was literally a miracle because he never let me have a job before.

but there's a catch

despite him making 3 billion rules about "you can't work on weekends!" "you can only work in the plaza next to our house!" and just making more rules every time he senses i'm becoming independent, there was another catch.

every. single. dollar. i. make. goes. into. a. joint. investments. account

that was the catch, if i didn't agree, i couldn't get a job, so i agreed.

then there were more rules:

if i mention dropping out of college: i lose the money

if i focus on work more than college: i lose the money

i'm not allowed to take out the money

(losing the money means my dad's gonna take my money and give it to my siblings so i can't say he took the money, i'm dealing with a manipulator.)

we go to the bank, lady at the bank says i have to be 18 to create an investments or savings account, i was thankful, but then she says she can still create a joint account with my father.

so now i have an account, joint with my father, and that's where all my money goes, he can see it, he is capable of taking it all out even though i'm the primary owner of the account.

now, i want to move out, i've been trying for years, and i can't wait long, i literally have 1 day.

my dad said since he can't create an investments account, he's going to open a tfsa account for me the day after i turn 18, he has reminders set and everything.

so now i have to wait until my 18th birthday so i can go to the bank and take my own money and move out.

but there's a catch, my dad has all my banking information, passwords, everything, it sucks, but i had no choice, he's just controlling.

so i thought about opening a bank account at a different bank, so i can transfer/deposit the money from rbc to cibc.

now, i'm able to create a new bank account at 17, and i'm also able to take out my money, but there's a catch, you need 2 forms of ID.

why would this be a catch you may ask? i'm not allowed to have my ID's, i have stuff written down but none of it is valid enough to open a bank account. i currently luckily have my alberta health card, which counts as a form of ID, but i won't have it for long (i have frequent doctor appointments, and my alberta health card is needed, my dad forgot to take it back from me so i still have it, but only until my next appointment which is in like 4 days)

and i won't have my health card for long, without id i can't do anything at the bank. i am old enough to replace my id's but they take your address and it's a whole process that i'm scared of my parents figuring out.

what should i do?

i appreciate any advice and criticism!

i've tried my absolute hardest to move out but i'm 17, and my only "legal" option is to stay with a friend. believe me i've done it all, i contacted the shelter, 211, OCYA, i went the police station, spoke to victims services, they again contacted the shelter, i'm out of luck, and i don't want to talk about my trauma.

my dad has made everything remarkably harder for me, he took my phone and is super controlling

(i turn 18 in december, for context)

i start college end of august, my schedule is super free and flexible so i asked if i could get a job, to which my dad agreed, this was literally a miracle because he never let me have a job before.

but there's a catch

despite him making 3 billion rules about "you can't work on weekends!" "you can only work in the plaza next to our house!" and just making more rules every time he senses i'm becoming independent, there was another catch.

every. single. dollar. i. make. goes. into. a. joint. investments. account

that was the catch, if i didn't agree, i couldn't get a job, so i agreed.

then there were more rules:

if i mention dropping out of college: i lose the money

if i focus on work more than college: i lose the money

i'm not allowed to take out the money

(losing the money means my dad's gonna take my money and give it to my siblings so i can't say he took the money, i'm dealing with a manipulator.)

we go to the bank, lady at the bank says i have to be 18 to create an investments or savings account, i was thankful, but then she says she can still create a joint account with my father.

so now i have an account, joint with my father, and that's where all my money goes, he can see it, he is capable of taking it all out even though i'm the primary owner of the account.

now, i want to move out, i've been trying for years, and i can't wait long, i literally have 1 day.

my dad said since he can't create an investments account, he's going to open a tfsa account for me the day after i turn 18, he has reminders set and everything.

so now i have to wait until my 18th birthday so i can go to the bank and take my own money and move out.

but there's a catch, my dad has all my banking information, passwords, everything, it sucks, but i had no choice, he's just controlling.

so i thought about opening a bank account at a different bank, so i can transfer/deposit the money from rbc to cibc.

now, i'm able to create a new bank account at 17, and i'm also able to take out my money, but there's a catch, you need 2 forms of ID.

why would this be a catch you may ask? i'm not allowed to have my ID's, i have stuff written down but none of it is valid enough to open a bank account. i currently luckily have my alberta health card, which counts as a form of ID, but i won't have it for long (i have frequent doctor appointments, and my alberta health card is needed, my dad forgot to take it back from me so i still have it, but only until my next appointment which is in like 4 days)

and i won't have my health card for long, without id i can't do anything at the bank. i am old enough to replace my id's but they take your address and it's a whole process that i'm scared of my parents figuring out.

what should i do?

i appreciate any advice and criticism!

i'm 17, my dad is a super controlling guy...

after lots and lots of crying and begging he let me get a job, i have an interview on the 15th for a crew level position at mcdonalds, lol.

when i was looking for a job my dad kept on restricting and restricting my job search "it has to be in the plaza next to our house"

what are the chances of me getting a job in a busy plaza, why am i confining myself to the plaza!?

anywho, because my dad is a control freak he had to have a buckle-up conversation with me about getting a job.

the rules are:

1. every dollar i make goes into a joint investments account, with him, so he makes sure i don't take the money out. (by the way i dont have any sort of history relating to me taking my own money or anything..)

