u/sunflowerlover3000

Any good meds that are not locked behind prescription for OCD? I've been having a lot of mental health crisis lately due to harassment by some coworkers (some are nice), and my certainty that my job place is trying to twist around the law and abuse of power in some careers under excuses of safety, to frame me for a fraud charge (my bad for using gimini to help a client, my bad for continuing to care so much, should just seen it as job and clients only as customers and not care beyond the minimum, I guess), thus destroying my career and my life, over a political bias against me. Honestly, It no longer matters to me, whether I go to jail or not, it was my mistake for being too caring in a fundamentally wrong world, it was my mistake to try to help and take it as more than a job, no one else's, but the abuse of power to twist things around some of the bare minimum of premises our justice system has, such as fraud charges, is making my already delicate mental health due to this disgusting disease plummet, but for now I cant afford a prescription, so I need to try to deal with this without one. Objectively, their side is the one objectively evil upon the true moral standards of order, continuity, inherent morality, nature, life, intellectualism, beauty, and justice, but regardless of right and wrong, there are certain fundamental freedoms that ought to be protected under certain premises, even more so not used as an excuse of fabricate unrelated things, but logic and truth does not always win over people, emotions and social instincts to fit the crowd, oftentimes win. Regardless, what was, I did not commit fraud, and I'm morally right in a lot of other things, what anyone says doesn't change what is or what was, it just doenst happen that here virtue doesnt matter.

I'm just curious if I as someone who sits in between intj and intp with high intp lean... how doe smy chemistry trnalsate to thos etypes, specially to the istp?

I'm just wondering if ocd not tied to one main theme, but a cluster, with some themes surfacing more than others, count? Also, one of them seem to be about thinking itself, does that count? Or I just have some toher stuff?

I'm wondering because I had a lot of seizures for the last days, my seizures are very strange and rare among PNES, honestly even if I dont fully buy into it I strongly suspect they may be demonic possession but throwing specifics aside, I have gotten brain damage before but usually I feel a kind of burn in my head, but this time I did not get any kind of intense burn in the back of my head, but when I went to work today, even if I could focus more than other times, I noticed I had a lot of diffuclty rmebering whether I had done all the steps in transaction even if I had jut done it. Could I have gotten some kind of silent brain damage? I have gotten brain damage before, but I always manage to pick myself up and rbeuild new stronger connections, even if some scars remain such as my ability to count without using fingers being diminished. Im just worried. I have never had status epilepticus, maybe due to the uniqueness fo my seizures, the fact they are demonic possession (just suspect), or becuas eof my natural low heartbeat, but I wonder, did this time dmaage me silently? I worded the quesiton badly I guess, what I mean is Im right to conclude brian dmaage? How big is the extent of it?

"The night illuminates, unhides the simple essence, by rendering everything into their simplified form. The sun obscures, hides essence via clusters of unnecessary details. The rain swims up from the bottom of the clouds, the edge between planet and galaxy, to the center of the earth. With rain jumping upwards towards the cities stuck to the ball of earth, I wish to fall downwards into the sky, experience the power of descension from the suspension of matter into the freedom of void, beneath my head. What is falling and jumping? If the ball rotates, the sky goes up and down, then when is it jumping or falling, or is merely the name given to movement when it just looks the same within the perspective of the trees stuck in the rotating ball? Is it based on the points of reference used within the ball... then is it then just a fabricated illusion to help us navigate the truth of the landscape? Can falling be moving away from matter, and jumping moving toward matter? Is falling and jumping just the name to the movement on the basis of the type of muscles and their arrangement within? Are bones and flesh a person? Or a person is flesh and bones? Are the dead alive, in the frozenness, of their soul, suspended in that informational identity state as "themselves"? Are the living dead in superposition or dead in waiting? Are the living dying as their identity shifts? If I filled my lungs with liquid, before the unfeeling eyes of the world would I become a vase?" Rather, than changing the order of words, I tried to do the inverse thinking command in another creative way rather than copying words in the inverse. Instead, I tried to inverse the way people navigate reality, define reality, and see/ navigate concepts, I focused in concepts and perceptions such as direction, living, dying, illumination, identity, nature of concepts, and objects. I like writing, I dont know if the poem came as too unhinged, I tried to recreate an inverse way of perceiving reality, but I wnated to do something a bit different with this premise, I saw potential for it.

