Need help from older trans women. I feel stuck.
Hi everyone. I’m a 16 year old lesbian trans girl from Italy.
This is going to be a bit of a text wall, but I could really use some advice.
My parents aren’t openly transphobic, but I don’t feel safe coming out yet. The good part is that I have an amazing girlfriend who supports me a lot. I have access to her wardrobe full of feminine clothes, I wear Vollence DD breast forms held in place with a very tight chest band and a bra, and she helps me with outfits, makeup, and pretty much everything else.
My dysphoria comes and goes. Sometimes it’s manageable, other times it becomes almost obsessive depending on the situation.
Right now, there are a few things that make presenting as female really difficult. My voice doesn’t pass at all. I’ve tried voice training, but I haven’t had much success. My ADHD makes it incredibly hard to stay consistent with exercises, and every time I give up I end up feeling even worse about myself.
I’ve also tried tucking underwear, but it honestly hasn’t worked very well. Unfortunately, although I guess it’s a good thing if I ever get penile inversion vaginoplasty in the future, I have a lot of tissue down there and I really struggle to get a flat look, especially if I want to wear skirts. One of my biggest dreams is going to the beach as myself, but I feel ridiculous in regular swimsuits. Even swim shorts don’t really solve the problem, and purpose made trans swimwear is way outside my budget.
I’ve seriously considered DIY HRT several times. The problem is that noticeable breast growth would create huge problems with my family and with people around me who don’t know I’m trans. Many of them are very conservative, Catholic, and openly transphobic, so coming out just isn’t an option right now.
My question is about microdosing. Is there any evidence that taking very low doses of antiandrogens and estrogen could slow or partially pause puberty enough to preserve better long term HRT results? I’m mainly thinking about things like facial masculinization, preventing facial hair from developing (I barely have any yet), and stopping my body hair from getting thicker.
I’ve searched online but haven’t found a clear answer, so I figured I’d ask people here who might have personal experience or know the research better.
Thank you for reading, and thank you in advance for any advice. Stay strong, girls. ❤️