u/xueyangscorpsepowder

Many of us have dated, married, and/or had children with men before we came out. Many lesbians may not have a choice when it comes to marrying men. And even if we didn’t have those experiences and struggles, we still exist in a world where men are misogynistic and lesbophobic (not exclusive to men, tbf) and it’s impossible to opt out of oppression that just because we don’t feel attraction to them.

It does feel at times that we’re assumed to have a lesser understanding of feminism and the necessity of women’s liberation, particularly if we’re masculine and/or trans/nonbinary. I’ve had plenty of conversations where women were willing to civilly disagree with me about feminist ideals and theory until I mentioned being a lesbian (and a butch one at that, when relevant to the conversation) and suddenly the respect I’d been shown vanished completely and I could tell they were treating me like I had the privilege of being treated like a man and don’t know what misogyny is (or that I’ll mistreat feminine women solely because I’m not of them). I have male relatives, male friends, male acquaintances, interactions with male doctors and men in passing. I’ve been a server and a bartender with male customers. I’ve been intimate with men romantically and sexually before I allowed myself to come out and be true to who I really am; it was more difficult for me to acknowledge my lack of desire for men than it was to accept my desire for women. I cannot simply choose to never interact with a man again and it would be ridiculous to assume that I (and any other lesbian) could or should.

We may not have the exact same experiences and struggles, but that’s true for *every* woman, particularly when you take into account the different axes of marginalization (race, transness, disability, and class immediately spring to mind). And this isn’t a new phenomenon; lesbian feminists have mentioned this long before I was born and it’s still discussed today in spaces that I frequent.

I’m not claiming every lesbian is a perfect feminist, or, indeed, feminist at all—that’s certainly untrue and I’ve met lesbians who very much uphold patriarchal values and haven’t done much (if any) work to unpack their internalized misogyny or (often externalized) transphobia/transmisogyny and racism, for example. I’m also not asserting that everyone else is bigoted against us or is ignorant of our historical and present day struggles and activism; I have plenty of learning to do about global lesbian and feminist (and lesbian feminist) movements myself. But it does sting when it’s clear that we’re met with suspicion and derision upon the reveal of our sexuality (whether online or in person) or when it’s assumed that it makes us inherently less able to understand what misogyny is.

It constantly feels like my incisions are being tugged on from the inside no matter what position I’m in (standing, sitting, laying down, etc) and nothing helps the pain. My incisions don’t look infected and I’m only vaginally bleeding a little more than I was yesterday, but I’m still scared enough to call the practice tomorrow.

Long story short, I live with family because I’m disabled and it’s that or homelessness. My uncle doesn’t give a fuck about the fact that I just went through surgery and have a connective tissue disorder that complicates the healing process; I have to go up and down the stairs multiple times a day to feed his cats and I can’t fucking take it anymore, but I’m afraid I’ll be thrown out if I’m “too difficult.”

I was feeling a little better today before feeding the cats and now I want to sob. I don’t have a heating pad (I seem to have lost it and I can’t afford another) or muscle relaxers. My mattress is 20 years old (they lied and told me it was pretty new) and broken down; my mattress pad doesn’t help very much at all. What the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime? I have scoliosis and a pelvic tilt, so I’m always in pain anyway.

It constantly feels like my incisions are being tugged on from the inside no matter what position I’m in (standing, sitting, laying down, etc) and nothing helps the pain. My incisions don’t look infected and I’m only vaginally bleeding a little more than I was yesterday, but I’m still scared enough to call the practice tomorrow.

Long story short, I live with family because I’m disabled and it’s that or homelessness. My uncle doesn’t give a fuck about the fact that I just went through surgery and have a connective tissue disorder that complicates the healing process; I have to go up and down the stairs multiple times a day to feed his cats and I can’t fucking take it anymore, but I’m afraid I’ll be thrown out if I’m “too difficult.”

I was feeling a little better today before feeding the cats and now I want to sob. I don’t have a heating pad (I seem to have lost it and I can’t afford another) or muscle relaxers. My mattress is 20 years old (they lied and told me it was pretty new) and broken down; my mattress pad doesn’t help very much at all. What the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime? I have scoliosis and a pelvic tilt, so I’m always in pain anyway.