"The night illuminates, unhides the simple essence, by rendering everything into their simplified form. The sun obscures, hides essence via clusters of unnecessary details. The rain swims up from the bottom of the clouds, the edge between planet and galaxy, to the center of the earth. With rain jumping upwards towards the cities stuck to the ball of earth, I wish to fall downwards into the sky, experience the power of descension from the suspension of matter into the freedom of void, beneath my head. What is falling and jumping? If the ball rotates, the sky goes up and down, then when is it jumping or falling, or is merely the name given to movement when it just looks the same within the perspective of the trees stuck in the rotating ball? Is it based on the points of reference used within the ball... then is it then just a fabricated illusion to help us navigate the truth of the landscape? Can falling be moving away from matter, and jumping moving toward matter? Is falling and jumping just the name to the movement on the basis of the type of muscles and their arrangement within? Are bones and flesh a person? Or a person is flesh and bones? Are the dead alive, in the frozenness, of their soul, suspended in that informational identity state as "themselves"? Are the living dead in superposition or dead in waiting? Are the living dying as their identity shifts? If I filled my lungs with liquid, before the unfeeling eyes of the world would I become a vase?" Rather, than changing the order of words, I tried to do the inverse thinking command in another creative way rather than copying words in the inverse. Instead, I tried to inverse the way people navigate reality, define reality, and see/ navigate concepts, I focused in concepts and perceptions such as direction, living, dying, illumination, identity, nature of concepts, and objects. I like writing, I dont know if the poem came as too unhinged, I tried to recreate an inverse way of perceiving reality, but I wnated to do something a bit different with this premise, I saw potential for it.

https://preview.redd.it/ev0h9n44dgbh1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=ac578f52a769c428b2ed7f0879b105f30f2163a4

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What does my top lifetime crushes say about me? I aslo enjoy them occasionally seeing them in drag, as long as their male anatomy is blatant enoug, but its an enjoyment that come sless out of desire to see them like that and mor elike if i happen to see it i will still enjoy thme and htie rmale antomy even if it snot my preferred form. The crush for sorne is not as strong because he looks too femenine for me but I like his personality enough that I get veyr into hi once in a while and decide it to add him here. Scaramouche not among the top hsuabndos but favored neough to be added here. My top crushes are killua zoldyck (1), enfland (aph), spain (aph), tartaglia, gojo satoru. The rest ar epreferred husbandos.

https://preview.redd.it/jlbdpz70egbh1.png?width=736&format=png&auto=webp&s=d392a7bf733cae6d66f5d1a227be1555bb20a832

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I want to cross train in garden, special services, paints, and hardware. I want to get as much experience as possible. I asked my HR manager if I could cross train in any of these areas? She told me I didn't have to take classes for any of this, or even get a shift for any of these areas, I had to wait till pro desk was slow, and for a manager there to pull me over for me to get cross trained. Gimini told me however, you did need to take training classes to become qualified to know how to make returns and plants, in order to be qualified to take up shifts as garden or special serivces, specially on xchange app. I wonder who's right here? Ive been told wrong things in this store before, and my HR manager had beforehand told me even that those shifts she had to give them to me as the hours appeared for each department, the next day she changed her explanations. I have been told by management to do damage markdowns for undamaged items and chase customers out of the store, or to take extra time in my breaks. How does cross training really work in Home Depot? Also, my manager, who depsite eveything and my doubts I give her the benefit of the doubt and see beauty on her even if she's truly aggresive to me, people are more than how they treat me and they are shades of gray, also I bought a cake for her farewell party and came to give it to her and partake in the party, one of my coworkers invited me to the party (farewell tiny party in prodesk), but she whilst telling me I could ask her for anything, she didnt invite me to participate depsite it beinga few minutes away and I was there and bought the cake, and told me to leave as I didnt have a shift there. Maybe Im just being hypervigilant, but I wonder if they actually hate me and don't want me to succeed?

I dont see my schedule for week jun29-jul5, I wonder if Ill be terminated tomorrow or during that week, and that's why I dont see any hours of that week despite usually posting yesterday or today morning for the third week.