u/rosey5683

So I was in the maternity ward for some tests and it was a very busy day. Women from all walks of life. This hospital is in a big Muslim area so almost everyone is either Muslim or presents as Muslim anyway. I was reading my book and noticed a few women were chatting to each other which was nice at first but then they moved onto husbands..and I felt shocked and sad at what I heard. Out of all
Of them none of them said their men supported their pregnancy journeys or even look after the baby. One of them said her oldest is 4 so now her husband is showing interest at least. Many of them shared their restless nights and crying through the newborn phase because they had no support or understanding from their partners. One laughed and said her Husband didn’t even do a single
Change or feed. Now they’re repeating the same cycle with their seconds or thirds and I can’t understand why they’d want children with someone who isn’t even interested in you or them. It’s a shame it’s so normalised because no one should feel that way during such a time. I think the most horrifying thing was when a lady said her husband only started to be nice to her after multiple losses and then he became a bit more nicer. I hope future generations choose better and get treated better with kindness and respect from their partners. I feel so sad now knowing this is happening a lot
Around me. I wish these woman would also want better for themselves too because being a single mother in a marriage doesn’t benefit anyone.

So I’ve been in last weekend and also on Wednesday this week where I’ve felt like there was nothing in there. Baby had a good heartbeat both times and even moved a lot on the Wednesday once the stuck me on the machine. Am I being overdramatic or too much to go again tonight due to not having Much movement again today ? I’ve had dinner and water and juice baby doesn’t seem bothered. I know some babies can be quiet but I have a posterior placenta so still not feeling much. What would you do in this situation?

Edit: update thanks everyone for your time and advice I was on a machine and he did end up moving a bit but because I’ve been in 3 times I was told
To monitor at home for 24 hours etc. hoping it’s all
Fine. Doctor said no baby has a pattern before 32 weeks apparently so… but I think i still rather go in if I feel like it needs monitoring. Will definitely still be vigilant and speak to my community midwife at my appointment this week coming and still go in if I feel like it’s needed. Definitely not worth a risk. Thanks 💞

Ever met someone and you thought you’d be friends for life ? Yeah happened to me but last few years have been me receiving bread crumbs and silence and lack of communication or anything really. I’ve been let down countless times and honestly at this point I’ve let the idea of confrontation go so long it’s useless and futile. So this person birthday is this month I have decided to not wish them happy birthday to kind of follow in their footsteps I guess. When it was my birthday they gave me a half assed message anyway which just felt insulting. I’ve done nothing but become a weird insecure freak over this friendship and I feel like in order for me improve I need to decenter this person whom probably isn’t even at fault because life moves fast and no-one owes anyone a lifetime commitment if they don’t want to. I can understand I am just sensitive to things changing and desperate to hold onto an old person who probably doesn’t even exist. Her lack of effort towards me has hurt me deeply enough to know when to get my head out my ass and move on now.

If wasn’t even that bad being constipated in the first and second trimester nut ever since I hit the third. It’s always at the back of my mind like it’s coming soon…I have to eventually use the bathroom. I eat a lot of fibre and drink 2:3 litres of water a day and get my steps in. But somehow each time I go it feels like it’s getting harder and harder ( no pun intended ) at this point I’m sure I’m gonna get some burn or anal fissures there. RIP. Also I feel so bad I’m squishing my child I wonder if they are also uncomfortable…also I’m terrified of blocking my toilet omg.

I’ve been having achey muscles for a while but it feels ramped up recently. My knees and thighs ache like crazy. My arms and wrists also ache too! Feeling exhausted. I’m on iron supplements so I’m sure that doesn’t help either. Any advice on how to manage tiredness and aches in the last 12 weeks? I feel like I want to sleep for my whole third trimester

I’m a first time mum and nervous especially seeing how many people regret having children. I’m pregnant id love to hear from People who love their new life and journey need some positive energy in my life

So I’ve read my few share of Stephen King books and the last horror I read was penpal but I’ve been lacking in my reading a lot ( thanks iPhone) so I want some books that have personally gripped people and kept you obsessed till the last page! Thanks!

