u/rinizntreal

How and where when did they find us are they dumb

I have BPD and autism, and I’m really struggling with guilt.
Recently I ended a friendship with one of my boyfriend’s cousins because the friendship wasn’t healthy for me anymore. I tried to end it respectfully, but things escalated afterward, and now it feels like a lot of his family doesn’t like me because of it.
The thing is, I know none of this was my intention. I wasn’t trying to create drama or put my boyfriend in an awkward position.
But I still feel like **I’m always the problem.**
It reminds me of a previous situation where there was tension with some of my boyfriend’s friends (which eventually got better), and now this happened with part of his family.
My boyfriend isn’t angry with me, but I still feel guilty because I know he doesn’t like conflict, and I hate feeling like I bring chaos into his life.
I don’t even want to be friends with the cousin again. I don’t regret ending the friendship because I genuinely felt uncomfortable. But I can’t stop feeling like I’ve made life harder for him.

For people with BPD:

How do you tell the difference between healthy accountability and taking responsibility for everything?

How do you stop feeling like you’re “too much” for your partner?

Does anyone else constantly feel like they should leave the relationship because you think your partner would have an easier life without you?

I recently started working full-time in ABA again, and it’s a pretty active job. Running has actually helped my POTS a lot over the past year, but I still get flares occasionally.
I already make sure I’m getting plenty of salt and drinking a lot of water, and I try to hydrate really well the day before work too. The only issue is that I can’t constantly drink water during my shift because I’m with clients, and I can’t keep leaving to use the bathroom.
I’ve fainted at multiple jobs in the past, and I really don’t want that to happen again at this one.
For those of you who work active jobs, what has helped you prevent flares or get through them during work? Do you have any tips, routines, electrolytes, compression gear, SPECIFIC snacks, vaping less, sleeping better or anything else that’s made a noticeable difference? Pls I really want this job to be different this time!

Asking for a friend 👀

Have you ever had someone admit they suspected it but never asked? What do you think gave them that impression?

I’ve noticed I tend to end up with a FP pretty quickly, and it usually turns into someone I shouldn’t even be getting attached to in the first place, or someone who isn’t really good for me or emotionally safe long-term. It’s like I get attached fast and deeply before I’ve really had time to see the full picture of the person.
Then later I end up feeling like I look bad or stupid for how attached I got.
Why does this happen? And why do we even develop FP attachments in the first place? Is it a coping mechanism, a trauma response, or just how some of us are wired?
I’m just trying to understand it better and see if other people experience the same thing.

I’ve noticed I tend to end up with a FP pretty quickly, and it usually turns into someone I shouldn’t even be getting attached to in the first place, or someone who isn’t really good for me or emotionally safe long-term. It’s like I get attached fast and deeply before I’ve really had time to see the full picture of the person.
Then later I end up feeling like I look bad or stupid for how attached I got.
Why does this happen? And why do we even develop FP attachments in the first place? Is it a coping mechanism, a trauma response, or just how some of us are wired?
I’m just trying to understand it better and see if other people experience the same thing.

I know some say lash clusters shouldn’t be on for more than two days but tbh I just want a good glue I can sweat it and shower in and not have to worry about them coming off for 2 weeks so I don’t have to take so long in the mornings so if u have any ideas for glue that isnt latex and cheap lmk!? HAIR GLUE OR KISS LASH GLUE DOESNT COUNT PLSSS

I struggle a lot with not being able to tell when people have bad intentions, and I’ve ended up trusting the wrong people more than once. Because of that, I find myself constantly analyzing new people—trying to read them, pick up on patterns, and figure out what kind of person they are.
I think it might come from my BPD and trauma, and this constant need to “assess” people before I can feel safe around them.
Does anyone else constantly psychoanalyze people to try and figure out if they’re a good or bad person, or if they’re safe to trust?

I catch myself overanalyzing people sometimes and “checking” or “testing” them to see if they notice anything about me. Like whether I’m a dead giveaway or not.
I’m not even fully sure what I’m looking for in those moments… maybe it’s trying to figure out if I need to mask more or if I can relax a bit.
How do you personally tell when someone “knows” you’re autistic, or do you even notice it at all?

I see a lot of conversations about the difficult parts of autism, so I wanted to ask something a little different.
What’s your favorite thing about your autism? What’s something you wouldn’t want to lose, or something you think it brings to your life that you really value?
Idk if you could even say this is a “tism trait,” but definitely my autobiographical memory and how DEEPLY I feel EVERYTHING i just feel everything really intensely, which can be overwhelming sometimes, but also makes life feel really full and I can remember people’s birthdays, exact dates I hung out with people, or specific events years later in really vivid detail!

I know Ariana was on hot ones a few years ago, what’s your opinions on that with like the whole food thing? I always wondered that