u/somethingreddity

If my 4yo doesn’t take a nap, the rest of the day is…not fun. Very hard to manage. He could take a two hour nap and still sleep through the night.

My 3yo can still take a nap, but if he does, if it’s more than 30 minutes, he’s up till midnight. We still do quiet time for my sanity but I have to give him electronic toys or favorite toys to keep him awake because I do not want him to take a nap. 😂

It’s just so funny because I used to think something was wrong with my first because it wasn’t “normal” to still be on 2 naps at 17 months old, but really I should’ve just counted my blessings for having a kid who was a high needs sleeper.

My 4yo is in preschool. This is like a daycare but with a preschool curriculum and he goes 3 days a week for a full day. In the beginning (September), he had a rough couple weeks but has loved it since then. The past few weeks though, he’s been crying, begging not to go, saying he doesn’t want to go anymore, etc etc. I’ve been trying to figure out the reason and I think I finally figured it out. All of his friends who he plays with got moved up to the 4yo classroom all at once. And the one friend he’s latched onto has been on vacation the last couple weeks. Before that, he had some teacher changes (teacher gave notice, then they had a temp teacher, second teacher quit, and now he’s got two permanent teachers again). So I think the teacher changes plus all his friends moving at once has taken a toll on him.

How do I help him through this?

My now 3yo was in swim lessons for a month before he decided he hated it. Like full on meltdowns, banging his head, hitting himself, stuff he never does otherwise, so we took a break. He still loves water but will not get in swim diapers or swim trunks anymore and it’s summer!! I had to let him have a meltdown for a while day just to get over being in shorts instead of pants and he got over it after a day, but no matter how much I try with swim diapers and swim trunks, he’ll have a meltdown till they’re off. How in the heck can I get him back in them so we can go have some water play in public? 😭

It’s so bad he’ll have a meltdown even seeing pull ups since they look similar so potty training has been fun since we’re still having to use diapers.

I’m having gender disappointment. Never thought I would and I told everyone I’d be totally happy with a third boy. However, once I found out it was a boy, I was kind of sad, which I didn’t even expect. This is 1000% going to be my last kid and I guess I’m just kind of grieving the idea of having a girl. I was not disappointed at all in my first two kids being boys and I was happy stopping there, but we decided to go for a third and now I’m just like oh…THREE boys.

I know it’s going to be okay and I’m so grateful to have my little posse and I know I’ll have so much fun with them, but can anyone just relate with me or tell me how their life is going now with three boys?

Thank you. 😊

I usually am 0% Kara and 100% Guillermo. However, when he just cut her off when she was trying to explain how hard motherhood and postpartum hit her and how she was doing everything, he couldn’t even stop and acknowledge that. He cut her off from saying where her issues may have started to where HIS issues started. He didn’t let her start from the beginning and had to insert himself first.

Now what she did because of feeling that way, obviously not good decisions. But as a person who went from, climbing up the corporate ladder, never dreaming of being a stay at home mom, but then that ended up my reality, it was a HARD time of my life to get used to that. It was lonely, depressing, and isolating to completely lose your sense of self and identity when your partner’s life seems business as usual. So I can understand to a point why, to feel like a human again, she got herself back out there. Again, she didn’t do it right. She shouldn’t have been partying all night, drinking a ton, hanging out with an ex hookup, etc. But the fact that Guillermo couldn’t even sit there for a minute and give her that sympathy and acknowledgment for how hard that had to have been for her gave me the ick.

My 4yo is having his birthday party this Saturday and only 3 people RSVPd. I have no family coming and we don’t really have friends here yet. We just invited his preschool class. I have a venue that allows up to 20 kids and I just don’t know what to do. Should I tell the people that RSVPd that they can bring other friends if they want and no gifts required? There’s supposed to be an activity and everything and I just hate to see it go to waste. 😩

I’m beyond exhausted and tired. I’m in the trenches of my emotions and feel so unhappy that I just don’t have fucks to give. I feel bad because my husband is a good guy and I love him. I see how much he does and know I should be grateful but I need more. The problem lies with when he feels bad, I just get annoyed. I have no sympathy for him. I don’t mean to be like this but it just seems like I’m not cared about at all (emotionally) so I can’t seem to muster a fuck when he feels sick or is hurting and I just tell him to take medicine and suck it up. I know that’s not the right way to go about it but it’s hard.

