STBEX is asking for credentials for all marital accounts - she wants access to "all marital accounts."

What's been working for you?

What went horribly wrong?

If there's an account where it makes sense for her to have some access (insurance covering the kids), how have you handled that?

I'm definitely not going to:

a) put username/password in plain text

b) give her access if the website clearly says each person should create their own account.

I'm thinking just print off the documents and tell her she has to call them, so the agent can explain whether she gets to know stuff or not.

I figured I'd share my progress here. Please ask questions to keep my info relevant.

I have these goals:

*stay out of the doctors office *incorporate juicing *incorporate fermented food and pickled foods, which I never liked the taste of before. This is to adjust my taste to tolerate these foods, and to feed gut flora. 

I developed a 10 day food plan, available on request. Determined to stick very close to it.

7.2.26 weight: 147lb Last day of fast.

7.3.26 Kept electrolytes going. Drank 1.3 qt chicken broth in 4 servings 3 hrs apart, starting about noon. Last about 10pm. No bad effects, tummy rumbling by 8 pm Belly: 33.5"

Look for updates in comments.

So day 38 of a 40 day water fast - ok I've had coffee about 6 of the last 10 days - and I'm super wanting to come out of this with:

1. a new diet with mostly whole foods (have a bit of a strategy for that)

2. new tastes for stuff I haven't tolerated before, especially fermented foods (I have a plan for that)

3. a freedom from energy drinks/sodas - struggling right now with a craving. No plan.

Anybody have insight on how to make #3 successful?

#3 is because those drinks aren't whole foods and I want to remove dependence on the stimulant components. I am ok with keeping tea/coffee and carbonated waters, but when I've tried to use those in the past I've still had cravings for the energy drinks & sodas. So I'm thinking there are addictive or effective chemicals that keep me coming back for them

I can't just give up my desk job for something more invigorating.

Right now I'm writing this because my brain is screaming at me that it wants the taste of a Mtn Dew Baja Blast Zero. I don't want this addiction in my life.

Besides good sleep, more movement, better foods helping with alertness, any tips to cancel the *craving*? I don't think there's a behavioral ritual that goes with it, it's not like I always have one while driving or something like that.

Am I trying too much to do these 3 things; should I focus on #1&2 and save #3 for another fast?

Is there a different action to sub in when these cravings hit (journaling, doing squats, phone a sponsor)?

Pretty sure I have some traits that bring me into community with high level autistic adults.

Going thru eval in the next couple weeks.

Wanted to ask if some specific traits I have are common among Autistics...

Was talking with my cubemate who just returned to work after having his first kid. He was explaining the joy and delight holding the baby for the first time.

Thinking back to my first kid, I was hoping to have that experience and didn't feel it at all. Same with second kid.

Was doing some work on emotions in the last couple weeks and I mentioned that I never wonder whether my emotions are right. I don't want validation from others.

Actually a friend told me that my feelings about how I was being treated were valid, and I was like wtf did you say that for bro? I don't need that. (And yeah I know THAT was a valid emotion too, lol)

Anyway, I treat emotions like sensors. I never validate my thermometer. Maybe I'll calibeare a sensor as regular maintenance, but when scales say a part is heavy or thermometer says the room is hot, I don't worry about its feelings. I just use the info to determine my next moves.

Does this sound familiar or am I just unique?

Person in mind has been sober from alcohol for 4 or 5 years now and sober from weed for about 18 months. The weed habit was pretty heavy daily usage for 30 years - high tolerance, high functioning.

Since getting clean they are really aggressive towards their spouse. Not just nagging but full on yelling, can't have a calm conversation unless they're being sweet because they want something. The spouse has always been pretty straight laced, only abusing sugar and caffiene, lol.

I'm wondering if the anger issues are related to learning how to live in a world without the numbing / coping mechanism or if that's all beside the point and something entirely different is at play.

I want a custom plate that would make people smile for a sec, maybe even have a whole good day.

Even if you were stuck behind me for too long in construction.

I want it to be generic enough everyone would feel good, nothing political etc

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My ideas so far -

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SMILE

PEACE

BRAVO

RELAX

CHEERS

HAPPY

ENJOY

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Any double meanings on these that I'm missing?

Which of these would make you smile most?

Got any suggestions? Max 6 letters.

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While fasting I want to go hang out somewhere. Work on some paperwork, write a letter, stuff i'd normally do at a coffee shop but... Everywhere I can think of is a food place. I don't mind being around food, but I can't be purchasing stuff... Except the library, which doesn't have great hours.

