u/shrmtrgn

Tv show and the sub of gilmore girls really triggered me.

In the show the girl Rory becomes infatuated with the bad boy type boy named Jess and then he cheats on his long term secure boyfriend named Dean.

People say on the Gilmore girls subreddit that she couldnt break up with Dean because but she should have because the relationship isnt on passion, chemistry or in lovey. They say Rory is a people pleaser, anxious attached etc.

This really spiked me because Im dating my bf for nearly one and a half year now and we didnt experience honeymoon or passionate fireworks it was a calm and secure relationship and I love him for who he is. Also I never want to break up with him because firstly he is everything Im looking for and adorable and secondly yes I dont want to hurt him because I love and care about him. Does that mean Im a people pleaser?

Isnt love supposed to be a choice? But this thing doesnt go parallelwith that İdea.

ım in a really bad flare right now so i really need some wisdom but not reassurance.

Im with my bf for over a year. I love him very much, he is my rock, my home. For me he is the most funny, talented, kind and cute person.

We didnt have a honeymoon phase. We built a loving relationship together. Is this a bad thing?

Also before this relationship I had a toxic and incompatible relationship with lots of spark and passion and infatuation( that relationship lasted two years). It was a toxic relationship and our values were completely different.

I love my boyfriend and I know that love is a choice I learnt that. But sometimes I stalked my ex but not because I want to be with him but just out of curiosity. This scared me because I love my boyfriend because he is the best.

We didnt have a honeymoon phase, sparky fireworks, but we built a healthy loving relationship with kindness, maturity, respect, love etc.

We are both 23 years old. Also I have other forms of ocd as well. I have always been a really anxious person because of my childhoo (toxic avoidant mom issues)

I also feel like the luckiest girl when I hold his hand. So what is this? Im so scared I cant breathe.

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are dating for over a year now.

Last night, my mom secretly looked at my messages with my bf on the phone and she saw some private messages. She learned we had sex which she doesnt want. In the morning she wasnt talking to me and I said why and she said you did a very bad thing and god knows this and I didnt understand at first. Then she said I cant even look at you you are so disgusting.

We are not talking right now because Im really angry at my mom and she thinks I am too young to have sex and she thinks this is a disgusting thing.

What should I do?

Also Im turkish and muslim so please consider that there is a cultural difference

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are dating for over a year now.

Last night, my mom secretly looked at my messages with my bf on the phone and she saw some private messages. She learned we had sex which she doesnt want. In the morning she wasnt talking to me and I said why and she said you did a very bad thing and god knows this and I didnt understand at first. Then she said I cant even look at you you are so disgusting.

We are not talking right now because Im really angry at my mom and she thinks I am too young to have sex and she thinks this is a disgusting thing.

What should I do?

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are dating for over a year now. Im always a very anxious person in life have health ocd as well.

I love my bf. I admire and love him. I love his smile, how he makes me feel safe and happy, his thinking and everuthing. When we hold hands and hug, I feel like the luckiest girl and feel so safe and warm. He is my rock. I love being affectionate with him, love physical intimacy. I love buying him gifts because I love making him happy. His pains are my pain. Also he is so cute for my eyes he is perfect. I love his good and bad sides as a whole. Also we share the same values.

I went into a spiral about attraction theme recently and I really need some wisdom on that. We never had a honeymoon phase we built our love intentionally with effort. When we kiss I dont feel butterflies but feel safe? happy and affectionate. When we have sex I dont feel like jumping on his bones also I take ssris and I always been a low libido person. But sex makes us feel closer and it relaxes me but I dont feel that burning desire and this scares me so much.

Because people on social media say if you dont have sparks, sexual lust attraction, then your relationship is doomed but he is perfect dont I love him? This attraction theme really spiked me.

I need some wisdom on this topic.

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are dating for over a year now. Im always a very anxious person in life have health ocd as well.

I love my bf. I admire and love him. I love his smile, how he makes me feel safe and happy, his thinking and everuthing. When we hold hands and hug, I feel like the luckiest girl and feel so safe and warm. He is my rock. I love being affectionate with him, love physical intimacy. I love buying him gifts because I love making him happy. His pains are my pain. Also he is so cute for my eyes he is perfect. I love his good and bad sides as a whole. Also we share the same values.

I went into a spiral about attraction theme recently and I really need some wisdom on that. We never had a honeymoon phase we built our love intentionally with effort. When we kiss I dont feel butterflies but feel safe? happy and affectionate. When we have sex I dont feel like jumping on his bones also I take ssris and I always been a low libido person. But sex makes us feel closer and it relaxes me but I dont feel that burning desire and this scares me so much.

