u/sillypigeon76

Hi, 4'10/58 in

I currently drive a kia soul, but may need smth different soon.

What does everyone else drive?

I have gone to concerts for 10 years now. I've been to over 30 in my life. Which id say is a lot compared to most people. My dad always took me. He loved that I shared his love of rock music. I thought I also loved it- the concerts.

I dont.

I went to one recently and I realized that I was waiting for it to be over. All the people around me, all the different smells, having to wear earbuds all night, even the anxiety of some catastrophic event happening and not being able to get out or not being familiar with the city I was in. The lack of control over the situation contributed to the fatigue.

Especially the fact most people drink at shows. I hate being around anyone intoxicated, let alone strangers all up in your personal space.

Maybe my dad kept me from that part, made me feel safe. But I have only gone to two shows without him. Both with my boyfriend. It's our first time living life. I'm not saying he's stupid. It's just my dad has been around longer. And he's quite frankly a know it all asshole so I always trusted his judgement regardless. He had been across Tennessee all his life and knew all the venues from growing up there himself. So I felt safer.

But now I'm having some identity crisis wondering what my "thing" even is. I'm so incredibly boring. I dont even enjoy concerts. I don't enjoy shopping. I don't enjoy anything. How can anyone love me this way. I was honest with my boyfriend. Maybe my new antidepressant makes me realize how much I've been masking or helps me realize I was putting up with stuff I didn't actually enjoy?

My dad always noticed how stoic I was when I went to shows. I never "got into it," screaming or singing or moving around. I'd clap and yell at the end of a song but I'd never really let loose like all the other people there. I probably looked like I had a stick up my ass. Maybe I did. Maybe I never truly knew how uncomfortable I was.

Not to mention the crisis I have packing a bag. Idk, that's a whole seperate aspect. Having all the right items and panicking over every little thing.

Hell, I looked forward to getting food after the show more than I did the actual concert. I always looked forward to posting my videos on YouTube because it made my dad happy and even for a while I thought I wanted to film concerts as a career and then later on I wanted to do sound engineering. But im too autistic for that too. I dont know who I am. I always loved flexing that I went to so many shows, but I don't think I enjoyed the shows themselves. Just the fact I went and had bragging rights.

Idk why im posting this. I feel goofy.

Everything sucks and I hate eating. Just looking for ideas. I love pastas and some soups but im still so picky. Just describe how things taste to me when u suggest them so I can maybe grasp if I could handle it lmao?

I just want ideas. I don't like too much flavor. I'm trying to eat out less. Fast food is my only vice tbh. But it racks up in money over time.

Is this guy attracted to me? Male coworker

Is this guy attracted to me? I DONT LIKE HIM BACK I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!

I (f20) have a male coworker (m17)

He is very friendly to all three of us, all women, he is the only male that we regularly work with.

But im worried he's more friendly towards me. Forgive me for seeming narcissistic.

He is aware of my age for sure. It is a constant joke among us, calling me "unc" and making jokes like "grown ass woman by the way"

Here are examples:

At first he’d play music on the TV and ask constantly if I liked the song or his music taste, and I just said I didn’t care. He’s asked me multiple times what music I like and if I wanted to play music on the tv. He’s asked this several times.

We were closing one day and he brought me my purse but he was wearing it.

And he went "do i look like a bad bitch"

And posed with it. Additionally, he went and got us subway and I lent him my card to buy mine with. Idk if this matters but it was that cashapp card you can put a set amount on so I wasn't like letting him free with my actual debit card. When he got back, he didn't hand it to me directly, he instead invited himself to put the card in the zipper of my purse (in the back room) and said "oh yeah I put your card back in your purse all cute for ya" (pic attached)

And when he brought me my food he said

"i put your card in your bag all cute for you"

See pic.

I called him a bad driver and he joked and said I should let him drive me to my car.

He remembered that I dont have pierced ears when he found an earring in the back room, saying "this cant be yours, your ears arent pierced"

I brought that new apple pie from mcdonalds

And I was like hesitant to try it

And he was like"You wanna do a taste test together?"

Me: "No dont make it weird"

"Nah not like that I meant split it"

Also I never knew he wear contacts (i dont do eye contact a lot, im High func autistic) and we talked about that and now he wears glasses, after I told him to be careful sleeping in them and not to shower with them in

And he also brought up my height (im 58 in/4'10) making jokes that seem like teasing to me.

