u/ultra_usernim_543

My dad has been coaching youth football at our local league for almost 18 years now. Hes given up weekends and holidays and never asked for a single thing in return. At 20 years the league gives coaches this lifetime recognition thing where your fees are waived and you basically get honorary status and its a huge deal to the guys who have been there that long.

A year ago the league brought in a new coordinator and almost immediately he started going after the older coaches. My dad started getting written up for stuff that made zero sense like apparently his practice plans werent submitted on time and his first aid cert was expired even though he literally renewed it two months before.

My dad kept his head down and just fixed whatever they threw at him but I could tell it was wearing him out. He told me a few of the other coaches whod been around 15 plus years were getting the same treatment and two of them already quit because they didnt want the headache.

I did something that maybe I shouldnt have and I went through the leagues own records that are posted online for anyone to see. Turns out the coordinator himself had missed submission deadlines at least four times in one year and his own certifications had lapsed twice before he even got the position. I printed all of it out and gave it to my dad.

My dad brought it to the next board meeting and basically said if youre gonna write me up for these things then you need to explain why the coordinator gets a pass on the exact same stuff. The room went dead quiet and the coordinator tried to talk his way out of it but it was all right there on paper.

My dad kept his spot and hes still coaching but now a few people in the league are saying I made it personal and went too far digging into the coordinators records. My dad says I did the right thing but part of me wonders if I shouldve just let him handle it his own way instead of getting involved like that. AITA?

My parents split when i was fifteen and my brother was six. I basically grew up being the one who filled in the gaps when neither of them was fully on it and that dynamic never really went away.

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My brother is seventeen now and has been dealing with some stuff at school, not serious but the kind of low level ongoing thing that wears you down over time, a situation with a friend group that turned sour and left him pretty isolated for the better part of a year.

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months ago i noticed it was starting to affect him more than he was letting on so i started checking in properly, not just the usual how is school stuff but actually sitting with it. At some point he told me he had never really known how to handle conflict in friend groups and felt completely lost when things went wrong socially.

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I am not a therapist and i want to be clear i did not act like one. But i did put together a handful of resources, some articles, a couple of short videos, one book that had genuinely helped me when i was around his age dealing with something similar. Nothing heavy just practical stuff about how to read situations and when to walk away versus when to say something.

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He got a lot out of it and told our dad, then called me and said our mum should have been the one to handle that and that i overstepped. He said it was not my place to be giving my brother advice about friendships when his actual parent was available and that i made him look bad by doing it without looping either of them in.

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my honest mistake is i did not tell either parent i was doing it because i knew one of them would make it a whole thing and i just wanted to quietly help. So i get why it looked like i went around them on purpose even though i was just trying to avoid the drama.

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My brother is doing better actually. But now my dad is not talking to me and my mum is somewhere in the middle saying she appreciates what i did but wishes i had told her.

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Am i wrong for just getting on with it?

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ive been looking after my sisters (33F) two dogs for free for years and im now being told im an asshole for finally asking her to chip in.

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im 36F sister has two large breed dogs, she travels for work a lot and she also takes a couple of decent holidays a year. for the last five years ive been thedefault dog sitter every single time she goes away. im talking four to nine days at a stretch, sometimes back to back trips, at my own place, feeding them twice a day, walking them twice a day, having them under my feet while im trying to work. shes never once offered me a penny. not even to cover their food. ive bought their food.

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ive never minded because i love the dogs and shes my sister and weve always operated on family looks after family.

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last month i was made redundant from my full time role and im currently freelancing while i look for something permanent. my income is genuinely on the floor for the next few months.

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sister rang last week to ask if id have the dogs for nine days while she goes to Portugal with her boyfriend. i said yes of course but asked if she would mind paying me 20 quid a day this time given my situation. thats roughly half what a professional dog sitter charges around here. so 180 quid for nine days of round the clock care of two big dogs.

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she got angry said im taking advantage of her holiday to extort money out of her, that family does not charge family, that no one else in the family would dream of asking for this, and that ive obviously gone weird since losing my job.

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i feel completely stupid for asking and also completely furious about being painted as the money grabbing one when ive been the one doing the favours unpaid for five years. AITA.

I (32F) recently bought my first proper car, a small classic ive been saving for since i started working at 21. Its eleven years of careful saving in one place, ive had it fully restored, and it lives in a garage when im not driving it. I love it more than is probably reasonable. Not a daily runabout, more of a weekend pride and joy.

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My brother (35M) has a daughter who is about to finish school and her prom is in a few weeks. About a month ago he rang me, very casually, and said he had told my niece she could turn up to the prom in "auntys car" with her boyfriend driving. He hadnt asked me. He had told her and apparently also told most of the wider family at a recent gathering.

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I said no, really politely. I explained that its not a car for handing the keys over on, that her boyfriend has only had a licence for about ten months, that the insurance on it is genuinely not built for casual loans to teenagers, and that ive not even let my closest mates drive it. I offered to drive her and her boyfriend to the prom myself, do the whole arrive-in-style thing, take photos, hand her over at the door. She seemed genuinely delighted with that idea when i rang her separately.

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My brother was furious. He told me i was being precious about a car, that it was "just metal," and that i was ruining the night for my niece because of some weird obsession with an object. He went and told the rest of the family id "agreed and then pulled out at the last minute," which is not what happened at all.

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I went round to my parents for sunday dinner last weekend and my brother turned up too, walked straight up to where id put my car keys on the kitchen counter, and tried to pocket them in front of everyone, saying he was going to "go and just check the car over" ahead of prom. I told him to put them back. He didnt. So i physically took them out of his hand and put them in my jacket pocket. He absolutely lost it in front of everyone and accused me of "humiliating" him in his own parents house.

