u/ultimatelyitsfine

Hi all!

My newborn is 4 weeks old now, and I’ve nursed toddler all through pregnancy and postpartum. I’m really happy I have, even thru nursing aversion to toddler, feeling touched out, exhausted , etc.- My toddler has exhibited almost no jealousy or unwanted behavior towards baby. She is in fact excited about sharing boob, and generally just really sweet about having a sister. I feel like big part of that must be contributed by the fact that I’ve tandem nursed?

That said, I’d love to be done nursing toddler. At best I can disassociate and just deal with her nursing for 5, 6 min, at worst I feel the desire to push her off of me, which is an awful feeling.

But I don’t want to stop prematurely. It’s only been a month of tandem feeding. My toddler is 23 months old. Before I got pregnant with my second I’d always planned to nurse toddler at least until 2, and maybe longer. But now with the newborn I feel those goals have shifted. That said if it would be a big detriment to toddler or newborn to stop so soon, then I can push thru. I have thus far.

Do I stick it out til toddler is 2? Let her self wean when she’s ready? Throw in the towel now? I know there’s no one size fits all and it’s ultimately my body and my choice, but would just love to hear your experience and opinions !

I had my second child on Sunday and I’m feeling strongly like EVERYONE sucks and FUCK everything. Including myself for some things

First off eveeerrryoneeee said second babies come fast! And easy! So I let myself believe it. Jokes on me because birth was horrible. Went unmedicated, I know I don’t win a prize please don’t fkng remind me, but my first birth unmedicated was honestly an amazing experience. Um this labor was longer, my water never broke, being born in the sac added so much pressure and I lost soo much blood it was like a horror film.

Now I have this newborn baby and it’s like yes ok a blessing she’s small and cute trust me I know but I don’t know this child??? Who are you ? This is an angry little potato demanding everything of me while I have to sit back and watch everyone be COMPLETELY CLUELESS on how to take care of my angel baby 2 year old who I have spent essentially every waking minute with since she was born.

Her dad’s been doing mostly everything with and for her and I can’t stand it. Which I know isn’t fair. Strict about random fkng things that don’t matter and enforcing rules that have never been rules before so how would she know ?? I know it’s helpful that he’s around and helping but it’s also just glaring how little he has helped previously if that makes sense.

Then my mom is here helping and she’s very much fun grandma and my daughter is obsessed with her but she has ZERO BOUNDARIES and lets my daughter walk all over her and call the shots and if she tantrums she just gives her whatever to make it stop. It makes my daughter act like a little dictator monster. I know it’s normal two year old behavior but she’s suchhhh a good and sweet natured child normally. And I’m just sitting here torn apart and barely able to stand to just put a stop to all this. Best I can do is go pee and that feels like an Olympic sport.

All I want to do is spend time with my toddler but when I get 5 minutes of alone time with her she’s so fucking dysregulated by all this she just is tantruming at me and we can’t even have quality time.

I know I sound ungrateful but i just want to scream and cry and tell everyone to fuck off except my first baby girl. It’s too much and I’m pissed at it all. And I know it’s temporary and will get better. And I know I’m freshly postpartum and hormonally fuxkef up and need grace for myself I know. I know. I KNOW. IT STILL ALL SUCKS.

I need some moderately granola mom brain power from those of us who are not 38+ weeks pregnant taking care of a toddler full time. My brain feels like mashed potatoes and this baby could arrive any moment and I haven’t packed my go bag for giving birth. What are some snacks you enjoyed (or at least tolerated lol) during labor if any?

With my first I hardly remember snacking at all, just drinking lots of electrolytes. I recall not wanting to eat but I know it’s recommended and many do so I want to be prepared. My mind is blank w ideas tho. I’m really not a snack person in general.

I’m vegetarian for reference. Thank you in advance !!!

