u/vintageideals

Hey y’all,

I am 41, live in PA, and am a single widowed mom of four kids. I’ve been widowed for 8 years.

I’m looking for someone to get to know who doesn’t live too too far away (so central PA, SE PA, NE PA, possibly MD/NJ/NY) that could possibly lead to a full blown relationship.

I’m really into music, cooking (as in, I’m the cook of the house and don’t want that changing haha), collecting vintage mid century housewares (mostly kitchen stuff), collecting vintage cookbooks, general thrifting/antiquing/yard saling, all that jazz. That’s my cute/girly hobby area lol. I also enjoy reading, especially about history and WW2. I love being outside, but I don’t know if I have any actual outdoor hobbies (except playground hopping). I’ve been interested in camping and fishing for years, but have never actually done much of it.

I’m basically an old fashioned Susie homemaker type. I don’t run around partying and I like more of a simple lifestyle.

I’m Christian (non denominational), and my faith is important to me. I grew up atheist, then was agnostic for a few years, and now I’ve been Christian for nearly 20 years. I’d love to meet someone who shares my faith, but since I’m unlikely to be raising babies with someone since I’m older now, I’m open to possibly dating someone agnostic. It really depends on our respective beliefs and how we interact and see those differences affecting things (or not so much). I don’t want to date someone with a highly conflicting faith or a complete lack thereof (atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, etc). I see far more likelihood of conflict there.

I do have trauma induced CPTSD and mostly grief induced MDD. I have done years of therapy and groups and have previously done stints of meds, but now I am unmedicated. I myself am not an alcoholic or addict, but I have been affiliated with the 12 step programs for relatives for years and still sponsor someone.

I’m short, pale and freckled, wear some make up but would not classify myself as “high maintenance” though I’m feminine, I’m kinda homely, chunky, and top heavy. With glasses.

Send me a song!

Quick backstory that I met my husband in 2006 and in 2008 after we got married, our first baby died. He relapsed with alcohol off and on for a few years which snowballed into sex and drug addictions that he struggled with off and on until his death in 2018, leaving me widowed w four kids. One year and 5 days later, my dad died. 3 months later, my mother abruptly died (parents died from health issues). I had been in nar anon and al anon since 2012 and still sponsor someone.

My lifelong best friend lives out of state and I haven’t seen her in person for years but we text regularly. I had been loose friends with a neighbor who had two kids until they moved out of state in June 2023.

I had been a homemaker during my marriage, and I remained home for a few years afterwards to be with my kids and until my youngest one was in school all day. So in September 2023, I started a job. I met a woman there who was a single mom with a young son, who had a history of struggling with addiction. She was clean and sober and we fast became great friends. I had finally found a mom friend with whom I could be comfortable and close.

All of the women who shared my faith I have met through church etc do not even attempt to form any true bonds or friendships with me. There is a disparity there that is difficult to put into words. But perhaps this woman’s history of addiction and stuff made her more humble and less judgmental and more genuine than the typical sheltered church ladies I am used to.

She and her son and m kids and I became good friends. When they wound u sick on Thanksgiving one year, I packed up a Thanksgiving buffet for her and her son and took it over there for them. Once my vertigo and stuff began affecting my ability to drive, she drove me to a bunch of places.

Then she lost her job. Then some signs of trouble began, I could tell the stress was affecting her. Then a year ago, she showed up to my driveway pregnant and scared. Unsure of how she could do this.

I was her maternal voice of reason (I was 17 years older than her), even though she had a mother they had a strained relationship. In December, I knew for sure she was sliding. Nearly all communication broke off after January. In April, her mom took her son. In May, she had her second baby, another sweet boy. He was placed in foster care.

This passed weekend, her mother spoke to me about everything. I sent my friend an encouraging message. I hoped for the best. I lost sleep and prayed.

Then yesterday I sent her another message. And she was in my dream.

This morning, her mother told
Me over the phone that she died yesterday. In an abandoned building. Those with her just left her alone there.

Poor thing. And her poor babies. And her poor parents.

I miss my friend and now she’s never coming back. I wish I had a bigger nicer house and more money so I could raise her babies with mine.

I’m just so sorry for her and her sweet boys.

Hey y’all,

I am 41, live in PA, and am a single widowed mom of four kids. I’ve been widowed for 8 years.

I’m looking for someone to get to know who doesn’t live too too far away (so central PA, SE PA, NE PA, possibly MD/NJ/NY) that could possibly lead to a full blown relationship.

I’m really into music, cooking, collecting vintage mid century housewares (mostly kitchen stuff), collecting vintage cookbooks, general thrifting/antiquing/yard saling, all that jazz. That’s my cute/girly hobby area lol. I also enjoy reading, especially about history and WW2. I love being outside, but I don’t know if I have any actual outdoor hobbies (except playground hopping haha). I’ve been interested in camping and fishing for years, but have never actually done much of it.

I’m basically an old fashioned Susie homemaker type. I don’t run around partying and I like more of a simple lifestyle.

I’m Christian (non denominational), and my faith is important to me. I grew up atheist, then was agnostic for a few years, and now I’ve been Christian for nearly 20 years. I’d love to meet someone who shares my faith, but since I’m unlikely to be raising babies with someone since I’m older now, I’m open to possibly dating someone agnostic. It really depends on our respective beliefs and how we interact and see those differences affecting things (or not so much). I don’t want to date someone with a highly conflicting faith or a complete lack thereof (atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, etc). I see far more likelihood of conflict there.

I do have trauma induced CPTSD and mostly grief induced MDD. I have done years of therapy and groups and have previously done stints of meds, but now I am unmedicated. I myself am not an alcoholic or addict, but I have been affiliated with the 12 step programs for relatives for years and still sponsor someone.

I’m short, pale and freckled, wear some make up but would not classify myself as “high maintenance” though I’m feminine, I’m kinda homely, chunky, and top heavy. With glasses.

Send me a song!