Because people on social media say if you dont have sparks, sexual lust attraction, then your relationship is doomed but he is perfect dont I love him? This attraction theme really spiked me.

I need some wisdom on this topic.

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are dating for over a year now. Im always a very anxious person in life have health ocd as well.

I love my bf. I admire and love him. I love his smile, how he makes me feel safe and happy, his thinking and everuthing. When we hold hands and hug, I feel like the luckiest girl and feel so safe and warm. He is my rock. I love being affectionate with him, love physical intimacy. I love buying him gifts because I love making him happy. His pains are my pain. Also he is so cute for my eyes he is perfect. I love his good and bad sides as a whole. Also we share the same values.

I went into a spiral about attraction theme recently and I really need some wisdom on that. We never had a honeymoon phase we built our love intentionally with effort. When we kiss I dont feel butterflies but feel safe? happy and affectionate. When we have sex I dont feel like jumping on his bones also I take ssris and I always been a low libido person. But sex makes us feel closer and it relaxes me but I dont feel that burning desire and this scares me so much.

Because people on social media say if you dont have sparks, sexual lust attraction, then your relationship is doomed but he is perfect dont I love him? This attraction theme really spiked me.

I need some wisdom on this topic.

Me 22F and my bf 22M are together for over a year now. This june we went on a holiday and it was amazing and I planned to go again this summer and he doesn’t know. I really love him dor who he is and I just want to make him but my dad said it will hurt him because I will pay the trip and my dad said he would feel defeated and not manly. So my dad and I had an argument and I was trying a whole year to earn money for this holiday and now my heart broke. I worked as a piano teacher and saved all my money. Also I dont want to hurt my bf but we could have a lot of fun. I love him a lot what can I do?
tl;dr what can i do because my bf right now doesnt want me to spend that much money but i saved this for us and my dad confused me

Me 22F and my bf 22M are together for over a year now. This june we went on a holiday and it was amazing and I planned to go again this summer and he doesn’t know. I really love him dor who he is and I just want to make him but my dad said it will hurt him because I will pay the trip and my dad said he would feel defeated and not manly. So my dad and I had an argument and I was trying a whole year to earn money for this holiday and now my heart broke. I worked as a piano teacher and saved all my money. Also I dont want to hurt my bf but we could have a lot of fun. I love him a lot what can I do?

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are together for over a year now. This june we went on a holiday and it was amazing and I planned to go again this summer and he doesn’t know. I really love him dor who he is and I just want to make him but my dad said it will hurt him because I will pay the trip and my dad said he would feel defeated and not manly. So my dad and I had an argument and I was trying a whole year to earn money for this holiday and now my heart broke. I worked as a piano teacher and saved all my money. Also I dont want to hurt my bf but we could have a lot of fun. I love him a lot what can I do?

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are together for over a year now. This june we went on a holiday and it was amazing and I planned to go again this summer and he doesn’t know. I really love him dor who he is and I just want to make him but my dad said it will hurt him because I will pay the trip and my dad said he would feel defeated and not manly. So my dad and I had an argument and I was trying a whole year to earn money for this holiday and now my heart broke. I worked as a piano teacher and saved all my money. Also I dont want to hurt my bf but we could have a lot of fun. I love him a lot what can I do?

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) are together for over a year now. He is my rock, is the most kind, clever, handsome, adorable man for me. I love him because of him. When I hold his hand I feel like the luckiest girl and Im so proud of him. We never had a honeymoon phase or spark, lust when we kiss I dont feel those chemicals but I feel calm, happy, my best self around him. I feel so secure and at ease with him. We have a lot of fun and when he touches me I feel like the luckiest girl.

What triggered me is that my cousin and his gf broke up and they had been together for five and half years. He said I was bored she was bored it became a routine. This spiraled me a LOT. He is like I dont care but what did he want from a long term relationship ofcourse there will be stability isnt it great? My mom is like you need adrenaline, spark, lust he did the right thing by breaking up you need to chase the highs.

Isnt love a choice?

Me (22f) and my bf (22m) have been dating for a year. We didnt have a honeymoon period but we grew to love eachother. He is so handsome, funny, when Im with him we laugh a ton, I feel like my true self with him, I feel so safe, calm and my nervous system is at ease with him. When he touches me holds my hand I feel like the luckiest girl. I always want to choose to love him

What spiked me is the magazine show on tv and my mom. My mom and tv says you need to have lust, spark, infatuation feelings and if you dont then thats not love and you have to break up. This scares me a lot and I dont want to lose him.

