u/sofie28ee

Im extremely tired. Everything that i used to wish for never gonna come true or happen at least once. I realised that ive never gotten any luck in my life cause if i’ve obtained it, my life would’ve been like this. No matter how much i tried, it never got any better. Im tired of crying everyday. I hate life

Currently, I have been accepted into the ComSci major at the university in my country. Even though It’s the best university in the country, it’s still ranked 200th (I forgot the actual rank, but it’s about this) in QS world ranking. That made me scared about problems in working abroad that will follow after graduation. I’m also preparing to study abroad, but I used to take a gap year already, so I’m a little concerned about my age if I have to take another year cause the majority of international universities have already closed.

My dream is to move abroad :)

I've been finding this for almost an hour and couldn't find them :( 😭

Edit: I inserted the cover pic in the comment

I had never been scared of lizards like this. It started when I saw a lizard clinging to the wall in my house and its color was red which meant it had eaten something poisonous and that was the initiating point of my phobia.

I’ve been intensely scared of lizards for almost 2 years and I can't recover from that incident. I wanna cry and be paranoid every time I hear them make noises or see them. Even when choosing a university, I didn't choose one with my dream major because I was panicked about whether they had lizards in it. I can't even see them on the phone or pic, I feel disgusted and really wanna brawl my eyes out.

I’m trying not to go home and live in a condo instead cause I can't handle those disgusting ones😭😭😭 but someone living above me threw it down to my balcony so it's clinging to my glass door balcony rn OMFG😭😭😭 I don't want to do the laundry anymore cause I don't wanna open that door

It’s like everything is collapsing. I want to move out and start my new life in other countries cause there’s nothing good here. No one has ever supported my dreams( I wanna be a musician and move abroad) and that made me have enough living here. I can’t wait until I’m able to move out and pursue my dream.

I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder last 3 weeks, and I was prescribed Lithium(3 capsules per day) and sleep medication(only one per day). I also have maladaptive daydreaming, which I have been dealing with for almost 6 years. My symptom is like talking alone along with my hallucination or my self-created situations. I admitted that my symptoms were worse when I was taking a gap year, which I didn't do the exam getting me into the university very well cause I had spent time on hallucination and fake circumstances in my bedroom, which probably caused me to have bipolar disorder.

Lately, I’m paranoid of everything like there's probably someone trying to break into my house or kill me constantly. When I’m angry or sad, I’d be in an extreme way like I want to die if I don’t get this or my life would completely end. I continuously have a mindset that I wanna die before 20, which is this dec I will be 20.

As I mentioned, I had the exam that was for applying to university this year and I completely ruined it. The result wasn't good, and it made me think I actually wasted my time on fake situations I made up in my mind. Today, I asked my dad that I wanted to apply to this major at this university and when he knew the expense of the curriculum, which I think it's okay cause it’s equivalent to my former school expense, he said, " No, I can't apply to this major cause…”. The solution is just picking the new university or major but I genuinely broke down thinking why my life is bad, and I wanted to jump from the 12th floor, it was like I might have died if I didn’t do this.

I don't know if this is related but I was bullied in high school and it was kind of severe bullying. I don't want to say that I don't care cause I genuinely didn't do anything except crying in my room to heal myself after school but I was more careless than my family's speeches, it bothers me more than anything idk why.

Sometimes, I really wish I had a better life and didn't suffer like this. I'm still not grateful that I'm alive instead of dying in peace.

I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder last 3 weeks, and I was prescribed Lithium(3 capsules per day) and sleep medication(only one per day). I also have maladaptive daydreaming, which I have been dealing with for almost 6 years. My symptom is like talking alone along with my hallucination or my self-created situations. I admitted that my symptoms were worse when I was taking a gap year, which I didn't do the exam getting me into the university very well cause I had spent time on hallucination and fake circumstances in my bedroom, which probably caused me to have bipolar disorder.

Lately, I’m paranoid of everything like there's probably someone trying to break into my house or kill me constantly. When I’m angry or sad, I’d be in an extreme way like I want to die if I don’t get this or my life would completely end. I continuously have a mindset that I wanna die before 20, which is this dec I will be 20.

As I mentioned, I had the exam that was for applying to university this year and I completely ruined it. The result wasn't good, and it made me think I actually wasted my time on fake situations I made up in my mind. Today, I asked my dad that I wanted to apply to this major at this university and when he knew the expense of the curriculum, which I think it's okay cause it’s equivalent to my former school expense, he said, " No, I can't apply to this major cause…”. The solution is just picking the new university or major but I genuinely broke down thinking why my life is bad, and I wanted to jump from the 12th floor, it was like I might have died if I didn’t do this.

I don't know if this is related but I was bullied in high school and it was kind of severe bullying. I don't want to say that I don't care cause I genuinely didn't do anything except crying in my room to heal myself after school but I was more careless than my family's speeches, it bothers me more than anything idk why.

Sometimes, I really wish I had a better life and didn't suffer like this. I'm still not grateful that I'm alive instead of dying in peace.

I know that some countries have considered it as a chemical engineering but it also carries risks that some countries have not.

This business major is packed with the bachelor's degree(3.5 years) and master's degree(1.5 years). It's the curriculum of university that contains 2 degrees when you choose a major. Is it worth choosing it?

Which one is better in terms of wage and future?

I know that some countries have considered it as a chemical engineering but it also carries risks that some countries have not.

This business major is packed with the bachelor's degree(3.5 years) and master's degree(1.5 years). It's the curriculum of university that contains 2 degrees when you choose a major. Is it worth choosing it?

Which one is better in terms of wage and future?