u/uno_nessun0

Hi everyone, I'm not a Cambridge student and I never will be, also because I live on the other side of Europe. I had a question to ask anyone who can answer because I'm very curious about the figure of Simon Baron-Cohen. Our psychology professor often speaks highly of him, and I've looked up information about him, and honestly, I've seen that he's not held in high regard.

If there is anyone who is his student or has been one, can you tell me what he is really like: how he behaves, if he is empathetic... everything because his figure is really a dilemma for me.

Some time ago, I said I'd keep the name I was given at birth, and today I'm here to tell you that three days ago I changed it. There are many reasons, but the main one was to start over: my previous name had been labeled with every possible term (insults, degrading, humiliating adjectives, etc.).

Inside, I thought the child I was had suffered too much and deserved better, a peace he'd never had.

So I chose a gender-neutral name, and now I'll be free of all genders and my past.

Mine was a painful choice... it came after months of reflection and thinking about what was best for me.

My family doesn't know and never will. They would be against me, while my friends know and respect me.

I'm happy to be free now 🖤🩶🤍💚

EDIT: I've been asked my name... my name is Robin

Hi everyone, today for the first time I told one of my best friends that I'm agender and I talked to her about dysphoria.

on top of that I told him my new name (and I'll talk about this in another post) and after all that he said: "well yes but for me you will always be (dead name) and I will call you that because for me it's too strange to call you by another name"

Honestly, I don't know what to do because she's one of my best friends and I understand if I upset her because I've been very good at hiding the diaphoria and then I dress very feminine but I've told and explained everything so I don't understand why she can't make an effort.

Only my online friends have accepted it, and I'm really happy to have met them because with them I don't have to be afraid to show myself for who I really am.

the thing I know and that doesn't make me feel good is that in front of my family and friends in real life I won't be able to be myself.

I'm really sure they won't accept me because there were members of my family who took life paths they didn't accept and they argued for months, while my parents wouldn't accept it: my mother would always scold me at the first opportunity and my father is very religious and I know it wouldn't end well.

Sorry for this little outburst but sometimes it's hard to be yourself.

ciao a tutti è la prima volta che scrivo qua e ho bisogno di un aiuto per la mia amica che vive in Sardegna

lei sta molto male ma davvero tanto, ha varie diagnosi tra cui autismo, adhd, borderline e altro e ha chiesto a più strutture aiuto e nessuno l'ha mai ricoverata.

qualcuno qua conosce delle strutture dove ti prendono sul serio e ti ricoverano.

aggiungo anche che non sta mangiando da giorni ed è debilitata

TW: sh/sa/suicide

ciao a tutti! sono Persona18 (sono agender) e avevo bisogno di un vostro parere.

l'8 settembre andrò per la prima volta dallo psichiatra perché sono statə dimessə dalla neuropsichiatra appena compiuti 18 anni perché sono neurodivergente.

È la prima volta che mi trovo davanti a uno psichiatra e sono un pochino in ansia, non ho idea di come si svolga la visita e di cosa possa chiedermi considerando che è un incontro conoscitivo perciò se qualcuno ha qualche suggerimento da darmi lo accetterò volentieri.

poi ho un'altra domanda: allo psichiatra posso parlare di tutto senza preoccuparmi essendo che sono maggiorenne?

diciamo che ci sono alcune cose di cui non ho mai parlato a nessuno: la mia sessualità, la religione, la mia doppia vita, l'abuso subito e il tentato suicidio a 13 anni. (quest'ultima cosa è quella che mi preoccupa più di tutte).

faccio una premessa: io so che posso tenere nascoste tutte queste cose appena scritte per il resto della mia vita, ma dopo tanti anni il nascondere tutto sta iniziando a pesarmi ma ho davvero paura che la mia famiglia scoprisse tutto ciò.

perciò scusate la lunghezza del messaggio e scusate se ho parlato citato tematiche piuttosto delicate ma non sapevo a chi chiedere aiuto/consigli.

Hi everyone, today I had a problem I'd like to share with you and get your thoughts.

For those who don't know, I suffer from gender dysphoria regarding my breasts because I was born a woman and sometimes I feel really uncomfortable wearing clothes that are too tight.

Today I had to go grocery shopping, and my parents scolded me for wearing a shirt that, in their opinion, was "too big."

They always tell me, "You're beautiful, you have beautiful curves, show them off," or "Come on, show off your breasts, they were made to be looked at."