I’m 25 weeks and 4 days but over the last week she’s just gone crazy every morning around 6/7 am meowing at me and licking me and even trying to make bread near my tummy. Is she telling me she’s unwell or is she sensing I’m pregnant. She never leaves my side at all. She is a ragdoll so not sure if her clingy attitude is also due to that but it started to disturb my sleep now. She just doesn’t stop meowing at me for pets or attention and gets plenty of food around the clock and toys! Should I be careful about her licks on me? It’s mostly arms she licks.

I’m in the 23 week mark now and today I’ve been hearing all sorts of loud noises from my stomach and what I can guess is my bowels or intestines..a lot of gas build up has finally left the building. Anyone else had loud noises from their body? Baby is moving fine so I’m guessing it’s my stomach digesting an also telling me to eat more

So finally had a bra fitting last week and the woman said I had been neglecting my breasts du to the enormous growth. I went from like a 32C to a 36E. I know they had grow especially first trimester but with being constantly sick and a few trips to triage and work I didn’t realise how badly I needed a new bra. I kept putting it off. I soon in the second trimester started to not wear one at all and got one of those loose maternity bras which are probably good for breastfeeding but for now I’ve got ones with good back support and room for growth. I feel gross by this size on me as I’m Petite and they have changed colour and look very saggy now. Before they were so film. What can I do to make sure after I give birth in 3ish months to look after them? I’m aware the changes come with pregnancy but I feel old now looking at my boobs. What brands or creams would you guys recommend to use?

I randomly had some type 5 stool today (tmi) I was just wondering if anyone else had change in bowels at the 22/23 week mark due to this weather? I have been trying to hydrate as much as I can even when I’m not feeling like drinking water feel like it’s not enough. I need it to rain or something now

Almost 22 weeks and the heat is making me feel so lethargic gassy and bloated not sure what to even eat today…stomach feels semi hard like there’s a lot of gas or some bloat in there nothing like a braxton hicks but maybe even growing pains bump is looking bigger today too…anyone else having a miserable time ?

Early pregnancy I was told this is not for pregnant women but now that I’m towards end of second trimester I feel like I need something to help digest since stomach is being pushed up by my uterus :( can I take one safely? They used to work great for me before but haven’t tried in the last 6 months

21 weeks and wondering when bump will get bigger nervous and looking forward to it being bigger 🤣

So I’ve been put on a month’s worth of medication of pressary to see if it goes away. I’m 21 weeks now I had no idea it hasn’t gone anyway after the last time they treated it. What’s everyone’s experience been like with it ? They told me everything else was fine just needed to take the meds and hopefully it’ll clear up. I know it can’t get passed to baby in womb but worried about PROM since I’m still in my mid second trimester.

I’m halfway through and I just want to know why they need to say this phrase when you say absolutely anything? Even something like oh I have an appointment for this check up etc. Or mention using things like safe sleep or how you want to wean your future child. I was berated for taking prenatals once too. Really annoys me because modern medicine has advanced a lot in the last 30 odd years and especially if you have access to good healthcare why wouldn’t you utilise it? Why do brown women do this? Especially in the regions of Pakistan and India as I have ties from both sides so I hear a lot of advice that definitely makes me raise my eyebrows to how they come to such conclusions! Not sure what it’s like for people from different ethnic backgrounds but it’s definitely something that’s been grinding my gears.

