u/unfortunate-moth

i’m tired. i’m tired of his family telling me i can’t breastfeed in private because i accidentally left a tissue in the bedroom once. my in-laws said better not to feed baby than feed her in a room if i am not comfortable feeding on the couch (baby will rip off nursing over and refuse to eat because of my strong let down, it just doesn’t work, i’ve tried). my husband said their attitude is unacceptable and so it escalated into a huge fight.

now it turned out that my husband’s sister was also pissed because i spent 30-45 minutes nursing in her room so she asked chatgpt if that’s normal. and it supposedly said no. fyi i never said she can’t come in and i have nursed with his other sister in the room before too. i just need a bed so i can do side lying and no men to accidentally flash.

we traveled three hours to get to them. my baby was exhausted. and teething. she likes to power nap for 5/10 minutes half way through a feed, if she is detached from my breast she will begin to scream her head off and only calm if i latch her again. she does not take a pacifier or a bottle. so if baby eats for 10, sleeps for 10, eats for another 10, then i fix my hair covering (in my religion we cover our hair), yeah that’s a bit over half an hour.

my in-laws get pissed if they can’t hold her. i don’t let people hold her if she cries. so i figure better a quick nap than a cranky baby who i will anyway have to feed again because she is not full until i have a second letdown.

so when i heard from my husband that’s what she told him on the phone i was appalled at the audacity of this lady. and like we are the same age she’s not a teenager. yes my husband is the first married sibling with kids and the rest have never even had a boyfriend/girlfriend. but if she thinks chat has all the parenting answers then she will be in for a rude awakening.

this ended in a huge fight with my husbands family spewing every grievance they’ve had with me for the last two years of our marriage so we are low/no contact for now and we’ve told them if i cant feed my baby in comfort we aren’t coming over i til they either have space for me to feed or baby is no longer breastfeeding so … 2 years old give or take. but i just keep learning more and more ridiculous things that they told my husband about me and im just so done.

any tips to get it taken down? because yall, im flabbergasted. after having major fights with her twice (once when baby was born and they put a picture of her naked on the scale, a second time with a selfie the first time we came to visit them) where she finally relented and removed the facebook pics (my FIL didn’t so we reported them and they were taken down) now i see this.

her whatsapp profile picture with my baby’s face on it.

like … really??? what is social media? it’s a place where you put content up that you want people to see without explicitly sending it to them. what difference is there between this profile picture and a social media post? even if it’s set to contacts only, can you really verify that all of your contacts are normal people? and besides that, can you just respect this one major rule???

hey all! after my 7 month old peeed and pood on the potty i suddenly got an idea and has my husband fill my peri bottle with water. right on the potty i hosed her bits down and then patted her down with a burp cloth. they were totally clean.

this got me thinking maybe i just discovered a hack? any thoughts?

hey all! my baby is about to be 7 months old. we’ve been doing lazy EC but after i caught all of her poops yesterday and today i’ve decided to finally commit haha. so now i’m trying to decide between these two potty options.

my baby’s weight is consistently in the 90thish percentile and her height in the high 70s.

which potty did yall use at this age?

hey all. i was supposed to receive my masters degree in biology this september. however, because i was due to give birth on the day of my thesis defense (thankfully gave birth a few days later lol) some things were left undone. by the time my advisor submitted all of the documentation i was already well into the newborn trenches and missed the email that said i had 10 days to submit my thesis to the library in order to graduate this year.

now im being told i can only graduate in September of 2027. i tried to ask if i can just be in the ceremony at least even if i can’t actually get the degree but i was told absolutely not. at the same time though, my uni keeps wanting to charge me for a graduation gown. i asked whats the point t of me getting a gown if i can’t graduate this year and the lady was like “uh i guess you can keep it until next year.”

i am not planning on attending the graduation ceremony next year because hopefully I will be nearly a year into my PhD by that point and although I’m not planning on staying in the same lab, I do hope to stay in the same department or at least university.

a part of me wants to say screw it and still buy the down to just do my own photoshoot with it because i worked so hard for my degree and technically i did finish everything.

but another part of me wants to flip the school a middle finger and tell them they can take the gown to hell (not literally but at least i will not pay for it until i actually need it next year if for some reason change my mind and do go to the ceremony. but i highly highly doubt ill go next year because how humiliating is that being forced to graduate with the next year? so maybe no point in the gown at all. or maybe i should keep it as a keepsake for some day idk)

what would yall do? i need some perspective please

hello! so far i’ve done some lazy catches just by holding my baby over a disposable pad but want to get her a potty and begin to be consistent. she can sit for short periods completely unassisted and for longer periods with minimal assistance. she’s 6.5 months old and in the 90th weight percentile.

i remember someone once reccomended the IKEA potty to me. would that work well for our situation? what are importance features to look for in a potty?

hey all! of course i’m scheduling an appointment but my gyno is booked for like over two months so decided to pop on here.

i was never one to inspect myself much in the nether region but i did peak in a mirror a few times when i first got married (2ish years ago) because i was curious about what my husband was seeing.

however, since i gave birth and had a second degree tear, i didn’t have the guts to look.

now at 6 months postpartum sex is finally feeling a lot better, but i got a nasty hemorrhoid/fissure problem going on that suddenly got a lot worse (also have an appointment that’s like a month away). today the itching got bad enough i decided to whip out a mirror to see what was going on because i had just showered recently so i knew things were clean. saw nothing remarkable about my booty, but the lady bits……i was shocked. didn’t recognize the poor girl at all.