All of this makes me very uncomfortable because 1) the primary function of breasts is breastfeeding, not to be a sexual object, and 2) I don't understand why someone would stare at my breasts (I should add that I'm asexual).

In the end, I was forced to go out wearing the shirt they wanted, and now I'm home.

EDIT: I reassure you that my parents are not violent people, they don't hurt me and the sentences they say are not pronounced with malice... they simply don't think that what they say could make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I don't know if this is the right community but, seeing the topics covered, I'll ask here I am neurodivergent, specifically autistic with suspected ADHD, and anyone who is neurodivergent knows how tiring it is to always have to mask yourself in order to be able to fit into society and how much it wears you out having to always keep control of yourself in every circumstance, never being able to be free but imprisoned behind a mask that you have built for yourself in order to survive.

Throughout my life I have suffered numerous consequences in this regard but, since I was 14, even though I am asexual, I began to develop a particular sexual fantasy: that of being submissive.

to abandon myself completely in someone else's hands, to no longer be in control, to let everything go.

talking to an autistic friend of mine who also has this fantasy, he says that it is linked to the fact that we always have to maintain control and that afterwards, during sex, we want to be submissive in order to be free.

Is this how you think it is? Do you have any other theories? Please give me some answers because I don't understand if what I feel is right or wrong.

This story is more of a Vent than a story so please don't judge me.

I was born and raised in a Catholic family. In my country, most people are baptized according to the Catholic rite, so I know Catholicism very well.

In my country, the church has a huge influence on every aspect of life, and even though most people are atheists now, it still has a huge influence on government institutions, schools, society... to put it in context, I basically look out the window and see the Vatican.

I attended catechism and received all the sacraments, not because I wanted to but because I was obliged to, and the most traumatic thing of all was confession: for those who don't know, at 6 or 7 years old you have to go to the priest and confess your sins and then be forgiven.

This sense of guilt has always weighed on me because then they told us that we would end up in purgatory or in the flames of hell.

You understand that all this is too much for a 7-year-old child, in fact we were terrified.

My family was very religious, and to help you understand better, I'll tell you an episode: my mother and I were arguing when at a certain point she grabbed the necklace I was wearing (my grandparents had given it to me and it had the symbol of a cross) and ripped it off, then yelled at me: this is a sign that you're a dirty sinner!

From that day on I started praying the rosary every night in front of the statue of the Madonna in Latin.

Finally, around the age of 13, I detached myself from everything and left behind all the fears I had... many things have happened and I no longer believe in the church and I intend to excommunicate myself from the church once my parents are no longer around.

This is my story in short. I don't know what you think, I don't know if what I did was right or wrong, but I'm happy to no longer be afraid.

I was wondering if, one day I had a partner, I should talk to him about dysphoria?

I know this is a strange question because I know you have to be "transparent" in a relationship, but I'm afraid of the reaction it might have.

Does anyone know what to advise me to do in that case?

For those who don't know, I have dysphoria about my breasts.

I don't know if it's more of a Vent or a question but just in case I'm asking a question.

This year the WHO declared suicide a global emergency due to high rates but I never hear about autistic people.

I don't know how it works in other countries but in mine it's not talked about and I live in Europe and I perceive it as a very taboo subject.

I'm honestly concerned because I've read studies that report suicide as the second leading cause of death among autistic people, while others report a 66% higher rate of attempts than the neurotypical population.

Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about this with people, not even a doctor.

I tried it when I was 13, I gave the signs but no one noticed, not even the psychologist.

What do you think about this? Have you ever tried it? If so, have you felt understood by no-autistic people?

(for the last two questions It's okay if you don't respond, I understand they can cause a lot of pain)

So, I don't know if I should consider this story a Vent (because it's a little bad) or something else but just in case I'll leave it up to you to decide.

What I'm about to tell you I've never told anyone so please friends don't judge me.

So I think we can all agree here that the vast majority of people think sex is fundamental in life and that society pushes you into it... when I was a child and we were doing sex and at school they explained to us how babies are made (which I already knew) but at a certain point the midwife said: "One day you will do it too" and that's when my world fell apart.

I was 10 years old and I didn't know I was asexual yet (I didn't even know the term) and when I heard this I felt bad just thinking about having to do it but, when I expressed my discomfort, I was told: "No but it's beautiful" "You'll see, you'll change your mind" "it's one of the most natural things in the world"

I convinced myself that it would be like this and from that moment I was terrified of sex.

As I grew up, my friends around me began to have their first experiences and told me about them: they felt pain (heterosexual intercourse), they had lost blood...

