u/whitestorm1997

This guy reached out after reading my Reddit matrimony post.

His own post actually seemed decent. He talked about compatibility, growing together, sharing chores and building a partnership.

The only thing that slightly gave me the ick was that he said one of his biggest turn-offs was women complaining about period pain. But I still decided to give him a chance.

After barely a few messages, I asked what he was looking for in a partner.

Him:

I like sex. All men like sex and this is also what leads to good relationships. I'm not too much into BDSM. Haven't tried anything of that sort. And I like busty women.

I don't have any particular preference in that regard. What I know from experience is that good sex leads to good relationships and even if one is Brad Pitt or Angelina. If the sex is bad, that look is of 0 value.

Yeah but at the same time I'm a simple guy who wants to enjoy life; share the happiness and sadness together with the partner.

If u have any specific question. U can ask.

Me:

Are you rich? Or are you a brokie?

Him:

I earn more than 3 times as of u but I also live in Europe.

Me:

How much money do you spend on women? Do you like to gift them designer bags? Diamond jewelry?

Him:

lol. I'm not a sugar daddy.

Sorry.

Wrong guy if that's what u r looking for.

Me:

Lol. I'm not a hooker.

Sorry.

Wrong girl if that's what u r looking for.

Why do some men feel so entitled to make the conversation sexual almost immediately?

It's honestly fascinating how some men feel so entitled to make the conversation sexual right from the beginning, then wonder why women lose interest.

Hi, I'm Female 28, based in Bangalore.

I'm someone who naturally prefers a quieter, home-centered life. I've never been particularly drawn to the corporate lifestyle and have always felt more comfortable working independently, pursuing my own projects and creating a life that gives me freedom and flexibility.So yeah,if you're looking for a very career oriented woman and believe in hustle and grind then i may not be the right match.

To me, marriage is far more than compatibility on paper. I believe it's built through communication and if I had to put a number on it, I'd say a successful marriage is 95% communication. The ability to talk through disagreements, share your thoughts openly, understand each other's perspectives and continue choosing each other even when life gets difficult matters more to me than almost anything else.

I'm naturally introverted and prefer quiet evenings over parties, clubs or a busy social life. I enjoy reading, writing, cooking and having long conversations about psychology, philosophy, history, and literature. Authors like Dostoevsky and Kafka are among my favorites, so I'd love to meet someone who enjoys thoughtful, intellectually stimulating conversations and is curious about the world.

I don't drink or smoke, and I'm looking for someone who doesn't either. I'm non-vegetarian and would prefer a partner who is also non-vegetarian, as I believe shared lifestyles make day-to-day life easier.

I'm not interested in casual relationships or modern dating culture. I'm looking for someone who is emotionally mature, kind, family-oriented and genuinely wants a lifelong partnership.

I also see myself living a quieter, home-centered life. I've never been drawn to the corporate lifestyle and thrive best working independently and building a life that prioritizes peace,love and warmth

I'm looking for someone who's curious, introspective and enjoys exploring ideas. If your world revolves entirely around work and that's the only thing you enjoy talking about, we probably won't be the best match. I admire ambition, I also appreciate someone who has interests, opinions and a rich inner world beyond their career.

Hi everyone,

​

I'm a 29-year-old woman living in Bangalore, and I'm hoping to make some genuine female friends.

​

Over the past few years, I've dealt with depression, anxiety, and a fair amount of loneliness. Lately, I've been focusing on healing, taking better care of myself, and slowly putting myself back out into the world with a fresh mindset.

​

I'd love to connect with other women in Bangalore who are looking for friendship, meaningful conversations, or simply someone to hang out with occasionally. Whether it's grabbing coffee, exploring the city, trying new activities, or just chatting, I'm open to it.

​

A small request: I'm only looking for genuine female friendships. I'm not interested in hookups, dating, or anything along those lines.

​

If this resonates with you, feel free to reach out.

Last year I matched with a guy named on Bumble who claimed he was looking for a serious, traditional relationship. He had recently graduated from Chicago Booth and had an offer from BCG Atlanta. Although he was originally from India, he lived in Atlanta and was visiting family in Bangalore.

The night before we met, and even the day after the incident, we were sexting. During those conversations, I made it clear that I only got physical within a committed relationship. He told me he wanted the same thing.