2. if i take the money out, he takes all the money and gives it to my siblings (this was his way of making sure i dont take the money.. again i've never taken my own money before lol)

3. if i even hint at wanting to drop out of college/not finish college, he takes the money out and gives it to my siblings.

he made sure i agree to the rules to protect his own butt later, i did, because him letting me get a job in the first place was really generous. just makes me sad that my dad has to treat me this way when all my friends had jobs in highschool and bought lunch and gifts with their own money, and i'm going to college, getting a job, and i can't touch my own money...

now it get's worse, i don't have a phone, my dad took it away 3 months ago permanently... holy control freak..

so now i'm going to college and getting a job with no phone...

i don't want to sound like a phone addict, but him taking my phone away ruined my life and made me lose touch with reality... my last month of highschool, no phone, don't know what time it is, don't know where my friends are, can't text them, don't know when the bus comes, thinking i missed the bus, didn't get to see my friends on graduation because i couldn't find them, i couldn't text them, everyone i formed a relationship with that i wanna hug and say goodbye to was just gone and i have no photos with them to commemorate anything, yeah, phone addict, sure.

final boss ahh issue: despite all this there are many other ways that my dad has made my life terrible, i want to move out, i'm stuck.

with no phone it's really hard to do anything, i plan to open a new bank account, get a phone with a line, find a cheap room to rent, but i don't know how to go about it all because he wont approve of me doing any of that.

and previously i have done everything in my power to move out with support but everyone told me to wait until 18 (i turn 18 in december)

by everyone i mean; the youth shelter, 211, a local church that offers housing support, ocya, the police station, victim services, everything.

i'm open to any and all criticism!

Editing this whole thing because its become a long rant.

I'm 17, i turn 18 in december, i need to move out, whether it's now or when i turn 18.

I only have $800 saved and i can't get a job (dad won't let me). Arrangements to live with friends wont work out unfortunately. (no phone, hard to communicate, dont wanna crash at a random persons house)

I don't have a phone because my dad took it away. (and won't give it back)

When i had my phone, i contacted 211 for support, they gave me a bunch of resources but nothing that fit my situation.

after he took it away i've been secretly reaching out.

I contacted the OCYA (office of the child and youth advocate thing) to which i was just told to get a job more or less (can't get a job btw)

Then I emailed the local youth shelter (over a month ago now) and I didnt get a response from them at alll.

kids help phone doesnt really do much

I contacted a church in town that helps with housing for homeless people (im not homeless, but i'm desperate)- no reply

Update 1: i went to the police station recently (i live closer to the police station then the shelter) and i asked to talk to a social worker, stayed there for about 3 hours, they called the youth shelter (same youth shelter that didnt reply to me) and the youth shelter said they can take me in but when they do they have to contact my parents for them to consent to me staying there (there's no chance of my parents consenting)

The wonderful lady i spoke to tried her hardest to think of solutions that wouldn't make this more complicated for me but nothing really worked out.

I really need advice right now, I accept any and all criticism!

hi i really really need advice right now. this might sound dramatic, i'm sorry, it might be.

i'm 17, i turn 18 in december, i need to move out, whether it's now or when i turn 18.

i only have $800 saved and i can't get a job (dad won't let me). before everything got 10x worse, my ex boyfriend (current bf at the time) and mom knew about my situation and offered to take care of me/help me if i ever decided that i couldn't stay at home, both lovely people but unfortunately my boyfriend broke up with me. i also had a friend who was willing to let me stay but there were some family issues and we were back to ground 0. i decided that i have to get my shit together and i called 211, the youth shelter, and some youth programs. the youth shelter is short term and i'm not being physically abused so my situation isn't high risk. deleted the calls and messages so my parents dont find out. 

a month ago my dad took my phone away, for unrelated reasons but he's super upset and doesn't plan to give it back because i broke his trust. yes this bummed me out but what's worse is that i have lost my only source of communication. i can't call or reach out to anyone, just stuck. even if i wanted to get a job i don't have a line. 

my dad is very against me having a job, he makes millions of excuses. i thought maybe i could get a job in the summer, then he signs me up for summer school, he said i can't get a job because i have to focus on summer school. i asked if i could get a job in college and he again said no because college is a priority, and he will "provide everything" for me. whether or not these excuses sound reasonable i have been asking to get a job since i was 14 and it's always just excuse after excuse.

