I have no friends
Hi I don’t usually talk about my feelings online but here I am. I have literally no friends and I mean no one. I have a few people I text but no one ever asks me to hang out, it’s like inside of school I’m their best friend but outside of school I always have to ask them to hang out. My best friend never asks me to hang out and I’ve told her multiple times it’s mean and I have feelings. She keeps saying it’s because every-time she asks me I always say no which is a lie because she never even asks? She also says she’s used to me asking her but the friendship feels one sided if only I ask.
I have another friend she’s my neighbour and school friend she asks me to hang out but it’s always at her house or my house of going to the corner shop? Like yeah we have went out for real one time to eat but that’s it. All my school friends don’t bother reaching out to me, and I feel like I’m falling into a deep black hole and I know I’ve already fallen into it but my mind and heart can’t accept it that’s why I keep telling myself it’s gonna get better, but when does it?
I have had problems with making friends since I was young but it was because I was kinda mean, honestly I don’t think that’s the case. I think it was because I was irritated easily and was desperate for friends. I don’t know what to do, my friends never bother asking if I’m ok or if I wanna hang out because that’s all I ever wanted. I feel sad all the time and no matter how much fun I’m having I feel like an outcast.
Please help me