My daughter is 20 months old and has been walking since 11 months. It’s HOTTT where we live. Year round, actually, not even just the summer. I’ve had her in wide toe box shoes from the beginning , most days she wears the ten little rubber sandals. We have some see Kai run sneakers but her feet are sooooo hot and sweaty when she takes them off that I just feel bad. Lately I’ve been feeling like she trips a lot, I want to make sure the shoes she’s wearing aren’t contributing to this. Yesterday she tripped and smacked her forehead on concrete; I know it happens and is unavoidable but I swear this girl always has some kind of bruise, bump, or scrape on her head or face somewhere and I’m so sick of it 💔

I am just desperate for good, easy to put on shoes that will support her and let her feel supported as she runs and climbs to no end!!! They don’t have to be crunchy or granola, I just trust this community most. Just good supportive shoes for a busy toddler. Thank you in advance!

The past week my 20 month old daughter’s naps have been tough. Typically she naps 1-2 hrs by falling asleep in the car then transfer to bed if we’re out, or nursing to sleep at home (takes her usually 10 minutes max to fall asleep this way). She naps around 11:30am/12pm and bedtime 8:30/9pm, wakes up around 7:30am.

Lately, she’s been either not napping at all, falling asleep but then crying a ton when I detach her from the boob where she’d normally be completely unbothered, and/or napping for like 20 minutes, waking up, and not being able to fall back asleep. When I give up trying she hops out of bed happy as can be and goes on about her day. She’s not overly fussy or anything even in the evening. And her bedtime has been THE SAME.

I guess I’m just shocked, I knew she’d drop her nap early compared to a lot of kids because she has always been low sleep needs, but I didn’t expect it THIS early ?! I should mention I’m 33 weeks pregnant, so not only is this nap my lifeline atm lmao (my nap time too as a SAHM), but I’ve also wondered if this could be a reaction of hers to my late pregnancy rather than her actually being ready to drop nap?

Just looking for any perspectives on this! I’m feeling lost, like do I just not even offer her nap anymore, keep trying , or what? Where to go from here!? TIA 🥲

Basically what the title says. My toddler loves raw firm tofu just cut into cubes, which is great. I am a busy, tired, pregnant again mom and always looking for ways to make my life easier in the kitchen. We typically eat the same things , I just deconstruct her plate.

Looking for ways to use the plain tofu for myself that are yummy. Mostly what I do now is sushi bowls w rice, raw veggies, the tofu, and soy sauce/rice vinegar which is really good but I’m growing tired of it!

Edit ; thank you all so so much!!!!! I got so many awesome new ideas :) love this sub!

Baby girl is due in 2 months and husband and I cannot agree upon a single name for her.

Sister is Daisy Jane , last name is a super common (USA), single syllable starting with S.

We now agree middle name will be Hope or Marie , family names.

My favs- Delilah, Sage, Cleo, Iris

Dad’s favs- Ivy, Hope-Marie (yes.. his two grandmothers names hyphenated….😐.)

Only name we’ve so far agreed upon liking but clearly not enough that we want to use it- Jade

Any names come to mind that you think we both might like ?

can anyone confirm that the sand restoration work at PB municipal beach is finished/ beach is open?

Hi all- I’m 6 months pregnant and still nursing my 18 month old daughter. We have night weaned and she only nurses 3x a day, at specified times. I’m wondering if I’ll be able to keep up her current nursing schedule even when baby sister arrives-not regarding milk supply but rather, my actual time spent nursing her and if it’s realistic/doable with a newborn. I honestly forget what it’s like to have a newborn, so I’m having a hard time surmising if I’ll be able to do it or not. I do have help in the form of a nanny in the morning hours and a husband who is home often, but I didn’t pump with my first and don’t really plan to with my second. Okay so here’s her schedule :

She naps independently but wakes up after 30 min typically, at which point I get her on the boob and she sleeps 30-1hr more. She breastsleeps 😬 this is probably a problem, right?

Then she nurses for about 5-10min after she gets out the bath, after dinner. This one is just for fun lol.

Then I nurse her to sleep as part of her bedtime routine. Actual nursing time here is like 5-10min max, getting her to sleep takes under 15 minutes almost always and then I lay her down and she sleeps thru the night.

These few nursing sessions are special times for us both and in an ideal world I’d be able to keep them as they are so she has that stability when baby comes. But if something needs changing, I’d like to get on it now so it doesn’t happen abruptly when she’s already adapting to new sister. I genuinely have no idea if what I described would be like laughably impossible with a newborn or if it’s totally doable, I’m feeling clueless about it. Experienced perspective would be great! Ty!