Him: \*reaching into cabniet above sink\*

"Watch your head- oh well, you dont have to"

"What's that supposed to mean"

Him: "short shit"

Also I texted him one night after leaving work (work related) and the text conversation went as follows

Me: Did i forget my tips

Him:

H

Yrs

Yes

Come back

Me:

Nah lmao

Him:

Ugh

I guess I'll have to take it

Me:

Dw ab it

You're the one closing

Him:

Thank you

Randomly while cleaningn close to closing,

We were cleaning and he said "you're funny, by the way"

Me: "What?"

Him: "You said earlier you werent funny"

Me: "Oh, well thanks"

Him; "Yeah dude you're funny"

Me: "For a girl, perhaps"

Him: "Nah. For a guy"

I guess he meant im funny in mens standards?

He also, (ugh this part is cringe) insisted on taking a fursona quiz and finding out what his animal fursona would be after I opened up about having an animal original character of my own. I don't actually own a suit, it's just art of a character I created to represent myself rather than drawing me as a human or whatever. He found it neat and was joking about finding out what animal he would be. He even used a fursona creator to make his own.

Im just worried he is getting too comfortable. He has mentioned having a crush on someone but refuses to show me "in case I know them" and mentioned that there is an age gap but he said that she is 18. That could be a lie. He also said she is single. I am very much not and he knows that. I am in a long term relationship and bring up my boyfriend often. Not even to make a point to male coworker, I just naturally talk about my boyfriend a lot, to women coworkers too. He is just a big part of my life. Anyway, when I asked him about his crush, he worded it as "I'm talking to a girl, but I don't know if she knows we are talking" if that makes sense. Like he means that she may not think they are talking? "Talking" as in like building a relationship I guess. Idk how to put it. We don’t ever talk outside of work (I've made sure not to, I never would want to give any ideas). He has opened up to me about personal things, which I won't disclose here, but wanted to mention the fact he had opened up to me about things. But I think he is pretty open to the other female coworkers too (there are three females) but not sure which degree it is to. I'm not sure if he's just friendly and naturally sassy like that, or it's more specific towards me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I hope I put everything necessary. Ask any questions, I'm down.

Is this guy attracted to me? I DONT LIKE HIM BACK I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!

I (f20) have a male coworker (m17)

He is very friendly to all three of us, all women, he is the only male that we regularly work with.

But im worried he's more friendly towards me. Forgive me for seeming narcissistic.

He is aware of my age for sure. It is a constant joke among us, calling me "unc" and making jokes like "grown ass woman by the way"

Here are examples:

At first he’d play music on the TV and ask constantly if I liked the song or his music taste, and I just said I didn’t care. He’s asked me multiple times what music I like and if I wanted to play music on the tv. He’s asked this several times.

We were closing one day and he brought me my purse but he was wearing it.

And he went "do i look like a bad bitch"

And posed with it. Additionally, he went and got us subway and I lent him my card to buy mine with. Idk if this matters but it was that cashapp card you can put a set amount on so I wasn't like letting him free with my actual debit card. When he got back, he didn't hand it to me directly, he instead invited himself to put the card in the zipper of my purse (in the back room) and said "oh yeah I put your card back in your purse all cute for ya" (pic attached)

And when he brought me my food he said

"i put your card in your bag all cute for you"

See pic.

I called him a bad driver and he joked and said I should let him drive me to my car.

He remembered that I dont have pierced ears when he found an earring in the back room, saying "this cant be yours, your ears arent pierced"

I brought that new apple pie from mcdonalds

And I was like hesitant to try it

And he was like"You wanna do a taste test together?"

Me: "No dont make it weird"

"Nah not like that I meant split it"

Also I never knew he wear contacts (i dont do eye contact a lot, im High func autistic) and we talked about that and now he wears glasses, after I told him to be careful sleeping in them and not to shower with them in

And he also brought up my height (im 58 in/4'10) making jokes that seem like teasing to me.

Him: *reaching into cabniet above sink*

"Watch your head- oh well, you dont have to"

"What's that supposed to mean"

Him: "short shit"

Also I texted him one night after leaving work (work related) and the text conversation went as follows

Me: Did i forget my tips

Him:

H

Yrs

Yes

Come back

Me:

Nah lmao

Him:

Ugh

I guess I'll have to take it

Me:

Dw ab it

You're the one closing

Him:

Thank you

Randomly while cleaningn close to closing,

We were cleaning and he said "you're funny, by the way"

Me: "What?"