What changes or symptoms did you guys have ? And did your bumps grow ? Also how was your mental health? I’m almost 21 weeks now and I haven’t even bought anything apart from a deposit on my travel system which needs ordered for October. When should I seriously start buying for baby? I’m lowkey lazy but also just hesitant idk why I guess I have anxiety but also I want to get autumn clothes for my baby! Sorry so many questions just really interested in what the last bit of the second trimester is like for people :)

So I’ve never had this before but ever since my tummy has grown due to pregnancy I am now 20 weeks i noticed a small bulge that is painless but comes and goes anyone else had this? I’m gonna see my doctor next week so I’m gonna mention it Asap I also have my 20 week scan on Friday so hoping everything goes smoothly hopefully there too! A bit anxious over this new thing though Google says it’s Umbilical cord hernia and pretty harmless unless it progresses anyone else had this ?

Hello not sure if this is a rant or what but I’ve been feeling so down about my family situation since I got pregnant. I have a great relationship with my partner and we’re both happy to take the next step. But I feel like my family is selfish and don’t care for me as much as I see other families go out of their way for people. My sister for one is very selfish and uses people to her gain and I’ve caught her trying to gossip about my pregnancy and trying to make drama out of things which are not real and has tried to make me feel bad multiple times for things out of my control in my pregnancy. I had a small accident early on and she acted like it was my fault. She also thinks she can have access to my flat to visit her partner in jail since she lives a bit further out. I’ve stopped keeping contact with her because I don’t need this extra stress during pregnancy. I just get so frustrated and exhausted thinking of all this and get upset because no one wants to be depressed during such a happy time. I guess I feel isolated because I don’t have anyone to lean on unless it’s my partner.

I recently moved cities for a graduate internship and at the start I was actually so happy because there were two other Muslim girls in my training cohort. We’d pray together, talk about deen, becoming better Muslims, being good people etc and I genuinely thought finallyyyy I’ve met people I can connect with at work.

A few weeks later I casually mentioned I went on a graduation trip with one of my uni friends and my husband was completely happy with it. One of the girls immediately got weird and started asking “how did he allow that?” which already threw me off because what do you mean allow 😭
I explained that me and my husband are on the same page morally and religiously and we respect each other’s autonomy. We don’t really do the whole controlling each other thing or asking permission to breathe. We communicate like normal adults.
From that point I noticed a shift.

The cohort had a lot of guys too and honestly they were painfully immature. Full Andrew Tate/red pill type energy. One day our supervisor wasn’t there and these men started making racist comments, misogynistic comments and even rape jokes. Actual rape jokes. Me and some of the non Muslim students were visibly uncomfortable meanwhile the Muslim guys were the main ones saying this stuff and the two Muslim girls I thought I was friends with were sat there laughing along trying to impress them.
I spoke up and made it clear I thought it was disgusting. I think that’s when one of the girls properly turned on me.

I later found out she’d been talking about me behind my back constantly. Making weird comments about my marriage, mocking my opinions and acting bitter because I didn’t agree with her “women should shrink themselves for men” mindset. The irony is I actually used to encourage her and tell her she deserved better because the man she was talking to literally monitored what she wore and controlled everything she did. But apparently me saying women deserve autonomy made me the villain.
After that she became obsessed with being accepted by the boys. Laughing at everything they said, joining in on the gossip, acting like the “cool girl” while they all sat there saying vile things about women and minorities. It honestly became embarrassing to watch.

At some point they even started questioning how I managed to get married when she was “better looking” than me which is such a deeply miserable thing to say to another woman. Like sorry my husband married me because he actually likes me as a person and not because I passed some beauty pageant ranking system???
By the end of the internship basically none of the Muslim people there liked me because I wouldn’t sit quietly and nod along to racism, misogyny and weird backwards relationship dynamics. Meanwhile the people who were actually kind to me were mostly the non Muslim students.
I ended up quitting and never spoke to any of them again.
It just made me sad because I went into that environment thinking shared culture/religion would automatically mean shared values and good character. Instead I got bullied and isolated for not conforming to their weird social hierarchy. The last thing that happened before I left was one of the men getting fired from his position due to him screaming the B word at another colleague so don’t think I missed out in any way by leaving the internship

Anyways just needed to rant because workplace humiliation from people you genuinely wanted to connect with hits differently.