u/wyyyyylan

I started prozac about one month ago. i am 20F and while I have definitely noticed a decrease in my anxiety, my dreams have gotten extremely vivid and I cant tell whats a real memory or not. in my dream last night I got locked out of my spotify account, so this afternoon i opened my laptop to fix it. I was still logged in and so confused.

Anyways, my partner says I talk and move in my sleep a lot. Yesterday morning I was dreaming I was fighting someone, and I started PUNCHING my parters head. He woke up immediately and was so confused (As was I) but he was understanding and not hurt.

This morning I almost peed the bed, which is so embarrassing. It was because I tried to pee in my dream. I am worried about accidentally hurting myself, because I sleep on a loft bed attached to steep stairs. I am worried I will hit my partner again. I am thinking about changing medicines if this escalates.

Does anyone else notice more sleepwalking, vivid dreams and confusion of memories, and violence while acting out dreams??

tldr; vivid dreams and sleepwalking causing me to hit people in my sleep

I am F20 and i am on 400mg of lamotrigine due to CPTSD and extreme mood shifts and episodes.
I did not feel any mood increase until i got on 150mg. After ~3 weeks, my mood fell back down again, so it was increased to 200. the same thing happened again, so we went up another 50. rinse and repeat until 400mg now.
Not only have I felt my mood shift back down again, It has this underlying feeling of numbness.

Recently I have had some stressors impacting my mental health that lamictal has previously helped me with. It is not helping this time, and I think they are getting worse. I have horrible dissociation, mood swings, and SEVERE agitation. I am becoming violent towards myself and others, and I am seriously considering admitting myself to a hospital. I am not seeking advice on my behavior, but I think it is important to mention relative to my experience with lamotrigine.

Has anyone else had this experience with the dose being increased, feeling great for a little, and then it coming back down?

At the beginning of our relationship 3 years ago I knew my boyfriend had a preference for a certain race. It is skinny, pale east asian women. I do not fit this example at all. I am chubby, white and non-binary. I did not come out to him until a year into rhe relationship.
It did not bother me at first. I know it is normal to have preferences. I have them as well. His ex-girlfriend fit into this type, but again at the beginning of our relationship I had no issue with it at all.

Before we started dating I found a private tiktok account of his, and it had no context except for the hundreds of accounts he followed- all “thirst trap” videos of east asian women. EVERY single account was content like this. Even accounts that had very little followers/ personal non-influencer accounts, Which I guess is not an issue. Just thought it was a little abnormal. I do not hold this against him because it was before we were dating. I just did not realize this was predicting a pattern of behavior later on in the relationship.
Later on in the relationship, maybe a year(?) later, I was scrolling on instagram reels with him. Every other post in his feed was the thirst trap content I found on his tiktok. I took the phone out of his hand and demanded to see why he followed and liked these models of only a certain race. I told him it made me very upset to see this was still something he was doing in our relationship. He got really defensive. I can’t remember why, but he quickly became closed off and trying to take the phone out of my hand.

This is when the issue with my self-esteem really began to bother me. I looked in the mirror and questioned what about me was not enough? Why did he have this fantasy despite knowing it made me uncomfortable? Why did he continue to entertain this behind my back?

Then, ~6 months ago, I was on his ipad. I was not snooping through it intentionally, I clicked on a reddit notification I saw. When I clicked on it, It opened up his home page for a split second and saw there was porn in his recently searched. I felt embarrassed that I came across this, because I did not have a problem with him viewing porn. I personally do not, and it has made me a little uncomfortable throughout our relationship that he does, but I recognized that it is pretty normal and sometimes he has needs that I don’t want to engage in.

However, I noticed that the porn subreddits he was viewing were EXCLUSIVELY east asian porn subreddits. they weren’t even regular sex clips (which I was assuming he was accessing,) it was all just nudes and masturbation clips of these women. He was not getting off to sex, he was getting off to east asian women again.
I immediately cried and confronted him. I told him again how uncomfortable this made me and how it made me feel so unattractive to him. Was I second-best? Did he settle with me because he couldn’t settle with another woman of this race? Does he continually access this material because he can’t have this sexual attraction for me? Does he think of these women when he gets off, does he think of these women when we have sex?
He pretty much had no answer for me why he feels such a strong attraction to this race specifically and why he continues to access it during the years of our relationship, knowing it makes me upset.
The last few months, it has really gotten to me. Every time we are out in public, I feel dread when we see a beautiful woman like that. I know what he thinks when he sees her. I feel anger towards myself that I was born this way. I look online at these women and dissect my appearance and compare it to them. It has become almost obsessive- i spend up to an hour doing this every day.
It has impacted my eating habits as well. I have been considering going on a diet.

**(I want to clarify, as per rules, I am not looking for advice on my mental health regarding this. I just think it is important to mention contextually)**

We have established new boundaries. If he accesses this content again, We will separate immediately.

I know it is irrational to feel this way. Making me skinnier will do nothing. Would I stop at this, or would I alter my appearance further because I do not think he is satisfied? Would I dye my hair black, make myself paler, wear j-fashion and k-fashion to appeal to this? None of this will help my self esteem. I think it would make it worse, and no matter how much I try it would just feel like I am cosplaying. It is an impossible standard I will never reach and that I will spend forever comparing myself to. Years of this behavior has destroyed my body image.
I am going to therapy. I realized a couple months ago I cannot face this on my own. The therapy has helped a little with the spiraling.

How do I approach him about these feelings? Does couples therapy sound necessary? Breaking up would uproot my entire life as we live together, I have no family in the state, I cannot afford to live alone with just my income. I want to try everything I can before considering separating, but I cannot live with this feeling forever.

TLDR; 3 years with partner repeatedly accessing inappropriate content of a different race, despite knowing it makes me upset. I feel like it might destroy our relationship.

I am really at a loss right now about what to do. in the last year I have gotten sick on average once a month. I got bloodwork done and it was unfortunately inconclusive and I have to go redo it. I work with children and I wear masks/have proper hygiene, but these sudden increase of illnesses does not make sense to me, because I have worked with kids for years.
I am autistic, i have PTSD and MDD. I grew up with basically no medical care, If that helps provide any context. i am up to date on all my vaccinations. Not asking for a diagnosis, just want advice on where to go from here, and if anyone knows what might be causing this. thank you

here are the illnesses I have tracked since july 2025:

july 22: (forgot to list symptoms)
aug 30- sept 3: ear infection , eye infection, throat infection
sept 8: throwing up/nausea
sept 30: fever
oct 3: cold
dec 1st thru dec 22: throwing up/nausea
feb 13: cold
feb 18: throwing up/nausea
april 4: strep throat
may 5: throwing up, fever, fainting

Hi,

I sought an evaluation and diagnosis for autism last week, and I checked my health records and it says that the psychiatrist listed "autism" and "autistic disorder". I was wondering why he used these words to describe it instead of autism spectrum disorder? I looked it up and it did not seem like there were many people who were diagnosed with this specific phrasing. It sounds very outdated.

Any help or advice is appreciated