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I left dinner early. The next day my sister in law rang me to say their daughter is now in tears because of me, and that i need to stop being "petty over a possession" and let her have the prom she wants. My parents have since told me ive been "needlessly dramatic" and that i should just hand the keys over for one evening to keep the peace.

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I genuinely feel terrible that my niece is upset. But the car is mine, and i never agreed to any of this in the first place. AITJ for refusing to lend it after my brother told the whole family i had?

My grandma passed about two years ago. She and i had been very close, id done a lot of her care in the last few years of her life, and when her will was read it turned out she had left her small flat jointly to me (28F) and my older brother (32M), fifty fifty. Neither of us were expecting it. It wasnt huge but it was ours, no mortgage, lovely little place in a quiet area.

At the time my brother was going through a really tough patch. Hed split with his partner, was sofa surfing, and asked if he could move into the flat for a few months while he got back on his feet. I said yes, no problem, take as long as you need, just look after it. We agreed in writing that hed cover the bills and the council tax while he was there, which was fair given that i was living in my rented place and paying for that.

That was nearly two years ago. He has now been in there rent free for nearly twenty four months. He is in stable work, has been for over a year, and has had at least eighteen months to save towards something of his own. Hes also stopped covering the council tax for the last six months and ive been quietly picking it up so the place doesnt fall into arrears, which means im now actually losing money on a property i half own.

A month ago i sat down with him and said look, weve been wanting to either sell the flat and split the proceeds, or have me move into it for a while as ive been wanting to get out of renting. Either way, i need to start using my half of this asset, and youve had a long, generous run to get yourself back on your feet, which you clearly have.

He didnt take it well. He told me i was being cold, that hed been "going through stuff" still, that grans whole intention was for the flat to be a "family safe space" and that asking him to move out was "betraying her memory." Hes since told the wider family that im "pushing him into homelessness" and "prioritising rent over family," which is genuinely funny because hes paying no rent and i am.

Now my parents are siding with him, saying i should "give him another year" because hes "still finding himself," and a couple of cousins have stopped replying to my messages.

AITJ for asking my brother to actually move out of the flat we both inherited, after nearly two years rent free?

My husband and i have a newborn baby boy who finally came home after about a week in the neonatal unit. I got pregnant while we were living abroad for work, and during that time his mum had moved herself into the small flat he only ever asked her to lightly maintain while we were away. When we moved back home toward the end of my pregnancy to be closer to family, i fully expected her to move out because the flat clearly wasnt big enough for all of us. But she insisted she "needed" to be there to help with her grandson, and since my husband has never once put his foot down with her, she stayed.

Since bringing our son home, shes been crossing so many boundaries that ive finally hit my limit. I tried to talk to my husband about it and he just said she had "more experience with babies than us" and we should trust her judgement. I tried. The thing is, she has been completely fixated on being there for every single "first" with our son, and has gone behind my back to make sure she gets there before me, every single time.

It started with his first proper bath. Wed agreed we were going to do it together at the weekend, the three of us, take pictures, make it a little moment. I stepped out one afternoon to nip to the pharmacy and came back forty minutes later to find shed bathed him in the kitchen sink while my husband was on a work call in the bedroom, beaming, telling me how shed wanted to "give us a break." She had a whole little album of photos shed taken on her phone. No photos of me, obviously.

Then it was his first proper outing. Id been waiting until i felt physically ready for it. I came out of the shower one morning to find his pram gone from the hallway. Shed taken him out to a cafe with her sister, "to introduce him to the family." A whole side of relatives id never even met got to hold my baby before id taken him out of the building myself.

The thing that actually tipped me over the edge happened last weekend. Wed agreed we were going to register him at the local GP together on monday morning. She took herself there on saturday with him, told the receptionist she was the "primary carer" while we recovered from a difficult birth, registered him under her contact details rather than mine, and came home pleased with herself for "saving us the trip." I rang the GP on monday to find we werent listed at all as parents in any meaningful sense, and would need to come in with id to sort it.

I told my husband what shed done and that this had stopped being about help and started being about replacing me. He said i was being "really hard on her," that she "only wanted to feel included," and that maybe my hormones were making me see it as worse than it was. His mum stood behind him in the kitchen with that tight little smile and said gently that i probably had postpartum anxiety. He nodded along.

I packed a bag for me and the baby and drove to my sisters. Its been almost three weeks. I really thought my husband would come round once he'd thought about it, but his mum has told him not to indulge my "tantrum" and he hasnt come to see us once. Not one phone call about the baby. Ive been best friends with this man for over twelve years and im looking at a side of him i didnt know was there.

My older brother passed away a few years ago and the one thing i have left that really matters is the old classic car the two of us spent years restoring together in his garage. it was our thing, every weekend under that bonnet and i never finished it after he went because being in it smelling the oil and the old seats, is genuinely like sitting next to him again. ive kept it covered up and slowly worked on it when i can.

a couple of years back i met my partner and we married. shes good to me in loads of ways but shes always been a bit funny about the car, calls it "the shrine," makes little comments about how i pour money and weekends into "a dead mans project" instead of into us, clearly resents it.

last week i mentioned i finally wanted to get it finished properly and maybe take my niece out in it one day so she could feel close to her dad. my partner went quiet then a couple of days ago i went to the garage and the car was gone. i asked her and she told me completely calm that shed sold it to a dealer because i "live in the past" and she did it to help me "move forward and focus on our life."

I got angry, she sold the last thing my brother and i built together to a stranger, for a fraction of what it means. we had a massive argument and she started apologising the second she saw my face but instead of stewing on it i got straight on the phone to the dealer to try and buy it back before it gets sold on or broken for parts.

WIBTA if i spend our own savings buying it back and refuse to drop it? AITA?