u/raccoony_108

The weather is really nice today, and I really want to go outside.

But I'm home alone, and I don't yet have a power assist for my wheelchair, so I can't go very far.

So far the only activities I could think of are reading and crochet.

But I find reading a tiny bit boring (don't get me wrong, I love reading, but mainly in the evening in bed), and crochet does take quite a bit of energy and hurts my hands.

Plus I currently don't have any good yarn lol 😭

Anyway, any suggestions are appreciated 🩵

I've been having a slight tremor in my hands when using them, which has been annoying but fine.

But today I realized just how often I have tremors. I was trying to do some arts and crafts for fun, and for the first time in ages I was using a glue gun.

It was very challenging lol

It's still a minor tremor, and doesn't really bother me, it only feels stupid and annoying.

It also happened at day spending a while back, and I felt a bit embarrassed about barely being able to use scissors because my hands kept shaking.

I've been having back issues for a longgggg time.

I've now come to the conclusion it's either scoliosis or hyper mobility causing back instability.

Now neither of these are diagnosed, and I'm not asking for what others think it is! I'm planning on speaking to my doctor soon to get an appointment.

I just want to know if anyone knows about support for if it's hyper mobility related.

Because I know for knees, or elbows you have braces or KT tape.

But does something like that exist for backs?

Because ts hurts so bad and it takes so much effort to sit/stand somewhat normally 😭

I (trans M17) have trauma, and it's severe enough that my current therapist isn't specialized enough to handle me so I'm being put on a wait list for a specialized trauma clinic, that works with cptsd and dissociative disorders.

The thing is, I'm scared that what I think and feel happened, didn't actually happen.

For me I experienced what happened as sexual assault, and usually refer to it as such (though I avoid labeling it as much as possible)

It happened between me and my grandfather.

And I know how it felt for me, and how others hear it when I tell them. But I don't know my grandfather's side of the story at all.

So here are some of the things that happened, ranging from stuff that just makes me uncomfortable to the stuff I have nightmares about.

My grandparents meant the world to me for the longest time, as my dad (their son) is kind of an asshole, and my grandparents completely alienated my mom (they hate her) which influenced my feelings toward my mom for a long time.

So there's stuff that I don't even mention in therapy because it's so freaking normal to me, and even though it made me uncomfortable I don't think it's actually wrong.

This includes things like having to kiss my grandfather on the lips as a greeting.

Bathing with my grandfather up to when I was around 10 I think. (As in both being naked in the bath).

My grandfather changing out of his PJs into regular clothes in front of me.

Making me believe wearing underwear while sleeping is weird.

None of it was punished if I didn't do it. I always had a choice. But there would be disappointment if I didn't do what was expected.

"Don't you want to greet me?" "Do you not like me anymore?" Etc..

But that stuff was normal in our family.

I also bathed with my grandmother, and I was less uncomfortable about it so it didn't matter.

Kissing on the lips was just a way we all greeted each other.

That's the stuff that just made and still makes me feel uncomfortable.

Then the bad stuff takes place when I was 11-13

When I was around 11 years old there was a small family picknick. My grandfather and I were sitting at a picknick table, while the others said on an outdoor couch thingy.

He hugged me from behind and squeezed my chest.

I excused myself after and had a panic attack in the bathroom.

Shortly after my grandparents left.

Which sounds bad from my perspective.

But he could've just wanted to give me a hug.

And I don't even remember it that clearly, so maybe it wasn't anything at all.

But in the moment and looking back at it from my perspective it makes me feel terrified.

And there was another time when I was 13 where I got dressed up for a pride event.

I was wearing a skirt and a t-shirt. (I'm trans masc and usually never wear skirts, but wanted to look pretty for the event)

When I came home my grandparents were there. I don't even remember why.

They greeted me.

And my grandfather touched my bare inner thigh and told me I looked good in a skirt. And that I should have bare legs more often.

My grandmother was there as well I think, but she didn't say anything about it.

And I couldn't leave.

Because I always felt this fucked up sense of obligation to my family.

I was raised to have zero boundaries. And it gives me mixed feelings.

On one hand so much stuff like this is normal in our family, so why should I make a problem out of it.

But also I felt uncomfortable and should be allowed to say so.

Then a less bad time but still shitty, when I was 14 me and my grandparents went on vacation.

We had done that before, and like the previous times I assumed I was going to have my own bedroom.

Only to find out once we arrived at the hotel that it was just one room.

Our beds less than 30cm apart.

I was completely blindsided by this.

But I have a shitty memory especially regarding stuff related to my grandparents, so I genuinely didn't know if I just forgot that they told me about the sleeping arrangements or if I misunderstood something.

(Because I was 100% sure my grandmother had told me I'd get my own room)

Mind you I didn't even want to go on this vacation, but they kept telling me in a joking way I wasn't allowed to back out now.

Anyway, that vacation (2 weeks) my only moment of privacy was in the morning when I showered.

But one morning we had an early activity and there was only time for one of us to shower.

So my grandmother showered.

Which forced me to have no other choice but to change with my grandfather still in the room.

It was a horrible vacation.

Anyway, my point is

All of this is terrible from my POV

But from my grandfather's perspective I don't know what it is.

I don't know what his intentions were.

I don't know if it was normal.