Also the media scares me a lot as well. Social media says you need to feel euphoric when you kiss but I dont feel that. I feel so secure and admirable. It is like a warm blanket. They say sexual chemistry is a must but when we get intimate in bed I dont feel like ripping his clothes off. Ofcourse when Im in the mood, I love to be intimate with him but I have a low libido in general because of SSRI and in general.

In conclusion, Is this love? Does it worthless and is my mom right? Cant love be built nor be chosen?

Im (21f) dating my bf (21m) for nearly a year now. We are in a long term relationship. Im a really anxious person and also I have other form of ocd as well and I get therapy for that (severe health ocd).

My bf and I met online and we didnt have a spark, lust, honeymoon phase but we built our love together. Also before we became official, I made the first move by kissing him.

He is the most attractive, cute, funny, clever, kind man to me. I really love him for who he is. When I hold his hand, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I also love his smell to me he smells really good. I love him touching me, grabbing my waist and kissing me. I also enjoy kissing him but I dont feel excited or agitated when we kiss but I really feel secure and calm and in peace. I enjoy spending time with him and share my deepest secrets with him. I feel so protected and safe with him.

I know his bad sides but I love him for who he actually is. I accept those.

What spikes my rocd is that people say you need spark, chemistry, lust and if you dont want to jump on him then you dont love him and you are doomed. I dont want that, he is the most amazing boyfriend for me. I take ssri medication as well so I have low libido (Im also someone who has a low libido) but sex is not the most important thing for me but because I love my bf I make effort in bed as well. But people say if you dont feel electric when he touches you, you are doomed and this spikes my anxiety so much I cant breathe. I just want to choose to love him. I want him to be my future childs dad. Can I choose to love him? Do I love him? Im so scared.

Im (21f) dating my bf (21m) for nearly a year now. We are in a long term relationship. Im a really anxious person and also I have other form of ocd as well and I get therapy for that (severe health ocd).

My bf and I met online and we didnt have a spark, lust, honeymoon phase but we built our love together. Also before we became official, I made the first move by kissing him.

He is the most attractive, cute, funny, clever, kind man to me. I really love him for who he is. When I hold his hand, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I also love his smell to me he smells really good. I love him touching me, grabbing my waist and kissing me. I also enjoy kissing him but I dont feel excited or agitated when we kiss but I really feel secure and calm and in peace. I enjoy spending time with him and share my deepest secrets with him. I feel so protected and safe with him.

I know his bad sides but I love him for who he actually is. I accept those.

What spikes my rocd is that people say you need spark, chemistry, lust and if you dont want to jump on him then you dont love him and you are doomed. I dont want that, he is the most amazing boyfriend for me. I take ssri medication as well so I have low libido (Im also someone who has a low libido) but sex is not the most important thing for me but because I love my bf I make effort in bed as well. But people say if you dont feel electric when he touches you, you are doomed and this spikes my anxiety so much I cant breathe. I just want to choose to love him. I want him to be my future childs dad. Can I choose to love him? Do I love him? Im so scared.

Im (21f) dating my bf (21m) for nearly a year now. We are in a long term relationship. Im a really anxious person and also I have other form of ocd as well and I get therapy for that (severe health ocd).

My bf and I met online and we didnt have a spark, lust, honeymoon phase but we built our love together. Also before we became official, I made the first move by kissing him.

He is the most attractive, cute, funny, clever, kind man to me. I really love him for who he is. When I hold his hand, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I also love his smell to me he smells really good. I love him touching me, grabbing my waist and kissing me. I also enjoy kissing him but I dont feel excited or agitated when we kiss but I really feel secure and calm and in peace. I enjoy spending time with him and share my deepest secrets with him. I feel so protected and safe with him.

I know his bad sides but I love him for who he actually is. I accept those.

What spikes my rocd is that people say you need spark, chemistry, lust and if you dont want to jump on him then you dont love him and you are doomed. I dont want that, he is the most amazing boyfriend for me. I take ssri medication as well so I have low libido (Im also someone who has a low libido) but sex is not the most important thing for me but because I love my bf I make effort in bed as well. But people say if you dont feel electric when he touches you, you are doomed and this spikes my anxiety so much I cant breathe. I just want to choose to love him. I want him to be my future childs dad. Can I choose to love him? Do I love him? Im so scared.

