u/toottootmcgroot

my husband was the primary earner. I was laid off during the pandemic and wasn’t able to find a tech role since then. I fell into depression and anxiety and depended on him for attention and support. I did therapy and started meds but I wasn’t completely out of the woods. I cooked our meals breakfast lunch and dinner but he cleaned up after me and after our cats. I did the laundry as well. but that was it. he was tired from his job and taking care of my mental health and burned out. we stopped being intimate for over a year but he still wanted kids which i think was him avoiding the elephant in the room while still going after his dream life. we moved to another state to live near his friends who had kids as he thought that would be our support system. whilst i was still spiralling he was continuing his journey to buying a home and starting a family. we are religiously married and he wanted to marry legally once we reached those goals of moving state and buying a home. I fell apart once we bought the house and the wedding was a month away. I said I couldn’t get married and start a family under these conditions. I wasn’t happy in our marriage. I lost so much self esteem. I had no capacity for empathy. I felt like a narcissist, wanting him to plan dates or think of me in simple ways (I’ve always wanted to go bowling and never experienced mini golf and asked him for years, he didn’t do any of the planning, claiming he’s burnt out) but I wasn’t able to give emotional support or empathy when he was struggling either. We were together for 12 years. Im going to sign a quit claim deed to take my name off of the house. I have nothing to my name.

I’m moving back in with my mum in another country. Ive regressed and feel like I’ve lost everything. Im sad, bitter, and ashamed.

I’m moving back to the UK after living here for 2 years and would love to take a piece of Seattle with me. It can be tshirts, tote bags or something completely unique!

my husband was the primary earner. I was laid off during the pandemic and wasn’t able to find a tech role since then. I fell into depression and anxiety and depended on him for attention and support. I did therapy and started meds but I wasn’t completely out of the woods. I cooked our meals breakfast lunch and dinner but he cleaned up after me and after our cats. I did the laundry as well. but that was it. he was tired from his job and taking care of my mental health and burned out. we stopped being intimate for over a year but he still wanted kids which i think was him avoiding the elephant in the room while still going after his dream life. we moved to another state to live near his friends who had kids as he thought that would be our support system. whilst i was still spiralling he was continuing his journey to buying a home and starting a family. we are religiously married and he wanted to marry legally once we reached those goals of moving state and buying a home. I fell apart once we bought the house and the wedding was a month away. I said I couldn’t get married and start a family under these conditions. I wasn’t happy in our marriage. I lost so much self esteem. I had no capacity for empathy. I felt like a narcissist, wanting him to plan dates or think of me in simple ways (I’ve always wanted to go bowling and never experienced mini golf and asked him for years, he didn’t do any of the planning, claiming he’s burnt out) but I wasn’t able to give emotional support or empathy when he was struggling either. We were together for 12 years. Im going to sign a quit claim deed to take my name off of the house. I have nothing to my name.

I’m moving back in with my mum in another country. Ive regressed and feel like I’ve lost everything. Im sad, bitter, and ashamed.

how were you able to? I think I’m at my wits end and might have to move away from home.

currently I’m using a vitamin c serum, a simple moisturiser, and spf 50. I use a red light therapy mask every other day.

After 12 years we’re going through a separation. I’ll be moving out in a week and he’s already making plans to go to titty barista shops with his friends. The same place that he claimed he was so sad for the women that worked there and that it sucks how creeps are funding this. Then slowly he started changing his viewpoint and said well if women are choosing this work then more power to them.

Throughout this breakup there have been so many epiphanies of what he’s truly like and how much he has lied about who he is.

I want to check out and not feel so obsessive about how he spends his time or whether he’s being truthful to me. Im desperate to move on. Because it hurts so much to know I’ve spent this many years with someone that has a side to him I never knew. I was completely genuine and honest with him about myself and now I see how he was lying through his teeth and I fell for it. I feel like a fool.

Update: it’s only been 45 mins since I posted but my god I love women. You are all amazing and I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m able to start my day right because of you all. ❤️

I wanted to ask if anyone here has gotten traction from attending these events and landed themselves an interview? Ive been to a few and the situation looks absolutely dire in Seattle.

For context, I have a computer science degree and 2 years of data engineering experience out of university. I moved from Chicago 4 years ago with my partner and haven’t been able to find work since. I’ve tried networking, applying everyday for months on end, upskilling you name it.

It’s getting more bulbous and thick. I don’t want rhinoplasty because I like my nose but I don’t like the thickening aspect of it. My face is quite petite and small so it’s now starting to look out of place. I’m sad.

Genuinely curious. I came from Chicago and before this, London. I'm able to connect everywhere.

For a city that has so many tech companies, you'd think the city would be on top of this?

My husband handled all of the finances so I'm quite new to all this. I want to make sure I invest it wisely.

I received $60k from this divorce. I need to head back home to London. I know this money will vanish if I'm not smart about it.

I have a condo in Chicago that I'm renting out, and their lease ends next year in July. There is no mortgage on that condo other than paying for property taxes, utilities, and association fees. The rental income is $1950 but after bills and maintenance I receive $1100 a month.

However the tenants are happy with paying an increase of rent if that means they get to lock the amount at $2100 for two years. I haven't decided on what I will do.

I was thinking of selling that condo which would make $220k after all fees. I want to be able to buy a home in London near my family but I know it's going to be hard to find a place that's around 209k GBP (combining $60k and $220k) without a mortgage.

I have about $45k in a 401k that hasn't had any contributions since 2023 since being laid off.

I have a computer science degree but given this job market I have little hope in landing a role either in Chicago or London. So getting a mortgage will be tough as well since they depend on you having steady income. So I need to figure out how to pivot into something I can land quickly.

I'm kind of spiraling because I want to secure my future and not sure what the best course of action would be financially. If you have any advice on what steps you'd take I'd greatly appreciate it.

I am going through a divorce. I received $60k from this divorce. I need to head back home to London. I know this money will vanish if I'm not smart about it. I have a condo in the states I'm renting out but waiting for their lease to end so I can sell. Their lease ends next year in July. I will sell the condo and I would make $220k. I want to be able to buy a home in London near my family and I know it's going to be hard to find a place that's around 209k GBP (combining $60k and $220k). I have a computer science degree but given this market I have little hope I'll be able to land a role. So getting a mortgage will be tough as well. So I need to figure out how to pivot into something I can land quickly.

I'm kind of spiraling because I want to secure my future and not sure what the best course of action would be financially. If you have any advice I'd greatly appreciate it.

I was doing some research and came across the form Application for transfer of residence relief and was wondering if this is all necessary? I'm just going to be bringing two suitcases of clothes and toiletries since I'll be selling everything else in the States.

I hope that whoever ends up with him leaves him when they see how he's like in a relationship. I hope he can never get someone better looking than me. I hope he realizes just how much I involved him in our relationship, whereas he just coasted along and only thought of himself and his goals.

I hope he loses his job. I hope he loses his home. I hope he finally does the work on himself and realizes he was the problem. I hope he realizes his friends aren't everything. I moved for him so that he could live near his friends and as a result I couldn't find work in the area. He wanted to have children with me and claimed his friends were going to be our community to help us. His friends go to titty baristas and hires nude nannies. I can't believe I stopped my life for this man who can't even clean his room.

I hate him. I hate how he's left me older and jobless. I hope he's so miserable and realizes he made a mistake. The fact that I have to move out is fucking ironic when he's the one that dragged me here. Fuck him and his emotional constipation.

when should you move from beginner (100 spicules) to the next stage (intermediate 300 spicules)?