u/this_is_taking_long

I just saw a video on tiktok of a lady asking some stuff about why people tan. And assumed they did to 'enchance their skin tone'. And I see a lot of takes like this.

And frankly I think its weird. Because there's nothing wrong with not tanning. And the idea that you have to 'enhance' very pale skin is weird.

Obviously, if you wanna tan, you do you. I have no issue with that. Be whoever you wanna be.

I just see so many takes being like 'its gross' 'i look sickly' or 'tanning looks healthier', when its just not true. My grandpa died of skin cancer, so no, I dont think sitting in the sun all day will make me healthier in any way.

Yes my legs and arms may be glow when I step into the sun, but that doesn't mean I have to tan. It doesn't mean I look weird or sick. Im just really pale and thats okay.

(english isnt my first language, please forgive me if I dont make any sense)

Edit: i hadn't thought about it before, but a lot of you are right. Skin tones and stuff are just another 'body trend' and its very cultural as to what is the beauty standard,

So this is gonna be a very long message, apologies in advance lol. And English isnt my first language, so i hope this makes sense.

​

Theres a bit of backstory youre gonna need for this story;

​

So basically Im at home full time. (Cant work or go to school). I have autism, major depressive, and severe social anxiety. I am no longer in therapy. Therapist either say the cant help me or I dont get accepted as a client for being a too complicated case. Anyways, this has led to me being pretty isolated and wanting to spend time with my brother. I know he doesn't owe me anything, I just want to be friends with him.

​

My brother has adhd, and a few months ago said he wanted family therapy. Eventhough he refused to say why he wanted that, we (my brother and i and my divorced parents) all went. This was very hard for me because I can barely leave the house due to said circumstances. But I wanted to help him, so i went.

​

We all addressed our issues, and i feel I put in a lot of work to stop doing what others had difficulties with. But according to me and my mother my brother didnt put in any work at all. (The same issues kept reoccurring consistency over months).

​

Anyways thats the backstory.

​

I often ask my brother if he wants to do something. (Games, watch a movie, whatever). His reply 'yes' and the result is always no. And then the excuse is 'thats just not how my brain works, I dont know what i want to later in a day' referring to his adhd. Or 'i just didnt want to hurt your feelings by saying no'. Which is very sweet, but i have told him multiple times over the span of years that he didnt have to do that.

​

Skip to this evening, I ask him to play a certain game with me. He says yes. I said ill call you around 8. He said okay. So, I call at 8:15, already giving him some time (im very punctual, but i know not everyone is so i tried to give him some space there). He couldn't play then, he was still in the bath. So I call 30 minutes later. No, still in the bath. So I ask when hes gonna get out. He gives me attitude and says he'll get out 15 minutes later. (Already an hour later then the time we agreed upon). Then he casually mentions he doesn't actually wanna play that game, so if we could do something else.

(Some more info, im at my mother's house and hes at dad's).

​

Anyhow, I tell him never mind, because I felt I had to cry and wanted to hang up. I havent told him because I feel like I have this conversation with him once a month, and every time I try to adress it, he either gets "hostile" (not physically) or says he'll change, but he never does. (This has been happening for years now.)

​

Honestly, I dont know what to do. Should I keep telling him how I feel? Or should I just move on and stop asking him when I know hes not gonna change. I feel like i just keep setting myself up for disappointment.

UPDATE: I want to thank everyone for the replies. Due to my autism, I find it hard to see how my own behaviour gets interpreted, but your comments have helped. I am realising if I keep pushing im not doing anything to help the situation and I should be giving my brother peace. Im gonna try to have an honest conversation with him about him inviting me instead of the other way around so its hopefully less pressure on the entire thing. And ill try to find some friends online that are okay with the fact that I am extremely anxious and cant call so that im less isolated. Thank you :)

(Oh and if it wasn't clear, I do have a friend and a cousin i also hang out with, so its not like my brother is the only one around my age I do things with.)

Ive been thinking about starting to cosplay. But I do have autism and the idea of wearing make up and wigs makes me very uncomfortable. Can I cosplay properly without any of that?/does anyone else have this?

Like, some days im not hungry at all. Only eat lunch and dinner. No snacks, nothing. Just not hungry. And then every once in a while i get extremely hungry. Ive had a normal day of food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, whatever) but i just cannot feel full. I feel like i could eat a weeks worth of food.