Im in a bad spiral because of some reddit subs and I wanted to share with you guys because my ocd is also bad today. Why do some people never find their partner enough? Or they say chemistry is so important, spark is a must etc They say that person is amazing but they need to feel the ‘it’ and this scares me so much today and i mean i dont get it. Because they say that ‘it’ is a must. They say the sparks are a must or the adrenaline dopamine stuff. They have to have this honeymoon phase its also a must they say. And if your relationship dont have the it then omg you are in trouble. But İ mean this is so stupid because what do you want more from a partner if they are amazing? People are not grateful and loving and they follow after this spark feeling and they cant even describe it. They say amazing is never enough. I mean for example my parents did arranged marriage and they love each other. So love is also a practice. Please help with this thing

Im (21f) dating my bf (21m) for a year now. Im a really anxious person and also I have other form of ocd as well and I get therapy for that ( health ocd).We met online and we didnt have a spark, lust, honeymoon phase but we built our love together.

He is the most attractive, cute, funny, clever, kind man to me. I really love him for who he is. When I hold his hand, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I also love his smell to me he smells really good. I love him touching me, grabbing my waist and kissing me. I also enjoy kissing him but I dont feel excited or fireworks when we kiss but I really feel secure and calm and in peace. I enjoy spending time with him and share my deepest secrets with him. I feel so protected and safe with him. I know his bad sides but I love him for who he actually is. I accept those.

What spikes my rocd is that people say you need spark, chemistry, lust and if you dont want to jump on him then you dont love him and you are doomed. I dont want that, he is the most amazing boyfriend for me. I take ssri medication as well so I have low libido (Im also someone who has a low libido) but sex is not the most important thing for me but because I love my bf I make effort in bed as well. But people say if you dont feel electric when he touches you, you are doomed and this spikes my anxiety so much I cant breathe. I just want to choose to love him. I want him to be my future childs dad. Can I choose to love him? Do I love him? Im so scared.

I posted something similar but because of an error I cant see all the responds so im posting. What is this? What is love?

Im (21f) dating my bf (21m) for nearly a year now. We are in a long term relationship. Im a really anxious person and also I have other form of ocd as well and I get therapy for that (severe health ocd).

My bf and I met online and we didnt have a spark, lust, honeymoon phase but we built our love together. Also before we became official, I made the first move by kissing him.

He is the most attractive, cute, funny, clever, kind man to me. I really love him for who he is. When I hold his hand, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I also love his smell to me he smells really good. I love him touching me, grabbing my waist and kissing me. I also enjoy kissing him but I dont feel excited or agitated when we kiss but I really feel secure and calm and in peace. I enjoy spending time with him and share my deepest secrets with him. I feel so protected and safe with him.

I know his bad sides but I love him for who he actually is. I accept those.

What spikes my rocd is that people say you need spark, chemistry, lust and if you dont want to jump on him then you dont love him and you are doomed. I dont want that, he is the most amazing boyfriend for me. I take ssri medication as well so I have low libido (Im also someone who has a low libido) but sex is not the most important thing for me but because I love my bf I make effort in bed as well. But people say if you dont feel electric when he touches you, you are doomed and this spikes my anxiety so much I cant breathe. I just want to choose to love him. I want him to be my future childs dad. Can I choose to love him? Do I love him? Im so scared.

Im (21f) dating my bf (21m) for nearly a year now. We are in a long term relationship. Im a really anxious person and also I have other form of ocd as well and I get therapy for that (severe health ocd).

My bf and I met online and we didnt have a spark, lust, honeymoon phase but we built our love together. Also before we became official, I made the first move by kissing him.

He is the most attractive, cute, funny, clever, kind man to me. I really love him for who he is. When I hold his hand, I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I also love his smell to me he smells really good. I love him touching me, grabbing my waist and kissing me. I also enjoy kissing him but I dont feel excited or agitated when we kiss but I really feel secure and calm and in peace. I enjoy spending time with him and share my deepest secrets with him. I feel so protected and safe with him.

I know his bad sides but I love him for who he actually is. I accept those.

What spikes my rocd is that people say you need spark, chemistry, lust and if you dont want to jump on him then you dont love him and you are doomed. I dont want that, he is the most amazing boyfriend for me. I take ssri medication as well so I have low libido (Im also someone who has a low libido) but sex is not the most important thing for me but because I love my bf I make effort in bed as well. But people say if you dont feel electric when he touches you, you are doomed and this spikes my anxiety so much I cant breathe. I just want to choose to love him. I want him to be my future childs dad. Can I choose to love him? Do I love him? Im so scared.