most shocking to me was that i could clearly see my urethra??? i’ve never seen it before (like never this clearly). actually at first i was confused and thought “huh my vagina looks really small” but then when i touched it to confirm i was like wait no that’s too high up (found vajayjay a bit lower haha) so wtf (yes i washed my hands before that and after too)

is this normal??! do yall have this too??? will it ever go away???? my husband finally convinced me to stop being as shy and let him go down on me a few weeks ago but now i’m so insecure again

hey all! when my baby was being we made it clear that we don’t want pictures of her fave online. people are welcome to block or blur her face if they want to have a picture with her in it posted but we don’t want her face up. my husband is a pretty well known figure (we’ve had people stop us outside recognizing us from online) and we have had people find pictures of us and photoshop us in all sorts of nasty ways like in coffins or whatever. so i don’t want to subject my baby to that. especially since our last name is quite unique so it’s easy to find his family online.

his siblings originally complied but his parents pasted a NAKED photo of her right after she was born when they visited us in the hospital. i was furious, my husband told them they are welcome to put a picture of her clothed and with her face blocked, they got mad and said they will take it down and not put anything up. we were like ok sure.

they haven’t visited us since but at 5 months post partum we finally made the trip out to them (≈2 hours by car). everyone was really happy and took pictures with her etc. lo and behold, i see his siblings posted her on their story with her face and his parents posted her on facebook.

i didn’t end up arguing about it while we were there i just didn’t have it in me. before leaving though we decided to play dumb and say “we had a lot of fun with you guys, but just a reminder please don’t post baby’s face.” immediately i got a whole thing about how their accounts are private etc etc but we said it’s our preference so please respect that. ok everyone seemed to agree. we get home, pictures on facebook are still up. a few days pass. still up. my husband sends a message to the family group chat (that his family didn’t let me join but that’s a rant for another day lol) asking to please take down the photos for safety and privacy reasons. siblings all begin to jump on him and say it’s not fair to tell the parents not to post they raised him and are so proud he is the first son to have a baby etc etc etc. again he says they can post a picture as long as her face isn’t visible. and its not like they don’t forward all the pictures we send to other cousins i know they do that so social media isn’t necessary for family. anyway eventually they say ok whatever you want. his parents see the messages but don’t react. a few days later, post is still up. he calls them and mentions on the phone asking them to take down the photos. again they say they have private accounts. he says nothing is private online. now it’s been another three days. photos are still up.

i don’t even know how to approach this. my husband is trying to find a way to bring it up again without causing a giant fight. i see he is in pain because his parents and i have always had a tough relationship. but i am so close to saying screw it and commenting on the post “you do not have permission to post pictures of my baby’s face online. please remove this.” (i wont actually do it because u think its my husbands job to deal with them but omg im infuriated)

Hey all! My baby is four and a half months old. I’ve been putting a firm crib mattress on the floor for her to roll on and tummy time and all that, but she’s getting too mobile for it.

All of my floors are tile and i’m on the ground floor so even in the summer they are cold. I don’t know how to best let her explore the floor. i tried a thick blanket on top of some foam tiles but she gets frustrated because the blanket slips. just the foam tiles by themselves i’m afraid it’s still too cold. I don’t have rugs, i want to get one big one for the living room but it’s not in my budget yet.

Any ideas? Thank you!

hello! not asking for a medical opinion but rather your experiences.

i (23f) have a lump that was was assessed as BIRADS 4a via ultrasound. i also have a four month old baby that i am exclusively breastfeeding.

Yesterday I had a trucut biopsy done. when they did the incision some milk shot out. but there was minimal bleeding. after the procedure I was told to wait for 15 minutes and if it doesn’t bleed i’m good to go home. I waited and everything was fine so i went home.

i tried to avoid lifting my baby (≈7kg) and only had to do it once or twice to get her adjusted in bed (we safely cosleep so i don’t need to lift her from the crib every time to feed). i checked and there was a little drop of bleeding but nothing significant, so i went to bed.

i guess my baby chose last night to start her four month regression lol because she spent all night eating. i was able to protect my breast so she didn’t hit it or anything but whenever i had my milk letdown i felt a little pain. but still it was manageable.

when i got up the morning i saw the bandage looked all red and the plastic bit on top had a bubble with what looked like a little bloody milk.

now im not sure if this bleeding is enough to warrant attention or if it’s just exaggerated from the milk.

i also wasn’t told who to go to if it starts bleeding so i feel totally in the dark here and have no idea who to turn to.

any thoughts?

NOT asking medical advice!

hey all! my 4 month old baby has a strawberry hemangioma on her wrist, it’s been there basically since birth. the dermatologist said we can either wait it out and hope it disappears nicely or use propranolol cream to help it go away.

i’m generally against unnecessary medication and since the derm said it is purely for aesthetic purposes i’m leaning against it.

however - i was also once a teen girl. i had a smallish mole on my finger. i spent years being embarrassed and hiding my finger. i hope to raise my daughter with body positivity and to love how she looks, but i am aware that teens can be very mean.

my husband had one above his eye when he was a baby and it totally disappeared so i have hope, but the wrist is a less common place so idk. i want to protect her as best as i can. so trying to weigh the pros and cons of this treatment.

has anyone had this and can say if it healed well or not? of course each person is different but i can’t find much about specifically wrist hemangiomas online so im turning here

hey all! i found a lump in my breast that has been marked as BI-RADS 4a so my doctor told me to schedule a trucut biopsy asap. the hospital was a let k schedule me for sunday.

when i booked the appointment i asked if there is anything i should know regarding breastfeeding - i was told that after the procedure i cant feed or pump for 24 hours. that sounds incredibly painful because i gent very engorged within just a few hours. also im worried that would affect my supply.

does anyone have experience with this?