u/scarabeeli

I have sensitive skin and sensory issues, so I really struggle with most sunscreen textures and often hate how they feel.

I'm currently using Skin1004 Hyalu-Cica Sun Serum, which has the best texture I've found, but it sometimes stings around my nose/eyes, and a few weeks ago my right eye even swelled up, so I stopped using it. I think I might be sensitive to HA or niacinamide, I have a light rosacea too so idk.

I tried La Rosée's fluid, which didn't irritate me but pilled.
So I tried La Rosée's sunscreen stick and I love it, no stinging or reaction, and I really like the texture. My only concern is that I know it’s hard to apply enough to actually get SPF50. I’d also like to try Typology’s stick

Should I just go with sticks for everyday use (I always wear a cap when i’m outside in the summer), and use a more heavy but gentle/reliable sunscreen for things like the beach/long sun exposure? Or should I keep looking for a better daily sunscreen? even tho it’s hard and I’m tired of wasting money

I chose the name Eli when I was 14 cause it’s similar to my birth name but now I’m 19, slowly wants to start T, can’t wait for top surgery and kinda think this name is too childish, and I think it’s normal not to like as much as before the name I chose when I was in middle school.

The thing is that it’s a bit delicate to change my name again when not everyone is even used to Eli, so I looked for names (if you have any suggestions btw) that are more masculine and less “stereotypicaly trans” and I like Elias or Eliaz, people could still call me Eli as a surname. I dont mind being called Eli by my family and friends but I don’t want to change my name legally and introduce myself as Eli anymore

I just have questions I keep asking myself and I think I need external help to answer it honestly

Is Eli a stereotypical name for a trans masculine person? is Elias/Eliaz too? Should I just don’t care and keep Eli even if it is ? Should I just choose a name that I like even if it doesn’t necessarily sound like my birth name even if it already makes me really uncomfortable to explain why I don’t use my birth name (usually says it’s a surname first then explains why later) Am I just thinking about it too much?I’m a bit lost rn

The only cruelty free one I found is the Garnier (I live in France) but it has essential oils and alcohol denat so I’m afraid it might irritate my skin. I have sensory issues and I'm finding it harder and harder to tolerate suncream, it's okay on my face, but on my body it disgusts me, I think oil would be more comfortable

Ive been really conflicted lately about my transition. I’m 19 and at first when I was 13 and started questioning my gender I thought i was FtM and I was really dysphoric. But around 16 yo I find out that it seemed more natural and comfortable to say that i’m androgynous/non binary and felt a bit less disphoric.

The thing is that recently i’ve came across transmedicalist and toxic binary trans discourses on twitter and reddit and it kind of sowed seeds in my head.

I’ve been feeling really insecure and dysphoric after that, i’ve been wanting top surgery for years but can’t find the time and energy to really make it happen, and i’m too afraid of hormones because there’s more effects I don’t want than effects I want. Being in that situation where I only socially transitioned was already uncomfortable but now I just feel like i’m “faking it”. And my hobby literally being alt/goth makeup doesn’t help, I don’t even see makeup as feminine, I actually don’t see anything as feminine or masculine but I know almost everyone does.

I’ve always believed that everyone should do what feels right with them and I still do, but I would just like my transition to become a little more concrete i’m just so tired of spiraling so any piece of advice would help

When people describe a panic attack they say that they feel like they’re dying/ going to die and are really stressed/anxious but whenever I (F19) begin to feel an “attack” is coming I feel more angry than stressed. I just loose my mind and get furious and instead of feeling like I’m dying It’s more like i’m begging to be killed for this to stop, I usually cry a lot during this and I feel like it’s never going to end when it usually lasts 3-10min, sometimes 15-30min but it once lasts almost 4-5h, I often hit my head with my fists or against a chair, scratch my tights or burn myself when it happens in the shower

My life got kinda ass lately (bad news, lost friends, dropped studies, no job) and I don’t think i’m suicidal but when it happens the only thought in my head is how much i’d like to blow my brain with a gun or just spontaneously implode to never have to feel this ever again

I saw multiple mental health professionals when I was 15-17 but they never really take me seriously cause I don’t do drugs and don’t cut myself (I don’t judge people who do, that’s literally what they told me). Don’t want to hear them with their fucking breathing exercises, it just makes me even more nervous, I don’t wanna breathe when i’m like that I wanna smash my head until it stops.

anyone else feel like this?