u/sweetlyBRLA

Hi new here.
Warm fur on your lap,
Soft rhythm of a deep purr,
Sadness melts away.

Recently LC with my mom. From what I have been noticing over the recent years is that she’s possibly unmedicated. For what? Not even sure. She’s been extra manic IMO then low. Shes told me almost anytime we talk that she’s not sleeping well.

Something isn’t working anymore. She’s been ok for years until recently, which is around the time she quit her job that I think was helping her get certain prescriptions. For example she would tell me her doctor gave her certain medications. Well come to find out that nurse practitioner was the only one prescribing things. From thyroid meds to hormonal things. She’s quit that job over 2 years ago and says that’s where she got her hormone therapy so she’s been off that since quitting. She had an extreme hysterectomy 30 years ago so I think HRT is permanent?

I really just do not know what is truth about any of her medical issues. She’s also said her doctor sent her to a psychic so there’s that. She will tell me “the doctor is adjusting my dose because I can’t sleep” next I hear “I’m sleepy so the dose changed” then “I’m off that and on this”. I was especially thrown off by how she was using gabapentin she claimed was given to her for shingles flair ups that happen monthly. Didn’t think that was a thing I’m no doctor though. It really seemed like she was using that for a sleep aid. And more seriously she claims she gave some of her mood meds to my sister “to try” and I don’t know which one it was I cant remember maybe Zoloft or lexapro.

I’m enjoying LC and left the door open but so far she hasn’t reached out. My dad is also involved in LC by his own choice which leads me to my question. After some time passes, I think I’ll only remain in contact with them if I can know exactly what I’m dealing with. I really doubt my dad knows details of exactly what she has going on. I would request either him or I go to an appointment with her. And I want to get a list of past and present meds/diagnosis. I don’t even know what appointment I’d want to see records from. I seriously doubt she has a regular doctor and I think she might doctor hop. Either way, maybe it would give my dad a reality check of what is actually going on. He knows she has issues but I really don’t think he knows it might be more involved personality disorder. Like she needs a weekly therapist. As far as I know he might think it’s just depression/anxiety because she was always on lexapro my whole life that I know of.

TLDR: emotionally drained and angry. Maybe I could have done things different but I am just at wits end.

Over a few months I’ve been very intentional with how I interact with my mom. She does have some type of mental disorder and I have no idea what it is because she has told me so many names of meds she’s constantly changing. I’m not sure what is actually true, either.

I’ve communicated boundaries that were met with defensiveness and silent treatment. I’ve basically been giving her every opportunity to listen to me concerning my 2 children. It’s like she lost interest in my kids once my sibling had their baby just a few months after I had my second child. There’s a lot I could say but it is affecting my oldest especially. Favoritism sucks.

I had planned on continuing grey rocking and slowly reduce contact since we had a vacation planned with my parents. But a day before we left mom let me know she had invited my sibling and their baby and other parent. Beyond annoyed but we made it through and when we got back i just needed space. Some other stuff happened during this vacation as well.

When we got back from the trip I ignored more texts than usual and it just so happened mom was having an outpatient procedure these days. She called it surgery and was really exaggerating it (I have a medical background) so I never really responded to my dad’s quick update after it was done. Woke up the next day to a text from my dad saying “don’t let the day end without coming here and apologizing”. Yeah. Didn’t respond at all.

By the end of that day they came over unannounced to see “whats wrong”. My children were obviously excited to see them and we did let them in. I got the whole you never responded to our texts so what happened and i said i’m not talking about that in front of the kids. And they left after about 15mins of awkwardness.

My mom starts texting me screenshots of our last interaction and saying this was the last thing we talked about (I know what I said). I took a few hours to gather my thoughts and laid it all out that I need space and
I’m only accepting visits from them scheduled in advance. It’s not a decision I made lightly or over one isolated incident but I need to do what’s best for my family. It’s not punishment or an argument but please respect what I’m asking for now.

She responded that she thinks this is because of “xyz” and that nothing warrants this. She’s done nothing to me. I’m just mad because of “xyz”. Etc

I just didn’t respond. The whole issue I have is her thinking she’s not doing anything wrong and my dad just wants to keep the peace but he can f right off too. Never once did they ask, hey haven’t heard from you since the trip is everything ok? My mom’s silent treatment towards me lasts weeks and she all the sudden pops in like nothing happened or she was “sick” and I’ve never gotten an apology. I’m not the parent and I have my own children to worry about now.