So I'm a 45yo male, 5'8.5" (174cm), in relatively good health, married, 4 kids. 

Lifestyle:

Mostly sedentary (working at a desk 8-9hrs a day) with moderate exercise 2-4 times a week (mostly doing small farm chores, mowing or tending animals or building things) rather than going to the gym. Occasional 5Ks in the 32minute range, not pushing very hard. 

Based in Oklahoma, USA. 

Diet:

Nothing special, eating out maybe 5 times a week and not one to turn down fries with the burger, but if there's a salad I'll fill up on that before anything else.

Over the past 6 months I had switched to a high protein breakfast (usually salmon, egg, & olive oil) in an effort to maintain satiety and avoid snacking before lunch. It helped.

Was dealing with high blood pressure (sometimes 160/95) and cutting out the snacking really helped with thi, got it down into the 120’s over 70's for the most part. 

Purpose:

Mainly spiritual. Having a rough patch in the marriage. Decided prayer and fasting couldn't hurt, I had worked thru some things in the past with shorter fasts.

Started out thinking it would be "until a breakthrough" but I've decided I'll stop at 40 and be thankful for whatever insights I do have, breakthru or not.

Unfortunately I'm not able to take a 40 day sabbatical and really retreat from normal life, but I did just finish up a week of staycation. 

Fasting history:

Had done 3-4 day juice fasts and up to 3 dsy water fasts before. 

Experience this fast:

Began at ~195 lbs (88.5kg) 

First two weeks: I only took some "key nutrients" brand Stevia sweetened electrolytes, and not every day. Started every other day on maybe Day 3 or 4. Just 1-2 servings on the days I had it. Felt weakness. Going up a flight of stairs I'd look at it and have to summon the energy to do it. 

No poop after day 1, but for several days. Sporadic until I got squirts from electrolyte experiments.

Dizziness after standing up (orthostatic hypotension) got noticeable on week 2.

Started mixing Redmond's Real Salt and some potassium chloride with water, plus taking magnesium glycinate pills at bedtime. This relieved the weary/weak feeling in all muscle groups. One night I didn't have my magnesium, was weak the next day. Took a bit of dialing in to avoid embarrassing diarrhea.

After beginning the electrolytes, the dizziness when standing up, not so pronounced. 

I've never felt so cold in my life! After day 2 or so, I had to bundle up at night with socks, joggers, and long sleeve shirt. Wife keeps it at 69°F (528.7°R, 293.7K 20.6°C) but I feel it's more like 58°F.

Midway Checkup:

Today (day 22) I weighed in just so I could see if there's much difference between first and 2nd half of the fast. Wow! 165lb (74.8kg). I'm fitting the smallest hole in my belts. 

For perspective, that matches my lightest weight in the past decade. My teenage weight was 155lb (70.3 kg) 

The weirdest thing is my full beard (long enough to cover a bow tie but nothing like ZZTop) looks narrower. In the past it kindof spread out and would make two points at the bottom. But now it's tapering to one point. I guess my face was fat and causing it to splay out before. 

Hi! My mother (79) has done this for as long as I can remember (35+years) - when she's listening to someone, her mouth moves along with the words.

As a kid I always thought she was critiquing my pronunciation, wanting me to be more crisp. If it mad me mad enough and said something about it, she would have to press her lips together to stop it.

She has kept doing it thru the years, and does it with other people. But not when on the phone or listening to the radio.

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I passed it off as just something unique about her.

Now that she's having mild to moderate dementia (Alzheimers probably), we're questioning if it's something neurologically relevant...

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Anyway, if you have a name for this kind of oral mimicry, (actually... Is that the name?) What is it? And could it be a symptom of something or just a weird tic?

Background:

I'll admit, I process things logically 99% of the time. But I have emotions too; I get satisfaction, happiness, calm, upset, irate, disappointed, it bothers me that this list isn't alphabetical, I'll be fine when it's complete without having to change it (whatever those emotions are).

However in my more intimate relationships I've always been the logical one, and I struggle recognizing when, and knowing how, to respond to anyone when they need empathy, except my 4 yr old.

When I explore this topic with a therapist or search for relevant ways to grow, I'm hit with some questions:

1. Why is most of the professional advice out there, which deals with this issue, aimed at getting the "logical" one to soften up and be more emotional minded? This doesn't guarantee they'll agree with or even empathize with the emotional person. Is this technique of lowering the logic emphasis proven to help relationships? Or is it just the only monetizable path for the industry...

2. Is there any therapy that helps the "emotional" party figure out how to thrive around the logical party?

3. Why are both logical and emotional-leaning people shamed for their tendencies?