context: my original plan was to work in the summer, then during fall semester, take a course online + work, become an adult + move out, go to college in the winter. my dad's plan is him rushing me and me doing the course in the summer and starting college in the fall, which i don't want to do, i've literally cried in front of him and he said "why do you want to waste a whole semester" acting like i told him i don't want to do anything with my life or something. 

context: it might sound like there's no problem because he said he'll provide everything for me but i have a terrible relationship with my mother who hates me, it's hard to ask for things when you're disliked. this is tmi/personal but whenever i asked for deodorant my mom gave me off brand spray deodorant from dollar tree, and i really wouldn't have cared but it burned my pits, like practically chemical burn, when i mentioned that, i got the typical fed up-grossed out- look with an eye roll being told i'm dramatic. mind you my sister gets dove deodorant but i never brought that up, mind you i'm older than her. i didn't want to cause problems so i decided to buy my own deodorant. i know, not a big deal, it won't kill me to buy my deodorant but this is what "providing everything" means. 

context: parents don't know that i'm planning to move out and they don't want me to.

recently i emailed the office of the child and youth advocate but the reply was basically "get a job" more or less. they also gave me the link to the youth shelter which i decided to email since i have previously called in the past and their 24/7 chat was offline. I sent the email 2 days ago and haven't received a reply yet, but i'll be sure to update if they do. 

again, this sounds dramatic, "just wait till you're 18" my dad literally doesn't plan on giving me my phone back or letting me have a job, even then at 18, i'm going to be in the same position i am in now. i wouldn't like to talk about my home situation but all that matters apparently is that i'm not being physically abused.

i have thought about everything, i'm super restricted so it's hard to work around the controls, for example, i'm using a guest browser and an account my parents don't know about. 

i'd appreciate any and all advice and criticism! 

hi i really really need advice right now. this might sound dramatic, i'm sorry, it might be.

i'm 17, i turn 18 in december, i need to move out, whether it's now or when i turn 18.

i only have $800 saved and i can't get a job (dad won't let me). before everything got 10x worse, my ex boyfriend (current bf at the time) and mom knew about my situation and offered to take care of me/help me if i ever decided that i couldn't stay at home, both lovely people but unfortunately my boyfriend broke up with me. i also had a friend who was willing to let me stay but there were some family issues and we were back to ground 0. i decided that i have to get my shit together and i called 211, the youth shelter, and some youth programs. the youth shelter is short term and i'm not being physically abused so my situation isn't high risk. deleted the calls and messages so my parents dont find out. 

a month ago my dad took my phone away, for unrelated reasons but he's super upset and doesn't plan to give it back because i broke his trust. yes this bummed me out but what's worse is that i have lost my only source of communication. i can't call or reach out to anyone, just stuck. even if i wanted to get a job i don't have a line. 

my dad is very against me having a job, he makes millions of excuses. i thought maybe i could get a job in the summer, then he signs me up for summer school, he said i can't get a job because i have to focus on summer school. i asked if i could get a job in college and he again said no because college is a priority, and he will "provide everything" for me. whether or not these excuses sound reasonable i have been asking to get a job since i was 14 and it's always just excuse after excuse.

context: my original plan was to work in the summer, then during fall semester, take a course online + work, become an adult + move out, go to college in the winter. my dad's plan is him rushing me and me doing the course in the summer and starting college in the fall, which i don't want to do, i've literally cried in front of him and he said "why do you want to waste a whole semester" acting like i told him i don't want to do anything with my life or something. 

context: it might sound like there's no problem because he said he'll provide everything for me but i have a terrible relationship with my mother who hates me, it's hard to ask for things when you're disliked. this is tmi/personal but whenever i asked for deodorant my mom gave me off brand spray deodorant from dollar tree, and i really wouldn't have cared but it burned my pits, like practically chemical burn, when i mentioned that, i got the typical fed up-grossed out- look with an eye roll being told i'm dramatic. mind you my sister gets dove deodorant but i never brought that up, mind you i'm older than her. i didn't want to cause problems so i decided to buy my own deodorant. i know, not a big deal, it won't kill me to buy my deodorant but this is what "providing everything" means. 

context: parents don't know that i'm planning to move out and they don't want me to.

recently i emailed the office of the child and youth advocate but the reply was basically "get a job" more or less. they also gave me the link to the youth shelter which i decided to email since i have previously called in the past and their 24/7 chat was offline. I sent the email 2 days ago and haven't received a reply yet, but i'll be sure to update if they do. 

again, this sounds dramatic, "just wait till you're 18" my dad literally doesn't plan on giving me my phone back or letting me have a job, even then at 18, i'm going to be in the same position i am in now. i wouldn't like to talk about my home situation but all that matters apparently is that i'm not being physically abused.

i have thought about everything, i'm super restricted so it's hard to work around the controls, for example, i'm using a guest browser and an account my parents don't know about. 

i'd appreciate any and all advice and criticism!