u/rlouvreee

(21F) This is just to let off steam. I am not looking for comfort, sympathy, or validation. I know what I did, and I know I brought the consequences on myself.

I engaged in a sexual encounter with someone knowing full well he was in a relationship. It was a selfish choice, and there is no sugarcoating or excusing it.

The secret started to leak after I mentioned it to a couple of friends who spread it after our friendship fallout. The guy then knew I broke our promise not to tell anyone and so driven by guilt, I initially made an agreement with him to take 100% of the blame: to claim I "made it all up" so he could play the victim of fake rumors and in that moment of anxiety, it just felt like taking the fall was the price I had to pay for leaking it.

When the moment to confront his girlfriend actually came, I refused to go through with that lie and not protect him anymore. So I stood in front of her, owned up completely, apologized for my part, and gave her 100% honesty about what happened. I accepted the responsibility and the embarrassment that came with it, while he refused to take a single ounce of accountability and kept denying everything to her face.

Now, the public backlash has hit me full force. I’ve been exposed and shamed on IG, my name is being dragged, and the social fallout is brutal. I deserve it all.

All that has happened has forced me to look at myself honestly, I am dealing with the immense guilt of what I did. I fully accept taking the hits but I cannot deny that it is also difficult to go through, but I feel as though I do not deserve to feel that way especially after hurting someone that did not deserve it. I just want people to know even if it’s just from this post alone that I am genuinely doing the work to be better. This was a huge lesson in my life, and I hope that once college is over all of this will pass. Maybe not fully forever, but I know someone understands.

I (21F) am posting this to process my thoughts and outline where I stand. I am not looking for comfort, sympathy, or validation. I know what I did, and I accept the consequences of my choices.

Many months ago, I engaged in a sexual encounter with someone who was in a relationship. It was a selfish choice, and there is no excuse for it. After the secret leaked, I initially panicked and made a guilt-driven agreement with him to take 100% of the blame, claiming I "made it all up" so he could play the victim. But when faced with his girlfriend, I couldn't carry out that lie. I chose full honesty instead: I owned up completely, apologized for my part, and laid out the facts, while he chose to stay in complete denial.

The public fallout on social media is brutal. My name is being dragged, the shaming is nonstop, and I accept that I brought this environment on myself, but I struggle with feeling like I don't even have the right to feel hurt or overwhelmed given the pain I caused an innocent person.

I am forced to look at myself honestly now. I took accountability for the action, but now I am trying to navigate the hard internal work of processing immense guilt.

For those who have hit rock bottom morally and rebuilt their integrity, how do you process the weight of your past mistakes while actively doing the work to be a better person?

Cut off my main friends because a misunderstanding after I realized that the environment they gave was not fit for me. I silently cut them off and they got hurt.

So I reached out for an opportunity to have a calm, mature conversation where I would’ve given accountability and apologized to the parts I made mistakes in despite my valid hurt and them misunderstanding me because I thought they deserved that type of conversation. They rejected it, and I respect that.

What irks me is that they continue to backstab, say hurtful, damaging things about me to other people despite my offer and I thought that it was maybe quite immature. I don’t know how to feel about this. I’ve been silent the whole time and avoided talking bad about them to other people. I chose peace but this is happening. My heart is sinking.

5k lang yung budget ni client for a mural painting and sa ganong price po is 63x63 inches magagawa ko, okay lang po un ba?

Is it unfair if two ex-partners both did things while broken up, but only one is forgiven? In my situation, my ex admitted after we broke up that he had sex with someone else and cuddled another girl in a motel, which he did not initially disclose. I accepted him despite this. Later, when he asked me to be fully honest so we could “rebuild,” I admitted I had sent nudes to someone while we were broken up. However, after I told the truth, he ended things with me. Is this considered a double standard or unfair treatment in a relationship dynamic?