I don't even know for sure if some of this even happened.

But it could also be that it's worse than I remember because with other traumas I have it's already been proven to me that I don't remember all.

(Like someone will tell me "oh yeah remember that messed up thing that happened to you? You were so upset" and I'll have no memory of it at all.)

I know my feelings and my trauma is valid.

But I feel like a liar whenever I say I was sexually assaulted.

And I hate myself for it.

Also just FYI I cut off contact with my grandparents in summer 2024

And cut contact with my dad summer 2025

So it's not like I'm in danger or anything anymore

Recently started studying a bit more after dropping out of school 2 years ago.

Started learning Dutch sign language in December 2025.

Picked up Spanish again last month (I tried to study it before but didn't continue)

And today I picked up both math and chemistry.

I LOVE chemistry, which is why I wanted to do it, but hate math.

But I decided to try and get my math skills a bit better, for the sake of understanding chemistry stuff better.

It's been very frustrating having to learn basic things like how to write 233,621,099,154 in words

But I'm still very happy because I'm proud of myself for doing this

I'm also happy because I got 2/3 'certificates' for my service dog in training. (Once I have all three I can do a test with him to get him property certified as a service dog)

I got a comment on one of my posts saying:

I have something important to tell you its about to your account, but i cant message you idk whyy?? please send me a message

So I DM'd this person

Me:

You wanted me to message you?

Them:

[Screenshot*]

Please don’t ignore this. I made a mistake and reported your account after someone pretending to be you scammed me. Now support says your account is at risk. I’m really sorry—please contact him on Discord, ticket 40557035.

Me:

It's alright probably

Is there a negative effect for you if I don't contact the person? Because if not, I won't bother tbhI don't care that much about my account and I've got no clue how contacting that person even wrote

But can I ask how my impersonator scammer you?

Them:

i didn't mean to report you just plss add the support on discord : olivergrrff and tell them it was just a mistake report

Me:

It's okay, I'm not upset or anything

I'll look at it tomorrow

Because I'm very tired

Them:

if you dont have discord please create a new one plss it will take 1 minute only

*Screenshot description:

Tumblr

You submitted a fraudulent report and we were able to take action.

-my profile picture-

-my username-

We have conducted a thorough review of your request concerning this user, While we appreciate your efforts to clarify the situation, it has come to our attention that this user has been the subject of multiple significant reports from other users, As such, we are unable to confirm the user's innocence based solely on the information you provided as it does not adequately refute evidence gathered from these reports.

This user has been flagged several times for Phishing and Financial Scam. Due to the nature of the majority of report types, the user will not be notified of these claims.

• This activity violates Tumblr's Terms of Service and misuse of the reporting system may result in account restrictions or permanent removal.

This information gathered continue to indicate serious violations of our Terms of Service, Paid Services Terms and Community Guidelines. As a result, the user's account has been queued for deletion, and an IP and device restriction will be implemented to uphold the platforms security.

It is recommended that the user contact an Certified Dispute Staff within 24 hours for live case resolution. Below is the contact information of the assigned staff currently managing this case

-the discord user name, and Whatsapp phone number, with a picture of a man, with text saying "live support - verified Tumblr dispute support"-

*End screenshot description

I doubt this is real, as I'm rarely on Tumblr, and I genuinely doubt this is how they handle stuff like this.

But I don't know.

Either way I'm not texting anyone, because I'm tired and can't be bothered

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, if it isn't please let me know and direct me to the right place!

I'm 17y/o and I think I really like chemistry, but I'm not in school.

I did a bit over one year of chemistry at school when I was 13-15, but dropped out right after I turned 15 because of multiple chronic illnesses.

I haven't recovered yet, in fact I've gotten worse, so I still can't go to school.

But I really really loved the tiny bit of chemistry I did do.

So I'm looking for an online way to study chemistry.

Preferably free, but I'm okay with paying a bit for my education.

These are some things I would like from whatever website or program teaches chem:

- actual questions where you have to fill in an answer (opposed to just a bunch of text, where I have to think of questions and answers myself to expand and test my knowledge)

- reliable

- not too many ads

Yeah that's basically it.

Also maybe in addition to that, somewhere I can basic maths.

Because I was good at chemistry, but absolutely awful at maths.

I have suspected discalculia, and struggle a lot with maths, and obviously that is a party of chemistry

Okay this is a really long and complicated story, so I've tried making it as short as possible and keeping it simple. Just ask for more info if you want it.

I (17transM) am chronically ill. I was professionally diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) and Functional Neurological Disorder (FND).

For this and some other reasons I wanted to get a service dog, and after talking about it with my mom a lot she agreed it could be helpful.

But in the process of requesting the local municipality (not sure if that's the word tbh) for money for the service dog, the case worker decided to report my mom and accused her of making me sick.

This is after I only met her (the case worker) once.

And my mom had only met with her twice, and a few times over the phone.

This all happened August 2025

This month the organization (Veilig Thuis, which is like an organization that investigates if someone is in an unsafe living situation. So kinda like CPS but also for adults) that did the investigation came to a conclusion and closed the case.

They say child abuse was not confirmed. (Aka my mom is innocent)

The entire situation has brought both me and my mom a lot of stress, and caused serious harm.

Ask me anything about this