I’d love to hear from people (of all genders, if you’d like) who used to do this, but grew out of it and changed for the better. What made you stop feeling as though that behavior was appropriate or warranted?

ETA: When I said “people of all genders,” I meant talking about what men find attractive when no one requested it, not how women also behave poorly.

Not sure how to feel about this.

I’m 5 days post-OP (laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy) and was only just now able to access my surgeon’s notes. It offered a bit more insight than the pathology report did, so imagine my surprise when she mentioned finding multiple endometriotic lesions (where? How many? I don’t know) but only excising and biopsying one nodule (in my Pouch of Douglas) and fulgurating the rest using bipolar cautery.

I was pretty certain that I could see various lesions in the photos that were uploaded, so it’s not a total shock, but I wish there’d been a bit more detail. It also seemed as though there was an adhesion in one of the pictures, but I’m no doctor and I very well could’ve mistaken a ligament or something—she said everything appeared normal aside from the endometriotic lesions.

I know fulguration can work quite well, and I’m sure there was a valid reason not to excise everything; I’m just concerned paranoid the lesions will grow back faster than they might have otherwise. Oh well.

I’m 5 days post-OP (laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy) and was only just now able to access my surgeon’s notes. It offered a bit more insight than the pathology report did, so imagine my surprise when she mentioned finding multiple endometriotic lesions (where? How many? I don’t know) but only excising and biopsying one nodule (in my Pouch of Douglas) and fulgurating the rest using bipolar cautery.

I was pretty certain that I could see various lesions in the photos that were uploaded, so it’s not a total shock, but I wish there’d been a bit more detail. It also seemed as though there was an adhesion in one of the pictures, but I’m no doctor and I very well could’ve mistaken a ligament or something—she said everything appeared normal aside from the endometriotic lesions.

I know fulguration can work quite well, and I’m sure there was a valid reason not to excise everything; I’m just concerned paranoid the lesions will grow back faster than they might have otherwise. Oh well.

Strangely enough, this didn’t happen when I was taking 50mg; it only started occurring at 100mg.

I’m tired of mouth-breathing.

I’m technically diagnosed with diffuse alopecia areata via punch biopsy, but I’m unconvinced as topical steroids only helped a little (as did the medicated shampoo) and I think I likely have AGA with higher inflammation than is typically seen. The pattern matches that, albeit the biopsy notes did point out other things that were common in AA.

I started OM (1.25mg) in February 2026 and it seems as though the dread shed has ended, but I occasionally still lose short, thin hairs. The dermatologist who diagnosed me said she found no signs of miniaturization, but I find that very hard to believe as I’ve dealt with noticeable hair loss since I was 18 (I just turned 30).

Is this normal? I thought my hair growth cycle was meant to “sync up,” so to speak.

I’m currently recovering from a laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy that found endometriosis, but I plan to ask about spironolactone as I struggle with recurrent hormonal acne and incredibly oily hair despite my normal androgen levels. I don’t have PCOS and I’ve wondered about mild NCAH (my 17-hydroxypregnenolone came back high), but I don’t know how to go about asking for tests. I have no idea what my estrogen levels are. I do know that my 17-hydroxyprogesterone was normal. Those have both been tested once. My prolactin was slightly high, but I believe that’s also only been tested once and could be a side effect of my meds.

If it’s relevant, I’ve struggled with dandruff on my face (I have combination skin) and scalp for years and rarely plaques on the back of my neck and scalp, though that’s a much newer problem. I have no diagnosis for that.

I’m 5 days post-OP and have been having a bit of “fullness” in my chest/ribs today; it doesn’t hurt to breathe and I’ve dealt with similar in the past. I’m also certainly getting enough oxygen, albeit I’m taking more deep breaths to see if it can help push anything out of alignment back into place. I did just take Gas-X (foolishly for the first time—I know, I know) and I’m drinking a soda now in hopes that it’ll help (RIP, GERD).