When he came to Bangalore, he convinced me to come up to a private hotel room under false pretenses. He told me we were going to a pool area and also claimed he was booking a room for a friend visiting from the U.S. and wanted to check whether it was suitable.

Once the hotel room door was locked, everything changed.

I was visibly uncomfortable, stiff, and frozen, but he ignored my body language completely. He used aggressive physical force against my body, biting and crushing his mouth against my neck, collarbone, and shoulders. The bruising was severe and deep enough to cause temporary nerve compression.

At one point, he started moving toward my pants. I repeatedly said, "No, no, no, stop. I'm on my period. I'm bleeding heavily." Only then did he stop.

Later, when I went to the bathroom, he followed me inside. I had to ask him to leave so I could use the toilet in private.

I woke up in severe pain and remained in pain for about ten days afterward. Even moving my arm hurt.

Three days later, he completely discarded and ghosted me. He fabricated a story about a sick grandfather and abruptly left the city.

Because of the trauma and shock, I went into what I now understand was a fawn response. I felt trapped by cognitive dissonance and struggled to process what had happened.

Today, I carry immense anger toward him for physically and sexually assaulting me and then walking away without consequences. At the same time, I carry deep anger toward myself for freezing and not reporting him to the police or to BCG Atlanta when I had the chance.

Has anyone else struggled with this kind of rage years later not just toward the person who hurt you, but toward yourself for how you responded in the moment?

uy named Shubham on Bumble who claimed he was looking for a serious, traditional relationship. At the time, he had just graduated from Chicago Booth and held an offer from BCG Atlanta. basically,althoughh he was from my country he lived in Atlanta and was visiting his family. The night before we met, and even the day after the incident, we were sexting and I told him i only get physical in relationship and he said he was looking for same.When he came to Bangalore, he manipulated me into coming up to a private hotel room by lying, claiming we were going to a pool area and also he was booking a room for his friend from US and he wanted to see if it was all right.Once the door was locked, the dynamic shifted completely. Even though I was visibly uncomfortable, stiff, and frozen, he completely ignored my body language and used aggressive physical power against my body. He bit and crushed his mouth against my neck, collarbone, and shoulder area, inflicting severe, deep tissue bruising. The violence was so intense that it caused temporary nerve compression.. As he went down to my pants i said no no no stop im on my period. Im bleeding heaviky onky then he stopped..At one point he even followed me inside the bathroom when i went to pee and i had to ask him to leave.. I woke up in severe pain for ten days, and it hurt to even move my hand. Three days after the incident, he completely discarded and ghosted me, manufacturing a fake story about a sick grandfather to flee from my city..because of the trauma and shock, I experienced a "fawn" response and felt trapped by cognitive dissonance.. Now, I am carrying an immense amount of anger at him for physically and sexually assaulting me and getting away with it, alongside a deep rage at myself for freezing and not reporting him to the police or to BCG Atlanta when I had the chancero

I've always loved birthdays.

Even when I had nothing planned. Even when it was just a small cake at home.

For some reason, birthdays have always felt exciting to me.

But lately, every time I remember that I'm turning 29 next month, I feel this heaviness in my chest.

And I don't think it's because I'm afraid of getting older.

I think it's grief.

Real grief, mixed with a strange kind of melancholy.

Maybe it's the realization that I only have one year left in my twenties.

I didn't feel this when I was 19 and about to turn 20.

But 29 feels different.

Like I'm standing at the end of something before I've fully lived it.

Because for the first time in my life, I can see the end of my twenties.

And when I look back, I don't see a decade full of milestones.

I see a decade full of grief.

I thought my twenties would be full of beginnings.

Dreams becoming real. Moving into my own place. Career breakthroughs. Starting a family. Finding my place in the world. Becoming the version of me I was certain I would become.

Instead, so much of it was spent surviving.

Surviving heartbreak.

Surviving loneliness.

Surviving disappointment.

Surviving dreams that never happened.

Learning lessons I never wanted to learn.

Recovering from experiences I didn't deserve to have.

Trying to make sense of pain that often felt bigger than me.

I kept thinking that once I healed from this one thing, life would begin.

Then something else happened.

Then another thing.

Then another.

And before I knew it, years had gone by.

I kept telling myself there was still time.

Next year.

Maybe next year.