TLDR: my mom booked the same resort and days we were going, didn’t tell me she invited my brother + his gf and baby, hardly saw my children, spent most time with my brother’s baby who is a few months younger than my baby. Never made efforts to spend any time with us.

Background my mom has been showing favoritism with my brother’s baby. We typically take a vacation together and split the cost of a condo. It’s been just me, husband, one child and my parents. Both of my parents have always been hands off on these trips. Last year was the first time our second baby went to the beach and we had no interactions with them despite being a few rooms away. I admit I was reluctant to do it again this year. And since my brother’s baby was born my mom is showing favoritism toward my brother’s baby that is only months apart from my second child. I have another post about that situation I can link to anyone who really wants to read lol

This year she wanted to include my brother and his baby and gf. They have declined our invites every year since we’ve been going together. No problem with that but she never found a condo big enough for us all so I took it upon myself to book our own thing before it was too late. Plus we have not seen her nearly as often to even discuss a plan (her actions). She was also dragging her feet IMO because she knew my brother wouldn’t be able to afford his portion if we all went in on a big condo. I made it clear that I would not be interested in paying for their way.

But minutes after I told her I booked our trip, she booked a separate condo at the same resort for the same nights we were staying. She got a one bedroom with bunks and sleeper sofa but never told me if my brother was coming. The day before we left she nonchalantly said she told my brother where we usually stop for lunch when we go to Florida. So that’s how she broke the news they were coming too.

Fine we have our own place but this just made it more certain in my head that they would be busy with my nephew probably more than usual. I had originally thought maybe this was her way of spending some quality time with my kids and getting away from my brother constantly leaving their baby with them.

My husband and I agreed to think of it as “we are on our vacation and if we see them, we see them-if we don’t, we don’t. no expectations.” Sure enough my mom was totally consumed with their baby. We never saw them or my brother despite being one floor away and able to speak to them from our separate balconies. My brother and his family actually left a few days early and we saw them even less. Out of about 5 days, besides dinner, we spent 3 hours on the beach together and they never came by or invited us over to their room.

I’m not sure if they asked or my daughter asked about a sleepover but the night we went to dinner my daughter rode back to the resort with them. When we got back my mom said she can stay the night. Ok it was almost 10pm so I figured maybe they will do something the next day. Nope I get an early morning text that my mom has plans to meet up with a friend that lives there for lunch. My daughter wasn’t awake yet but less than an hour later she was texting me they were bringing her back. So she was with them from 10pm-10am. They never saw my baby. The next day we checked out so no real plans or real effort to see my children all while my brother and gf left them with the baby and did whatever they wanted apparently, not even going to the beach. This is from what my dad told me the 2nd day when we were at the beach together. His words were “they feed the baby and put him down for a nap and ask us to stay with him so they can go do something for a few hours.” Ok got it.

Now here’s the kicker. After we all got back my mom asked us to come by their house a few days later because she got my oldest something and never had the chance to give it to her (this was so infuriating to hear) still I went over. It was a small keychain exactly like one she got herself on our trip. That was pretty funny to me.

As we were leaving my baby was kind of fussing not wanting to leave and my mom says “you wanna stay the night with me, oh wait your cousin is about to be here. You can come stay tomorrow. Ok?” My oldest gets VERY excited and we leave. The next day I texted her “what time will you come get them like you said yesterday” her response was “I can’t have them over I’m working tomorrow.sorry” I just laughed. What is going on? What more could I do? Was this a manipulation thing because why would you go through the trouble to book out exact vacation and then act like the last thing you want is to see our kids or even us?

I have an almost 11 y/o and 2 y/o. They have another grandchild that is about 8m old. Recently my nephew has been left with my parents a lot. Recently he was left with them from 7am-midnight so his parents could take a day trip to the beach 4 hours away. That is their choice, even though I wouldn’t do that (and never did). My issue is when we visit the baby is either already there or gets dropped off and my children can’t visit with their grands. Again that’s my parents’ choice but my parents’ attention is almost totally consumed with the baby. Mind you, I just had our second and never saw them dote on my baby like they do with my nephew. For some reason my mom just holds him and acts like she can’t do anything which is understandable with a newborn but this baby is almost crawling and actually fusses to be put down and she just takes him to the nursery room away from us. So it’s become something I wanted to address.