Does this seem like something to be concerned about? I did attempt to call Same Day Surgical Services two days ago to ask about light vaginal spotting, but they didn’t pick up or have a voicemail option: I looked it up and light spotting is normal. I must’ve forgotten that.

It’s always hard to parse things that are legitimate problems; I’ve had concerns in the past that typically turned out to be nothing at all or nothing dangerous, just common hEDS/HSD issues. I’ve looked in this subreddit and found a few answers (I’m sure I’ve missed more), but I’m not always sure of the best keywords to search.

I had a laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy done on Friday (May 1st) and got a notification yesterday (May 4th) about a new test result in MyChart; I assumed it must’ve been a glitch because all of my other results came back within hours at most, but I looked it over regardless because I get irritated and antsy if I don’t (yes, I have a bit of health anxiety because of constant dismissals and gaslighting) and it turns out it wasn’t a mistake at all.

My fallopian tubes were perfectly fine as far as I can tell:

Specimen A is received in formalin labeled
"fallopian tube, right" and consists of a 5.5 cm in length × 0.6 cm in diameter fimbriated fallopian tube displaying a pink-purple and smooth serosa with multiple translucent paratubal cysts measuring up to 0.2 cm in greatest dimension. Sectioning reveals a pinpoint lumen. No masses or lesions are grossly identified.

Specimen B is received in formalin labeled "left fallopian tube" and consists of a 5.5 cm in length x 0.5 cm in diameter fimbriated fallopian tube displaying a purple and smooth serosa.
Sectioning reveals a pinpoint lumen. No masses or lesions are grossly identified.

Specimen C is received in formalin labeled
"posterior cul de sac bx" and consists of a single irregular pink-tan soft tissue fragment measuring 0.8 × 0.6 × 0.4 cm. Sections demonstrate fibrotic, fibrotic tissue with benign endometrial glands and stroma consistent with endometriosis.

FINAL DIAGNOSIS
A. Fallopian tube, right, salpingectomy:
- Complete cross-sections of luminal fallopian tube with fimbria; no significant pathologic alterations.
B. Fallopian tube, left, salpingectomy:
- Complete cross-sections of luminal fallopian tube with fimbria; no significant pathologic alterations.
C. Posterior cul de sac, biopsy:
- Fibrotic, fibroconnective tissue with features consistent with endometriosis.

My post-OP follow up appointment is two weeks from now, so I’ll certainly be asking more questions then, but I was just curious as to what this actually means.

I did (still do? I’m not sure) have a small hemorrhagic ovarian cyst that my surgeon was already aware of and promised to take care of if need be (it seems as though it wasn’t necessary); she also told me that if she doin any signs of endometriosis, she’d do what she could to remove it. I’m so used to feeling horrible (I have hEDS and possibly POTS) that I figured things would go as they usually do and nothing would be found, but now I’m wondering if I was wrong. If it’s relevant, I also have a small intramural uterine fibroid.

I’ve ruminated on the possibility of having endometriosis before (and/or PCOS, which I believe has been ruled out because I don’t have polycystic ovaries), but figured if I did, it must be relatively mild in comparison to other people’s experiences and so the likelihood of getting it diagnosed would be quite low. I had a transvaginal ultrasound a few months ago and aside from the cyst, everything was normal. I’m aware that laparoscopic surgery is widely considered the best way to diagnosis endometriosis and that ultrasounds can be hit or miss unless your endometriosis is severe or you have endometriomas. However, upon doing my own cursory Googling, I’ve found many people who said their Pouch of Douglas endometriosis did show up on their ultrasounds, so now I’m even more confused. I’m assuming mine must have been quite small; the biopsy was minuscule and it appears that they only did one.

Does it seem likely that I have endometriosis, or am I somehow misinterpreting the results? I can’t recall being informed by any clinicians while I was at the hospital, but my biopsy results weren’t posted in my portal until three days after my surgery. (And yes, I know I probably shouldn’t take much stock in portal results without a doctor explaining them to me. But knowing that cognitively and understanding it emotionally are two different beasts.)