Maybe next year.

Some days it feels like I've spent so long grieving, healing, waiting, hoping, and trying to put myself back together that entire years disappeared without me noticing.

And that's the part that hurts the most.

Not that my twenties are ending.

But that they ended while I was still trying to recover from them.

I think that's why 29 feels different.

It doesn't feel like I'm reaching the end of a chapter.

It feels like I'm being asked to close a book I barely got to read.

It feels like being asked to leave a house I never really got to live in.

A house I spent most of my time repairing, cleaning up after storms, and trying to make safe enough to stay in.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave.

Maybe that's what I'm grieving.

Not youth.

Not age.

But the girl who entered her twenties believing life was about to begin.

Only to look up one day and realize an entire decade had passed while she was trying to recover from it.

I'm crying and shaking as I write this and I really don't know what to do

This happened last year in September

I did everything to try to heal but I'm still here crying and trying to recover..

A filthy pervert sexually assaulted me.

Before meeting him I told him many times I don't want to go to his house

He picked a place right opposite to his house and made me travel all the way there (18 kms) saying it's the best and I'll really like it

We were supposed to go to the restaurant and he said his apartment is right opposite to it and he has some gifts for me (which was a half eaten chocolate)

When I went there he immediately started kissing and groping me.. I froze.. I had the fawn response..Back then to protect myself my nervous system just shut down.

Then he took me to the restaurant I was super uncomfortable after which I wanted to leave and he said no look up it'll rain badly you won't get any cabs and took my hand and took me home.

The minute we went to his room he latched the door and turned off all lights and the room was super dark and he tried removing my clothes this time I had to scream "What are you doing"

Turn the lights on and unlatch the door.

He said why are you overreacting

I am just setting the mood.

I said no. He groped me hard and said OK fine and he turned it on and still wouldn't stop kissing and leaving hickies as I went into fawn response.

At one point he removed his dih n asked for a hj and I very firmly said PUT IT BACK. STOP.

He seemed annoyed and started kissing me hard like he was trying to bruise me..

No matter what I do..

I.still can't get over it..

Since then I feel like I can't stay in my body which has been violated so bad

I have this dirty feeling

I've always loved birthdays.

Even when I had nothing planned. Even when it was just a small cake at home.

For some reason, birthdays have always felt exciting to me.

But lately, every time I remember that I'm turning 29 next month, I feel this heaviness in my chest.

And I don't think it's because I'm afraid of getting older.

I think it's grief.

Real grief, mixed with a strange kind of melancholy.

Maybe it's the realization that I only have one year left in my twenties.

I didn't feel this when I was 19 and about to turn 20.

But 29 feels different.

Like I'm standing at the end of something before I've fully lived it.

Because for the first time in my life, I can see the end of my twenties.

And when I look back, I don't see a decade full of milestones.

I see a decade full of grief.

I thought my twenties would be full of beginnings.

Dreams becoming real. Moving into my own place. Career breakthroughs. Starting a family. Finding my place in the world. Becoming the version of me I was certain I would become.

Instead, so much of it was spent surviving.

Surviving heartbreak.

Surviving loneliness.

Surviving disappointment.

Surviving dreams that never happened.

Learning lessons I never wanted to learn.

Recovering from experiences I didn't deserve to have.

Trying to make sense of pain that often felt bigger than me.

I kept thinking that once I healed from this one thing, life would begin.

Then something else happened.

Then another thing.

Then another.

And before I knew it, years had gone by.

I kept telling myself there was still time.

Next year.

Maybe next year.

Maybe next year.

Some days it feels like I've spent so long grieving, healing, waiting, hoping, and trying to put myself back together that entire years disappeared without me noticing.

And that's the part that hurts the most.

Not that my twenties are ending.

But that they ended while I was still trying to recover from them.

I think that's why 29 feels different.

It doesn't feel like I'm reaching the end of a chapter.

It feels like I'm being asked to close a book I barely got to read.

It feels like being asked to leave a house I never really got to live in.

A house I spent most of my time repairing, cleaning up after storms, and trying to make safe enough to stay in.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave.

Maybe that's what I'm grieving.

Not youth.

Not age.

But the girl who entered her twenties believing life was about to begin.

Only to look up one day and realize an entire decade had passed while she was trying to recover from it.