u/ur_mom_berniece1507

Exactly a month ago today I got to know my boyfriend for 5 years married someone else without even telling while he kept me waiting.

I don't think words can ever describe how I feel . Although I do my basic functioning almost every day . I wake up , shower, eat, go to my departmental for post graduation research, I work . I do that every single day but there are days my body feels like completely giving up. I loose myself to grief almost every night wandering why did it happen to me. Inwas so in love that I couldn't even see what was right in front of me . He got engaged to someone else and I still believed his words that he is being forced don't worry I'll break this engagement and not get marriage. I actually trusted those words. For I knew he's a spineless man but I wanted to believe that atleast be ain't a cheater, perhaps I was wrong . He decided to move on way before. The days I was planning my life with him he was planning it with someone else . I feel really disgusted and disappointed in myself for throwing myself out there completely for a man who didn't even love me . I can't bring myself to believe that he never really loved me . I don't know how this grief shall end .

I am aware I have been scarred for life now. I just don't know how long can I force myself to keep going.

The one person I 'F26 ' want to talk to so much probably doesn't even remember it's my birthday anymore. It hurts so much that I can't bear this pain anymore . I can't even reach out to him myself . I'm so helpless.

Back to last week of June I got to k ow my boyfriend of 5 years 'M29 ' literally ducking 5 years married someone else . I am so disappointed in making a fool out of myself. He says it's an arranged marriage and he's being forced but who the hell is being forced to get married in this time and age moreover the fact that you're a guy . My brain has stopped working, it's numb , it's like who was it whom I loved. He himself brought up the idea to get engaged last year , I asked some time because I was yet to complete my bachelor's. I don't know I think that was the only thing I took stand for in my entire relationship and got dumped for it . I don't know if I should be glad and I am saved or regret that I should have talked about it at home sooner.

But the most weird part is he ghosted me and soon as I told him that let's talk to my family . He did it after I told my parents . I can't be more ashamed than this. This betrayal will forever be carved in my heart .

I can't bring to explain myself how could he just hold some other woman's hand when he was with me just recently in January of this year and assured me that he won't marry her and make his family understand.

The one person I 'F26 ' want to talk to so much probably doesn't even remember it's my birthday anymore. It hurts so much that I can't bear this pain anymore . I can't even reach out to him myself . I'm so helpless.

Back to last week of June I got to k ow my boyfriend of 5 years 'M29 ' literally ducking 5 years married someone else . I am so disappointed in making a fool out of myself. He says it's an arranged marriage and he's being forced but who the hell is being forced to get married in this time and age moreover the fact that you're a guy . My brain has stopped working, it's numb , it's like who was it whom I loved. He himself brought up the idea to get engaged last year , I asked some time because I was yet to complete my bachelor's. I don't know I think that was the only thing I took stand for in my entire relationship and got dumped for it . I don't know if I should be glad and I am saved or regret that I should have talked about it at home sooner.

But the most weird part is he ghosted me and soon as I told him that let's talk to my family . He did it after I told my parents . I can't be more ashamed than this. This betrayal will forever be carved in my heart .

I can't bring to explain myself how could he just hold some other woman's hand when he was with me just recently in January of this year and assured me that he won't marry her and make his family understand.

It's my birthday today. I have never been really fond of my birthday ever since. But this time it's even person. the one person I have lost very recently. he married someone else just 20 days before my birthday without even telling me. always hoped I could skip my birthday i don't like this day at all but this time it's the worst. I don't know how am I going to bear with this day this time . I am feeling so unloved, undeserving, ugly for being cheated on like this after 5 years. The one who was supposed to be with me won't even call or wish me this time. I don't know what i am really anxious about, if he will try to wish me or will not wish me. I any case I am going to cry I know. anything at this moment will be worst for me. I can't give up my life for this one thing but still i really hoped this birthday would have never even come for me to see. I dont know what i am being punished for. Do you think he would even remember or would he even once think about me?? Even if he does, I know nothing can be done anymore now. This is the first thing I am doing on this birthday of mine posting such an embarrassing and sad event. Birthdays are not going to be bearable any more I suppose.

It's my post graduation exam tomorrow but I just cannot focus because of this one guy . I seriously hate him for dragging me academically down more than anything else and it's so frustrating .

Back to last week of June I got to k ow my boyfriend of 5 years , literally ducking 5 years married someone else . I am so disappointed in making a fool out of myself. He says it's an arranged marriage and he's being forced but who the hell is being forced to get married in this time and age moreover the fact that you're a guy . My brain has stopped working, it's numb , it's like who was it whom I loved. He himself brought up the idea to get engaged last year , I asked some time because I was yet to complete my bachelor's. I don't know I think that was the only thing I took stand for in my entire relationship and got dumped for it . I don't know if I should be glad and I am saved or regret that I should have talked about it at home sooner.

But the most weird part is he ghosted me ad soon as I told him that let's talk to my family . He did it after I told my parents . I can't be more ashamed than this. This betrayal will forever be carved in my heart .

I can't bring to explain myself how could he just hold some other woman's hand when he was with me just recently in January of this year and assured me that he won't marry her and make his family understand.