u/sercaj

Curious from other peoples experiences. Outside of therapy/family therapy etc has any one had any success with the following.

My wife dx, she hasn't been diagnosed that i know of with RSD but absolutely has it, can be quite difficult to have an adult, productive conversations about grievance's or anything that may trigger rsd as i'm sure many of you can relate.

So unfortunately this means we are unable to set a good/healthy example for our kid in how tow adults deal with problems. I go way way out of my way to be cool, calm and collected. I grey rock with the best of them now but this really isn't a healthy thing to witness either.

Every now and then into solutions mode regarding my partner (DX medicated). I try to improve myself, my life and the lives and well being of those around, in particular my family.

Although i rarely if ever broach any kind of solution making discussion with my partner anymore sometimes i cant help myself.

I mentioned how a lot of ice cream isn't ice cream anymore, then i mentioned how i was watching an interview of a doctor talking about how artificial flavors and coloring effects people with ADHD.

i don't know why this surprised me, i guess you forget. But she shrugged it off, calls me a "granola dad". Every time i find something, read or watch something that might be beneficial its meet with blatant excuses or 100 reason why it wont work or "i've tried that" (she hasn't) or it'll have a precursor/caveat. Lately its "i'm not doing anything until we move into a bigger house". granted our house is small but i dont see how that stops you from starting to live a healthier life style

The reason this frustrates the absolute hell out of me is because of the constant complaining, low mood, constantly being tired etc etc. But then she doesn't do any of the basic stuff that would vastly improve everything....Healthy nutrition, early consistent sleep and basic exercise.

Edit: To clarify, I rarely broach anything like this with my partner. By rarely this is the first time in a couple years I’ve mention anything about her ADHD.

Hi!

my (M40) crown has been very thin for going on 14 years. It hasn't really progressed at all, practically the same. I think it was somewhere between a very stressful period in my life and/or when i was young and dumb and had dread locks.

The rest of my head looks great sides, back and front all look good. i've been seriously contemplating getting it done and it'll most likely be state side.

Just looking to hear from people that had it done and also people that just decided to go bald, happy...not happy....etc

thanks guys

Look for some feed back.

My wife (separated but co habitation…not ideal but not for ever) dx has for as long as I’ve known her had a low ability to broach issues by having a discussion.

Rather, she will become agitated, heated, combated, argumentative. Immediately accusatorial…so she will start a “conversation” usually just a comment then I’ll want to discuss and she won’t have it. It goes for most conversations that involve us.

I just totally avoid her. Even just trivial things like, I was unloading the dishwasher and saw that wooden utensils are in there along with chef knives. I very gently and politely asked and reminded her that you’re not meant to put them in the dishwasher.

And she became immediately defensively and agitated, “well I hand washed those and put them in there to dry”. Why can’t she say the same thing in a non defensive/agitated way?

General discussion,

I just about to unload a vent about my architect experiences recently. Majority are great but there are consistent, reoccurring issues that come up.

But I thought I’d take a second and breath, and then I thought well I wonder what GC’s do that drive you wild, or things that could improve costs/efficiencies, general outcomes etc

So, architects tell me about your GC experiences :)

Credit where credit is due, my Partner DX has come along my in many ways with the help of therapy. Something have gotten worse but a lot of things have gotten better.

So, special occasions. Is it typically for ADHD people to sabotage or have issues with special occasions?

Christmas, Easter, Thanks Giving, any type of vacation is fraught with danger. The potential for a meltdown or explosion. Birthdays are hit or miss, normally miss.

Im also not one to place a lot of emphasis on my own birth but yesterday i turned 40. I spent a few days visiting a good old friends solo finished with a 2 day guys trip which i am very grateful for being able to do and my wife not having an issue with that. But no Happy birthday, no card, no little slice of cake. I don't even want or need anything else but man what a deflating way to finish the day and decade. No interaction, "how was the trip", "glad your home"

Got home and she stayed in the bedroom for most of the night.

I get it though, i get tired too and having a 5 year old can be tough.

Any one had any experience with this?