Him: "You said earlier you werent funny"

Me: "Oh, well thanks"

Him; "Yeah dude you're funny"

Me: "For a girl, perhaps"

Him: "Nah. For a guy"

I guess he meant im funny in mens standards?

He also, (ugh this part is cringe) insisted on taking a fursona quiz and finding out what his animal fursona would be after I opened up about having an animal original character of my own. I don't actually own a suit, it's just art of a character I created to represent myself rather than drawing me as a human or whatever. He found it neat and was joking about finding out what animal he would be. He even used a fursona creator to make his own.

Im just worried he is getting too comfortable. He has mentioned having a crush on someone but refuses to show me "in case I know them" and mentioned that there is an age gap but he said that she is 18. That could be a lie. He also said she is single. I am very much not and he knows that. I am in a long term relationship and bring up my boyfriend often. Not even to make a point to male coworker, I just naturally talk about my boyfriend a lot, to women coworkers too. He is just a big part of my life. Anyway, when I asked him about his crush, he worded it as "I'm talking to a girl, but I don't know if she knows we are talking" if that makes sense. Like he means that she may not think they are talking? "Talking" as in like building a relationship I guess. Idk how to put it. We don’t ever talk outside of work (I've made sure not to, I never would want to give any ideas). He has opened up to me about personal things, which I won't disclose here, but wanted to mention the fact he had opened up to me about things. But I think he is pretty open to the other female coworkers too (there are three females) but not sure which degree it is to. I'm not sure if he's just friendly and naturally sassy like that, or it's more specific towards me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

I hope I put everything necessary. Ask any questions, I'm down.

I may just quit shopping at bath and body works. I obsess constantly over smelling good, reapplying (i even buy those little bottles that you can refill for purses) and having a signature scent. I worry about mixing scents (the lotion, deoderant, body wash, even my pocketbac all has to match in some way or i get upset)

I can't have a vanilla deoderant with Into The Night, for example. I get upset they don't "match" and im so anal about having things go together. Sure they may smell nice layered but I still get upset. For no reason.

I never smell bad. But I get too upset and into it. I may just start wearing deoderant. I dont even like lotion. I just wear it because it smells nice. But it never feels great to me or anything. Never had issues with dry skin.

Also the mists never last anymore. What's the point. I've been disappointed by all the releases lately. Peeps smelled great but didn't last worth a damn. Nor does my beloved warm vanilla sugar. She was my first ever scent. Vanilla Romance even started lacking.

Im a minimalist anyway. I just need to get rid of all this stuff. I get so concerned. I know its stupid and irrational but the only way I can stop is just completely.

Is anyone else stupid like this? No offense lol just a jab at myself

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Im feeling so resentful. People have always wronged me or I have always made friends with toxic people not realizing I'm being used or screwed over in some way. I made a good friend but she never texts me. She now lives an hour away for summer and she never reaches out unless I do first. She sometimes posts on her social media but never texts me. Im becoming resentful and want to be aggressive to her. I'm nobody's first choice. Ever. I dont even think she's being rude on purpose. I dont care. Why can't someone just love me. My boyfriend loves me but other than that I'm nobody's first choice. There's not even anything wrong with me. I'm pretty cool. I like hanging out with her but she's so bad at texting and I'm almost positive she DOES text other people, just not me. I don't understand it. I'm so angry and frustrated. I dont even wanna bring it up because I don't wanna sound like some crazy bitch. I also have bpd so that worsens things.

I dont know what to do. I wanna lash out at her. She obviously doesn't care

I even texted her at one point "I miss you sm" being vulnerable and she said "i miss you too, you've been in my thoughts"

Then reach out? The fuck? I'm right here, I'm a very accessible friend, I'm willing to do anything with you

She doesn't even have a job or drive. She's just ignoring me.

Would it be offensive or bad to wear merch? I ask because of The Station nightclub tragedy. Idk if this question is stupid. Looking for input.

I found a shirt in goodwill that has "war mode" on it, with a picture from the infamous budd dwyer video. Any info on it? What is "war mode?"