u/woodily

I still love my spouse but I have come to realize recently that I don’t really feel like myself anymore.

I was more emotionally open, relaxed and excited to talk about random things for hours. Now most days I just feel mentally exhausted and emotionally detached without even knowing why.

There is nothing “terrible” in the marriage, which makes it almost harder to explain.

Sometimes I think routine and responsibilities over the years change people more than they know.

I used to be much more laid back, social, and emotionally available.

Now I analyze everything to death, avoid difficult conversations and am always mentally drained for no reason.

I hadn't even realized how much the relationship was affecting me until recently.

Has anyone else been in a toxic relationship where you slowly lost parts of yourself?

Maybe this is just me getting older, but I have started realizing that chemistry alone honestly means very little if communication is bad.

I have met people where the attraction was instant, but after a few weeks conversations already started feeling draining, repetitive, or emotionally shallow.

Meanwhile, the strongest relationships I have seen usually involve people who genuinely know how to communicate, stay curious about each other, and talk openly without turning everything into conflict.

I feel like nobody really talks about how emotionally attractive good communication actually is.

My partner and I are long distance and we talk every day, sometimes for hours. We keep each other updated on everything, send memes, good morning/good night, all the normal relationship stuff.

But recently I've been feeling this weird emotional distance I can't quite explain.

It’s not that we don’t like each other and argue all the time. I just wish we had more of those random deeper conversations naturally. The late-night conversations about fears, childhood memories, future plans, random hypothetical questions… things that really made me feel emotionally close to them.

Now sometimes we feel that we talk mostly about daily life and routines.

Have any of you in an LDR had a phase like this?

I don't mean this in a bad way, but I realized recently that my partner and I mainly talk about everyday life stuff now.

Work, chores, what to eat, random reels, sleep schedules… And somehow those long deep conversations we used to have just faded away with time.

We still love each other and we aren't fighting or anything. I just miss being emotionally curious about each other like we were earlier in the relationship.

Has anyone else gone through this? Did the connection naturally come back or did you have to intentionally work on it?