The last time we were there was the time when my nephew was there so his parents could go to the beach. We came to visit and after about 4 hours of us being alone in their living room I decided to just go. The baby was fussing and my mom even made a point to say he wasn’t fussing all day until we got there. She also said when they dropped him off he had low fever so maybe the fever was back. So I took the hint and left, especially if he had fever. I obviously don’t want us to get sick.

The next day I had a conversation and told my mom that no matter if she invites us over or we want to swing by, I would like to know if my nephew is there so I decide if we should come. I don’t know how she took this but she made the comment that if my kids can’t come over with their cousin around then it’s only fair if she makes that rule for my brother. I said that’s up to her, and I don’t think that’s necessary because it’s not about the baby being there it’s about my kids being able to spend time with them while they visit.

It’s been almost 3 weeks and my mom has spoke to me on the phone like usual every few days but hasn’t asked to see us at all. Not to come to our house or vice versa. Not sure what to do from here.

TLDR: My siblings are 32 (living with a partner that works PT) and 27 (with a partner that doesn’t work and <1 y/o baby). Ive confirmed questionable transactions with my parents after digging through their stuff. It goes beyond just helping my siblings because I have looked into exactly where the money is going. My siblings are lying and being dishonest about what the money is for. Ultimately it’s my parents’ choice so should I speak directly to my siblings?

I am the oldest and know a lot about my parents finances just from what they tell me in conversation. They are approaching their 70s so I was initially concerned about scams and unnecessary subscriptions done on their phones or stuff like that. I have a general idea of their income and expenses. Recently I have found out exactly how much they are giving to my younger siblings when I began helping my dad look into a mortgage refi. I work for a CPA and do bookkeeping/expense reports etc so they asked me to track everything. I was given my mom’s iPad she uses for her small business and access all of their bills and accounts.

Some concerning things I’ve found: Both have bank accounts that my parents still have access to from when they were minors. Pretty much anytime parents see their account is overdrawn they cover the negative. I know atleast 1 of them has a credit card in my mom’s name that they use. The card was given to them for gas money. Come to find out the transactions are from a smoke shop and a casino/truck stop. The 32 year old decided to start college and told my mom she can’t cover the costs so my mom is paying for the first semester but when my sibling was asked for the link to the bursar site, my sibling made some excuse about it being complicated and the money can just be sent via Zelle. A request for $1500 was sent to my mom. I can see all of their texts and just from May to now I have calculated over $4000 in cash given. From the texts it seems they ask for cash here and there for gas or groceries and the one with a baby says it’s for diapers. For example $45 for diapers every week for 2 months. As a married mother of 2, I don’t spend anywhere near that on gas or groceries. And diapers for a week are def not $45.

My parents solution which I think will curb some requests is to ask them for receipts. Should I reach out directly to my siblings and tell them to cut back and I know they are lying about what they are using the money for.

What are the options if only polyps are found? I discussed starting NuvaRing bc if biopsy was non-malignant and it is. Never been on birth control but I’m willing to try anything to relieve the pain.

I have a history of very heavy periods. But recently I decided to raise my concerns to my OB when the painful cramps that were usually in my back have reduced but now I feel intense one-sided hip pain about a week before my cycle starts. It is sciatica-like pain. This is what I brought up to my OB plus some light post-coital spotting. Had ultrasound and endometrial biopsy. I was on day 3/4 of my cycle when I had the biopsy done.

Ultrasound showed nothing remarkable.

Biopsy results
-Benign proliferative endometrium with focal stromal condensation, hemorrhage and fibrin thrombi suggestive of breakdown.
-Fragments suggestive of benign endometrial polyp(s). -Rare fragments of benign endocervical tissue

1 week ago I had a minor injury that required a look over at the company clinic on-site then a follow up offsite. I’m a contract worker on a permanent position at a plant. To my knowledge it wasn’t a reportable incident but I’m sure something was reported. Especially now since today (1 week later) I get a call from my boss’s boss that a company called Broadspire emailed my contract company and the plant site’s people about wages missed with a claim number and everything. My superiors are well aware of what happened and we all know I didn’t miss any hours so they have asked me to handle it. I immediately called and had no assistance but was told a rep would reach out soon. I’ve googled broadspire and see some questionable practices, so what should I do. Is this fraudulent and how do they have my medical records of this???