The CGT? Tax implications on the US side? Did you get rooted by the exchange rate?

I'm heavily considering selling my home in Australia. Any thoughts and/or real experience would be greatly appreciated. I will absolutely be employing a good foreign tax expert.

Thanks in advance !

Looking to hear from people that have these certs. Are they worth it? In the context of, do they actually make a palpable difference to your effectiveness, efficiency and as an overall benefit to the project/s?

I have the PMI certification and I don’t think it’s worth it. Sure it has some aspects which make a difference but they are strictly linked to that training or certification.

Which leads me to my next question, why do firms have them as a prerequisite/must have or preferred?

I’m a hiring manager and whilst it doesn’t detract from a candidate I certainly don’t place much weight on it at all.

Especially in the case where you come across people that have 6 years experience or less.

Have we gone “certification or credential mad” in lieu of experience…

I own some real estate which has had some great capital gains. The original idea was to always just hold these for rental income for retirement. It’s not a lot but it’ll be about $28k yearly income gross.

Or do I sell and bring the profit to the US to put to use.

I will pay capital gains tax in that country and then the exchange rates will also put a dent in that profit.

I am stuck though, I like the security of having these boring assets but I also like the idea of being that money to the US a paying down some debt and also reinvesting.

Thoughts ?

My wife is Dx adhd, and I always just thought that meant she can’t concentrate, forgetful things like that.

But reading many posts here it may explain a lot of her other issues or how she is.

Honestly she is a fkn mess. She is also diagnosed CPTSD, definitely a cluster B personality and highly neurotic. It’s hard, probably impossible to figure out what traits are relevant to each diagnosis.

But I’d like to hear from people what there partners traits are that generally just have adhd.

Thanks

I feel like I’ve turned a corner as far as I think I’ve become a bit more well versed at not getting totally bummed or triggered by her.

Example:

Start of summer, first year of school done for a kid so part of the celebrations was to take him to Dave and Busters.

It’s the morning, I’m getting ready and getting our kid ready and I can already tell she’s in a mood. Muttering and cursing under her breath, the deathly look on her face etc etc…

We said we’d want to get there by 10am and this lady does not fk around with schedules as I have found out in the past. If she said she wants to be out the house on the road by a certain time she means it and she will absolutely let you know you’re a piece of shit if you mess with that timeline.

So me and the kid are ready, I’m pretty certain I said loud enough for her to hear “let’s get packed up and in the car” to my kid, I then went into the bedroom to check in on the somber Queen “Is there anything you need me to help with before we leave” she says “no”. Great thought I’d check because she also loves to pup that one out about how useless I am and I don’t even think to ask if I can help.

Our house is tiny, so it’s quite impossible not to know if someone is in there or not.

So I leave her in the room go and load the kid in the truck. We’re listening to music have a good ol chat, 10 minutes goes past…..uuuh ooohhh so I get out and start to walk in and then the front door open and she starts walking out…

Was she just waiting and watching us in the truck? Kinda felt like it. All back in the truck and drum roll please…..

Let the dressing down begin. All front of our kid, which I’ve lost count at the amount of times I’ve asked her not to do that in from of them.

“I should’ve let her know we were getting in the car”, “she’s not surprised, my communication skills are shit and this is a pattern” “how is our kid meant to learn communication when this is his example” she kept going for about another 3 minutes…..

Difference is this timed I didn’t even respond, I didn’t flinch, I didn’t let her mood degrade me or my mood. I put the music back on and got on the road.

Same thing today she went to say how she’d reminded me twice about something else….not true it was once and that was yesterday and the. About something she’s been asking for for 4 months…also not true….

I just didn’t respond…i mean how are you meant to respond anyway. What an idiot.

Does anyone else have this?

My partner for the longest time would always pass comment on where we live, her not being able to quit her job and not work, us not having a pool etc etc. Always comparing us to others. She would constantly compare us to being legitimately poor.

Maybe I’m taking it the wrong way but it always feels like it’s directed at me. Because well, she directs it at me.

The constant dissatisfaction with the world and me because obviously if it weren’t for me her world be just great.