Besides being asexual, I'm also neurodivergent, and the thought of the overload of stimuli I might experience terrified me, so I decided to do something: since I'd have to do it the first time sooner or later, I'd do it alone.

I bought a toy and started to experiment, to inform myself because I didn't want to suffer and live what they told me.

A little clarification: I know this might seem strange to you, but I was taught one thing since I was little: it doesn't matter if you feel bad because someone touches you, hugs you, or something else... because these are normal things that everyone does, so you have to do it too (this was told to me by adults when they knew I was autistic). so I hope you understand why I did this.

I finally "lost" my virginity at 16 after a year of trying. Almost a year later I understood that I didn't have to feel obligated to do anything I didn't want and that no one had to impose their will on me.

And that's all: after all, I'm not a virgin anymore, so if someone asks me, I don't have to worry about what I'll answer anymore.

Please let me know what you think because I want to know your point of view.

Hi friends! I have a question for you: I was born a girl and I have a girl's name.

As I've written in other posts, I feel dysphoria about my breasts because it's a characteristic that society sees as feminine, and also for personal reasons because I've been sexualized several times for it.

As for my name, I don't feel uncomfortable because for me it's simply a name.

As for pronouns, it doesn't matter, I use them all... but always because I see myself simply as a human being and because the concept of gender is meaningless as it is a social construct: that's why my feminine name doesn't bother me.

In the past I was tempted to look for other gender neutral names but because I didn't want to be considered a female, whereas now I've realised that I don't have to do that to be what I want to be.

Do you think this is a contradiction?

penso che abbiate già capito qualcosa dal titolo ma ora voglio spiegarvi bene il tutto.

Per chi non lo sapesse sono una persona agender e da sempre ho provato disforia per il mio seno perché mi teneva ancorato al genere femminile e, di conseguenza, a determinate aspettative che le persone potessero avere su di me.

C'è stata però una cosa che ha peggiorato il tutto, ossia quando ho capito che il seno era una parte del corpo che provocava desiderio sessuale.

Sarò onesto: ho una classe particolare e piuttosto libertina (cosa che non considero sbagliata ognuno per me può fare quello che vuole con il suo corpo) ma quello che non capisco è perché raccontare tutto nel dettaglio della vita sessuale... e dai racconti ho appreso che, quando sono in un momento intimo, la prima cosa che fanno i loro partner è afferrare i seni e toccarli in maniera sessuale.

Onestamente ammetto di aver paura che una parte del mio corpo venga sessualizzata, specie per il fatto che provo particolare disforia per quella zona.

Se avessi una relazione e amassi la persona che ho davanti non avrei problemi a farmi toccare ma non vorrei essere usata come sento dai racconti delle mie compagne di classe, ma vorrei essere rispettata.

Non so forse questo non ha senso ma vorrei sapere la vostra opinione.

Since my breasts started growing I prayed that they wouldn't grow too much because I wanted to have a flat chest to be more neutral

I never told my parents this because I didn't know how to explain it to them and I understood that other people didn't experience it, but luckily they never said anything to me about buying baggy clothes to cover my curves.

Now that I've finished the development phase, luckily my breasts haven't grown much, I'm not a size A or even a size D so they don't show much under my clothes.

Let's say I accepted the fact that I have breasts but it created a lot of discomfort for me when others made jokes about them, saying things like: "ph you have nice breasts"

Honestly, I don't like that because my dysphoria goes through the roof.

Hi everyone! As you may have read from the title, I realized I'm agender a few weeks ago.

Since I was 14 I realized I was asexual and a few months ago I realized I was pansexual

Ever since I was little, I understood that I didn't feel described by the female gender (which would be my birth gender) but not even by the male one, even if I felt more comfortable.

I've always just seen myself as a human being: I was me.

I have always felt different also because I am neurodivergent and I discovered in 2021 that most autistic people belong to the LGBT community and this filled me with joy.

Maybe I'm weird but I wanted to ask you some questions to understand if I'm weird or if this is part of being agender:

- Is it normal that it makes no difference to me whether I use masculine or feminine pronouns?

-Is it normal to feel body dysphoria?

-Is it normal to feel uncomfortable because you're called "too feminine" or "too masculine"?

avete visto che in Niger l'asessulità è condannabile con il carcere?

È il primo stato al mondo a dichiarare che l'asessulità è un crimine e io mi chiedo esattamente quale problema hanno con le persone che non vogliono scopare.

