u/tokwa-yummers

I (21F) was in the car with my younger brother (15) waiting for my parents to come back from the market. Naiwan kami sa car para may kasama yung 4 dogs namin. We had to pass by the market to pick up an order before heading home, ang pumunta ay yung mga magulang namin and my other brother.

While in the car, medyo uminit dahil di binuksan yung windows. The keys were with my dad so hindi namin mabubuksan yung window because automatic car siya and you can only open it pag nakapasak yung keys and turned on into a idle state. So I opened our door just a bit, only maybe two fingers wide for safety and because umaambon din.

Maybe an hour has passed, I put down my phone from chatting and then I saw this guy. He was just standing there from across the street, glancing at our direction randomly. Medyo naging alert ako, because it's just me and my younger brother, and our 4 dogs. Though maraming tao sa area (may pedicab, trikes, and two old folks in front sa pawn shop sa pinag-parkan namin) so I tried to shake it off, kasi baka OA lang ako.

The thing is, he was just standing there for a long time, doing nothing. He wasn't waiting for anyone either. Wala siyang dalang bags or anything. Just there, idle and repeatedly looking at our direction. Medyo see through yung window namin dahil medyo light yung tint ng car windows. So he could see me looking back at him and observing.

Maybe nearly 30 minutes has passed, andun pa rin siya and I started to get worried.

Nung tumatawid na siya slowly, like inching a bit, dun na ako medyo naging highly suspicious. I gently closed the door because baka nga OA lang ako and baka ma-offend ko siya dahil di ko naman siya kilala.

Naghintay pa siya ng extra minutes, glancing at us. At that point I was high alert na because he was too close sa car.

I finally breathed when he hailed a jeepney. Two passed by until the 2nd one picked him up. Take note, maraming jeep na dumadaan kanina pa. Wala naman ding dumating na other person for him to be with. Wala siyang phone na chinecheck. So dun talaga ako nag-alala

OA ba ako for being too cautious like that?

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months so far, and things are good in my side, and I have always asked him if he felt okay too. I basically check on our relationship if he's still happy about us, to which he usually says yes to. I do my best to communicate, be open, and be very patient, and he does his part too. In my eyes, we're doing well as a couple.

However, ever since he had to drop out of college due to health reasons, his self-esteem has gotten worse. He already has been insecure and doubtful of his abilities due to dropping out in Senior High School in his previous strand of choice. And this event in college really took a toll on him. And now it's starting to sadly affect me.

• He began to doubt his skills even more, he keeps on crashing out on any slight sign of him failing or not being able to meet HIS expectations. He gets easily frustrated when things are not going accordingly to the pace he requires, which no one really told him.
• He has been extremely harsh on himself whenever he thinks he has not been doing well in doing things like art (his current choice of career path). He envies artists who does better than him in subjects he wishes to excel in.
• He always believes that he's going to fail in life and fail me because he's still out of college after nearly nearly 2 years now (He still struggles to stay outside standing and active due to the same health reason for dropping out of college). He keeps saying and thinking that he's falling behind.
• He struggles in committing to his plans because it all loops back into him not having more faith in himself.

I've done all the kind of reassurances I could offer and thought would help him. I assure him that I will be there to support him more than ever. I tried talking to our classmates in college who are much much older than us and have returned to college at ages 23-26. Tried to convince him that he's gonna be fine as long as he keeps pushing forward, and to not stay in one place forever.

I'm starting to get exhausted in trying to help him mentally and emotionally. I've communicated this once, and the conclusion had made me feel like I'm bailing on him and not being patient enough to wait on his betterment. I do not know how to help him when he refuses to believe that he could be better and how he could do it, how to change his mindset, and generally just try to start on small positive attitude. How do I help him, how do I help our relationship?

TL;DR: My boyfriend is making it difficult for me to help him have a better thinking about himself and it's affecting my love for him.

Goal: I (21F) want to prepare a will where it would have instructions on what to do with my possessions, and who to give it to. I am looking for ways to make it legal in a way, gusto ko ma-honor siya in any case that something happens to me. I want to ensure that it goes to the people that I explicitly want to give it to.

Context: I am not on good terms with my family, and I don't want them to inherit my stuff, even if konti lang naman talaga yung gusto kong ipamana and the rest could be their responsibility to either dispose or discard. I want to give some of my stuff and kontings savings to my boyfriend and his family.

Attempts: I have searched so far that notarization is required if I write/type a digital will. I must consult with a lawyer in order to get it legalized and honored as a will.

Second was that I can write a handwritten will, which is highly likely to be acknowledged. Though I am not sure just how strong this would be in terms of being followed in a case where it's a family vs. non-related people.

Problem/Goal: I (21F) need to find any available free therapy to help figure out a way on dealing with my terrible anxiety, which is affecting the way I deal with my problems in life and my relationship with people.

Context: I have terrible anxiety, and I have only been doing patchwork on how to keep myself together and functioning through my everyday life. It has slowly worsened overtime and today, I cannot hide or manage it well anymore.

• It has affected the way I deal with my problems; I struggle with facing my issues, I often feel like running away and wish I just disappeared. I have a hard time resolving them, and I often take too much time away from it before I begin taking the step to fix things.
• It has affected my relationship and connection with people. I used to be reliable when people needed support from me. But now, if I can avoid it, I try not to be too close with people because I do not wish to give myself more problems than I already do. And now, in my relationship with my partner, I'm becoming more and more of a coward. Always taking space when conflict happens between us.

Previous Attempts: None, my parents do not entertain the idea of mental health problems. I have always been told to pray more for my wellbeing. So I do not have access to any clinic.

Even just one session would be okay. Just one bit of help to make me function a bit longer before I start earning for myself, and get proper access to therapy.

My mother and I have a very bitter relationship. Our relationship as mother and daughter is far beyond repair, that I am just waiting to leave my family sometime soon.

My mom isn't the best, but she's had her moments. Andun yung pag-aaruga sa akin as an infant, to a toddler, and until now as a college kid. She's present, but at a huge cost. She used to be physically abusive to me and my siblings as children, but now that we're older, she's become verbally abusive instead. Granted, she's slowly becoming more and more ill due to age and efforts to work along with my dad.

But her good just doesn't weigh out the bad in me. I've tried so hard to convince myself she's just got a tragic past. She's gone through so much and is trying her best. But there is always a part of me that's so hurt, that it refuses to accept those reasons to forgive her. And it doesn't get any better as I grow older.

I really want to greet you "Happy Mother's Day", but a part of me refuses to because I rarely felt like you were a genuine mom to me. I tried to fix things for us, but you're too difficult as a person. Naiinggit ako sa ibang tao na mahal na mahal nila yung nanay nila. I'm sorry, mom.