Our 6 year old a lot of the time doesn’t like answering questions.

Honestly it seems like he just can’t be bothered to answer the questions most of the time. Unless it’s a topic that interests him of course.

It does get frustrating when you’re trying to get information out of him about his day, school, friends etc.

I get it, I remember being like this when I was a teenager.

Just wondering if others have experienced this.

Also manners, we’ve made a very strong effort since he was young to use manners and be polite. But man, it’s still a real struggle to have him use them

Would it be appropriate to reach back out to a company that offered me a job 12 months ago, even though I declined the offer at the time?

Background.

- March 2026 i accepted a job with people I had worked with previously and this job had huge potential and opportunities.

- June 2026 a recruiter I had worked with previously reached out about a role he thought I would be a good fit for so I was genuinely interested in hearing more and to see where it would go.

- The interview went incredibly well, so much so even the recruiter commented he’d never seen anything like it. Two days later they had an offer to me. Small bump in salary, great benefits, 401k but the bonus package potential was huge.

- The offer kind of caught me off guard, i wasn’t expecting it or for it to come in two days. I had a great feeling about the team, the company and the owners and the opportunity…

But there were a couple things happening at the time.

- my brother had just passed and my relationship of 10 years was not in a good place at all.

- I had only recently accepted this role with a team I already knew and considering the rough time I felt I was going through it was best to be around those I knew.

Fast forward 12 months

- The role and opportunity I was hired for is not moving. Not too the fault of the company no work for but conditions out of their control. It might move forward but it could take more than a year or two or three. And who knows what happens in that time.

- To their credit they have moved me from that project but now essentially I feel like I’m playing stop gap.

- I feel I let a huge opportunity pass up by not taking the other role.

- I recently caught up with an old boss and now close friend of mine and told him about the whole situation, it turns out that his brother has worked for the same company for 15 years. He says they are like family.

I’ve been thinking of reaching back out to this company.

Hoping to get the communities thoughts on this

Thanks

I never know what mood she will be in. Every phone call/text, every interaction. The mood can even change mid interaction. Her mood is totally unpredictable.

I’ve been talking to on her way home right up until she pulls in to the drive way, normal conversation l, she in a normal good mood. 10 seconds later, walks through the front door, totally different mood. This has happen many times.

We will go on a day trip somewhere, by the end of that day I am totally fkn exhausted. The mood fluctuating.

It’s taken me almost 10 years of being with this person to realize a big component in how they are that effects me. It’s anxiety driving. She walks in the room I literally can’t predict who I’ll be with or what she will do.

that’s what I’ve noticed, I think the vast majority of people we know you can typically predict/know the personality and mood your going to be encountering

TL;DR This is an event that happened 10 years ago, but I guess I would say it made a decent imprint on me I think certainly changed my mind about my now wife.

I hadn’t thought about this for probably 8 years or more but it popped in to my train of thought and since it’s been so long, I’ve matured and grown etc i think about this event in a more mature way. I steel man it as much as I can but here goes:

We went of a Halloween wine tour with my then girlfriend’s company. I’d met a few of her coworkers before so all good. It was a reasonably fun day but on the bus ride back. She ended up getting up from next to me (seated at the back) and sitting at the front with her manager. Her explanation was “he’s drunk and keeps changing the music” I didn’t think anything of it because I figured she’d come back 40 minutes later we get back to the final destination.

She sat with him the whole trip back, sure the guy was drunk, who wasn’t, there was also 15 of her coworkers who weren’t concerned with him or what he was doing with the music.

I’m an adult so I have no problem holding a conversation and chatting with new people etc but, I was clearly sitting by myself the 40 minutes trip back. All her coworkers were entrenched in conversations with each other naturally and considering I wasn’t sitting next to any of them it’s kind of hard to enter a conversation.

By the time we got back I felt like this was quite rude and disrespectful. I aired my grievance to her once we got home and she said I was over reacting and being childish.

The next day came around and I guess I just moved on or so I thought. Upon reflection after all these years I think that one event in particular impacts my perception of her.

I’m trying to gauge if my thinking is reasonable….