Onestamente sono rimasta scioccata a sapere che potrei essere arrestata solo per il fatto che non voglio fare sesso.

ciao a tutti amici di questa comunità, quello che ho scritto è un pochino lungo ma, se riuscite, leggetelo fino alla fine.

Io sono F18 e vorrei raccontare l'esperienza che ho avuto con Telefono Amico Italia.

Ho letto di altre esperienze avute da altri utenti che, purtroppo, non sono state piacevoli ed è per questo che ho deciso di raccontarvi la mia che invece è stata estremamente bella.

Parto col dire, come ho già raccontato in altre comunità, che quando ero alle medie ho tentato il suicidio.

Sono passati alcuni anni da poco c'è stato "l'anniversario".

È una ferita che mi porti dietro da anni, nessuno della mia famiglia lo sa e mai dovrà saperlo... ma stava diventando pesante tenerlo dentro, come ho detto prima l'avevo già detto in altre comunità qua su Reddit ma avevo bisogno di dirlo a qualcuno direttamente.

Qualche giorno fa il dolore mi stava dilaniando perché è pesante sopportare quello che ho fatto e quello che c'è dietro al gesto.

così ho preso coraggio e ho chiamato. Avevo paura all'inizio perché non sapevo cosa fare.

Dopo neanche 10 secondi mi ha risposto un operatore che è stato estremamente delicato.

abbiamo parlato per mezz'ora e abbiamo affrontato il tema del suicidio, del mio passato e della morte.

Non voglio entrare in dettagli troppo personali, ma vi garantisco che mi ha aiutata.

Non mi ha detto frasi banali o frasi fatte ma mi ha fatta ragionare e mi ha fatto rendere conto di certi aspetti che io non avevo mai considerato.

Mi sono sentita meglio e più leggera dopo aver finalmente detto ad alta voce quello che ho fatto.

Questa è la mia esperienza, spero che qua altri ne abbiano avute di positive.

Grazie per aver letto fino alla fine :)

penso che dal titolo già si capisca quale sia l'argomento di cui parlerò, perciò se siete sensibili non continuate a leggere, non voglio che qualcuno stia male per ciò.

Mi è stato diagnosticato l'autismo quando avevo 2 anni: al tempo c'era ancora il DSM-IV e certi aspetti dell'autismo (difficoltà sensoriali, la fatica del masking...) non se ne parlava affatto, credo che in realtà neanche erano consapevoli di certe cose poiché si era più concentrati sul "guarirti" dall'autismo.

la scuola è stato un incubo: gli insegnanti mi trattavano come se avessi una disabilità intellettiva (anche se avevo e ho tutt'ora un qi sopra la media) mi hanno bullizzata e picchiata e ho ricevuto ogni tipo di insulto.

Fin dalla più tenera età per queste ragioni e per altre non avrei voluto nascere autistica.

La parte peggiore di tutte era che ogni volta che esternavo la mia sofferenza e che dicevo che ero stanca di quella vita le persone intorno a me (compresi i miei genitori) mi dicevano sempre: "non lamentarti" "sei difficile" "non parlare" "devi smetterla di dire queste cose" "accetta ciò" più una serie di insulti. (il tutto è accaduto mentre avevo dai 6 agli 8 anni).

Ho iniziato a non dire più nulla: dentro di me cresceva una grande rabbia e allo stesso tempo provavo una grande apatia mista a sofferenza.

verso i 10 anni ho iniziato l'autolesionismo e a 11 anni ho iniziato a fumare poiché la nicotina mi calmava, mi inducevo il vomito poiché non riuscivo più a ingoiare il cibo e poi ho iniziato a fumare le canne... il tutto è continuato fino ai 13 anni.

da quando avevo 8 anni ero tanto stanca di stare al mondo, non ce la facevo più... la sofferenza mi logorava e a 13 anni ho tentato di togliermi la vita.

Sono qui a raccontarvi ciò perché quello che volevo fare non ha funzionato.

Non sono mai riuscita a raccontare ciò, sono passati quasi 10 anni da quando ciò è successo ma negli ultimi mesi questo segreto che mi porto dentro è diventato pesante da nascondere... non lo posso raccontare a nessuno ho troppa paura che la mia famiglia lo venga a sapere.

Se tu che stai leggendo sei neurodivergente voglio dirti questo: se anche tu stai affrontato quello che ho passato io o l'hai vissuto per favore chiedi aiuto, trova qualcuno simile a te e sfogati e ricorda che tu non sei sbagliato e meriti di vivere e essere felice.

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