u/slicksquids

I (27F) am celebrating my birthday next month. My sister (34F) took the day before off so we could celebrate my birthday because it would be easier.

Today, she says she wants to go to a certain theme park we always go to for that day with her and my stepdad (her biological father). I told her I did not want to. I said I wouldn’t mind any other day but the day before my birthday I REALLY didn’t wanna do as it would be overwhelming for me (I’m neurodivergent lmao) and also I’ve been going through severe chronic pain lately. That, combined with the heat would made it fucking miserable for me. PLUS, I already told her that even before she planned this that I wanted to go to the new Teso and go out to dinner.

She proceeded to barrage me with a whole bunch of guilt tripping texts: “I guess I won’t be going to \[THEME PARK\] this summer” “I’ll celebrate your birthday on your actual birthday then I will take myself to \[THEME PARK\] all by myself” “Why can’t we go to teso another day”

I reminded her she explicitly said she took off the day before for my birthday celebration and it was really goddamn rude to demand we celebrate my birthday the way she wanted it. She said she felt like she was being guilted.

I told her about my chronic pain and she told me I had no idea what severe pain is and how hard it is to have time to do the things she wants to do. I told her she can go by herself because turning my birthday into her party is selfish as fuck, and I didn’t care if she wanted to be like that. She told me I was “out to get my stepdad and her for money”.

I told her it was pathetic to be crying and screaming because I wanted to do what I wanted for my birthday celebration. She said “the only one throwing a tantrum here is you” and “be selfish all by yourself”.

She blocked me after this and is now sending my stepdad to harass me via text. I feel guilty because she said this is the only Sunday she’d get off all summer but I really do not wanna spend my birthday celebration at a theme park. I’d be fucking miserable all day and I just rather have a lowkey birthday.

AITAH?

I (27F) am celebrating my birthday next month. My sister (34F) took the day before off so we could celebrate my birthday because it would be easier.

Today, she says she wants to go to a certain theme park we always go to for that day with her and my stepdad (her biological father). I told her I did not want to. I said I wouldn’t mind any other day but the day before my birthday I REALLY didn’t wanna do as it would be overwhelming for me (I’m neurodivergent lmao) and also I’ve been going through severe chronic pain lately. That, combined with the heat would made it fucking miserable for me. PLUS, I already told her that even before she planned this that I wanted to go to the new Teso and go out to dinner.

She proceeded to barrage me with a whole bunch of guilt tripping texts:

“I guess I won’t be going to [THEME PARK] this summer”
“I’ll celebrate your birthday on your actual birthday then I will take myself to [THEME PARK] all by myself”
“Why can’t we go to teso another day”

I reminded her she explicitly said she took off the day before for my birthday celebration and it was really goddamn rude to demand we celebrate my birthday the way she wanted it. She said she felt like she was being guilted.

I told her about my chronic pain and she told me I had no idea what severe pain is and how hard it is to have time to do the things she wants to do. I told her she can go by herself because turning my birthday into her party is selfish as fuck, and I didn’t care if she wanted to be like that. She told me I was “out to get my stepdad and her for money”.

I told her it was pathetic to be crying and screaming because I wanted to do what I wanted for my birthday celebration. She said “the only one throwing a tantrum here is you” and “be selfish all by yourself”.

She blocked me after this and is now sending my stepdad to harass me via text. I feel guilty because she said this is the only Sunday she’d get off all summer but I really do not wanna spend my birthday celebration at a theme park. I’d be fucking miserable all day and I just rather have a lowkey birthday.

AITA?

EDIT: For anyone wondering for an update, she apologized this morning and said she was being selfish and unfair. She also apologized for the pain comment.

This past week my (27NB) boyfriend (24M) boyfriend came up to Boston to see me. He lives in a different state.

Things went well, we went out to dinner, went to the aquarium, he was there when I got my septum pierced, etc. My cats also loved him and would cry for him when he would come to my house after we went out for the day.

For context, my family is not financially well off. Me and my mom are on benefits and I go to college using aid since I cannot afford it otherwise. I also deal with several mental health issues. My mom deals with health issues as well. My boyfriend is aware of this.

When he left, my mother (64F) kept bringing up the fact he spent a lot on me this week. We had gone out to dinner, we went to the movies, we went to Miniso and he bought me some things. He also paid for the tickets to when we went to the tea party museum and quite a few Ubers while we were there. He also paid for some of my things on a target run. I kept asking him if he was uncomfortable with it, and I would pay if he wanted me to. He said no, that he would pay, because he loved me and wanted me to be happy.

My mom keeps guilting me. She says I should have bought him a shirt, or gave him the whole box of 15$ taffy I bought at the museum (I had never had salt water taffy and really wanted some. I shared some with him and he told me to keep the rest). She’s essentially implying I’m a bad girlfriend and I don’t know if I’m an asshole because my boyfriend keeps insisting it’s fine and he did it because he wanted to. He says I don’t owe him anything and that even if he did want the taffy, he had no room for other souvenirs in his bag.

So. AITAH?