He works hard, he contributes to the home, he tries to show me he loves me. But he doesn’t understand that the way I feel loved is by acts of service. I don’t want a hug from you when I’ve been cooking dinner and you’ve been on your phone on instagram or reading emails. DO SOMETHING. The feelings of neglect started with his last promotion. He’s always on his phone. People are always calling, texting, emailing. He doesn’t put down his phone to listen to me or my kids half the time. He’ll make US hold on and then try to tell me that we’re the ones he’s working so hard for. But if that were true, then why can’t you put down your phone for two seconds to fully and completely acknowledge us when we’re trying to talk to you. Why can’t you let us finish our conversation and let a phone call go to voicemail and call them back in ONE minute instead of saying hold on and always immediately answering. He cares more about being there for “his people” than how this behavior affects me and the kids. I just don’t know how to get through to him. I’ve told him so many times that I feel like his phone is more important than me and the kids and somehow he doesn’t understand. He loves me, he loves the kids, he’s amazing when he stays off his phone, but I want to chuck his phone in a lake and feel important again.

But now it’s becoming a problem because I’m pregnant and I’ve been feeling like shit and need support and he’s mad about me not being supportive when his neck was hurting so bad that he cried. Ugh. I just want to be happy again. We both want to work on our marriage, it’s far from over and we don’t want it to be over by any means because we love each other, but obviously this isn’t healthy. Where do we go from here? I don’t think we even have time for counseling.

I’m beyond exhausted and tired. I’m in the trenches of my emotions and feel so unhappy that I just don’t have fucks to give. I feel bad because my husband is a good guy and I love him. I see how much he does and know I should be grateful but I need more. The problem lies with when he feels bad, I just get annoyed. I have no sympathy for him. I don’t mean to be like this but it just seems like I’m not cared about at all (emotionally) so I can’t seem to muster a fuck when he feels sick or is hurting and I just tell him to take medicine and suck it up. I know that’s not the right way to go about it but it’s hard.

He works hard, he contributes to the home, he’s a present dad, he tries to show me he loves me. But he doesn’t understand that the way I feel loved is by acts of service. I don’t want a hug from you when I’ve been cooking dinner and you’ve been on your phone on instagram or reading emails. DO SOMETHING. The feelings of neglect started with his last promotion. He’s always on his phone. People are always calling, texting, emailing. He doesn’t put down his phone to listen to me or my kids half the time. He’ll make US hold on and then try to tell me that we’re the ones he’s working so hard for. But if that were true, then why can’t you put down your phone for two seconds to fully and completely acknowledge us when we’re trying to talk to you. Why can’t you let us finish our conversation and let a phone call go to voicemail and call them back in ONE minute instead of saying hold on and always immediately answering. He cares more about being there for “his people” than how this behavior affects me and the kids. I just don’t know how to get through to him. I’ve told him so many times that I feel like his phone is more important than me and the kids and somehow he doesn’t understand. He loves me, he loves the kids, he’s amazing when he stays off his phone, but I want to chuck his phone in a lake and feel important again.

I have unmedicated adhd and it’s all so hard. I try to do room a day, hard. Try to do flylady and I like it, but can’t keep up with it.

What works best for you? I have both kids home 4 days a week and one of them is home with me all the time. Husband only gets one day off a week and I’m not gonna wait till his days off so he can help…I’d rather enjoy our family time together and both of us get to relax.

Now we do a nightly reset that’s non-negotiable. Whoever isn’t doing bedtime cleans up the kitchen, wipes the counters, cleans up toys (we usually do it before the kids go upstairs but in case we didn’t), and sweep the floors or robovac. But the deeper cleaning, I’m just struggling. 😩 I NEED routine but also struggle with routine lol.